Don’t Hide It! Fucking Embrace It! Own It! Now Show Me, Baby Girl! Share It All With Me! I Want To

I just want to tell you, this is the best blog I’ve ever come across. Your words are like poetry.

Awww. Thank you so much! I’m glad you enjoy it! Your message started my day off with a smile! 😍

can i ask you for advice? if not that's okay too, i understand. but its my fourth anniversary with my bf tomorrow, and i can't help but feel depressed about it, and i can't talk to him, because he'll feel as though its a dig at him/his fault.

i was only 19 when we met, and recently turned 20 when we got together. I feel regretful (is that a word?) about entering into a relationship at that stage in my life. even though everything is swell, and the life we have is wonderful, probably what most people hope for, i mourn the life i could have had. im 24 and instead of being out with friends all the time, or working to travel and explore new things, or be in school, my life is filled with monotony. work, eat, sleep, repeat. all my money goes towards bills. all my free time goes towards cleaning and chores. which yeah i know welcome to adulthood, blah, but i never got to have an adolescence, and i don't know how to process that. im trying to get us to take trips this year, and live our lives, but he seems to be dragging his feet about it as though he doesn't really want to do anything. Which im struggling with, because im tired of doing nothing but work and chores. -❣❣❣

Thank you for the ask and I’m happy to offer what help I can. I’m sorry you are struggling with this. It’s something I can certainly sympathize with and feel very deeply about based on my own past experiences. It’s a tough situation for you and I hope sharing your struggles helps lighten them some.

So let me address this in two parts. The first I’d like to talk about is not feeling like you can bring this to your partner. It is really important to have a relationship where both partners feel they can be open and feel safe with each other. Even for the tough conversations. I think you should share your feelings with your partner but maybe phrase it terms of “Hey these are some things I really wish we would do together. Can you help me figure out how to make that happen? Do you want to share them with me?” That way you are trying to draw them in to help you succeed rather than feeling like they are the roadblock. It can be tricky to do but give it some thought and maybe try it. If you don’t think that will work or that they will take it as a personal attack either way then I think you have some relationship issues that go even deeper and you should consider if there is a way to heal those or if it is salvageable. I know it can be really hard to talk about these things but sometimes it’s better than letting it all fester and seethe under the surface. That just leads to an even more unhealthy relationship. And if you can’t work through that stuff together then it might be time for you both to follow your own new paths separately. Does that make sense?

So now let me get to the part about you feeling regretful about your relationship and how it has impacted your life. You are so young and should be able to go out and travel and live your life as you desire. Find your passion and focus on that. Don’t let life suck you in to the never ending cycle of work sleep repeat. There is so much more to life than that and you need to find and follow the path that speaks to your heart. What are you passionate about? What do you wish you could spend your time on? That’s where you should focus. And honestly your partner should want that for you and you should want that for them. The challenge can sometimes be that you and your partner have completely different interests and desires. If that’s the case then you have to be ok with doing completely different things separately. That takes trust and if you don’t have that then it’s really hard because partners can get jealous and feel left out, etc. You honestly have to love yourself and be secure in yourself for that to work well and most people aren’t. So I’d say give it a test run, come up with a plan, a short day trip or something. Present it to your partner and if your partner doesn’t want to come then say ok, that’s fine, you don’t have to go but this is something I need to do for me. Take the trip and see how you both handle it. You may have to reassure them that you love them and that this is for you. But hopefully they will be supportive. If they aren’t, if they try to undermine your plans, express jealousy, or other negative reactions then you need to take a hard look at the relationship and decide if this is what you want for yourself.

I know I’m getting long winded here but I think it’s a really important thing you are facing. Relationships should be mutually supportive. You are there to help each other succeed. You should want to help each other grow and learn and embrace life. We each have our own paths to follow in life. When we find a partner we hope that we will share our paths but that isn’t always the case. Our paths may only be shared briefly, or they could be for years. I think it’s important to accept that as we grow and learn we also change. And sometimes we change in ways that take us away from our partner. That’s not necessarily a bad thing. It’s a part of life and ultimately you have to focus on your own growth and learning and change. You shouldn’t sacrifice your own dreams and desires for the sake of your partner and they should never want you too. Maybe try having a discussion with your partner about what their dreams or goals are. Do they have a bucket list? Can you find some common ground in shared things you want to do and can discussing them motivate your partner to take action and do them with you. If that doesn’t work then I think you still need to pursue your own dreams and desires either way. Take charge of your life and move it in the direction you want it to go. You don’t want to look back in 20, 30,40 years and regret the trips you didn’t take. Hopefully your partner will embrace that and support you and if not then you really need to consider if they are the right partner for you. And don’t forget to give them the same opportunities you want for yourself. Hopefully you can both grow together and if not then don’t let them hold you back from living the life you desire.

I hope all this makes sense and helps some. You are welcome to message me anytime, anon or not. Sometimes we just need a friend to talk with. In the meantime I’m sending you lots of love and good energy!

One happy girl! Someone had lots of fun on our run today.

