Your personal Tumblr journey starts here
"... Show a little more respect to those of fairer means."
Part 3 of my Hazbin Hotel serie
"Hi I'm Niffty ~ ! "
I’m trying to do a hyper real edit of the Stayed Gone video. If folks like it, maybe I’ll do the whole thing!
Valentino tries to touch Alastor from behind then Alastor spins around and his cane hits Val right in the head
time taken: 2hr 26min
my interpretation of human alastor!!
time taken: 2h 17min
Happy hazbin hotel day to those who celebrate (me)
Realised that I hadn't drawn my fave since the redesign and was struck with an unstoppable urge
Kings accidental consort. PT. 1 [ ? ]
Tysm to this blog for inspiring me to make an RadioApple fanfic!
“ So do you Agree on the terms. “ Lucifer affirmed, folding his arms as if saying to not agree. He and Alastor were on the patio; the only quiet place in the now bustling hotel,
“ yes yes, “ The radio demon said somewhat dismissively, “ I would only act as a parent to dear Charlie when you are not here, “ he repeated.
A sudden, odd thought came to Lucifer, “ just like divorced dads, “ he heard in his head, making him snicker slightly, Alastor tilted his head and narrowed his eyes, “ what seems to be hilarious your Majesty, surely not our agreement “ he proceeded to hold out his hand, Lucifer grasped it.
“ oh nothing, I was just thinking that this deal seems like we act like a sort of divorced couple, and how it would be funny if we were actually, truly married “ they shook hands, around them powerful rays of light signaled a deal being made by an Overlord and King.
Downstairs Charlie and Vaggie were heading to their room after letting Angel handle the new guests for a break. Suddenly, the lights darkened around them and Green light was seen, both girls knew that all too well.
“ I’m sorry but who is making a deal with Alastor? “ Charlie asked. Vaggie raised an eyebrow
“ wait didn’t your dad go up with Alastor a couple minutes ago? … oh shit, “ Vaggie muttered, she grabbed Charlie’s hand and rushed up the stairs leading to the patio where Lucifer had said he will be. The was a lot of commotion behind the closed doors, Charlie kicked it open and ready to fight.
“ -re you shitting me! What is this?! This is your fault sinner ! “ Lucifer yelled once Charlie smashed the door open, her father appeared to be wearing a wedding dress, and blushing profusely. Vaggie burst out laughing.
“ well I wasn’t the one who made a frivolous joke about being married, am I ? “ Alastor said. he seemed frustrated, but he still held his smile. He himself was wearing a black tuxedo and holding a bouquet of flowers.
As they argued, both of their hands flared around. Charlie stayed quiet, not wanting to intervene but suddenly noticed wedding bands on each of their clawed hands, putting two and two together, she gasped loudly. She started squealing making both men stop yelling to look at her,
“ oh my gosh, oh my gosh, Vaggie!! Alastor is officially my Father!! They have Ringsss! “ she said shaking her girlfriend, Tears fell from her eyes.
“ ok easy on the sparkles Hon, “ Vaggie said while being shook, she turned to the males with a questioning look,
“ did you guys seriously get married? “ Charlie ran to hug Alastor, “ NEW DAD ! “ she yelled while sobbing madly,
“ What is this? Dear this isn’t for long, His Highness messed up a deal we were making and ended up like this, “ Charlie was peeled off of his body, and her face told them she was hugely disappointed.
“ what but what kind of deal can you botch that badly to- “
“ WELL TIME TO BREAK THIS MARRIGE “ Lucifer interrupted, snapping his fingers.
The wedding garments disappeared for both, Alastor brushed his clothes, “ There you go, the deal should be of- why do I still have another ring. “ Lucifer stretched out his hand in front of him, on top of his old wedding ring that Lilith gave him, there was still the new one. Alastor looked down, he still had his on aswell.
“ Now this is particularly “ he said off handly, “ I thought you had it covered your majesty, “
“ well I do, give me a second “ Lucifer growled,
20 minutes later and everyone was in the palace with Lucifer running everywhere and looking through all the books he can find, he was muttering under his breath frantically similarly to how Charlie did when she was in a panic,
“ HOW IS THERE NOTHING ABOUT STUPID DEAL BREAKS IN THIS SHITHOLE “ Lucifer yelled out from another room and a book could be seen thrown.
