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Barry Allen - Blog Posts
inaccurate Flashfam quotes #5
the adventures of people figuring out that all the Flash's are kleptos
Hal: Barry, we need to have a talk.
Barry: What about?
Hal: It's about the blankets.
Barry: The... blankets?
Hal: Every time you come over for a movie night and use one of my blankets, they always disapear.
Barry: ...
Hal: ...?
Barry: sniffs they're just so comfy...
...
Dick: knocks on Wally's door excessivly
Wally: opens it Hey Dickie. What's up?
Dick: Where are they?
Wally: I'm not kidding this time when I say I have no idea what you're talking about.
Dick: The hats, Wally. My hats. Where are they?
Wally: ... sighs and points to a drawr
...
Tim: ...
Bart: ...
Tim, staring at his sweatshirt: Bart-
Bart: OwO??
Tim: literally cannot say no ... You know what? Keep it.
Inaccurate Flashfam quotes #2
Bart Allen: Okay, this is it. I'm battling a Evil supervillain trying to kill me and probably my worstest enemy.
Bart's mind: Make casual conversation and playful banter the entire time.
Bart:
Bart: Let's do it.
Outting myself as a nerd real quickđââď¸(as if it wasnât obvious by just looking at my page)
These were more studies on the characters than anything so I guess they turned out okay đ also I know I messed up the coloring on Halâs arms plz ignore them
Batman is how you get the views right?/jk
Honestly Batmanâs sketches were my least favorite but I still love my edgy SadMan
Concept: an episode of the Justice League cartoon where the MCs get sucked into a 90s teen movie⌠powers get reset to when they were that age.
Okay but some in the JL has definitely gone through the Watchtower security cam footage and made a compilation video of Captain Marvel banging his head on the top of a doorway.
And Iâm pretty sure we all know that he must do that a lot.
"Now you're the one that is going into a box. In the ground." *Cue Iris kicking ass*
IRIS SHIT PLEASE BABY UNDERSTAND. ALSO WHILE YOURE TOTALLY LISTENING TO ME, DUMP EDDIE ASAP BECAUSE THE SOUNDS THAT CLAW THEIR WAY FROM MY THROAT WHEN YOU AND BARRY ARE TOGETHER CANT HANDLE THE STRESS ANYMORE AND IF I RUIN MY VOCAL CORDS AND GO MUTE THATS ON YOU. and gosh this episode, am I right? This show is just getting so much better. Every episode is heart wrenching and beautiful and HOLY FUCK HE JUST SAID HES GRODD. YES. FINALLY. BRING IN THE EVIL GORILLA.
The noises I made during that episode embarrass me. I was a howling whale until the end.
Danny Is An Alternate Version Of Ra's Al Ghul And Flash Already Called Dibs On Adopting Him
Danny In All His Sleep Deprived Slightly Scuffed Up From A Fight Glory Is On His Way To Clockworks Tower To Hopefully Get A Nap And Maybe Some Homework Done When A Natural Portal Opens Up In Front Of Him And Proceeds To Unceremoniously Drop Him In The DC Verse Just Outside Of Central City Before Promptly Closing Leaving A Tired Danny Behind In A Run Down Abandoned Parking Lot.
It's Times Like This When Danny Regrets Putting Off Learning How To Make His Own Portals, Cause Now He Is Very Much Stuck For The Foreseeable Future And He Has No Idea Where Or When He Is. Luckily For Him However Central City Isn't Too Far Away, Unlucky For Him However Is That Once In The City He Realizes This Isn't His Dimension. He's Pretty Sure He'd Remember Something Called The Justice League.
So What Do You Do When Supernatural Bullshit Fails You? You Fall Back On Your Mad Scientist Roots And You Make A Portal Gun. So That's Exactly What Danny Plans To Do.
Unfortunately Staying Alive And Building Questionably Safe Portal Technology Requires Money And Supplies, So He Ends Up Wandering From City To City Doing Odd Jobs/Fixing Up Busted Tech For Cash Or Unwanted Electronics For His "Operation: Get Home" Needs. This Obviously Ends In A Few Superhero Encounter Shenanigans.
Though He Always Ends Up Back Near Central City, Both On The Off Chance The Natural Portal Will Open Up Again And Because Out Of All The Superheroes That Apparently Exist In This Universe The Speedsters Are His Favorite (Red Robin Is Solidly His Second Favorite Ever Since The Gotham Vigilante Gave Him A Large Coffee Filled With Enough Caffeine To Kill A Man).
Unbeknownst To Danny However Is That Every Hero/Vigilante He Has Encountered Has Come To At Least One Of The Following Conclusions; 1. Run Away Meta Who Is In Desperate Need Of A Good Meal/Adoption Bait. 2. Possibly Red Robin/Tim Drake Clone 3. A Good Kid But Could Possibly Be A Future Rouge If Left Unsupervised. 4. Did Bats Get A New Kid And Why Is He Here?
