Reader Insert - Blog Posts

Reader: I'm seeing someone.

Simon: As in dating or as in dead people?

Reader: Yes

(October Moon by @whoopsyeahokay incorrect quote because I thought it fit too well)

Sex, Drugs, Etc.

Pt.3

Warnings: Talk of drugs/Drug use. A lot of plot. EXTREME Canon divergence. Before Maddies time. Set in 2022. Sleep Paralysis. Panic attack. Blood. Hearing voices. Disassociation. Suicide? Drowning. This is NOT meant to romanticize addiction or mental illness. (This chapter turned out a little darker than I wanted it to. I was kinda just going with the flow and this is how it turned out. I never really have a plan when writing so sorry if this isn't what was expected and sorry that Wally hasn't been shown a lot. I know its a Wally Clark x reader but I mainly write for plot. I don't recommend reading if any of the warnings above could possibly trigger you. Take care of yourself lovelys)

2.1k words

Pt.2

-

The impending doom that creeps over you when you realize you can’t move is a feeling you didn’t miss. Like the grim reaper himself was looming over you, waiting for the perfect time to strike. Maybe it wasn’t the worst idea, maybe he could take you away from this place, make you not feel so trapped. 

Sleep was rare, but when it did come it wasn't peaceful. He stood there, not moving a muscle, almost like he was teasing you. At some point you started considering him a friend, he didn’t like that very much. The sight of him slowly creeping forward left you short of breath. He couldn’t hurt you, you knew that but it didn’t change the way your stomach fell to your ass. Throat begging to be able to make a sound, limbs feeling completely numb. 

The sound of his steps like gunshots getting louder and louder the closer he got consumed you. “Bang! Bang! BANG!” You shot up, taking deep breaths as you got a grip of your surroundings. It was still dark and you were more over to the edge of the lockers, almost falling off. The cold sweat dripping down your forehead makes you consider getting up and taking a shower, the sleepiness completely erased from your body. But you couldn’t, it was too similar to where- A shiver ran down your spine at the thought. 

As you jump down from your place on top of the lockers you don’t feel the dizziness you normally would from such a movement, no blood rush to your head or weakness in your knees. Guess being dead has its perks. 

It was hard to see, no light from the windows or fluorescents blinding you. You didn’t know what time it was, having learned that your phones still stuck on the time you took your last breath but you assumed you still had a few hours before the halls would be filled with tired teens. 

Something about the silence that bounced off every corner left an uncomfortable feeling in the far end of your mind. Silence was normally comforting, peaceful, but something about this absence of sound made you want to scream, fill the emptiness with your own noise. It was suffocating, or maybe it was just lonely, either way you didn’t like it. 

There's nothing to do here, the one thing you wanted you couldn't get your hands on. You're alone, truly honestly fucking alone. The realization felt like being stabbed, not in the heart but straight through your stomach where you'd be left to bleed out. As the tightening in your chest began to form you ran, as fast as you could to the first exit and pushed it open. The cold December air like a wave of relief as you took deep intakes of breath. Chest still feeling like it was being crushed by a semi truck as you let your body fall down to the ground, and that's when the tears fell. Not baby tears, no, sobs. The type that makes you want to throw up. “FUUUCK!” Your fists hit the pavement repeatedly as you feel your face go numb from crying. You laid there, for god knows how long, beating the pavement until your knuckles were bleeding and no more water could physically escape your eyes. 

As you sit there, no longer able to feel anything you hear the sound of the door open behind you. “That kind of aggression can be really dangerous.” The voice didn’t seem too familiar. As you turn you see the big eyed redhead who gave you the idea of sleeping on top of the lockers. You didn’t know what to say as she sat down beside you, her 70’s hippy aesthetic reminding you of a group you used to hang around. “You know I meditate when I'm upset.”

You let out a soft chuckle at the idea. “Yeah, my uncle Roscoe used to make me meditate.” A smile grows on your face at the memory, your eyes fixed on the pavement in front of you. “He said ‘it will heal your inner spirit’ it was kinda nice actually.” The image of his smile when you finally agreed to trying it after months of him begging you to was burned into the back of your brain. 

“Your spirits all you have left now, it's important to take care of it.” There was a spacyness to her voice, like she wasn’t fully there. Her mind drifting off into a different reality. For the first time since she came outside she looked at you, really looked at you, like she was staring into your soul and feeling your pain. “Take care of yourself.” 

“Thank you” Those were the only words you could muster up, the back of your throat dry and sore from screaming and crying. Without waiting a beat she stood up, going back inside almost like she was never there, the door closing with a click. It was silent again, but this silence was peaceful, content, the type that makes you feel safe. 

After about 10 minutes you decide it's time to go back inside where it's somewhat warm. As you go to open the door it doesn't budge. “Shit” You deliver a few frustrated kicks to the door before giving up. The redheaded girl already long gone. As you slide down, back to the door already accepting your fate, you let your head hit the cold metal with a thud. What a great fucking night. 

-

Wally was sleeping peacefully in the teachers lounge on the second floor when a scream awoke him. “FUUUCK!” This made him sit up, looking around confused, eyes still not adjusted to the dark.

“What the fuck?” He jumped up, stumbling over to the window due to not being fully awake. As he looked out he saw you, on the ground punching the pavement, it looked like you were crying. He knew it would happen eventually, he even overheard Rhonda and Charley making bets the day you died on how long it would take you to break. Grief was weird, especially when you’re grieving your own death. Nothing could ever prepare you for it. 

He debated on whether or not he should go out there and check on you. You seemed like the type of person who liked to be alone with your pain, it didn’t stop him from wanting to wrap you in a big hug and tell you it’s gonna be alright. 

He watched your movements slow as you grew tired, the anger and adrenaline wearing off, no doubt leaving you feeling more empty than you were before the outburst. Even though your breath evened out and the blood on your fists disappeared he could tell by the way you sat there, not moving that you still weren’t okay. Who could be? Nothing about anything was okay. 

The sight of you stiffening as someone crept out behind you made him nervous until he saw the red haired bimbo he knew as Dawn sit down beside you. He didn’t know much about Dawn, she was just kinda there, some would call a drifter doomed to never pass on. Though he wasn’t sure if anyone would really pass on. 

Whatever Dawn said to you seemed to make you feel at ease, your body loosening as you let your guard down. A comforting sight, you’re always on edge. Wally hasn’t seen you just let go since you got here, hell even when you were alive it was like you had a steel wall around you. The wall was still up but something about Dawn seemed to make you trust her in some odd way he couldn’t understand. 

Wally decided to let Dawn handle it, he didn’t want to overwhelm you by having too many people around you. He understood how sensitive death makes people, even if you constantly try to act as though it doesn’t bother you he could tell you were slowly crumbling under the pressure. 

He crept back over to the couch, wanting to get a little more sleep before the morning bell would ring, serving as an alarm for every resident of Split River high. 

 ⚠This is when it gets really dark so read with caution ⚠

It wasn’t until 30 minutes later when Mr.Mandela showed up, unlocking the front door, that you were finally able to re-enter the school. It was still quiet and dark, the sun yet to make an appearance, but this was a different silence. The screams in your mind that didn’t get to make their way out with the rest of them filled it perfectly. But these weren't screams of anger, no, these were screams of desperation. Desperation for a way out, desperation for true silence, desperation for the fuzzy feeling that creates a barrier of protection, that makes you so numb you can't think. 

Then the screams turned dark, mind frantic as they came up with new ideas. ‘The pool’ This one was a whisper, somehow making its way past the louder voices. ‘The gym’ and that's when it came to you. As you made your way to the gym the screaming didn’t stop, they knew what was best for you. At least that's what you convinced yourself in this moment of desperation. 

The sound of your heavy breaths and the screaming was all you could hear as you frantically pushed the gym door open and made your way to where they hold weight lifting classes. You grabbed two 50 pound weights that would normally be difficult to lift but something in you made them feel like feathers. It might have been adrenalin, from what exactly? You didn’t know, but nothing could stop you from whatever your plan was. The voices became jumbled, all screaming the same thing just unsynchronized. ‘ROPE!’ Where the hell were you supposed to get rope? The theater.

Your brain was in overdrive, your thoughts not your own but the voices that drowned together to create a deafening screech. You don’t remember walking to the theater, it's like you blinked and you were there. Again you blinked and there was a rope in your hand and a stage light on the stage floor in front of you. There was a girl screaming at you about something that became muffled due to the onslaught of noise she couldn’t hear. With the weights on each of your shoulders, hands clutching them tightly and the rope placed over the back of your neck you rushed to the pool. Thinking that if you could run fast enough you could get away from the blurred together screaming. You knew it was pointless, it was a part of you, constantly reminding you that even death couldn’t fix you. 

The world was a blur, your movements somehow in slow motion but frantic. As you pushed the door to the pool room you no longer felt like you were in control of yourself. Your limbs were moving on their own as you set the weights down, grabbing the rope, you tied it around your neck tight, making it almost impossible to breathe. 