“ hmmm “ Alastor hummed through his smile, he enjoyed the little one running around with tarnish, but he knew the fun couldn’t last. He he assured Charlie then went through his shadow and to where Lucifer was.
“ Your highness what seems to be the problem? “ he asked knowing full well the answer to his own question. Lucifer looked like a complete mess: both his horns and wings were out and he wore a crazed expression,
“ well, funny thing, well um- “ he stammered, then flew up and took another book out of a shelf instead of answering him.
Alastor waited for him to come down, he was like a prissy baby and currently, he knew not that Alastor could hear him from down below. The king cursed him out and his past living self. The book he previously had in his hand fell with a slam right next to Alastor, Lucifer cursed even more and flew higher, deep into the high rise library, Alastor went to pick up the book but immediately dropped it when it burned his skin through his gloves.
It was a holy book, ‘ Deals With The Unholy ‘ it was called. All around Alastor was holy books similar to that.
Finally, Lucifer calmed down slightly and flew back to where Alastor was, he was panting heavily.
“ finally calmed down? “ the Sinner rejoiced, his smiled sickened Lucifer, “ I see you don’t got this handled, “ the King rolled his eyes,
“ looks like apparently once a deal is made it can never be broken until it ends, but we never put a deadline, so it’s not possible… but I swear I had saw something about breaking a deal somewhere! “ he said with a pout, Alastor laughed slightly.
“ well I suggest we go ahead and tell our daughter that becuase she is currently worried about you. “ Alastor said smoothly,
“ she worried about me ? “ Lucifer said excitedly, then clearing his throat embarrassed when he saw Alastors face.
“ what do you mean, ‘ our duaghter ‘ she’s my duaghter not yours “ he growled. Alastor laughed,
“ Well this ring says otherwise, so until we find out a way to break this frivolous deal, we are officially married so she is indeed my duaghter. “ Lucifer narrowed his eyes but didn’t say anything, “ go along now darling, please tend to OUR daughter “ The short king muttered angerly as he left, not waiting for him.
Alastor waited for him to close the door. The sound of a Wendigo could be heard from him.
he held his hand with his wedding band out, from it, sparks came from it and suddenly a book appeared in his hand. He reading for a brief moment before shutting and burning it.
“ A slight mishap that I could use, maybe being married isn’t such a bad thing “ Alastor started laughing, he continued on as he went through the shadows…
TBC [ ? ]
I FULLY support Alastor being his iconic ACE self, but please, for the love of Lucifer… Let me find this cute af- Let me like the Radioapple content, knowing it's def not gonna be a thing, but I just like Rivalry dynamics (such as BkDk) I JUST THINK IT'S REALLY CUTE WHEN THEY FIGHT AND ALL BUT THEN MAKE UP BC THEY JUST LOVE EACH OTHER SM… (and my parents imposed a big part of that liking… They don't usually fight, but they did sometimes, made up and loved each other til this day.)
By The Sea | [RadioApple🍎📻] Hazbin Hotel ANIMATIC - Kee_N0H
Sorry not sorry, but Alastor's last line in "Alastor vs Vox" is WAY more scary in french than in english. Like my french bro wasn't holding back
Back to my old Hazbin Hotel Phase. I made Human! Characters. For Valentino, I have to take my own spin on it. (Yes I made him into a African American, Fight me) I hope you like them
I've got a whole concept idea for how Alastor time-traveled to early 1910s New Orleans and how he trapped Tom Riddle as his shadow- but that's a separate post entirely. This is about what happens if they get de-aged in Hell following their retreat from Adam. Because I want to see the Hazbin crew's reaction to Harry and Tom.
----
When Adam slashed him with his guitar, it purified both Alastor and his shadow to an age when they were still innocent.
Alastor, Harry, to age 11 -- moments before he'd disintegrated Quirrell to death.
Voldemort, Tom, to age 10 -- days before he led his fellow orphans into a cave to torture them.
They awaken in a crumbling radio tower covered in blood and a broken radio staff clutched in Harry's hands.
Tom, being raised Catholic and carrying all the trauma that comes with being able to talk to snakes from a young age, is the most terrified.
Harry still hopped up on the adrenaline of facing his parent's murderer from what he believes is only minutes before, manages to hear the creaking of the radio tower and get them out before it fully collapses.
