Bpd Thoughts - Blog Posts

Just dissociating after crying and spiralling for losing a bunch of hair, courtesy of my antidepressant and lack of self care. Enough living for today.

I belong to none,

not these extended hands,

the rosey skies,

or the bloodied battlegrounds in my name.

I belong to none other than myself

but know not which one in particular

I may not love myself on most days

but I definitely would not let you either.

How do I make someone understand

just how much I have to fight everyday?

That I'm perpetually at war with my brain

that I don't let myself lean on anyone but myself

even if it makes the fire harder to extinguish

but isn't that what I really want?

To burn and burn

and burn.

On nights like this, I try to remember to be kinder to myself even if that kindness feels so wrong.

I know no one

and

I do not know myself.

someone please see i’m struggling and be gentle to me!!! wipe the blood from my skin, hold me, kiss me, comfort me until i feel like something, until i feel like i’m worth existing

I’m so full of sadness

I wish I was better at letting go of things, people, memories. I want to learn how. I keep hurting myself by falling in love with the idea of people and not their true character. I’m tired of being a stupid naive girl. I just have so much empathy for everyone and everybody deserves a fresh start, trust and a chance. Ugh. I’m too sweet and gentle for this place we call Earth or at least the Earth I have experienced.

ACTUALLY being stuck and having NO solution but suicide is so unbearably cruel

Just returned from an 5 hours walk. Every sounds makes me want to hurt myself. My parents just existing next room is torture. I wish to binge or blow my brains out, preferably both. Sadly I can't do either.

I wish they stopped talking, but I also feel so quilty that them just existing makes me so irritated and triggered. I wish I couldn't hear or feel anything at the moment.

No joke, this is what living with BPD is like

"SURVIVING"

bought 💖

dating only rich playboys my whole life probably had caused me permanent brain damage

growing up as the ugly girl maybe had affected me way down too much

i don't really ever talk about relationship problems its always so personal my boyfriend is so good with words but wow 🙁

idk what to even say or think or anything

he doesn't even know about the really bad things about me too ☹️☹️☹️

he went back to being sweet and everything but I don't know what to do about it at all

PLEASEEE HELP ME

how can I tell if I have bipolar disorder

I reeeeallly think so but It feels fake because I haven't been diagnosed. I've read about symptoms and everything but idkkkk I get so unstable and then I'm fine idk what to do and I don't know if I should get diagnosed because then my mom would know and I'd have to take meds and I don't want that

Idk I like the picture

how do you break up with someone that you love

school started but I'm actually feeling kind of alright??? wtf is going on

idk if I wanna rip my brain out of my head or my heart out of my chest first

sometimes all you can do is accept your inner void

filter: slicing tearing box cutter stabbing

filter: die

filter: die

filter: die