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Bang bang
I hit the ground.
He lighted his cigarette and looked at me.
“Ya want sum?” he said to me. I nodded and he leisurely passed it to me.
I sighed as I smoked it. “I’ve never felt like this before.” I said.
“How so?”
“Seasons change you know? I change. I’m not the same. I never thought I’d start smoking cigarettes.”
He looked at me and took the cigarette outta my hand. “What do you mean exactly?”
Staring at the parking lot, I explained: “You know that I did weed and that shit but never nicotine. My father did it all the fucking time. Man was so crazy for it that whenever we’d tell him to quit smoking he would make empty promises. Hated him for that. Lied to us for all his life. And that’s how it brought me to hate nicotine.” looking back at him, I see him already staring at me. “Now, I smoke it once in a while. Should I be ashamed?”
He got a long hit and then answered: “Nah, doll. Look. When I was five, I used to stay at my pops and I knew that he always had a gun somewhere hidden in the house. Every Sunday I’d hear bangs coming from the backyard. In the morning I’d see dry blood in the yard. This went on for three years. None stop. And I never questioned my father’s decisions. But oh, how did I hate him for making them. Guess we all went through sumthin that traumatized us.”
I stared at him and hesitantly asked him “Do you still hear the bangs?”
He sadly smirked and looked up to the sky while responding to me with: “I hear Bang Bang every Sunday night. And I wake up scared to find dried blood in the backyard.”
I curiously asked: “Didn’t you even have the urge to ask him why he did that?”
“Of course I did, doll. I knew I’d get a beating because of it so I shut my mouth, forced my eyes closed and pushed myself to sleep with the bangs.”
I slowly slid to him and hugged him tightly. “I’m so sorry, Wood. Why did you have to go through all that at such a young age?”
“One of us should suffer in this life babe. And God said it was my turn. Gotta accept it doll. Now don’t get sad because of me” He tilted his head down to take a look at me and he saw the tears that were shedding from my eyes. I sadly looked back at him and said: “You’re my baby boy. I love you. With my whole heart.”
“I love you Doll.”
In the darkness of night I swear I can feel you next to me. It breaks my heart when I wake up only to see a half empty bed and the tear stains I made when you left. It hurts even more knowing I won't hear from you for months. Don't forget what you've left behind.
Stay safe at boot camp
My Son Curtis graduated high school May 24, 2024. He plans to join the US Army, and leaves for basic training in July. Sadly, I missed this graduation unfortunately. He lives with my ex-wife his mother, and we have not gotten along in years. She has done everything in her power to blame our divorce on me to my kids, and I do claim my part, but it takes two to make or brake a relationship.