Divus Crewel - Blog Posts

Homewrecker, husband-stealer villainess!

Idia is not going anywhere, you hear me?! You might be happy being the other woman, but I'm not happy with the pair of horns!

NOTE: I only write for female Reader, but everyone is welcome to read!

Inspired by @adrianasunderworld in this funny as hell post.

THIS HAS A SEQUEL! What if we fake married for real? (⁠ʃ⁠ƪ⁠＾⁠3⁠＾) ~★

"To give someone a pair of horns" is to cheat on them. Also, Rook gets involved because he'd absolutely adore to be part of the drama.

— (⁠╬⁠☉⁠д⁠⊙⁠)⁠⊰⁠⊹ฺ

Idia knows he's not frozen like the others, but honestly, he feels like it. He feels like even his lungs, even his heart has stopped. All because of this cute-faced npc who forced her way into a romance route with him. If he could think about it, he'd think about that horror game with the same story, but right now his mind is blank.

He has reached the point of no return. Actually dying would just reinforce his fate.

Or, at least, is what he thought. Almost as if answering to his thoughts, there's a loud noise coming from the other side of the doors, followed by footsteps.

Then the doors are thrown open by none other than (Y/N), the Ramshackle Housewarden that the school affectionately tends to call "Prefect".

She's dressed to the nines in a breathtaking wedding gown, the skirt pooling around her like God-Tier CGI, the blue accents contrasting beautifully with the pearly white of the dress, the blue roses decorating her head in a crown making her look like Persephone herself. She'd look perfect, if it weren't for the tear streaks her make-up left behind.

Wait. Tear streaks?

The silence breaks with the Prefects loud, shrill screech, a sound no one has ever thought she, the usually soft spoken and gentle Prefect, would be capable of.

"HOMEWRECKER!"

Without stopping to breath, she walks forwards, looking angrier and angrier each step taken.

"How dare you, you conniving bitch?! How dare you steal my groom! ON OUR WEDDING DAY?!" she screams at Eliza, stopping in the middle of the way to point at... at Idia himself?! "And you! You good-for-nothing two-timer! How dare you leave me waiting at the altar?!"

"Young man, I am terribly disappointed!" Professor Crewel chides from behind her, and Idia finally notices the group that actually came in with her. "I did not give you permission to marry my daughter, my first and only daughter, for you to break her heart on her happiest day!"

"Big brother! How could you! Think of your child!" Ortho chimes in, and if Idia hadn't built tear tracks on the boy himself, he would believe firmly in his tears. "Little Meg would be so sad if her daddy just left for another woman!"

"Idia, what is the meaning of this?!" it's Eliza's turn to screech, turning to him with fury in her eyes. Idia stutters a few random letters, trying to form words, just as confused as she is.

Until it clicks.

Right. Fake relationship. How could he forget one of the most cliche tropes in romance's history?

"I... I... t-this isn't what it looks like!" he finally manages to say, trying to look as desperate as he can, which is not hard considering what his fate is in case this plan fails. "I can explain!"

"Is it because of my past with Rook?! "

"Young man, you're still hung up on that, despite being the only man I've ever approved for my daughter?"

"What?!" someone yells in the crowd, but the man in question promptly enters the play as if he was born for this moment alone.

"Monsieur, I have told you this already, but I shall say it again! My dear dove's happiness is the most important to me! If she has chosen you, then my heart shall settle!" What the fuck, why is Rook so good at improv?

"I-I know!" calm down, Idia, think of this as a rhythm game and keep the beat going! "I don't... I don't want this, but this villainess wouldn't listen!"

"Wait, so this woman is telling the truth?!"

"This woman?! THIS WOMAN?! You mean his true bride?!" (Y/N) steps closer, fat crocodile tears rolling down her cheeks, smudging her make-up even more. "You- you- you husband-stealer! Know your place! You come into my house, you steal my groom and the father of my daughter-"

"I see no child-"

"Do you think I'd bring my child to see my husband's mistress?!"

"Big sister, calm down, think of the baby! Your stress levels are dangerously high!"

"WHAT BABY?!"

"Monsieur Shroud, if you do not fix this situation, I shall be taking my belle back! Do not worry, the children will not grow without a father!"

Twst quotes #05

Yuu: Alright, which one of us is gonna check outside?

Ace: Not it!

Deuce: Not it!

Grim: Not it!

Yuu: … None of you are as dumb as you lead on to be.

-

Yuu: ARE YOU-

Ace: Fucking.

Yuu: KIDDING ME?! YOU-

Ace: Fucking.

Yuu: IDIOT!

Leona: … What was that?

Ace: Crewel banned Yuu from swearing, so I'm helping them out.

-

Ace: Not gonna lie, I'm kind of afraid of Kalim…

Yuu: As you should be.

