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I'll have a bit of a real talk rn.
CW: Mental health stuff just for the sake of talking about it. (Nothing bad, just saying its there lmao)
But. Coming across these pieces that'd tingle parts of me I'd so easily forget... Its making me go through a sort of realization. While yes, I am very logistic based and will do any task with ease as long as they're tactile and brief. But throughout my life. Living with a disorganized attachment, having gone through different arrays of trauma,, all so much as my brain'd be at a constant fog. I hate opening up into these subjects when it comes to myself; I've never liked the idea of burdening anyone with these pieces I'd so easily tone down anyways thanks to my constant absence. But coming across these makes me scratch the surface. Quite about everything is locked, even to myself. Its scary, its concerning and makes me tremble. But it gives me courage.
Its such a daunting thing to even think that this fog would ever dissipate. But I want to express as freely. Always has it been a taboo, I've convinced myself— I just.. Crossed a fantastical oath to never speak of these occurrences because... Why would anyone want to hear of these? Being honest, not even I know what I'm speaking of. I just know that I was itching to let it out.
Why am I speaking of this publicly with no worry? Another case of brain fog. I only hear 'them' as I type, no notion of any other emotion. I hope this finds you well.
Perhaps I'll stop trembling so much.