Nothing felt real, everything around you was distorted. You reached down, tying the weights to the end of the rope and within a blink you were in the water, the coldness shocking your system. Your brain had no time to process as water filled your ears, eyes burning from the chlorine. Your mouth clamped shut, not allowing the water in as you realized what was happening, finally becoming conscious as the voices began to settle. You tried to swim to the top but the weights held you down, thrashing your limbs violently as your lungs began to sting. 

You attempt to untie the rope from your neck but your bodies grown weak from the lack of oxygen. The world went blurry as your head felt like it was going to explode. The pressure became too much, your limbs thrashing violently as you tried to escape the ropes tight grip. You couldn't take it anymore, your brain felt like it was turning into multan lava and with no other option your body forced you to do the one thing you had refused to do.

Your mouth opened, taking a deep breath. Water filled your lungs and your body felt like it was on fire. Hot panic soaring through you as you tried to cough up the water only for more to fill your lungs. This was it, you didn’t know what ‘it’ was exactly and that made it worse. The unknown, such a scary thing that you allowed yourself to walk right into. 

Time felt like it was moving too slowly as you began to slip in and out of consciousness. At least now you’ll get some more sleep right? Fuck. Your body began to grow limp, no longer fighting your fate. The cloudiness in your head took over, unconsciousness taking you easily as everything went black.

Pt.4

Sex, Drugs, Etc.

pt.2

Warnings: Talk of drugs/Drug use. Possible smut in the future. SH. A lot of plot. EXTREME Canon divergence. Before Maddies time. Set in 2022. Almost panic attack. This is NOT meant to romanticize addiction or mental illness.

2.4k words

Enjoy :)

Pt.1

-

It was like any other Friday night. A crowded living room filled with loud teenagers, music so loud your brain went numb, the strong scent of booze and grass filling the air, kids pissing on the carpet and throwing up in the backyard, the perfect party… well almost perfect. There was something missing, something no amount of alcohol or smelly plants could fill. 

Your head was spinning, not from the shots of vodka some girl you just met brought you, but from the people. Parties were supposed to be fun, a chance to drink and dance but the overwhelming crowd left you short of breath. No one forced you to show up, hell you weren't even invited, but you’d take any chance to get out of the house. 

“Hey I’ll be right back” You say to the random blond girl, not giving her enough time to respond before you walk away. Weaving through the drunk teens to get to the back door, you frantically fiddle with the handle, air becoming something almost non-existent. Swinging the door open you step outside, taking deep breaths of air. To anyone walking by it just looked like you were calming yourself down from a bad trip.

“Hey you alright?” The sound of a familiar voice fills your ears. “You look like you've seen a ghost” (I'm so funny) It was Josh, you’d buy weed from him sometimes, though you haven't really talked outside of small talk to make your interactions feel less illegal.  

“Um yeah. I'm great.” Your breath was still ragged, words coming out rushed despite how hard you tried to make them sound casual. 

“Come on, sit down” He grabs you by the shoulder gently, leading you to a coach that had been pulled out into the backyard. A chick with black hair sitting on the far end of it and a dude passed out on the ground in front of it. You sit down awkwardly, Josh comes over and sits between you and the girl, holding two beers and hands you one. 

"Thanks" You take the beer, your original plan of getting some air and going home ruined. 

"You're a little young to be here, aren't you?" This is the first time anyone has questioned you on your age. Normally they'd give you a weird look but leave you alone. 

"I'm old enough for you to sell me bud." He let out a little laugh, 14 was probably too young to be drinking and partying but who's gonna stop you? 

"Got me there" He takes a sip out of the glass bottle. "You don't look like you're having fun." 

“Not really” The only fun thing about parties was getting too drunk to even remember where you are, something you didn’t get the chance to do. 

“You know I'm in a good mood, I got something for you.” He reaches into his pocket, holding out his hand waiting. You look at him confused and after a few seconds he rolls his eyes, but his smile grows. “Go on, take it.” You reluctantly put up your hand for him to drop whatever he has into it. When he does you realize what it is, a little pill. 

“What is this?” The confusion is clear on your face, never having shown any interest in taking pills before.

“Its percocet, 10 milligrams.” You recognize the name, your grandma used to take them. What you didn't understand was why he was handing you a pain pill. 

“Oh um, I don't have any money.” Which wasn’t a lie, but also a good excuse to get out of this awkward situation. He laughs again, clearly high out of his mind and way too friendly. 

“Don’t worry about it, it's on the house.” Now that was what really concerned you, taking a free pill from someone who you barely knew sounded like a death sentence. “You look like you need it.”

The girl sitting next to him scoffed. “Since when are you interested in giving out free shit?” She clearly wasn't in as good of a mood as he was. 

“Come on Gina, the poor girl looked like she was gonna pass out earlier.” That doesn't help with the bitter look that grows on her face.

“Oh so your girlfriend has to pay but you'll give it out to this random kid?” The tone of her voice clearly pissed off, to be fair it was kinda fucked up. 

“Gina-” She doesn't give him a chance to speak before getting up and walking away, mumbling to herself. You sit there awkwardly, pill still in your hand. 

“Should you like, go after her?” Wanting to get up and walk away too, not knowing what to do after accidentally being involved in a potential break up. 

“Nah, she’ll be fine.” He seemed calm, not worried at all at the fact that his girlfriend just stormed out on him. Maybe this was a normal occurrence, either way you decided it's none of your business and opted not to ask any more questions. 

“So what do I do with this?” You gesture to the hand with the pill in it. This was probably in the top 10 most confused you’ve ever been in your life. No one has ever handed you a random pill before. 

“Take it?” He looked at you like you were dumb, like this was the most normal thing in existence. 

“I don’t- I don’t think that's the best idea.” It wasn't the idea of taking a perc that scared you, it was the fact that he could have easily been lying. You’d seen enough true crime to know that this is how you end up on the news. “Here” You hold up the pill, trying to hand it back to him. “It's late, I should head home.” 

“Keep it, I got plenty.” You give him a small nod, sliding the pill into your pocket as you stand up, looking down at the guy passed out on the ground. 

“Uh-” You were gonna ask if he was okay but decided not to, looking back at Josh. “Have a good night.” He ghost (hehe) cheers his beer at you as you walk away, going home confused. 

(“1 fish, 2 fish, this flashbacks been too long bitch” - My Brother, 2024) 

The sound of the final bell rings as you head to the gym where Mr.Martin was planning for tomorrow's movie night. You open the door and see him writing in a notebook as he sits on the edge of the stage. He looks up noticing you as he slides down onto his feet. “Hey, is that your obituary?” He points down to the folder in your hand, a sickeningly sweet smile on his face that feels somewhat intimidating.  

“Yeah, Wally helped me write it.” You hand him it, watching him open it, eyes gazing over the pages. A smile still on his face as he closes it.

“I figured he would, he's such a little helper.” He puts the folder on the stage beside him. “I will sit down and read that later, but for now how are you feeling?” Like shit, but you couldn’t tell him that.

“Great actually, I think this helped.” If anything it made the hunger worse, apparently even death couldn't silence the craving. You made the fake smile on your face look as convincing as possible. 

“Any plans for today?” Another attempt at getting you to talk to the others. He's already suggested several ‘bonding activities’ in the two days you’ve been here. 

“Yeah actually.” The way his face lit up like a christmas tree was almost comical. “Wallys gonna teach me how to swim later.” 

“Oh well, isn't that lovely?” Something about the old fashioned way he talked reminded you of your grandpa. The familiarity brings an odd sense of comfort. 

“I should probably um-” You gesture to the door on the other side of the gym, hands in the pocket of your hoodie, a habit you picked up to keep you from picking at the delicate skin that covers them. 

“Yeah, go on. Have fun.” He waves you off, smile turning more cheesy like a supportive father watching his daughter leave for her first date.

“Okay, great” You turn awkwardly, making your way out.

“I expect to see you tomorrow.” He yells as you're halfway across the gym.

“Of course.” You yell back without turning around. Reaching the door you step out, entering the now empty halls. You weren't supposed to meet up with Wally until later but needing some alone time you opted for the library where you spent most of your day already. A quiet place where you can escape your own thoughts with a simple little book. 

Going the same route you did earlier, except you were alone this time. Something about the quiet school halls felt almost uncanny, somewhat unnatural. You attempt to brush off the uneasy feeling as you reach the library. It was one of your favorite places in the school during your life other than the old locker rooms, but that wasn't really an option anymore. 

The cool air hits your face as you open the door, the sweet librarian Gilinda always kept the ac on specifically for you. Kinda funny to think about the fact that she doesn't even know you're gone, nobody does, how the hell has nobody noticed? I mean isnt it fucking obvious? Do they even care? The silent tear dripping down your cheek snaps you out of thought, rubbing it away with your sleeve quickly. Emotions were always so weird, feelings were something you always tried to hide away into the farthest parts of your mind, leaving you completely and utterly numb. It was the safest option. 

You made your way into the fantasy section, easy and simple. You look around for a little bit before one catches your eye ‘Miss Peregrine’s Home for Peculiar Children’ A token you had read years ago. The graphic story probably wasn’t appropriate for your 12 year old self but something about it sparked something within you. (Ooooh so edgy) There was this little corner you always sat in, it was quiet and not a lot of people came near it, not that it really mattered considering the library was empty but it was your little spot. 

