Your personal Tumblr journey starts here
Heyyy :) I was wondering if I could request a Diluc x gn reader where Diluc sees readers OLD self harm scars while they are like doing the dishes or sumn. Totally no pressure or anything, and I’m sorry if this makes you uncomfortable
^ anon, you should be very proud of yourself for overcoming your self-harm. No one but you can understand what it took for you to get to where you are. I don’t know what went on or what’s happening with you now, I just hope that you are happy and doing things that keep you safe!
If you read this, and you need a reminder -> please know that there are so many ways to deal with the pain - some can be helpful, and some (while seeming helpful) can be harmful. I’m not qualified to tell you what to do, all I can tell you is that you have more capabilities to overcome something than you know - be proud of your growth and keep fighting every day 💗💗
Moving Forward
Warning -> mentions of past self-harm (potential trigger warning!), hurt, anxiety
Includes: Diluc
Character x GN reader | Anthology
(potential trigger warning)*
Diluc always wondered why you wore clothes that covered your arms, and, even on hot days, you wore things that would completely cover you. He also was prone to wearing long clothes, so he didn’t pay too much attention to it, really - maybe you were cold?
The first time he caught a glimpse of your arms was when you were helping clear out the weeds around the vineyard. You had pulled your sleeve up your arm and wiped the sweat from your forehead
He’d seen scars on people - especially those in the adventurers guild or the knight's order, but yours seems to be strange. They were uniform and only on one side of your arm instead of places where a normal blade might cut
The second time he saw them you were helping out the owners of the Floral Whisper. They were trying to set up their displays for the day and had grabbed you as you walked by. Again, he noticed the scars, but this time on your other arm - their same strangely uniform placement
The third time - he asked you about them
“Hey, I’ve almost got all of this put-away, can you let them know they should be ready in a few minutes.” You lifted the final crate of wine bottles onto the cart and slid them against the others. There was a satisfying sound as they slipped into place.
The warm sun had started to heat up your shirt and you wanted to cool off. You made your way to the back of the winery and pumped the water from the reservoir. The cold water felt good on your hands. Slowly, you rolled up your sleeves before you cupped the water in your palms and threw it over your face. It was so refreshing, especially after all the work you got done that morning.
“Dang it.” You expressed, your eyes closed and filled with water. You had forgotten to grab a towel, and even though you could brush the water from your face, you wished there was a way to dry off.
“Here.” You hear a voice next to you and feel fabric rub against your face.
“Ah, thanks!” You take the towel in your hands and dab the water off your skin, your neck, and your arms. “Oh, I thought that was you, Diluc.”
“I saw you head this way.”
“Yeah, I needed to cool off. Thanks for this.” You gesture with the towel before draping it over the spigot. You were about to head back to make sure everything was in order when he grabbed onto your wrist. “Uh?”
“I’ve noticed these several times now, and I am curious as to how you got them.” He held your wrist up to the sunlight, and your stomach drops.
Desperately, you try to come up with an excuse. “Oh … uh, these are from fighting slimes by the river.”
“You know I can’t believe that.” He doesn’t let go of your wrist.
You wish he would just leave it alone. You pry his fingers from you and quickly pull down your sleeves. “Just don’t worry about it. It’s not that big of a deal.”
“Then why are you lying to me?” His eyes bore into you, they are heavy and you wonder why there isn’t more air outside.
“I’m … not really. It’s just you don’t need to concern yourself.” You try to play it off. You let out a little laugh as if it really is just a simple thing.
“Fine.” His tone is sharp and you knew your attempt to lighten the mood failed. He walks off and the pit in your stomach grows bigger. You chase after him. When you catch up you place your hands against his chest and stop him from moving. The two of you stand by the rock barrier separating the winery from the road.
“Hold on … I know you’re irritated.”
“Why would I be? This doesn’t concern me, does it.” Again, his words hit your heart and sink into the dark pit.
“I’m sorry. It’s just, I haven’t talked about this with anyone in a long time. I didn’t think …” you’re trying to find the words to explain, it’s all just very hard.
“You didn’t think I could care?”
“No …”
“You didn’t think I would understand?”
“No, I don’t know. Hold on.” You push your hands against his chest to press the point you need him to stop. “Look, I want to explain to you, but you have to know that this was something I did a long time ago. I don’t … I don’t do this now.”
He just stares at you.
“A long time ago I was really struggling. I needed to figure out some things and it was all just so much to bear. So,” You roll up your sleeves and show him your arms. The light warms your skin and reminds you that these scars, while always there, had healed a long time ago. “I felt like this was the only thing that alleviated everything that was building up. Like they released the hurt. Do you understand?”
You look at him with a pained expression. You want him to understand you. You want him to see that you are better now and that these things don’t define you. When he doesn’t say anything you return your gaze to your arms and back to the scars.
When you see Diluc’s hands covering them, you look back at his face. He is giving you such a soft, compassionate expression.
“I know what it feels like to be in pain. To want to block it all out and find some way to break through it. I understand.” He tracks your gaze as he speaks, if you look down, he dips his head, if you look away he pulls you back. “Thank you, for telling me.”
“Mhm,” you respond, giving him a small smile.
“And you don’t feel the need to do this anymore?”
“No. Like I said, I found other ways to cope.”
“Good.” He wrapped you in his arms, not caring at this moment if others saw you. He just wanted you to know you weren’t alone.
“I will be here if things ever become painful again. Don’t forget that.”
“I won’t. Thank you, Diluc.”
Now that he knows, he doesn’t pay them any attention. He doesn’t linger on them, he doesn’t kiss them more than he would any other part of your body
He doesn’t bring them up
He doesn’t want you to feel reminded of your past, instead, he wants you to look forward to your future
IF you want to chat - you can let me know - here is another good resource