They wander Hell and quickly come across various demons, all of which have nefarious intentions. They try to escape but even with magic there's only so much 2 human children can do against demons until-
"HEY!" Something hits the back of a hellhound's head, knocking him out and giving Harry the chance to run to stand in front of Tom.
They both look warily at their savior: a tall heavy-set demon with imp-like horns and bat-wings. In his hand was the broken guitar he'd used to smash over the hellhound's head. He looked angry.
"BITCH! You owe me a new guitar!"
----
Adam sees these kids and assumes they're the reason he's in hell. That he has to save them and then he can return to heaven - how else would 2 human children who reminded him of his own just happen to wander into his path?
So he takes them in and re-learns what it means to be a father responsible and care have empathy for his descendants. He meets other sinners who are not the worst and it makes him feel guilty confused.
For 3 months, he tries to find a way to get these 2 children back to the human world. They're both so bright and kind but absolutely fucking traumatized. He's going to have to find them better parents when he takes them back because they were under no circumstances going back to whoever they were with before.
Everyday he's with them, the kids open up just a bit more. What does it say about their homelives that they feel more comfortable in Hell living with what they think is a demon? They have so much potential like Abel and capacity for goodness like Cain before he-.
He tries -oh god how he fucking tries- to get them out of this hell-hole, but eventually he has to man up and ask for help.
HA! Sike. No, he obviously was supposed to demand Lucifer send them back. After all, it must've been his fuck-up that got these kids stuck here so it was his responsibility to fix it. Not Adam's!
Yeah that sounded right.
He marches up to the Hazbin Hotel with the kids behind him he wasn't scared shut up and knocks on the door.
----
Lucifer contacts Ozzie to open a portal.
Problem #1 The moment Harry touches the tear in realities, he hits a brick-wall. Or at least what feels like one. The portal is nothing more than a 2-way mirror for him. He can see but not cross-over.
Problem #2 Lucifer takes a closer look and realizes that their souls are already marked for Hell. But they're full of holy energy even after 3 months.
Adam refuses to believe this and demands to talk with Heaven.
Problem #3 ...No one has heard from Heaven since the failed Extermination.
----
Adam stays at the Hotel since it's safer for the kids cheaper than renting his overpriced studio apartment that smells like piss and cheese. Niffty fucking hates him though, he hurt her favorite bad boy! He's not dead she would feel it but he's gone again because of him!
Over the next 3 months, the kids grow. Not normally though, every time they make even a minor sin, they age rapidly before Adam's eyes. Sometimes he swears their nails seem claw-like, their teeth sharper when they smile, and their eyes seem to glow when he's looking out of the corner of his eye.
They eventually get in contact with Emily who first informs them that Sir Pentious was redeemed. She then takes a look at the kids with Lucifer. They discover that the children had been de-aged to a period of innocence due to the holy-light that had flooded them.
Lucifer tells Adam it was likely his holy-light wave that sliced the hotel in half that did the deed. They must've gotten caught too close to the blast-radius.
They hypothesize from their rapid age growth and behavior, that sinning will eventually revert the children back to their original demon forms.
And Adam-
Adam, for once in his immortal life, refuses to give up on his children.
Lilith x Alastor x Lucifer
Most humans buy a Ferrari or go on a vacation when they enter a mid-life crisis.
Lilith is no longer human and very immortal but she doesn't know how else to label her impulsive decision to befriend the recently deceased feral deer tearing though Pride like tissue paper.
----
Lilith was tired.
Eternity takes a toll. And after countless years singing like a caged bird and keeping spirits high, she had begun to loose her passion. There was only so long she could look past the hopelessness of her surroundings.
And then the Radio Demon arrived.
He wasn't particularly special all things considered. If she wasn't in such a dire mood, if Lucifer wouldn't stop closing himself off from her, if Charlie wasn't going through puberty and making it everyone's problem-
Well, she probably wouldn't have even noticed him.
--
Lilith becomes not quite friends with Alastor and his passion and love for hell reignites her own. Over the decades she finds that she cares for this idiotic sinner more than she ever would have expected.
Her love for Lucifer had been quick and all-consuming. Her love for her daughter had been just as instantaneous. She didn't know how to deal with love that crept up on her like a weed and took decades to bloom.
...Maybe she should take that vacation after all.