It had been a while since you got to sit down and read a book, your brain being either too wired or too relaxed to concentrate so this was a good feeling. A simple little book, in a simple little corner, in a simple little weird ass situation. What a fucking life… well death. 

The spine was worn down from years of being passed around by different messy highschoolers, pages somewhat torn, leaving the sweet smell of old paper. You read through the first chapter, then the second, then the third, until you forgot about the world around you. Completely immersed in the weird fucked up tale. It was like time didn't exist, nothing did except the little images you created in your mind. It was the only way of escaping, forgetting about life, about death, about cravings, descending into a different world like nothing else matters. It wasn't until you reached the last page that you realized how late it was, though you didn't feel tired. It was like the times you did adderall, nothing could put you to bed. 

“Oh shit” You whispered quietly to yourself when you realized you were only supposed to be there for an hour, your plans with Wally had been completely forgotten about. You stand up, rushing out the library, not bothering putting the book back where it belongs. The halls were dark, no light from the windows filling them, you didn’t know what time it was, just that it was late and way past when you were supposed to meet up. What a great first impression. 

You made your way to the pool room only to find it empty. Of course it was, no one in their right mind would wait hours for someone they didn't even really know. Well this was shitty, he probably thinks you're a total asshole. Who could blame him? He spent his entire afternoon helping you write your obituary and you accidentally blew him off. Asshole behavior. 

It's not like you could find him and apologize, he was probably asleep right now. Something Mr.Martin had advised you to do when you first got here. It was probably a good idea. You couldn’t remember the last time you had a good sleep, normally getting woken up by nightmares or stomach pain. A side effect of pills that they fail to mention. 

You doubted that there were any empty couches, but Mr.Figueroa always kept blankets in his classroom in case someone got cold. His classroom was just down the hall, one of your favorite places to be during c block. He always let you hang out in there even if you were supposed to be in class. The door was locked, but if there was one thing you learned at this school it was that all you had to do was slide your id through the crack and it would pop right open, an important life skill. Charley was sleeping peacefully on the little couch in the corner of the room. You were careful not to wake him as you snuck over to the closet. It was filled with board games and little props he’d use  to teach, at the bottom was a pile of folded up blankets. A fuzzy gray one at the top that you always used, it even smelled like you. 

As you made your way out the classroom, blanket in hand, you tried to figure out where you were going. That's when you saw her, a red haired girl sleeping on top of the lockers. You’d seen her before but never introduced yourself since she wasn't in group. It wasn’t a bad idea, seemed peaceful. You walked down into a different hall, not knowing if there was sleeping territory. It was probably the safest option to go where your locker was. 

It wasn't too high up, a little hard to climb but you managed. The medal was a little cold and you didn’t have a place to rest your head so you took your hoodie off, scrunching it up so you could use it as a makeshift pillow. It wasn't the most comfortable option but it would have to do for now, at least until you fingered out the rules of the afterlife.

(Had to conjure up my inner edgy teenage self for this one, and yes the flash back did in fact happen to me. It was really awkward)

Pt.3

Sex, Drugs, Etc.

Warnings: Talk of drugs/Drug use. Possible smut in the future. SH. A lot of plot. EXTREME Canon divergence. Before Maddies time. Set in 2022

I got a lot of inspiration and motivation from @whoopsyeahokay series called October Sun if you haven't read it yet I recommend you do its amazing, you can find it on tumblr and Ao3. October Sun

(This is very self indulgent and based on things ive been through and how I could have very easily ended up as a ghost. This is NOT meant to romanticize addiction or mental illness. This is a judgment free zone so I want no bullying or hate on anyone. I'm not the best writer so be nice)

1.9k Words

Enjoy :)

-

Two days, two fucking days you’ve been rotting and no ones come to find you. Well no one alive at least. 

It started off normal, nothing out of the ordinary. Just another boring school day with the same washed out boring people. Tired eyes and even more tired souls. So what changed? A little slip up on the same thing that had almost claimed your life many times over the years except this time no one was there to save you. 

You were 14 when you first learned the only way for your brain to stop spinning, trying to find a new way to obtain peace was with a very simple little thing. Weed, this wasn't what was deadly, no it was what started the cycle. First it was weed, then it was alcohol, then it was late night parties, until one day it fell into the palm of your hand. A simple little pill, how could it cause so much damage? Things were fine until one pill turned into two then two turned into three and then you ended up on the patio of a stranger's porch foaming out the mouth. 4 days in the hospital and 2 weeks in rehab was enough to scare you for a while, but not enough to make you forget about the relief that came with it. 

That's how you ended up here, sitting in a circle sharing stories about life and death, a group of highschool boys who had no idea you were even there, playing basketball behind you. Should have just gone to group like you were told to, at least then you would have been with people who understood addiction. Now judgmental eyes fall upon you because you caused your own death. As much as you wanted to find someone, something to blame you knew you couldn't, this was your fault. The spinning hasn't stopped. At least ghosts couldn't go through withdrawal, doesn’t change the fact that the empty feeling you tried so desperately to fill is more presint than ever.  

The sweet voice of Mr.Martin fills the room. Like white nose until you heard him call your name. Head shooting up to look up at him. “Have you started working on your obituary?” Ah yes, ghost homework. you would have never thought that you would have been asked to write your own obituary yet here we are. Not as easy as it sounds.

“I’ve got some ideas” Like when you got so drunk you threw up on your friends cat, or when you were so high that your brother convinced you the plane flying over your house was a UFO, fun memories. Apparently you were supposed to write about the good parts of your life but that's kinda hard when the only good memories you had were caused by what put you in this situation to begin with. 

“Take your time, if you need to im sure some of the others wouldn't mind telling you about what they wrote, for motivation.” You give a simple nod, wanting all the prying eyes around you to look away. And they do, except a certain pair that had been watching you since you got here. 

Wally Clark, a sweet boy, bright future, died to soon like everyone else in this fucked up version of your own personal hell. He asked too many questions, it wasn't a secret how you died, just something you didn't want to talk about.  He respected that, like most of the others, most. Doesn't stop him from prying, staring with curious eyes. 

“I think that's all for today,  don't forget tomorrow's movie night as always our newest member will be picking the movie.” You give an awkward smile before standing up and turning to leave along with the rest of the group. Heavy footsteps creeping up behind you and the sound of your name being called stops you as the tall boy catches up.

“So um do you need help with your obituary? not to brag but I think I did a pretty good job on mine.” Wally was quite attractive, tall, with big brown eyes, and slick back brown fluffy hair. No doubt having made girls fawn over him during his lifetime. You and him weren't exactly friends but the idea of having a little help writing… well, a self obituary wasn't bad. 

“Sure, we could go to the library.” An excited grin grew on Wallys face, not expecting you to say yes. 

“Yeah, yeah the library sounds great” It was kinda cute how he acted sometimes. Not like a typical jock, a pure golden retriever. 

“Cool” You stand there kinda awkwardly, hands in the pockets of your red zip up hoodie as you gave him an expecting look. 

“Oh like now?” He was somehow the most confident yet most awkward person in the world. “Um okay yeah that works” 

You tilt your head sideways towards the door leading out the gym, indicating for him to follow you out. Taking the lead and making your way out, opening the door for him. “Ladies first” He let out a small chuckle at your attempt at a joke, considering it was the first time you really talked to anyone since everything happened. It wasn't that you didn't like people, you just didn’t understand the point of friends. It might sound depressing but having a small group of people that you know will stick around is better than hanging around people that barely know you. Yet here you are, stuck with strangers for eternity or until you finally move on, however long that’ll take. 

The hallway was filled with loud teens, some rushing to their next class others going out the back door, more than likely skipping. “So how does this work?” You look over at him.

“What? The afterlife?” He looks at you, a little nervous. “I don’t think im the best person to explain it to you, that's more of Charley's thing.” Charley was sweet, the first person you met when you woke up. Some sort of after life guide. 

“No, a self obituary.” The words felt weird coming out your mouth. “I know I'm supposed to write about all the great things in life but I don't think huffing nitrous in my uncles bathroom on thanksgiving really counts as a good memory.” 

“Nitrous? like the shit in whipped cream?” He gave you a sideways look, a concerned but humored smile on his face. 

“Yes, the shit in whipped cream, I don't recommend. I passed out and almost had a seizure.” As we reach the library he opens the door, allowing you to go in first. 

“Okay, maybe don’t include that in your obituary, how about” He thought for a second. “Write about your friends and family, I'm sure you have some good memories with them.” 

You let out a frustrated sigh as you sat down at a table, Wally sitting down across from you as you take off your backpack, pulling a pencil and the folder Mr.Martin had given you. “That's too much work, do you think Mr.Martin would notice if I just copied yours?” Wally laughs a little, his straight white teeth showing.

“No, he’ll totally believe that you played football and lost your virginity in your moms car.” Now you’re the one laughing, his sentence coming out way too casually. 

