My Thoughts - Blog Posts

My thoughts on why Ash didn’t get help after he was stabbed (TW: mentions of unaliving self, seggsual abuse)

I think Ash had wanted to die for a very long time, although there’s no indication that Ash has self-harmed(I only watched the anime) whenever his loved ones is put in danger, he doesn’t hesitate to sacrifice himself, and I think one of the reasons for that(besides him caring deeply for them) is he is suicidal, cuz ever since he was a child, he was sexually abused and taken advantage of by sick perverted men. 

Spending time with Eiji did give him comfort and but his whole life he was abused, manipulated and raped, over and over, I’m no therapist but I’m pretty sure Ash isn’t mentally stable after going through all of that, and I think it takes more than a caring, loving and selfless person to heal Ash’s wounds. (I’m not saying Eiji didn’t change Ash’s life, Ash loved Eiji for sure) Eiji did give him hope in living so I think that’s why Ash rushed to the airport when he saw the ticket, in that moment, he did want to spend his life with Eiji. 

Sadly, he was stabbed, and I think that triggered Ash’s suicidal thoughts, cuz come on, that stab wound was treatable. Ash survived a gunshot wound before, stab wound is no big deal for him. My theory is while he was running, he was imagining the life he could have with Eiji in Japan, but *STAB*   

He was brought back to reality, and he was reminded of the countless people he’s killed and that died for him. He’s being chased by police, gangs, criminals, and Lao is only one of them, What if those people would chase him even when he’s in Japan with Eiji? Will they easily give up just because he’s travelled to another country? What if his friends he’ll leave behind get hurt and held hostage by the gangs, then demand Ash to return? Will he be able to move on and start a brand new life with Eiji in Japan happily? 

Bleeding, he finally decided to give in to his suicidal thoughts. He chose to not get help and bleed to death. 

ok here’s why I think suicidal thoughts is what drove him to do that. First of all, he could’ve gotten some help and STAY, Eiji wasn’t forcing him to live with him, Ash could’ve be like, “Yeah, I can’t live with you, but you can come visit me from time to time, ok? love you” that way he protects his gang friends, and Eiji is in a safe country so no need to worry for him. 

Ash was an insecure, suicidal, traumatized poor boy.

So yeah, this is my theory, and I don’t blame anyone for the outcome of the story no matter how sad it is, because they all had their reasons. 

I find it poetic that I can know someone better than they know yourself just by reading their stories they will put in their character like making coffee and they will use how they like it I want to know how you prefer your cream or sugar in it I want to know if you like it black you like it better I want to know if you put something horrendous in it that only you would find enjoyable I find that really interesting that I can know these little details about you and no one else but you or people who read your story know for example I will always put my favorite character or my characters with fluffy hair and getting so mad that it never looks correct because that's what I do it's my hair never looks good it's always frizzy or not curly like it should be day and I will never know how to do it properly it's like telling secrets to the universe I may die you may die but little quirks like that will live on and I think about that a lot but I like it

I wish humans could vibrate when we're really stressed to relieve pressure. Like, you know when you're feeling really anxious and you really want to scream but you can't because you're in a public place and the inability to express your stress makes or remove yourself from the situation causes more stress? All of this could be solved if we could shake ourselves so hard that we forgot what was making us anxious for a precious thirty seconds.

These are pretty good choices. I will say I avoided cat because I wanted to pick creatures different from the current bishops. Since Narinder is already a cat, wanted to go a little bigger. Also avoided the Sloth cuz its a little too on the nose, ya know? lol But i do like these alot. Had to look up the Shrew and Bonobo. Pretty fitting.

In the Cotl Universe, if the 7 Deadly Sins were personified as animals, which 7 would you choose?

Think my picks would be

Pride - Lion

Greed - Crab

Lust - Rabbit

Gluttony - Pig

Envy - Dog

Wrath - Bull

Sloth - Koala

But I'm curious to hear the thoughts and ideas of others.

I started playing Our Life because... I was going through a rough time and I realized vns put a bit of spark back.

How I ended up with Our Life I can’t say with certainty but I do know it felt like fate.

I was really suffering through an identity crisis and being able to make choices that sounded like me and didn’t change the story drastically it was more for the experience than progressing forward.