--
Prequel to Canon with Lilith and Canon to Season 1 for Lucifer.
Somehow these two jaded biblical lovers come to love this crazy sinner at very different points in time. And he somehow manages to help them become closer to each other and re-learn to love the humanity that had initially doomed them. Here's to hoping the consequences of bringing him into the relationship isn't as damning as theirs was.
after Lucifer and Alastor start to get along
Lucifer: A year ago today I married my best friend
Charlie: Aww that's so sweet- wait haven't you and mom been married for centuries?
Alastor, popping up from the shadows and showing off a ring: Your mother was very cross.
Lucifer, showing his two rings: We were drunk and it was hilarious!
During an Overlord Meeting
Random Overlord: So how'd you bag the King of Hell?
Alastor: Well I-
Lucifer: The first time we met he told me to go fuck myself and dropped a piano on my head
Other Overlords: ...
Lucifer: I've been charmed by his audacity ever since
I don't think I've read a single fic where Alastor and Lucifer get together because they make each other laugh. I need to see them being cringey old-ass qpr pals with combined -1000 rizz somehow charming the other by having horrible taste in humor.
-------
No one remembers who started it but hardly a day can go by without Alastor and Lucifer trading dad jokes back and forth like a hot potato.
As soon as one catches sight of the other BOOM cringe-ass pun and without fail the other will burst into uncontrollable laughter.
And the jokes are bad. Like really bad. Not even Charlie can find the silver-lining (and she has tried). Listening to them laugh at those truly horrible jokes sparks an avalanche of second-hand embarrassment on the part of everyone within ear shot.
It eventually gets to the point that just looking at each other triggers a Pavlovian response where they just giggle and wheeze before the other can even tell a joke.
----------
Someone: Really? You want to be with that guy?
Alastor or Lucifer: He makes me laugh :)
I saw a post of someone making fun of Alastor's undercut but it just made me think. I have curly hair, and once I brush it out it's thick and fluffy af. I have an undercut too and my hair still fluffs up away from my skull at absurd degrees!
The fact that Alastor's hair is still so fluffy even (especially) with the undercut is a point in favor of him having curls. Bro just straightens the hell out of it.
In conclusion, I need curly haired Alastor fics and fanart desperately.
WARNING: period-typical racism, WW1, race-based murder
I see a lot of fics where Alastor's dad is a piece of shit and abusive, but I'd love to see one where Al's dad actually loves and cares for his family but was taken from them when Alastor was too young to remember much about him.
Maybe he died as a soldier in WW1 or made it back to the US only to be killed some other way. If he was black, then those odds go way up unfortunately.
We don't know much about Al's parents but if it's still canon that he's creole, then that means at least one of his parents has black ancestry. A lot of the fics I've seen give him a black mom/white dad, but I think it would be interesting if both his parents were mixed too.
Anyway, what I'm getting at is if Al's dad was killed when he was still little, then they wouldn't recognize each other in hell now would they?
Al's dad sure does love his family, but everyone else can fuck off. And ooh boi did he earn his place in hell trying to protect them, not that heaven cared about his motives.
The second he finds out Alastor the Radio Demon is his baby boy? Hell hath no fury like a protective parent. He doesn't give a flying fuck about the atrocities Alastor has caused, that's his baby and no one is going to hurt him while he's not double-dead.
Vox is attempting to sell the benefits of advancing technology to Alastor for the umpteenth time, either genuinely or patronizingly, when Alastor sees it.
The second greatest piece of technology he's ever laid eyes on.
He interrupts Vox in the middle of his tirade and zips up to it and is absolutely tickled pink by its creepiness and charming exterior.
Alastor, trying not to sound excited: And what's this delightful little thing?
Vox: Oh that's a Furby, a creepy kids toy up top, we're thinking of scrapping it actually-
Alastor: Oh? Then maybe I can take them off your hands.
Time skip to a few months later, Alastor and Vox are having another battle (duet) when Alastor manifests a new instrument Vox has never seen him play before made up of-
Oh no. no. no. nononono. NO.
A fucking Furby Organ!?
"So are ALL of your friends woman?"
Alastor looks up from his book and tilted his head at Angel, briefly dislodging Nifty who was crafting him a new King Roach 2.0 crown.
"Whatever do you mean my good fellow? Husker's right behind you!"