“You lost your virginity in your moms car?” You take a few seconds to process before you look at him judgmentally. “You included how you lost your virginity?” Though the smiles’ still apparent on your face. 

“Happy memories, remember?” And there's the jock attitude you were waiting for, somehow a bit surprising but not unexpected. “You could just write your feelings.” You have a whole journal for that from when you got sober… soberish. 

“This may come as a shock to you but I'm not exactly a feelings person.” Not totally true, it was just easier to not feel anything at all, especially with the situation you're in right now. 

“Really? I couldn't tell” The sarcastic tone in his voice very apparent. “Alright fine, if you were happiest when you were high then it's worth writing.” 

“Great, so high stories, got it” Though it wasn't the best idea, you had to write something so Mr.Martin would get off your ass about it. Reminiscing was a slippery slope, you were holding up decently so far but contrary to what all the others think it hurt deep down. “How about the first time I tried molly?” Probably one of the best ‘happy pills’ you tried in your lifetime. 

“What was it like?” He clearly had no intentions of finding out first hand, just curious of the experience. 

“It made me really aware but like in a good way.” There was no real way to describe it without going into depth. “And kinda trippy I guess, does that make sense?” 

“Yeah, I guess.” He knew he could never truly understand, no one could unless they experienced it themselves. As you begin to jot down the memory Wally peaks over, looking at the page though it's not very useful due to the fact that he doesn't possess the skill to read upside down. 

“Nosey” You laugh a little at his attempt to get to know you better. “You know if you want to get to know me, maybe there are better ways to do it then helping me write my own obituary” Yep, still didn't sound right.  

“Oh um yeah, this is probably a really weird first hang out.” He laughs awkwardly at the realization that this is still new to you. It wasn't like he had never been around a new ghost before, he knew he was supposed to be slow, supportive, ease them into it but with the way you acted sometimes made him think you were more used to this than he was. In a way you were, death was something that you had imagined so many times so when it actually came the idea of being trapped wasn't one you hadn't thought of before. “How about after we're done with this I could take you down to the pool?” 

You smile, the sentiment was sweet. “Thanks, but I don't know how to swim.” You were never taught and it didn't seem important in life so you just never learned. The surprised look on Wallys face was priceless.

“How the hell are you 18 and don’t know how to swim?” It wasn't judgmental, just a little surprised, but the grin on his face indicated that he had an idea. 

“Oh god, what are you thinking about?” You knew what was coming, he wouldn't be him if he didn’t jump at the opportunity to help a new friend. Wally was very readable and you didn’t know if that was a good thing yet. 

“I could teach you.” And there it was, of course he wanted to teach you. “It could be fun, plus you don't have much else to do.” 

“You know what fuck it, you’re right there isnt shit else to do.” Especially with your body still laying cold in the old abandoned locker rooms aka ‘the brain cave’. 

“Great, you should keep writing, the faster you get it over with the less weird it feels.” And that's how it started, you were never the friend type but as much as you hated to say it you needed someone. Sure that someone is very attractive and the idea of seeing him in nothing but swim trunks was a nice image but who could blame you? The afterlife is lonely.

Pt.2

love

The Wanderer

jeremy frazier x fem oc.

chapter one: hey, sadie, it’s 1999.

From Jeremy’s window, you get a good view of the town. The trees all turning brown and gold, the leaves which fall from them in varying shades of reds and yellows. Some are dead, with only branches to spare. Then there is the winding road, of course, and the small stores that tunnel it.

From Jeremy’s window, people are putting together Christmas decorations on their houses, string lights in multicolours, and Santa Claus signs in the yards.

From Jeremy’s window, she stares down into his backyard. Her backyard. Their backyard, as it has been for so long. There’s the stolen bike propped up on the inside fence, waiting for the cops. There is the eyesore pile of leaves laying crisp in wait for the kids from next door to come and dive into when they’re feeling daring. There is Jeremy’s childhood treehouse, its paint red and faded but standing strong. And sitting at its edge, strumming a guitar, is Jeremy himself. His long fingers dance along the guitar strings, long legs hanging over the edge of the doorway he sits in. Today, Jeremy’s dressed in her favourite teal sweater of his, and black jeans. His head is bent over the guitar ever so slightly, chocolate curls brushing his eyes. It’s strange, how she gets the urge to grab his curls and slam his face into the treehouse wall. Strange indeed.

As if he can sense her watching, Jeremy raises his head and tilts back, lifting a knee up to his chest under the guitar. Milky skin is unchanged in the cool weather, darling pink lips turning up to a smile. A set of dark brown eyes meet her’s, and they set there. He’s calm today, apparently. He’s kind.

Sadie isn’t.

Today she feels…angry. They’re always conflicting emotions, the two of them. A match strikes inside her, and she raises a confident hand to her neck, swiftly moving it across in a slicing motion, clenching her teeth.

Jeremy’s mouth only tugs upward, perfect white teeth on display. He tears his eyes away and down to the guitar strings, and begins to play again. The song is familiar, but she’s never learned its name. He won’t tell her. She can’t help but latch her eyes on his hand, strumming the strings like they’re the most delicate things in the world. Memories cast phantom fingertips along her wrists, searching somewhat softly for a pulse. She’d had one, then, at that particular moment in time.

Which was why he’d swung the bat again.

“You should come down!” His voice calling pulls her from the past. It’s like honey, not at all uncaring, and it does the trick. “The fresh air’ll do you some good!”

Sadie scoffs harshly. Fresh air…Is he trying to be funny?

“Move away from the window, Sadie,” he chastises, he advises, he urges.

She folds her arms and waits heavily on one hip, tapping her fingers along her arms, and steps backward until she’s definitely out of his vision. The street is busy, today, but the treehouse is just behind the fence and out of sight. She could really annoy him and open the window, throw herself out—that usually gives him a bit of a shiver, at least. Or maybe—

“I know what you’re thinking, Sadie! Stop plotting and come down!”

He knows her too well. Being house-bound for twenty years will do that to a person.

Tilting her head, she allows herself to consider the options:

One—leaving their room today would be a nice change of scenery. She hasn’t left it in exactly a week, rotting in desperation and depression. Eyeing the movie posters on the walls, Sadie thinks of all of the things that could go wrong by going outside. Absolutely nothing, to be real. She just risks blowing up on Jeremy for the third time this week.

Two—Jeremy would try to serenade her with a sweet word and deescalation techniques, and she couldn’t promise that she wouldn’t try to throw herself and him out of the treehouse.

“What do you think, Prisoner Panda?”

Sadie turns to their bed. There are Jeremy’s old plushies of course, only an alien from the movies in Montana, and a blanket. But there is also her panda, a small and ragged thing left here by chance many moons ago. He’s cartoonish and limp, now the stuffing has moved so much. But he’s still smiling, and he smells like home. Prisoner Panda is Prisoner Sadie’s only best friend.

The other one killed her.

Prisoner Panda does not answer her.

“I should go out, right?” Sadie nods to the inanimate object. “A change of scenery will make me feel better, huh? Yeah. I think so, too.”

She takes a jacket from the back of Jeremy’s desk chair and pulls it on over her outfit of red dress and tights. The next step is getting out of the bedroom. Jeremy’s music is still playing away from the yard, as Sadie slips through the hallway. The yellow patterned wallpaper smells faintly of cigarette smoke and baking, the smell of which only becomes stronger the closer she gets to the ground floor and the kitchen.

The staircase is somewhat creaky, the banister painted dark brown, like old varnished mud, and the steps are the same. She can’t count the times she fell on these stairs, all the times Jeremy’s mom would help her with an ice pack to the knee, or the head.

As if she can sense Sadie thinking about her, Jeremy’s mother comes hurrying by the staircase just when Sadie reaches the bottom. Her long blonde hair is tied up today in a pretty bun, and stuck through with green sparkling pins. She has a rag and a bottle of cleaning detergent in her hand, peering at Sadie with her one good eye. She bursts into a bright smile exactly like her son’s.

“Morning, Sade.” Her pale hands wipe down every inch of the walls. Always cleaning, is Sara. Obsessively so.

You’d deduced together, you and Jeremy, that his parents were completely unaware that they were dead. To them, it was just another day. The kitchen utensil sticking through Jeremy’s mother’s eye was nothing to her, and the same for the one in his father’s head. The weapons their son had used didn’t phase them in the slightest, because to them it never happened. Life went on as normal. Was it a coping method, she wondered? Or hadn’t they reached the level of self-awareness in the afterlife of which she and their son had?

Passing by the living room, Sadie clears her throat. “Morning, Ted.”

Ted Frazier is by all means, a couch potato. While Sara cleans, Ted hogs the television. “Mornin’. Think Jeremy’s outside…”

Through the homely hallway, decked in frames of she and Jeremy in Montana, the last one at their graduation, and snapshots of Ted and Sara’s life together, including small images of baby Jeremy, and other family members Sadie only met the once. It smells strongly of lavender and lemon cleaning products, like a little trail of Sara.

Through the dining room, past Sara stress-polishing the table, Sadie strolls to the open back door, and out into the world.