And what makes you think I want you to behave, baby girl? I want you unable to control yourself. I want you aching for me, craving my kisses and touch. I want you unable to concentrate at work because you’re day dreaming of my hands caressing your body and driving you wild. I want your body tingling at just the thought of our making love. I want to feel your passion and need in your kisses as you walk in the door and I wrap you in my arms. I want to feel your hunger and need as you crawl across my lap and straddle me, little hands fumbling with my pants so you can finally feel me slipping inside of you. I want you misbehaving and acting out for daddy’s attention until I have to put you across my lap and spank you, before sinking my fingers inside of you and make you gasp and moan and gush for me until you can think of nothing but your need. Then taking you with all my hunger and desire for you. Making sure you feel it all. Feeling so connected to you as I slip inside of you and our energies merge and swirl together. Bodies and minds exploding with sensations, with pleasure, with such intensity. Getting lost in it all until we explode together, collapsing in a spent heap, tangled, caressing and kissing softly, deeply. No baby girl, the last thing I want is for you to behave!

I like you too much to behave ❤️

Can I tempt you with my words, written and whispered?  Can I make you burn with desire and ache for more?  I want to find that spot, that place you keep hidden in that beautiful mind of yours!  The one with all your desires and fantasies, deep and dark!  Let my words stroke you and caress you like the tips of my fingers or the soft flesh of my lips!  Let me draw out those desires, let me tease them from your depths and make your body quiver with anticipation, and need!  I want you desperate for me, craving me, dripping for me, always wanting more!  I want to keep you hungry, not by starving you, but by filling you to overflowing with my words and thoughts!  With all the things I crave to do to and with you, with all the ways I want and ache for you!  I want you hungering for more as I tempt and tease you!

His role is to make her feel safe. To give her a space where she can be her true self. Where she doesn’t have to hide how she feels, what she desires, what’s in her heart. Where she doesn’t have to fear judgement or silly conventions. His role is to release her from those fears. To give her a place where she can thrive as the beautiful individual she is. To teach her and guide her to be the best self she can be. To love her and support her unconditionally.

If you can give her this. Be this for her. Then she may grace you with the gift of her submission! You do not demand it. You do not take it from her. You have to earn it and if you prove yourself worthy it is the most beautiful and precious gift that she can give you!

“His role…to make sure she doesn’t over think.”

—

Have you ever made anyone cum to stop their cramps?

Yes, I have! Both with fingers and playing and with sex! I know that doesn’t work for everyone but I am more than happy to do anything I can to help alleviate some of the pain and I’ll jump at any opportunity I get to make my baby girl cum!

What a perfect evening together. Baby girl curled up on the couch next to daddy. Your beautiful luscious body laid bare for me to savor as you lay back against me. How I love to run my hands, my fingertips slowly over every delicious curve of your body. Tell me baby, do you like the feel of my fingertips circling your nipple? Gently caressing and teasing it hard? Your soft moans and gasps tell me all I need to know. Your fluttering eyelids and the squirming of your legs tell me all I need to know. Do you like the feel of my strong rough hands slipping along the curve of your ass and thighs? Feeling my hands massage, gripping, claiming every inch of you? Or do you prefer the lightest flicker of a touch from my fingers? Brushing so lightly over your skin, teasing you with the gentlest brush against your most sensitive spots? Do you like how I stroke your hair? Fingers slipping through your soft locks, brushing your hair out across my lap. Brushing it from your forehead, away from your ears. Fingers gently massaging your scalp or lightly tracing the curve of your ear. The slow steady caress of daddy, always touching you, always soothing, always teasing. Smiling softly to myself as I feel you get lost in the sensations. Loving the time to spoil you with attention and affection. If you only knew that it is as soothing to me as it is to you. My happy place there with you always, baby girl!

My mood tonight, introspective, craving quiet intimacy and connection! Sitting by the fire, watching the embers smolder and the wood burn! Why do the glowing embers always entrance me? Why is that so captivating? A beautiful full moon on a crisp cold night! Aching to be curled up under the blankets with you tonight, baby girl! My arms wrapped around you, your body warm and close, snuggled up against me! Soft whispers and warm kisses, fingers caressing, hands exploring. Laying quiet in the dark, savoring the beauty of the night and the closeness together! I need that, baby girl! I need you! Where are you and why aren’t you here?

This is a great list and so very true. You find a lot of this toxicity in Dd/lg and D/s relationships too. It is so important to establish a healthy relationship no matter what relationship type you are in. It is important that your partner is always respectful of you, your needs, your boundaries, your goals in life and that they always support your personal growth. If your partner doesn’t do this for you then you need to rethink your relationship. If you can’t do this for your partner then you need to work on your own issues and trauma first. There’s nothing cool, sexy or romantic about toxic habits. Build good relationships, respect yourself and your partner. Always!

What I mean when I say "toxic monogamy culture"

the normalization of jealousy as an indicator of love

the idea that a sufficiently intense love is enough to overcome any practical incompatibilities

the idea that you should meet your partner’s every need, and if you don’t, either you’re inadequate or they’re too needy

the idea that a sufficiently intense love should cause you to cease to be attracted to anyone else

the idea that commitment is synonymous with exclusivity

the idea that marriage and children are the only valid teleological justifications for being committed to a relationship

the idea that your insecurities are always your partner’s responsibility to tip-toe around and never your responsibility to work on

the idea that your value to a partner is directly proportional to the amount of time and energy they spend on you, and it is in zero-sum competition with everything else they value in life

the idea that being of value to a partner should always make up a large chunk of how you value yourself