Husk scowled and pointedly flipped him off while drinking straight from a bottle of vodka.
Angel patted his paw and took the bottle away with his other hand. "I mean a guy you don't have on your pay role."
Alastor hummed, "Woman are much better conversation partners. Witty, charming, and full of pizazz! Men just can't compare."
Vaggie poked her head into the room, and hearing this, grunted in agreement, "For once, can't say I disagree with you."
Angel exaggeratedly placed his hand over his heart and gasped like he'd been betrayed.
Lucifer was a bit suspicious, "You know, that sounds like something you'd say to describe yourself."
Nifty finished the crown and bestowed it upon Alastor with a flourish and a bow. He gave Lucifer a mocking smile, "I'm flattered you think so, I'd only be so fortunate."
Angel stopped antagonizing Vaggie and jokingly said, "to be a woman?"
Alastor laughed, this time like Angel had said something absurdly obvious, "Well yes, wouldn't everyone?"
Continuation of this post
A snake demon ascended to heaven, it's only fair that it's the first man that proves souls in heaven could also fall.
But of course, that wasn't quite correct.
Just like with the apple in Eden, it was Eve who had first eagerly jumped headfirst into sin. Consuming the apple and making a deal for access to hell; never thinking of the consequences.
That's how Adam thought of it in his more narcissistic moods. But in his fleeting self-reflective moments, he admitted that it was because she was more courageous, confident, and charming than he ever could be. And he loved her for it in the same measure that it made him insecure.
There was a reason both the women made for him had a personality that shown brighter than the light-bringer himself.
Eve did as she pleased, giving zero fucks about how others perceived her. When they'd both reunited in heaven, Adam observed how the angels saw Eve, they watched her like she was an equal. He was a joke to them, the second human to eat from the apple.
And now the second former angelic human soul to fall. What a fucking joke.
Oh 100%
you know what I'm gonna push for my "Alastor is Eve" headcanon bc even tho it will literally never happen, it's so fucking funny
and actually an interesting concept to explore?
but mostly bc it's funny, I'm gonna answer every mystery about Alastor with "oh that's just bc he's Eve"
why is he so powerful? Eve
why does he have beef with Lucifer even tho they're supposed to have never meet before? Eve
why is he trying to parent Charlie? Eve
episode 8? Eve
everything is possible until we actually see her in canon and I'm going to have fun with this
Okay so we all know Alastor absolutely LOST that fight with Adam but can we appreciate the fact that Adam was forced to show more of his power and stop joking around in order to land a single blow?
And keep in mind, this dude not only killed Pentious but disintegrated him, the egg bois, and his entire fucking ship in the blink of an eye.
Meanwhile Alastor DOESN'T get ripped in half by a direct hit from Adam, DOES manage to escape, AND manages to heal himself or at least block the pain enough to pretend like nothing happened later when he meets back up with the Hazbin crew.
I know we like to make fun of him, man absolutely deserves to be humbled but this shit is still impressive.
On a less serious note, Vox is an unrepentant simp and when all of Hell finds out Alastor was Eve, he is practically foaming at the mouth.
Vox, ecstatic: To think Alastor was the first woman! The mother of all humanity!
Valentino, teasing: To think Vox has a mommy kink.
Velvette, done with both of them: Says the man writing a B-movie script about Eve right now.
*He/she/they pronouns for Eve
Eve was bored. Heaven's wonders could only entertain her for so long. And she was sick of the pity and condescension.
For all that Lucifer was damned to the hell he created for his actions, he at least had Lilith with him to bare the burden.
She was not so lucky. Adam would sooner die a second death than take accountability. And the angels regarded her alone with mixed pity and suspicion.
Adam thrived in heaven, but it stifled her like nothing else. Eternal peace was stagnant; she missed Earth and eagerly watched the planet and her descendents antics with curiosity.
It was her who first put forth the idea of reincarnation. But Sera, bewildered by her desire to leave heaven and wary of having her alive after her first fuckup (honestly, eat one fruit and they never let you forget it!), dismissed her.
It was just her luck that Adam, who ran his mouth faster than his brain could keep up, bragged about getting the Seraphim to agree to his yearly hell extermination where her request had been rejected.
And wasn't it just grand that it was supposed to be a secret? Wouldn't it be a shame for that to get out, right, Sera?