There’s the plain garden fence, encasing the small bench on one side (where Jeremy can’t reach), the red treehouse, and down to the open driveway.

The wind blows firmly today, but not enough to put her off coming outside. It kisses her skin like she’s still alive, and the grass is cool under her feet, bare beside the material of her tights. Jeremy’s coat blows, forcing her to wrap it tighter with her arms crossed around the front. Sadie raises her gaze to the sound of strumming, the high notes blending softly together.

“Hey, Sade,” his voice comes down, gentle, like he’s approaching a frightened animal. “It’s a nice morning.”

Across the damp ground she approaches him, staring from the bottom of the ladder at first. She wishes to scare him, get her own back. Not that she hasn’t done so in the past twenty years, but it’s long overdue since the last time. Two weeks, exactly, since she’d tried to throw him down the stairs. Jeremy had the upper hand, and pushed her over the banister instead.

“If you came here to stare at me and say nothing I’d say just go back inside,” he drawls. “You’re being boring.”

“You’re an asshole.” She spits, full of spite.

“You said that last week. And then you couldn’t get enough—”

Quickly, she raises her hands and claps them around his thin ankle, feeling the bones grind beneath her fingers. And she yanks, hard on his weight. He shifts only once, enough to be startled, the guitar falling hard to the wood beneath, and then she pulls again, unforgiving this time. Jeremy yells in surprise and pain, body landing with a thump on the thick tree roots at the base. Groaning on his back, a hand stronger than it looks takes a fistful of her hair and twists, as her own balls up and pounds into the junction at his neck—right where he broke it.

“Get off!” He’s angry, now. And good, she thinks, he deserves to feel what she is feeling, and slaps her palm across his face. It’s only eleven in the morning, but they’re about to have many, many fights today. “You little psycho, go back inside!”

Sadie laughs, and then cries out. Jeremy slides his fingers through her hair to her temple, digging firmly into the place of injury.

“Ow! Ow, fuck!” She lets go of his collar. Jeremy wrenches himself from her grip.

They’ve had this particular back-forth situation happen a million times. She knows how to hurt him—digging into his broken neck—and he does her—by pushing on the spot of impact.

“You told me to come out!” She manages to yell, pushing a hand free between them both to take a dig at his bruised neck. “You—told—me!”

“I thought you were feeling angry, not murderous! I can deal with angry.”

“Shame I had to deal with murderous!”

She bites at his wrist, grazing it, and Jeremy laughs like he can’t believe it, taking a handful of her hair to pull her away. They’ve done this a million times, and he still acts shocked.

It makes her think of his twentieth birthday back in 2001, play-fighting in the front room. They’d just watched a rerun of some army movie and tried to replicate their moves. Surprisingly, she’d had him on his back, watching in glee as he wrestled her over, hovering carefully between her knees and complaining about a girl being stronger than him.

Such a shame things went the way they did back then.

She doesn’t stop fighting him because she wants to; they stop because of his mom. She yells from the doorway.

Sara sighs heavily. “Jeremy! Not again, guys! Back To The Future is playing in five, don’t you want to watch it?”

The two of them are quiet, just breathing hard, adrenaline running. Jeremy moves away slightly, giving her space. He lightens the hold on her hair, brushing the bloodied dip of her skull from the incident so long ago. His thumb brushes over it, a loving touch and a tender warning all the same.

“Yeah!” He calls, stumbling back to his feet. “We’re coming now.”

“Well, don’t be late for it! You know what your dad’s like.” Sara laughs nervously, tittering in place. “I’m going to get started on lunch!”

Lying on her back watching the clouds float by, Sadie waits to catch her non-needed breath. After a few seconds, she sits upright, and uses the tree to get to her feet. Jeremy stands a little way off with his hands in the pockets of his jeans, observing her.

“Feel better, psychopath?”

She nods her head, and hums. “A little.”

Jabbing his thumb to the house, he lets that smirk appear. “Can we go watch a movie now? You’re not gonna smash the television over my head are you?”

Sadie pushes him aside, passing. “Don’t push your luck.”

They settle on the couch for the movie, and stay there until it’s nearly time for dinner. There’s no benefit of eating in the afterlife—the food is nice, but pointless. It has no nutritional value whatsoever, but Sadie does it to appease Sara, who has never known she’s dead.

That night, in the dark coziness of their bedroom, tucked under covers and blankets galore, Jeremy presses a mirage of kisses along the impact zone on her skull, raining love along the violence. He noses at her neck, and breathes in the flat of her collar.

“I’m tired,” mutters Sadie, laying a warm hand against his bruised neck. She feels the blood pooled under his skin, tiny fragments of bones dancing around under there.

“So sleep,” he says.

For the first time in weeks, she does.

—

“We really should put out the Christmas decorations. I’ll ask Ted and Jeremy to go get them down from the attic later…”

It’s raining hard this morning of December seventh. The sky cries, presenting itself in dark blue. The stand mixer whirs, and so does Sara, spinning back and forth around the kitchen for the things she needs to make cupcakes. Sadie’s supposed to be helping her, but the Vogue magazine from 1999 that she has read a million times is just so damn interesting…

Rain cracks down on the windows. Lifting her eyes, she watches the droplets slide down the glass, and pool at the dip in the window ledge.

“What do you think, Sade?”

She looks to Sara, now. The cooking utensil sticking out of her face used to bother Sadie greatly, but now it’s like looking at a friend—the abnormalities don’t bother her much anymore.

“What?”

Sara smiles but rolls her good eye. She waves the bowl of batter. “I said, vanilla or strawberry flavoring?”

“Strawberry,” she decides, looking back to page four. “We had vanilla last week didn’t we?”

“Right we did, Sade. Right we did…”

It’s boring, being dead. Trying to find ways to pass the time when you’re aware that you’re no longer living is difficult. At first, they tried everything, she and Jeremy. Football games in the yard (once they got past the initial hatred stage); moving household furniture around; and other things. But there’s only so much time that being intimate and pushing furniture pieces around can fill.

They started to get creative.

By trying to kill each other again.

“Bet this isn’t what you thought came after death,” she told him once upon a time, trying to gather a bit of broken skull off of the floor.

“Not. One. Bit.” Jeremy seethed, trying to crack his neck back in place.

It’s been twenty-two years since this Vogue magazine came out, but when she looks out of the window, the style is coming back around. The two-thousands never dies, it seems. She’s seen it come back about five times, now.

The chair shrieks across the tiles when she stands up. Sara grimaces and casts a look to the hallway, where Ted’s programme can be heard. It hasn’t gone amiss that there’s been a lack of arguing on Ted’s part this past week—he’s bound to blow up anytime now. Every little noise Sadie makes is like pulling on the tense wire that is Sara’s nerves.

She leans down to the windowsill, her head down on her arms, watching the world go by. School kids wait for the yellow busses, a couple of teens bike on by, laughter high on the rain. The headlights on the newer cars shine down the street, whizzing past at a speed waaaaay over the limit. Longing pulls at her heart.

A shuffle somewhere behind her draws her eyes up, refocusing on the reflection of the lit kitchen in the glass.

“Morning,” Jeremy sighs, pulling a chair from underneath the table and sitting heavily. He’s in black pyjama pants and a loose-fitting red sweater, and he takes the bowl of cereal his mom offers him, digging in straight away.

Ugh. Sadie looks away, out of the window again. This time, she swears a kid looks right at her. Probably not—Jeremy’s always said living people can’t see them one bit. Unless they’re Lydia Deetz, but she’s a bit of a folk story in their world. A could-be, whom people want to believe can give them a way out. There are whispers, and shouts, but nobody has proven her to be the real deal yet.

“Did you get a good sleep?” Sara lays a gentle hand in her son’s curls, shifting them. “Your father and I didn’t keep you awake yelling did we? I tried to tell him to quieten down; that he’d wake the two of you. But…well, you know how he is.”

As a matter of fact, yes, Ted did keep them awake. Something about slipping on the stairs because they’d been polished too much. Unable to sleep, Sadie had turned on some alternative rock from Jeremy’s player, and watched the world go by all night at his desk chair, contemplating life and the afterlife. Nearly twenty-three years of the same posters on the walls, twenty-three years of Ted and Sara, twenty-three years of Jeremy sleeping with his back to her, tossing and turning, like he can’t face the consequences of his actions.

In the middle of the night, governed by moonlight, she had even dug out Jeremy’s copy of the Handbook for the Recently Deceased and had a good old flick through. Hers had been thrown under the bed when she missed her target of Jeremy the week prior, and she couldn’t be bothered to go crawl under there and grab it.

Seven-hundred pages of illustrated explanations, incantations in different languages of all kinds. Nothing particularly helpful, besides the whole ‘draw a door!’ thing it offered, for those who wanted to talk to a case worker.

They’d done that in the early days, when the desperate need to escape became too much for even him. See, Jeremy’s death had been an accident. Hers, an unfortunate consequence. Wrong place, wrong time. In another life, she might have stayed home. Jeremy wouldn’t have come out to the garden to find her. The cops would have found him in the house and arrested him before taking him to prison, and her life would have continued in a decent deal of shock, but at least it would have continued.