I was able to find myself and truly embrace who I am. So even if it was just a game to be accepted for who I was with no pushback. It was something I desperately needed at the time.

So I want to thank Our Life, especially Cove, for getting me through that. As well as fully igniting a burning flame that even set ablaze my creativity that had been nothing more than a dying ember at that point lol

I am so grateful that I plan to get that ocean water sleeve tattoo!

So thank you GBPatch please don’t stop making games I will follow your progress even if the games take new paths you have a loyal follower!

Okay community, I want to know your origin story! ✨

So if you could, please finish this sentence:

I started playing Our Life because...

I love Fuyumi but how could she just ignore Endeavor's abuse of Shouto? Like seriously???

He isolates, beats up, and just f*cking traumatized him and Fuyumi acts like they can be a perfectly normal functioning family???

He should be begging for their forgiveness, head pushed into the ground as a puddle of tears gather, absolutely desperate for a chance.

And they should give him that chance, because everyone deserves at least that.

But he doesn't deserve their forgiveness, not yet. Because abusers don't deserve forgiveness, changed people do.

Made a horrible poem (because it isn't a poem more of a thing i wrote) about love. Here it is:

Love is a smile that lasts all day long

Because with the simple thought of you

I remember joy and warmth

Love is remembering your favorite food, flower, and color

And smiling when i see them

Because now i find you in everything

Sometimes when you laugh

I see all the other times

And i think about how much warmth and happiness

A simple sound can bring me

Sometimes days aren't simple

Sometimes we cry

But it's times like those

That make your smile afterwards

The brightest

And when i can't remember

how to smile

You remind me

If i've forgotten to eat

or take a break

You fill my heart

And when you hold my hand

And my heart

Close to yours

I feel like home

This is love

But mostly

This is you

This might change a lot of things.

Wow!

I remember someone writing that Leander is like a devil on the shoulder. He might do good, but he also has an evil side.

And This ! ha

It's just feeds to the thought!

I'm so shocked, honestly. This kind of information is what I love about fandoms. Something just laying on the open spot, but mostly no one pays attention to.

But it has meaning !

This can be such a interesting situation. And what if it also highly (or not) depends on MCs desicions? Whether we spend a lot of time with Leander, or not? What if...

What if we have to fight Leander? To get free? To get him to liste to us? Or his heart?

Aggrhrr, so many things can be thought just because of this. I need time.

This is very interesting to think about. Even if it won't be true.

Thank you for this post <3

Guys big brain moment!

I was thinking about what Vere said about Leander's Bloodhounds being the same as the Senobium with just different uniforms. Which got me thinking about what that means for Mc.

Mc is as Vere says, like him not quite a monster not quite a human, Mc holds power even if they don't know/like it. Which is why the Senobium would kill them if given the chance, they rival Vere. Even in Vere's threat at the end of his demo route, he threatens MC with his ruthless rather then his power.

So imagine Leander stumbling upon this "weapon" that could give him both the same power as the Senobium as well as a chance at taking the Senobium down. Something he and his gang definitely want if the demo is anything to go by. But If he falls in love with Mc instead of just manipulating them I can see this definitely put him in a tricky position. He would need to decide how far to go, to chain Mc up for power (something he could do as a mage, or some other magical suppressive) or betray his gang and himself in the name of humanity/love.

_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-

I also noticed Leander, despite what he says later about Mc repaying him by telling him about their curse, was always going to do something free for Mc even before he knew what the problem was. And sure you could chalk it up to the kindness of his heart or him having a special interest in Mc (and I'm sure that's what it was at first.) But giving Mc a room for free is for an undetermined amount of time is different than a simple merc job. Also It was only after he learned of Mc's curse did he offer the room despite him knowing they were a newcomers before this interaction.

So my money is on that after he learned of Mc's curse did he decide to keep them close. For what gain? I think y'all can put two and two together. He always had something to gain from MC, his kindness always calculated, Mc's value just changed.

Oh wow ...

Oh wow !

I just spend some good minutes just looking at this and taking in all the details:

The open wounds of Minos;

Faces of the poor souls - look at how scared thay are, and sorrowfull. The are two who are hugging each other. One hugging Minos'es hand, some dead, some streching from the windows to hopefully get to the corpse, others laying beside him;

The light shining onto Gabriel, making his armor shinning too.

