IVE BEEN SAYING THIS SINCE I WAS A KID 😭

whens the update that fixes the multiple chronic illnesses bug 😔

I truly think the human body should have some kind of source code that prevents a person from developing more than one chronic illness and/or mental illness

I can handle one (1) at a time but when all of them are flaring up at the same time? That's a great way to push me into a breakdown of despair.

Like my legs and back and neck and shoulders hurt badly today, my narcolepsy has me exhausted and brain-foggy but I'm in too much pain to sleep, and I've got the symptoms I get a few hours before a migraine develops. And I don't have meds for ANY of these things anymore because of many reasons simplified down to: most of my doctors don't listen to me and the ones that do are now a 2 hour drive away.

And I've been on the verge of tears for days which has me suspecting my period is right around the corner and I swear to god if I get my typical endometriosis-excruciating-pain-cramps on top of EVERYTHING ELSE today, I might hurt myself or someone else. I'm at my fucking limit.

And I want to cry to like, "honor my feelings" (can't think of a better way to put it), but crying will make my migraine come on faster and make my muscles hurt worse so I'm just stuck here.

yes omgosh im having such a hard time finding brightly coloured wool yarnnnn

i just want natural fibre thats colourful pleaseeee

wish be knit with cool yarn rn

BFL & targee & cormo & rambouillet & —

and what i really want is more deformed characters who are GOOD instead of this awful pattern of the deformed characters being evil.

anyways i am currently working on multiple such characters.

Really wish I saw more art of deformed characters. More diversity in bodies. I feel like people are scared to draw us because they’re worried they’ll do it wrong or something. But 1. wrong and trying is better than nothing, and 2. you can always ask somebody for input. There are always people who are willing to answer your questions, you just have to find them. My asks are always open and I know a to of other people who are like that, too.

quiet reblog

✨ Things I'm insecure about because of my disabilities ✨

Being unreliable

Having a messy room

Abdominal bloating

Not being 100% on top of my hygiene

Having to excuse myself to the washroom more often

Using my mobility aids

Random bruising

My chicken (weak) legs

Having to explain myself to strangers

Taking the accessible seating on the bus/train

Tripping over myself

My brain fog (I used to have a fantastic memory, I feel like I come off as stupid now)

Being super sweaty

Not being "good representation"

Leaving functions early

Sitting on the floor in public

And so much more. This is a reminder that you're not alone in feeling gross or undesirable, it's also okay to feel that way.

Sometimes you need to feel the feelings before you deal with them.

so i spent a day admitted, the went home after having some relief. then it all came back full force 12 hours later so im back in emergency. lol

on day 5 of a migraine get me out of here

I despise the fact that disabled people can never look happy. Or show any form of joy.

Because the moment we do, suddenly we are 'not disabled enough'. As if our existence is solely meant to be pain and misery.

Something that really bothers me about disability activism and representation is how people with gastrointestinal illnesses or disabilities continue to get the short end of the stick and that nobody ever talks about it because it’s “taboo”, which it absolutely shouldn’t be. We can’t be open with people IRL, even in disability spaces, about our conditions because they’ll either view us as disgusting or triggering or they’ll view us as sex objects because of their fetishes. We don’t fare much better in fiction, with GI disability rep being largely allocated to either grossout humor, the author’s barely disguised fetish, or just actual pornography about our conditions.

It sucks because I have a lot of health issues, and I can talk about my chronic pain or my stigmatized mental health conditions with no fear of being shamed, but it feels like w/ my GI issues I’m keeping a dirty secret because that’s how people - including other disabled people - treat these kinds of conditions. People like me shouldn’t be made to feel like we’re outsiders in our own spaces.

(Note 1: This post is not meant to kinkshame. I bring that topic up because unfortunately it IS some of the only rep we get, and we deserve representation that talks about our disability as a disability and not something sexually arousing)

(Note 2: Other disabilities/illnesses are treated this way too. This is just the one I have experience with.)

anyway be normal about people with renal or gastrointestinal disabilities and conditions. your personal hang ups about anyone's disability are worthless. leave them far away from disabled people.

healthy coping looks different for everyone right, but i really wish it was easier to figure out what was right for me without all this trial and error stuff 😭