Jeremy had drawn a messily-etched door on the wall, tearing down his precious posters, and knocked three times. It materialised and opened up into winding hallways passing grotesque endings and frightful things. It was a whole city—dry cleaners and police forces in terrible hues of reds and greens, dirty and depressing; a waiting room, and an immigration centre, for those wanting to reach the Pearly Gates, the Fires of Damnation, Elysium or the Great Beyond, governed by the dead. Their case worker, Juno, in her last year working, sat them down and explained the basics.

They were dead. This was the afterlife. No, Sadie, there hadn’t been a mistake. No, Jeremy, he couldn’t go back. But the good news was that they weren’t stuck forever! Sadie blew her nose noisily at this on a tissue Juno handed over the desk as Jeremy side-eyed her, clenching his fists. This was not what he’d hoped for.

“One-hundred-seventy years for you!” Juno slapped a stamp down on a business-like card, a bit of slip with Jeremy’s name in blood-red ink looped along the top line. “For soul redemption, and per the guidelines.” She slapped it down in front of him. “Don’t lose that, young man!”

She turned to Sadie next, human-looking with permed blonde hair and kind eyes. “Sadie, darling, I know this is hard to comprehend.” She touched Sadie’s hand, before offering a glance to Jeremy, as if willing him to understand. “Murder victims are often the hardest to console—the shock.” She picked up her pen with the other hand and began to write out another card.

“Only fifty years for you, my dear. Your life review deemed it unfair to have you repent for his sins. But, per the guidelines, you also have a lot of reviewing to do.”

“What happens after the time is up?” Snapped Jeremy at her side. His foot tapped anxiously at the ground. “What does it mean?”

“You’ll come back here and head on over to immigration! Show them your passports—they’ll arrive in a few days, so not to worry about that. You’ll have a choice: reunion at the Pearly Gates with other family members. Damnation if the council decides you have more repentance to continue. Or the Great Beyond, if you would like another shot at life. We give significant wait times between your death and your departures overall to allow those who have passed into our current side the opportunity to really think through their choices.”

Jeremy shifts, leaning forward. When Sadie shifts her gaze away from Juno to her boyfriend, there’s this look on his face. Anger, shock, mixed with a bit of terror that this is what the afterlife is.

“So this happens to everyone?” He asks.

Leaning back, Juno shakes her frizzy hair. “Not everybody, no. Some people become ghosts, others don’t. Luck of the draw. We aren’t completely sure why only certain people end up in our state, but it happens more often than you think. The live people think it’s down to unfinished business. But you’d know all about that, wouldn’t you, both? You’re very new here. And oh, so young! Twenty…what an age! Not to worry—we have some pamphlets I can give to you. We run acceptance classes on a Thursday night, all about accepting you’re dead. It helps some dead to make peace with their circumstances. And of course if you ever have any queries or complaints, we’re always here to help!”

Thunder cracked, and the book in Sadie’s hands slid from them, falling to the floor with a heavy thud. It fell open, face-up. She leaned down to it and examined its pages contents. The book only displayed the contents when it deemed the reader ready for them. The pages her book showed would not necessarily be the same ones as in Jeremy’s.

SO YOU WANT TO EXCHANGE YOUR AFTERLIFE FOR ONE OF THE LIVING? READ ON NOW, WE CAN HELP!

The bed sheets ruffled, Jeremy rolling over in his sleep. Ted screamed at his wife two floors below, and Sara’s words came through among the sobs.

Creeping across the room on light feet, she sat down at her boyfriend’s side. “Hey, Jeremy…you’ve got to get up.”

He opened his eyes, seriously unimpressed, rubbing them.

Sadie leaned down, smugly smiling. “I’ve got an idea.”

The following afternoon, residing in the same chair after a fight with Jeremy and an aching heart, Sadie thought back on her whole twenty-two years in this house. Her parents were somewhere out there in the big wide world, in their sixties. Her siblings would be grown with families of their own, having been to college, or travelled. Maybe she was a sad reminder in a photo frame on the mantelpiece somewhere, or a candle lit in memory on the anniversary of her death, or her birthday. She might be a story shared at Christmas, replayed every few years on the news. She missed them terribly.

She thought long and hard about the lead up to her death, and spiralled. For the rest of the afternoon and well into the night, curled up beside him, she thought over first encounter with Jeremy in the town, and a long drive into what became her new home.

She thought way back when, to 1999.

CHAPTER 2 -> to be published.

Clown!Reader: Accepting any job that helps bring a smile to their customers.

Batman: Hm...

One week later

Clown!Reader: Goes through several hardships that almost cost them their sanity.

Batman: Oracle can you try to do a backgroung check?–

Clown!Reader: Almost unalives after losing their jobs thanks to Joker and his goons.

Batman: Change of plans. Alfred, prepare a room!

Retail Therapy - Luke Patterson

Julie and the Phantoms

Request?: Nope.

Word Count: 4.8K+

Summary: Alive!Luke x Alive!Reader/ Alive!JATP x Reader. After a fight with your parents, you go out for a little retail therapy and meet a certain Rockstar. I think I will prolly do a part 2 or more let me know if you want one, btw this is not proofread or edited. Luke sings to you in this chapter and he sings ‘Can’t take my eyes off you’ by Frankie Valli and The Four Seasons, so you can listen to that if you want.

Warnings: I don’t think there’s any.

-

“Julie please, my parents and I just got into another huge fight about my art and I need moral support.”

“But my dad wants me to watch Carlos and I can’t bail again.”

“Please just get here! I need you, Jules,” Y/N radiated distress and it was clear to all the people in the Claire’s she was currently in.

“Fine, I can call my tía. I’ll be there in an hour, but you owe me an ice cream cone!” Julie said laughing, Julie had been Y/N’s best friend since they met in the seventh grade when they both accidentally wore the same shirt three days in a row and became friends, they often would laugh about it. Y/N told her where to meet and thanked her friend quickly hanging up the phone. She heaved all her shopping bags up and looked around.

“Why am I even in this store?!” She hmphed loudly drawing the attention of the other shoppers once again. She marched out of the store towards the food court where she was meeting Julie. A new store caught her eye and she stopped for a minute debating if she had enough room for more bags. She quickly made her mind up deciding that she could make room, after all, she had her dad’s Platinum Amex and she was not going to waste this opportunity. Y/N walked quickly to the entrance of the quaint book store. She turned into the book store slamming into something, it was just her luck to run into a wall today and I mean why not seeing as the rest of her life was falling to pieces around her. She fell onto her back looking at the ceiling her bags scattered around her. 

“Oh my god! I’m so sorry! Are you okay?” A boy came into her sight. He had shaggy brown hair and was wearing a light yellow apron with a name tag. Guess she didn’t run into a wall after all, but again that was just her luck. Her eyes began to water as all the emotion crashed upon her like a tsunami. She gritted her teeth pulling herself together.

“I’m fine,” Y/N looked at his name tag. “Luke.”

“Woah how’d you know my name?” Luke stepped back and Y/N let out a breath of laughter.

“Nametag,” She said as the tears began to pool in her eyes.

“What? Oh my god, why are you crying?” Luke looked at her panicked, he didn’t do the best around crying girls. She held up a thumbs up. 

“I said I’m- I’m,” She coughed lightly trying her best to get out the words. 

“Here let me help you up,” Luke stuck out his hand to her nervously. She grabbed it and using her other hand tried to wipe the onslaught of tears off her face. Luke kept a hold of her hand pulling her to the back section of the store. 

“Um you can stay back here as long as you’d like,” He rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly and accidentally running into the desk behind him knocking a book off the desk he looked at it quickly.

“Here you can read this maybe it’ll make you feel better,” he picked the book up shoving the book into her arms. He ran out of the room quickly.

“Oh? I- Thank you!” Y/N called out into the store. Luke ran back into the room his arms heaving all the girl’s bags.

“How were you carrying this much?” He wheezed dropping the bags by her. She laughed wiping more tears away and smearing her mascara. Luke backed up again.

“I have to get back to work but just leave when you want and if you need anything I’ll be up at the front counter,” he nodded at the girl giving her a thumbs up, and walked out again. She sat at the back of the store composing herself. She picked up the book looking at the title. It was ‘The Outsiders’ and a pretty beaten up copy at that the book was filled up with loose pages, she flipped through it and set it down on the table next to her. She turned to grab her bags. She didn’t notice but the book slipped off the table into one of her bags. She also didn’t notice her journal/ sketchbook drop from her purse as she grabbed everything trying to flee as quickly as she could. She collected the rest going out into the main store and heading to the counter.

“Thanks again for the help,” She leaned on the counter gazing at the boy in front of her.

“No problem, um you can come back anytime, that is if you want to of course no pressure,” Luke stumbled over his words.

“Of course, yeah,” She nodded, but she was not going to come back, not after that humiliating experience. He smiled dopily at her.

“Can’t wait,” he leaned on the counter as well.

“Um yeah,” she felt a twinge of guilt at the totally sweet look he was giving her. Her phone chimed loudly and she pulled it out.

