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So, I've had the most roller-coaster of a ride with religion. At this point, I just don't care. They're all real. They're all there in the world, and when you die, you go to where you believe. Because I've had enough about religion because there's too many in the world and it's confusing.
But that's not the point. So I decided to put up my Hades, Aphrodite, Loki, Apollo, and Hermes alters up.
Before I decided to do that, I brought some 18+ dice for some fun, and just why not, and that was before I decided to put the alters back up.
Explain to me... why I felt drawn to giving Loki those dice, with the explanation of how to use those dice on his alter with three fidget toys near it and a (porcelain?) goose with its head smashed??? He/They/She/It (whatever Loki identities as) is really showing their chaos already!
So Loki's original candle that I had for him was very small (as it has melted obviously) and I felt bad seeing it two days ago? So I told him I would get him a new candle, I did, and his flame on the candle was incredibly small. It was barely there, so I was freaking out. I was asking him if he was okay, if he had a bad day. (Loki and Hekate don't really do any communication with me it's more if I feel drawn to something or a yes/no, which pops up in my head). I did a drawing of him and wrote a small prayer on that drawing for him, hoping he'll like it and his flame would go up. It didn't for the record.
Then I put the original candle back, deciding he might want it back, and his flame was still small. After some time later I told him that if he's had a bad day, I hope tomorrow will be better for him and that if I had offended/hurt/upset/insulted him without realising I do apologise as that is never my intention.
I thought 'Loki if you forgive me, please give me a sign,' but then I realised he doesn't HAVE to forgive me if it was my fault. He could have just had a bad day for all I know. But he doesn't have to forgive me. He can just accept what happened and move on, and that's okay. One of the first things I have told him was 'I'm not going to force you to do anything', and I'm still going by that.
Anyone else just makes a shrine/alter for deities than just meditate or do tarot cards than play music for a few minutes for them and just chill with them but don't work with them? But that's what I do and it's quite relaxing I think.