Ace: No, for real, he's just really-

Yuu:As. You. Should. Be.

-

Ruggie: The results are in, I'm afraid you have updog…

Leona: What's updog?

Ruggie: Jack! Get in here, I told you I could do it!

-

Yuu, grinning: I have acquired a knife!

Crewel: Put it down Yuu.

Yuu: You have magic! I have knife. Fair trade! *sprints away*

Twst quotes #04

Yuu: In terms of money, we have no money.

-

Cater: Croissants: dropped.

Kalim: Road: works ahead.

Floyd: BBQ sauce: on my titties.

Idia: Shavacado: fre.

Yuu: Miss Keisha: fuckin' dead.

Leona:

Leona: … I didn't understand a single word of that and I hate every single one of you.

-

Ace: Can you see it? Where Yuu slapped me?

Deuce: Your face looks like a don't walk signal.

Sebek: Your face looks like a photo negative for the hamburger helper box.

Jack: A palm reader could tell Yuu's future by looking at your face.

Epel: The phrase "Talk to the hand 'cause the face ain't listening" doesn't work for you, because the hand is your face.

Ace: A simple "Yes" would work.

-

Idia: We've been conducting an ongoing study to see what Grim will and will not eat.

Yuu: Grass? Yes!

Idia: Moss? Yes!!

Yuu: Leaves? Ohh, yes!

Idia: Shoelaces? Strange but true!

Yuu: Worms? Sometimes!

Idia: Normal rocks? Usually nah.

Yuu: Twigs? Usually!

Idia: Lilia's cooking? Inconclusive!

Azul: How did you… test this?

Idia: You just hand him stuff and say "Eat this" and if he eats it, he eats it.

Azul: … I don't know how to feel about this.

Ace: IS THAT WHERE ALL MY SPARE SHOELACES WENT?

-

Crowley: I still don't have a new year's resolution.

Crewel: You could take care of the overblots.

Yuu: You can get me home.

Sam: Don't be such a bitch.

Crowley: Okay DAMN, SHIT.

Twst quotes #03

Kalim: Hello, McDonald's, I would like to purchase 130 chicken nuggets. Prepare yourselves. 

-

Deuce: Good morning.

Epel: Good morning. 

Jack: Good morning. 

Crewel: You all sound like robots, try spicing it up a bit. 

Ace: MORNING MOTHERFUCKERS! 

-

Grim: Thanks for not telling Yuu what happened. 

Trey, Dumbfounded: I wouldn't even know where to begin trying to explain this. 

-

Jamil: I've never been in a snowball fight before. I don't know the rules. 

Epel: What? 

Jamil: Is there a point system, or is it to the death? 

-

Yuu: You three explain right now! 

Ace: It was Grim.

Deuce: It was Grim.

Epel: It was Grim.

Grim:

Grim: … Fuck. 

Someone: How many versions of the song "KING" (and "Queen") with Twisted wonderland characters are needed?

Youtube: Yes ^_^

To be fair, some versions of the songs sounded really cool (the version of "KING" by Maleus, Riddle and Crowley), as well as the versions of Leona and "QUEEN" by Riddle and Vil, and in some moments they will have a beautiful visual accompaniment. And yes, instead of sleeping at 1:37 a.m., I really started listening to each version in its entirety.

@deescade

1 - (Sebek) ...

2 - (Neige) That would genuinely make me a little uncomfortable. Not because I don't like him but because I don't like when people whisper to me.

3 - (Kalim) I would stop working...

4 - (Sebek) It kinda works cause I also got him for the first one.

5 - (Chenya) My baby!! Whyy lol

6 - (Leona) Guess he's not wasting time... ehhh

7 - (Deuce) Okay, that's just rude! How dare you?! >:(

8 - (Silver) That hurts my feelings, why would he do that to me... :'(

9 - (Riddle) I'd probably accidently push/hit him cause of my shock... Not the best scenario...

This is my first post and it's currently 3:50am and I can't sleep. I'm gonna do more of these!

Twisted Wonderland (How Would They: Tell You a Pick-up Line? ver.) click and drag game!

warnings: flashing images

prompt: how would these characters tell you a pick-up line?

When YOU tell them a pick-up line...

Game notes • How to Play

Please use a browser other than Google Chrome to play because the GIFs always lock onto their first frame on Chrome. Safari and Firefox work, please try those

If you're on mobile, screenshot the gifs either as a set or individually

English or Spanish 🥀🌻

Deuce: *About to pour a liquid into the cauldron*

Ace: English or Spanish?

Deuce: English

Ace: Whoever moves first is gay

Deuce:...

-----

Crewel: *Looking up to see an exploded potion then proceeds to face palm*

dyed hair :)

(read from left to right!)

- inspired from this post.