“That would be my cue to leave,” She turned quickly dashing out of the store making her great escape.

“Bye then,” he waved confused. Y/N pulled out her phone checking the text.

‘Where are you? I got here 10 minutes ago.’ - From Julie. Y/N sighed speeding up her strides to get to the food court quicker. She spied Julie sitting at a table in the middle of the court. She made her way through the throng of people and sat down at the table setting her bags down under it. 

“What happened?” Julie asked eyeing the girl.

“I had a bit of a break down in a store, but a nice employee helped me out so I’m good,” Y/N laughed quickly.

“Are you okay, your eyes are really puffy. Do you need eye drops?” Julie stuck her hand in her purse and Y/N stopped her laughing again.

“I don’t need anything I’m good I promise, I just want to spend time with my best friend,” Y/N laid her hands down on the table in front of her. Julie rested her hands on top of the girls.

“If it’s any consolation I am supportive of your art,” Julie smiled sweetly. Y/N’s heart melted at the girl’s words, it did mean a lot to her.

“Thanks, Julie, now if you could convince my parents to do the same then that would be a dream come true,” a weak smile crept its way onto Y/N’s face. Julie squeezed her hand.

“How about we go get that ice cream and we can talk a bit and walk around, I think we both need it,” Julie stood up interlocking her hand with Y/N’s and pulling her towards the creamy treat.

-

It’d been a few weeks since the mall incident and things were not getting any easier for Y/N. Fights seemed to be on the daily now and the yelling was beginning to drive the girl insane. So she spent as little time as possible at her house only going over to sleep and do school work, other than that she was at the park painting or reading through the book that had slipped into her bag. She had planned on returning it to the booking clerk after she had read it, but now it had been three weeks and she had yet to. She would have hung out with Julie, but she was busy with her new band and nonstop rehearsals, they were set to debut at a spirit rally at school next week and they needed to be perfect. She still hadn’t met the band, but she had permission from Julie to crash anytime she wanted and she was planning on taking full advantage of this pass soon.

Her favorite pass time though was reading the book though so she had kept it, she loved to just read and look at the little notes and doodles in the margins, it really gave her a view of what was going on in Luke’s head. Although sometimes it was hard to decipher the hieroglyphics that was Luke’s handwriting.

She had discovered that the writings of S.E. Hinton were not the only thing hidden away in the eggshell-colored pages, there were journal entries and songs. She didn’t feel comfortable reading through the entries but she sure did love reading the works of musical genius, Luke’s, songs. They were so well written and heartfelt it helped her understand this boy that she barely knew, this boy so full of passion, feeling, emotions, and kindness.

And that’s where she was now reading a song of loss and regret under the cloudy sky. One that she related to personally, it reminded her of her parents and that even if she was having a hard time with them she would always love them even if they weren’t in the picture.

“If you could only know I never let you go,” she hummed along to the words, and sure she didn’t know the tune the words were initially meant for but she could sure try and make her own melody. But her phone interrupted her startling her out of her own little world within the words. She hurriedly wiped at her tear-stained cheeks and took the device out. It was 4:30, Julie and the Phantoms were at rehearsals right now and this was the perfect opportunity to infiltrate the jam session, so Y/N hopped on her bike and sped towards the Molina residence.

-

Y/N stopped on the cobblestone path leading to the studio loft and set her bike against the stone wall. She could already hear the music drifting from the open window of the studio. She crept to the porcelain white door and stood on her tiptoes looking through the long windows. Y/N could see Julie on the piano and three boys surrounding her. There was a tall lanky one wearing a pink shirt and had a fanny pack slung across his chest, he had blond hair and was on the drum, there was a raven-haired one clad in flannel and leather he was on bass guitar and another one that wasn’t facing Y/N, from what she could see he was a brunet and was wearing jeans and a blue sleeveless hoodie, and he was on a guitar she thought. Julie looked up and jumped a little but she just laughed it off stopping the music and gesturing for Y/N to come inside. Just as Y/N was about to move away from the door the brunet turned around her her heart stopped she could hear all the blood rushing and it was deafening.

It was Luke from the bookstore. Y/N felt herself pale and she quickly hid from view she slid down to sit against the door and the pavement, her eyes darted around looking for a place to hide, any place at all. But before she could move the door gave way and she fell onto her back. Julie had opened the door at the whole band formed a circle around the starfishes girl. Luke broke out into a fit of giggles.

“We have got to stop meeting like this,” he managed to get out through the laughter. Y/N deadpanned and scoffed.

“Tell me about it,” she sighed. Luke came to a stop and offered her a hand. She did not grab the hand though instead opting to roll onto her stomach and push herself up. Luke lowered his hand awkwardly and Alex snickered.

“You two know each other?” Julie asked looking between the pair.

“Kind of,” Y/N shrugged looking at the dopey grinned boy. “We met at the mall a few weeks ago, you remember Julie we had an ice cream cone that day.

Julie nodded and looked at Luke.

“Oh, so this is the guy you stole a book from!” Julie laughed at the panicked face you made. Luke sent Y/N a confused look.

“Oh my god! I’m so sorry I’ve been meaning to return it,” Y/N dug through her backpack and pulled out the book victorious. She handed the book to Luke quickly and added a quick explanation and a sorry.

“Hey it’s okay, you kind of left something too, I had been wondering where it had disappeared to though,” he laughed and snatched Y/N’s journal from his bag handing it to her. Throughout their exchange Julie, Alex, and Reggie just stood awkwardly shuffling their feet.

“Oh! I thought my dad took this... Oh My god wait please tell me you didn’t look,” Y/N paled again. Luke and Y/N stared at each other for a minute silently.

“Um only a little,” Luke looked down to the ground guiltily. Julie coughed and clasped her hands together.

“Why don’t we play something for Y/N while she’s here!” She said sitting down at the piano. The rest of the boys picked up their instruments, Alex sitting at the drums, Reggie standing with his bass next to Alex and the door, and Luke standing next to the piano and the couch. Y/N took a seat on the couch farthest away from Luke, she was feeling a bit awkward.

“So this is Bright,” Julie said to Y/N as well as making the boys aware of what they’d be playing for her. Julie played the first notes on the piano taking a breath and smiling, she was really in her element right now and it showed.

“Sometimes I think I’m falling down. I wanna cry, I’m calling out,” Julie sang out hitting each note with perfection. Y/N got goosebumps on her arms while listening to Julie’s voice, it was really breathtaking.

“For one more try, to feel alive.” The boys still hadn’t played their instruments and Y/N looked at each of them confused. Luke sent her a wink and threw his guitar over his shoulder with finesse. Y/N smiled brightly and gave him thumbs up. She reached into her bag pulling out a paper and a pen. She wrote a 9.5 

“What?! I deserve a 10,” Luke frowned strumming a note as Julie sang, “Life is a risk but I will take it, close my eyes, and jump.”

“It’s because you’re a show-off,” Y/N held out the f sound. Luke laughed and threw his head back.

“I’ll you show you what showing off really looks like,” he grinned at her. Just ask he said that Julie sang, “Come on let’s run!”

And that's when the boys hopped into action the music hitting Y/N like a wave. Luke played the guitar his hands moving effortlessly on the frets, he had so much passion in his eyes and Y/N couldn’t tear hers away. Luke looked at her holding her gaze intently.

“Life is a risk but we will take it, close my eyes and jump,” Luke’s voice came out gravely and husky, giving Y/N goosebumps once again. Reggie sang along with him dancing around the middle of the loft. Y/N felt like the breath was knocked out of her, the band was, to put it simply, dazzling. She had so many thoughts for them but she knew she it’d be impossible to tell them how amazing they were in words. Luke walked closer to Y/N kneeling in front of her while still playing his instrument. 

“Come on let’s run!” Luke sang to her, the rest of the band along with him. He hit the high note with ease and Y/N breathed in deeply. Luke continued to sing, but he pulled her up quickly and they danced together, it was a mess of rocking together and lots of spinning on Y/N’s part while Luke jumped up and down still having to play. Reggie came in and joined them, and he and Alex shared a look. They all jumped around in a circle and Y/N jumped onto the couch singing along with the chorus.

“Shine together bright forever!” Y/N picked up her water bottle using it as a mic. Luke couldn’t keep his eyes off her, she was electric. 

“In times that I doubted myself, I feel like I needed some help,” Luke sang and the only instrument playing was coming from the piano. Luke walked up to the couch below Y/N and they stared at each other.

“Stuck in my head, with nothing left,” Luke sang to her. Julie shot Y/N a look telling her to sing with him.

“And when I feel lost and alone, I know that I can make it home,” Y/N sang nervously fearing she’d mess up the words, but Luke just smiled at her and Y/N instantly felt at ease. Y/N looked away from Luke for a minute nodding at Julie and they sang together.

“Fight through the dark, and find the spark!!” Julie raising her voice and held out the note. Luke still couldn’t pull his gaze away and he lifted Y/N off the couch spinning her and making her squeal, she was set on the ground and she started dancing again. 