I like this because it makes a quite an interesting picture: a monster defeated by an angel. This is obviously good, right?

But for the people - this is a tragedy. The only moment of piece they had is taken away. Some are not fully sure what is happening, some are completely struck by the presence of an angel, and others can't accept the death of Minos.

Perhaps the fear of the unkonw is also present here. They don't know what will happen now, but there is one certain thing - now thay have to suffer again for all of eternity.

This is a good piece of art. Thank you.

The Execution of King Minos ARTIST: UNKNOWN (CIRCA. 20TH-22NDc.)

💝💝💝THE USUAL SUSPECTS 💝💝💝

@rsclopez, @manymaria111, @olivia-the-weirdo, @sarcasticrandy, @royallaufeyson, @essenceinpink, @totesnothere04, @mechformers, @angel-of-silver369, @the-hufflebird-girl, @villirios, @dyingofcookies, @goddesslilithmoriarty

If you don't think that fanfic writers get attached to their commenters and repeat commenters... you're crazy.

There's people who comment on my stories, disappear for months at a time, then comment when they catch up and I almost always remember their tagnames. It means the WORLD to me as a writer to have people who comment both regularly and irregularly on my stories/oneshots/moodboards.

When you guys go away for a few weeks or months... we notice! We hope you're okay and just taking a break, and when you come back rested and excited to read more stories, we're so happy to have you back.

So yes, please comment on stories even if it's once in a blue moon. You're not annoying, you're not overbearing for multiple comments or being super excited. You're helping fuel a writer to keep writing just to see what you have to say next about the next chapter! You're doing the Lord's work with your comments!

Whether you leave a Russian novel in a comment, or just go "noice", like... it makes the writer brain go !!!!!!💞

Giving Thanks for 500+!

Holy shit I've made it to 500! Thank you to all my followers and moots! I wouldn't be here without you. I appreciate every like, reply, and reblog you so graciously send my way; truly words cannot express my gratitude in its entirety!

I would also like to give a big thank you and shout out to the following people:

@mechformers, @milknhonies, @villiansimpqueen, @loaksbitch, @starkay, @tarrynightss, @kurogxrix

You are all such amazing writers, and reading your works inspired me to take the leap and write my own! Thank you, truly, for the amazing work each and every one of you puts out. I send you much love! I hope one day you perhaps take the time to read some of my own works. Your opinions would mean the world to me! <3 I hope you guys keep continuing to bless this fandom with your presence; I am humbled in your glory.

I also want to give special thanks to the familiar faces of (sorry if I miss anyone!):

@rsclopez, @manymaria111, @olivia-the-weirdo, @sarcasticrandy, @royallaufeyson, @essenceinpink, @totesnothere04, @mechformers❤️, @angel-of-silver369, @the-hufflebird-girl, @villirios

Thank you so much to you guys! It brings a smile to my face every time I see any kind of interaction to a post from you guys!!! ❤️❤️❤️

SO! I was supposed to draw this pic in celebration of 500, but uhhhh I got distracted writing and getting sick and working lmao. Anyway please enjoy the rough sketch then!

This is Recom Miles being confronted by my version of Eywa from Lie of Providence.

Hai, this is puppy creampuffs with my first two interpretations of songs off of disjecta Membra.

*NOTE this is just my thoughts on these songs, and everyone sees them differently, so if you don't agree with them, i totally understand

Also, i am a very bad writer, so if this is badly structured, please don't say anything about it*

My interpretation of Please Mr. Pilot

This song is about the struggle of dealing with the death of a loved one. In the song he talks about how he feels like he can't go to the cemetery and pay his respects at his loved ones funeral. He justified this decision to himself by coming up with various reasons to not go like he doesnt wanna see flowers growing on the grave, he already said goodbye, he shouldn't have to do it in public and why should he go there and be sad in front of strangers. He is just trying to forget that the person died and the funeral is facing the facts and that's the real reason he doesn't want to go.