Her reincarnation request was approved. She was the first and only soul to be granted this. Per her request, heaven would be barred from viewing or interfering with her new life.
And it was wonderful! They had a new life, a new name, a new gender! And no one to hold them back and say 'remember the apple, Eve?'
Then they died. And back to heaven they went, unknowing of their past life as Eve. Until Sera accousted them before they'd even made it through the gate.
Sera conjured a glowing white apple and offered it to them. Their curiosity had followed them to this next life so they accepted and the Seraphim smiled sardonically and said, 'Welcome back Eve.'
But they. weren't. EVE! Not anymore. Or at least they were not JUST eve.
But being the only soul to reincarnate, the angels just didn't understand that. Nor would Sera care to, she allowed Adam and Eve's requests only if she could ignore the consequences.
The human who once was Eve, decided to reincarnate again. Anything to escape their dreary eternity in heaven.
And then he died. And Sera offered him the apple, said, 'Welcome back Eve' and on and on the cycle continued.
He tried to lead his next few lifetimes into sin, maybe in hell they'd get at least some of the excitement she'd loved from Earth.
She had no clue how she kept getting into heaven. Over the course of several different lives, they'd committed all sorts of sins. And yet it never stuck.
So they struck a deal, and in his next life, she finally got what she'd been craving.
Eternal Entertainment.
Welcome to hell, Alastor.
When Alastor begrudgingly tells Charlie and Vaggie about the deal he's been tangled up in, they ask him how it had happened.
"Why, I was apparently very desperate in my last life! Now it's me who has to pay the price!"
Charlie gives him a very confused look, "You mean, when you were alive?"
What a hilarious misunderstanding! "Oh no darling, I mean in a past life! Reincarnation! Who knew deals from a past life could follow you into the next? Certainly not me!"
Charlie still looked confused. It was Vaggie, staring at him like he'd said something peculiar, who said, "There's no such thing as reincarnation, that's just a myth humans made."
Well, he had a very irksome leash caging him down that said otherwise.
*He/she/they pronouns for Eve
Eve was bored. Heaven's wonders could only entertain her for so long. And she was sick of the pity and condescension.
For all that Lucifer was damned to the hell he created for his actions, he at least had Lilith with him to bare the burden.
She was not so lucky. Adam would sooner die a second death than take accountability. And the angels regarded her alone with mixed pity and suspicion.
Adam thrived in heaven, but it stifled her like nothing else. Eternal peace was stagnant; she missed Earth and eagerly watched the planet and her descendents antics with curiosity.
It was her who first put forth the idea of reincarnation. But Sera, bewildered by her desire to leave heaven and wary of having her alive after her first fuckup (honestly, eat one fruit and they never let you forget it!), dismissed her.
It was just her luck that Adam, who ran his mouth faster than his brain could keep up, bragged about getting the Seraphim to agree to his yearly hell extermination where her request had been rejected.
And wasn't it just grand that it was supposed to be a secret? Wouldn't it be a shame for that to get out, right, Sera?
Her reincarnation request was approved. She was the first and only soul to be granted this. Per her request, heaven would be barred from viewing or interfering with her new life.
And it was wonderful! They had a new life, a new name, a new gender! And no one to hold them back and say 'remember the apple, Eve?'
Then they died. And back to heaven they went, unknowing of their past life as Eve. Until Sera accousted them before they'd even made it through the gate.
Sera conjured a glowing white apple and offered it to them. Their curiosity had followed them to this next life so they accepted and the Seraphim smiled sardonically and said, 'Welcome back Eve.'
But they. weren't. EVE! Not anymore. Or at least they were not JUST eve.
But being the only soul to reincarnate, the angels just didn't understand that. Nor would Sera care to, she allowed Adam and Eve's requests only if she could ignore the consequences.
The human who once was Eve, decided to reincarnate again. Anything to escape their dreary eternity in heaven.
And then he died. And Sera offered him the apple, said, 'Welcome back Eve' and on and on the cycle continued.
He tried to lead his next few lifetimes into sin, maybe in hell they'd get at least some of the excitement she'd loved from Earth.
She had no clue how she kept getting into heaven. Over the course of several different lives, they'd committed all sorts of sins. And yet it never stuck.
So they struck a deal, and in his next life, she finally got what she'd been craving.
Eternal Entertainment.
Welcome to hell, Alastor.