All Flash Knows Is That He Saw The Kid First And Therefore Has Dibs. Suck It Bruce.
Fast-forward A Few Months And Danny Gets Hurt During A Rogue Attack While Trying To Help Some Civilians Get To Safety (Old Hero Habits Die Hard (Ha Die Hard) And All That Jazz) And He Nopes Out Once Everyone Is Safe And When The Paramedics Are Busy With Other People Unaware He Left A Blood Sample Behind.
One DNA Test Brought To You By Paranoid Bat Concerns Of A Possible Red Robin Clone Later And They Find Out That Dannys DNA Matches One Ra's Al Ghul.
They Now Think Danny Is An Escaped Ra's Al Ghul Clone.
Memes For The Vibes:
Do you think Superman sometimes eats stuff he shouldn't to freak people out
Like, he'll be in a Justice League meeting, and he'll just start casually eating a chair
Always yes with this
There are degrees of shipping people with the Batfam. Like a spectrum even for established relationships.
And each non-bat can be anywhere from full civilian to other JL to someone turned this character into a bat by proxy.
My favorite is bat by proxy because it's a hilarious thing to me.
I mean, the ships that come to mind where the later works really well are Birdflash and TimKon. Which makes it better. Because Wally is a Flash and Kon is a Super. Two of the other rather large clans of themed leaguers with two of the other more recognizable family heads. I mean, throw in JayRoy and it's three of the others and adds in the Bruce v Oliver fun.
And the Bat by proxy thing.
I don't mean they just side with the Bats over the rest of the League. I mean they start becoming Bats by virtue of always being around them.
Like Wally just accidentally learning to be better at hearing people sneaking up on him because if he's gonna go to brunch with Dick at the Manor he has to be able to dodge these near silent people. Especially Damian, who will stab him if he fails a vibe check, and Tim, who will steal and solve your cases or hack your phones ringtone to be stuck at the loudest setting and playing Barbie world for every notification and there is no in between our way to tell which kind of day it is. So none of the League can sneak up on Wally. And he's smiling and capable like Nightwing but has also picked up that steal slightly crazy smile and no other flash is quite as scary as Wally.
Or Kon, after being constantly threatened with kryptonite by Steph, Jason, and Duke at various points just gives up and learns how to fight through the weakness and goes through enough bat training to be able to survive when he and then he's one of the best trained Supers in hand to hand and no one understand how. And because he's always around Tim, he gets really good and reading people. Because his life can and will depend on being about to tell if Tim is approaching someone at a gala for WE business or for RR business. Even the other supers are confused at how quick his is to pick up in the slightest shift in body language.
And Roy. It was easiest for Roy, going from Arrow to Bat. But that doesn't mean he didn't have to just get used to casually collecting blackmail as some kind of twisted way of showing love. The first time Tim gave him and Jason a photo of them on a date where neither of them knew Tim was watching or talking pictures Roy is shook. By the tenth he's finding it endearing and hoping that Tim manages to get around Jason's traps to get done candids of Lian. No other arrow is quite as stealthy, despite the red of his costume.
And the JL, even the 'families' they came from, know that they have the ability to appear normal. To blend with the rest of the League, but the longer they're with their Bats the more cryptid they become. Until Flash finds himself unsettled by Wally in the same way as the other Bats. And Big Boy Blue refuses to train with Kon for a different reason than before, no longer because of the clone thing but for the same reason he avoids training with any of the Bats. And Green Arrow finds himself looking over his shoulder for Bruce and Roy on the Watchtower.
And their secrets are more and civi identities locked down. No names in my the field and they never slip these days. Like any good Bat.
New Leaguers meet these converts and can't tell the difference between the Bats Batman chose and the ones the other Bats brought into the fam.
And the rest of the League starts to wonder: is being a Bat contagious?
Some random kid in a red hoodie (Billy) absolutely bolting past Flash: AAAAAA-
A bunch of JL members running after him: *confused yelling and questions being shouted at the kid*
Flash: *long sip from his coffee*
Flash: I feel like I should be doing something⌠I just canât put my finger on whatâŚ
Captain Marvel in the Watchtower rec room.
Green Lantern (Hal) & Flash: *giggling at something on GLâs phone*
Audio coming from the phone: *bang*âOw!ââ*clang* âOuch!ââ*thump* âack!ââ*thud*âOw âŚI think that left a dentâŚâ
Captain Marvel, clearly annoyed: âyouâre really watching that again?â
Green Lantern: âsorry dude! Itâs just so funny!â
Captain Marvel: *turns around to walk out the room but bangs his head on the top of the door frame*
Flash: *falls out of his chair laughing*
Okay but some in the JL has definitely gone through the Watchtower security cam footage and made a compilation video of Captain Marvel banging his head on the top of a doorway.
And Iâm pretty sure we all know that he must do that a lot.