“We will fight to shine together! Bright forever!” They all sang out and the song ended. Y/N laughed with glee and jumped up and down.

“You guys are amazing!” She smiled at Alex and hit Reggie’s shoulder, feeling at home with the guys already, even if they only met a few minutes ago. 

“I’m gonna run inside the house and grab some snacks and we can hang out!” Luke ran to the door and exited. Y/N laughed, he didn’t even ask if she was free, she was but still. She enveloped Julie in a hug and they laughed together. Y/N’s phone rang in her pocket and she pulled it out and looked at the screen, her mom was calling. A deep frown set into her face and she clutched the phone.

“I’m gonna take this,” She said and made her way out sitting against the stone wall and taking a deep breath trying to prepare herself. She hit the answer button and held the phone to her ear.

“Hello?” She whispered.

“Y/N Y/L/N, you need to get home right now, you have been gone long enough. Get over yourself, you will not become an artist and you will do what we say we are your parents,” Y/N’s mom and dad said, not even letting Y/N get a word in. She breathed in deeply and shut her eyes tight willing herself not to cry.

“Mom, Dad, I’m not coming home,” Y/N got out her voice faltering. Her dad scoffed.

“Don’t be ridiculous you will come home immediately,” Her mom sighed. Y/N shook her head even though her parents couldn’t see.

“I’m not coming home not again and not ever, not until you support me,” she almost lost herself there but she shut her eyes again keeping the tears at bay, she wouldn’t cry for something she needed to do.

“I’m gonna be staying somewhere else from now on, I’ve already got all the stuff that I need and you won’t see me again until I prove you wrong.”

“People will like my art and even if they don’t I like my art and it’s what I’m passionate about and I won’t stop, I won’t give up, I can’t,” Y/N hung up the phone not even giving them a chance to respond, she clicked into her settings turning off her location and stuck her phone next to her. She brought her knees to her chest and she breathed deeply, she heard someone taking a seat next to her, she didn’t look assuming it was Julie.

“I know what it’s like,” Luke laid his head against the wall and put his hands at his sides. Y/N’s head shoots towards Luke.

“It’s you! I thought you were Julie,” Y/N said. Luke started to get up.

“I’m so sorry I’ll go,” he stood up all the way. Y/N grabbed his hand and pull him back down they were now sitting shoulder to shoulder and looking at each other. Y/N breathed in deeply again the tears finally going away.

“Stay.”

“I didn’t mean to eavesdrop drop, by the way,” Luke laid his hand on top of her hesitantly. She laughed shaking her head.

“It’s okay, can you tell me about it?” She asked him referring to what he said earlier. He nodded slowly trying to articulate what he was thinking.

“Okay, but bear with me I’m gonna start at the beginning,” he stated and Y/N intertwined their finger hoping to make him more comfortable.

“My mom and dad bought me my first guitar when I was about 8,” he started squeezing her hand.

“When you said beginning I didn’t think it’d be beginning, beginning,” she laughed. He sent her an annoyed look and she giggled laying her head on his shoulder.

“They didn’t get me into lessons but my neighbor ended up teaching me, I knew immediately that music was what I wanted to do and my parents didn’t quite feel the same but they let me continue playing regardless, but then I started a band called Sunset Curve when I was fifteen, that’s when they tried to take my guitar away,” he deflated slightly and Y/N nestled into him a bit more.

“Of course I hid it where we were practicing and didn’t tell them where, but the fights got so bad that I ran away, on Christmas Eve.”

“Now I’m staying here, but I get how it feels to not be supported by the ones who matter most, so if you need someone who knows what you’re going through you can come to me if you want,” he said facing her as she took her head off his shoulder. They were centimeters apart at this point, they were practically breathing in each other’s air.

“You’re staying at Julie’s?” She asked their noses almost touching.

“Yeah in the loft with Alex, he’s not living at home either, his parents weren’t cool after he came out to them,” he said sadly his eyes fluttering shut. She studied his face, he had freckles that you could only see close up, and there was a small scar just on the bridge of his nose.

“It’s cool that you guys have each other,” Y/N interlocked both their hands.

“You could have us too,” he whispered. “If you want us.”

“I’d really like that I think,” she moved in closer, her lips ghosting over his as he whispered, “I’m glad you want me, us.” They knew each other better than anyone, sure they hadn’t been together long but they’d seen into each other's world through music and writing and art, they saw the most intimate parts of each other. A crash from the garage and Alex fell through the crack in the door and he shot up looking like a deer in headlights. Luke and Y/N jumped away from each other and Y/N hit her bike knocking it over and the contents of her other bag on it spilled out, a mess of clothes and tampons came out and Luke looked horrified. His eyes fell upon a single bra and he stumbled back covering his eyes. Alex ran back into the studio slamming the door behind him. Y/N quickly scooped up her stuff putting it back into her bag making sure to zip it up this time. Luke still was on the ground covering his eyes.

“You can look now,” Y/N let out an airy laugh. Luke shook his head.

“I’m too embarrassed,” he sat up still covering his eyes. Y/N scooted over to him so that she was sitting in front of him on her knees, she brought her hands up to his slowly moving them away. She and Luke looking into one another’s eyes for the millionth time that night. She slowly tore her gaze away and stood up.

“I should probably go find a hotel to stay at,” she whispered picking up her bike. Luke jumped up grabbing her wrist.

“You can stay here! I mean if it’s okay with Julie, we’ll have to ask,” he said holding onto her hands and grinning at her.

“It’s okay with me!” They heard Julie’s voice from inside the studio. Y/N laughed pulling Luke into a tender hug, he didn’t hesitate to wrap his arms around her hips. She rested her head in the crook of his neck and whispered, “Thank you for everything Luke.”

“You’re welcome,” he kissed the top of her head lightly pulling her in tighter. Drops of rain began to dribble into them until it was a downpour. Luke tried to pull her inside but Y/N pulled him back and they spun together in the rain. Y/N let out a joyful and bubbly laugh that had Luke laughing along with her.

“Sing to me music man,” Y/N spun Luke around and dipped him. He grinned at her and began to sing.

“You’re just too good to be true,” they spun together again.

“Can’t take my eyes off of you, you’d be like heaven to touch, I wanna hold you so much,” Luke spun Y/N in and they rocked together. Y/N slid her arms up around Luke’s shoulders and they smiled at each other.

“At long last has arrived and I thank God I’m alive,” he smiled to himself at the line. Y/N spun away and jumped in the rain and a puddle of water exploded under her baby blue converse.

“You’re just too good to be true, Can’t take my eyes off of you,” and the lyrics were true for Luke he could pull his gaze from the magnetic girl in front of him. She held out her hand and Luke grasped it as she spun in her back hitting Luke’s chest. Luke sang more to her and he was almost to the chorus now.

“There are no words left to speak. But if you feel what I feel, please let me know that it’s real.”

“You’re just too good to be true, can’t take my eyes off of you,” Luke hummed and Y/N got ready to sing the chorus with him.

“I love you, baby!” They both sang out at the top of their lungs.

“And if it’s quite alright, I need you baby! To warm a lonely night!” Y/N sang out Luke practically had heart eyes. This wasn’t like before in the studio during Bright, Y/N wasn’t hesitant at all she had the aura of a thousand burning stars and the confidence to show it.

“I love you, baby! Trust in me when I sayyy!” Y/N sang again and Luke continued this time.

“Oh, pretty baby! Don’t bring me down I pray,” Luke spun down onto his knees and held his hands out to Y/N.

“Oh, pretty baby, now that I found you, stay! And let me love you, baby!” Luke sang pulling Y/N in they were once again close, chest to chest the rain streaming down their faces and their foreheads pressed together.

“Let me love you,” Luke sang in a whisper. Y/N hooked her arms around his neck and their lips were close, but not close enough to connect.

“You’re just too good to be true...” He closed in, their lips connecting for half a second but once again they were interrupted by a car beeping from in front of the house. Y/N pulled away quickly and tucked a lock of hair behind her ear.

“That’s probably Julie’s dad with the pizza,” Luke said sadly knocking on the white door for the rest of the teens to come out.

“That was quite the show you two put on,” Reggie said as they came out. Y/N blushed which is something she didn’t normally didn't do so you knew she was very embarrassed.

“Shut up, dude,” Luke punched Reggie’s shoulder. They all began walking to the house, the rest of the teens holding umbrellas but Luke and Y/N were still exposed to the weather. They lagged behind a bit and Y/N took Luke’s hand into hers. They got to the door and they were the only ones out there. The rain pitter-pattered against the covering of the porch. Y/N and Luke faced each other and Y/N smiled at him.

“Thanks again for everything, Luke.”

“It’s my pleasure,” Luke stepped up to her.

“How did you know that was my favorite song?” She grinned at him.

“I have my ways, star,” he cooed and Y/N smiled at the nickname. She stood on her toes and pecked him on the cheek and she dashed inside. Luke stood there alone and touched his cheek softly and grinned, she’d be the death of him, but he was ready to do anything for her. He was falling, and falling hard for that matter.

-

Thank you for reading and let me know if you want a part two, and feel free to enter my taglist link in bio!