My interpretation of 2:24

This song is about a day of bandcamp in the summer. As he is just saying the daily events of band camp and what position they happen. I'm not sure what to interpret this as but in my brain this is a fun description of the day from the perspective of a kid in band camp who is bored and decided to make a silly song about it.

FUNFACT: In a Livestream will said he used to play the trombone in high school marching band.

If you liked this i will be releasing more and linking them too each other at some point sown here.

Second post

I'm going to be very honest I don't like how a marvel person aka James Gunn is working in DC moives because it's so wrong and there going to be no common sense. In my point of view I feel like Zack Snyder should have taken over dc from the start because he made very good moives very clear and made the Snyder cut to which marvel entertainment can't copy .

Also James Gunn always used animals like rocket from guardians of the galaxy moives and now the new superman moive with kryto.

https://dcuniverse.fandom.com/wiki/James_Gunn

Yup....that type of person is so precious....😌

So cute when someone knows you're asleep and they text you a long paragraph about how they feel so that's the first thing you read in the AM

right...same happens with me want someone jisse sabkuchh share karu har tarike ke baatein ho but kisi ko pass aane bhi nhi de rha sabse door ho rha side ho rha friends wagerah call karte mai jaldi baat nhi karta...kahi ghumne chalne ko bolte mai mna kar deta pahle sabse jyada excited rhta friends wagerah saath rhte the ab akela akela rhna chah rha ...

pushing everyone away while needing someone is a skill that not everyone has

Wahi mai soch rha kab aayegi koi aisi kanya jisse mai ye dunga ....😌

🕊🌼🐚🌿

Kab ayega woh din, jab mujhe koi ayega aur yeh sab dega??

{Photos from Pintrest}

wanna talk to someone....

mujhe phool 🌸aur ek pyaari si fool 👸dono ki jarurat hai.....😌

agar kisi ko meri yaad aaye to pls khud se message kar lena sorry but i can't text you first because i don't know you're really interested to talk to me or just replying me......😴

Bahut man kar rha hai kisi se baatein karne ka but chhodo....

Kya mai bhi kabhi vo respect vo pyaar kabhi paa paunga jiski mai chahat rakhta hu....

Khud se hu pareshan kya hi kar rha hu bhai....

I love to talk who love to talk to me, from now onwards no any forceful conversation or forceful connection. those who wants to talk will show some efforts to text first. just want few but genuine connection.

ना मैं अच्छा, और ज्यादा बुरा भी नहीं

तुम्हें लग रहा समझ लिया मुझे

तुमने मेरे सोच को अभी छुआ भी नहीं

खुद को समझ रही हो हूर

मेरे कुछ ग़लतियों को देख कर जा रही हो दूर

जानोगी जब मुझे एक दिन टूटेगा तुम्हारा भी गुरूर

फिर सोचोगी क्यों दूर कर दिया उसे

क्या थी उस लड़के की कसूर

विचार और व्यवहार से ज्यादा सबको हो रहे बाहरी सुन्दरता और पैसा से प्रेम

ये है आजकल का सिनेमा, सेलिब्रिटीज , और पश्चिमी देशों का देन।

..............................................................................................

“Not everyone who is single is lonely; not everyone who is taken is in love.”

— Unknown

Guys, What do you think a boy's life should be like?

what things should be included in a boy's life according to your thought ?

you can write your thoughts in comment or DM me, i am excited to know your thoughts 😊

कुछ रिश्ते ऐसे हैं जिनको गवां नहीं सकता

करता प्यार इतना की बयां नहीं कर सकता

जगह तो बहुत है मेरे दिल में ,

पर तेरे सिवा किसी को बसा नहीं सकता । 😁😊

Sorry guys, it's for my an imaginary partner i wanted to share with her but abhi aap logo ke saath kar rha hu, kyuki abhi akela hu 😂😆

MY MFN MANNNNNNNNNN 😩😩 like he so FIONE. like yeah you can tie me up with that scarf bookie 🤭💁🏾‍♀️

and when his hair is up YALLLLLLL I BE MOANING

A mood (I need to.) 😓

Dear me, stop expecting so much from people.

the more i think about it the more i realize that i truly cannot remember being happy for any extended amount of time. of course there were moments, but nothing long term. and although i’ve never felt happy for more than a day or so at a time, i feel it’s absence constantly.