Somehow, This Is The First Time I Figured Out The Sigma Male Community Has Taken Up The Stoic Name As

Their power grows

Classic internet response: "I can bother as many people around me as I want to cuz I have a sacred entitlement to be myself." To a quote about growing as a person while being yourself and not bothering others.

“Seeds do not make a sound when growing, but can even reach the sky. Learn from them.”

— Matshona Dhliwayo

Pictures like these keep me alive.

The thought that they are out there, waiting to be experienced.

If I'm ever asking myself "why am I alive?", I tell myself "To see places like these"

Anyone ever have a day so bad you just start laughing from the absurdity of it?

I remember I had a day that, on paper, was awful. Bike had somehow had both of its wheels punctured, so I had to walk to school (it wasn't too far away from where I lived so if I made haste I wouldn't be late). While I'm walking, Aeolus decides to do everything in his power to ensure I fail. It was like walking against a leafblower, only bigger and proportinally stronger. However, while I pass the only place on the route where there are puddles, a truck speeds by, splashing a small tsunami directly at me. By this point I'm in a seriously bad mood, but it gets worse, as the moment I step foot on school grounds I trip on dogshit and fall in the earth-mud combination that the ground has become after yesterdays rainfall. On the way home I pass under a tree and I kid you not, like 3 acorns fall on my head and fall down my clothes, (these were like, decently heavy, not enough to hurt me but enough to be uncomfortable to be hit by). Then, when I get home, I realise I have lost my keys. By this point I am barely holding it together, but I can still go to my grandparent's house to get a spare and return it. Annoying, yes, but better than standing around in dirty clothes waiting for someone to come home. When I make it up there, I realise that they aren't home either, so I go to retrieve the spare key for their home, and after getting in, i realise that I don't actually know where their keys are. I call my grandmother, and she reveals that alas! The spare key is with them, as they use 1 keychain for all their keys. This was the point when the entire situation became so absurd that I just began laughing at it all, full on belly laughing at how comically unfortonate the day had been. I laughed most of the way home (it's a fairly short walk), and then it happened. As I got home to wait, my mom opened the door. She had been working from home all day, and heard me try to open the door but had been in the bathroom, and by the time she unlocked it I was already off to get the spare key. When I heard this I laughed hysterically she got genuinely worried, and then I showed her the back of my clothes and explained the entire thing, after which we both laughed like hell about it.

So it was a good day in practice, haha

On temptation

Temptation is a word that is loved to death by christians, but is actually used to describe any old impulse the body or mind may have. Temptation is wanting to eat all the time. Temptation is the desire to lay in bed on a monday morning. Temptation, temptation, temptation. The thing is, though, that temptation also has a different meaning, which is the 'actual' definition of it: Being tempted (be it by yourself or others) to do some thing. Horrible explanation, so let me use an example: If you want to stop cracking your knuckles, a christian would say that cracking your knuckles is a form of temptation. But I would say (not from stoicism in particular) that temptation was the feeling you get when you don't crack your knuckles and you then start wanting to. That's temptation. This kind of temptation is directly linked to dicipline, and it can be used to train your dicipline.

Instead of avoiding temptation, you have to expose yourself to it in a controlled amount. If you just supress your desires (which come from a natural place way most of time), you will not achieve anything and it will bounce back some way or another. But if you instead tempt yourself on purpose, imagining and telling yourself how easy it would be, you will build up your own dicipline, especially if/when your brain takes it up as a habit in itself. Train it up, see what happens!

Taxes?

Why I think self-pity is the bane of our joy

Stoicism is an old philosophy which is only now starting to have a modern rennecaince with new ideas and concepts. This is great, because it allows us to develop brand new doctrine to fit the world around us, and terrible, because it means we don't have the answer for everything. However, one of the things that are being explored the most as of now is self-pity. This is a very prevalent state of mind in the western world, where it has become so common to complain about the small things that it can seem almost competitive.

Our ability to complain has combined with our ever-rising standard of living to create cartoonish complaints that we are gasping to share with the world around us, who are trying to voice their complaints. As Vers writes: "Alle kalder ud, men ingen gider at svare" (Everybody needs to be heard, but nobody is willing to listen). This has lead Neils Overgaard, a man I deeply respect and look up to, to create what he calls the "immigrant test": Basically, you take whatever thing is bothering you in the moment, and you imagine that you have to tell it to a mother of 5 children who has left Sudan, crossed the Sahara, been illegally exported across the Mediterranean, and finally landed in Greece, ready to live out the rest of her life at the lowest bottom of our society. Your task is now to look her in the eyes, and tell her about the problem that is letting you down, and if you think you can do that, THEN it is worth thinking about.

Self-pity is not the same as complaining, though. I would argue that self-pity is what happens when you systematically feel rightious to complain and the world around you validates this feeling. And what you're doing on a psychological level is train your mind to focus on the negatives and hold on to them, so that you can pass them on to others. Surely, my friends, a brain that only notices and focuses on the bad things is not a happy one, right?

So how do YOU avoid self-pity and the need to complain in general? Well, you're not out of options (though it may be tempting to say that you are). In this post, my advice will be to FORTIFY. Back in the day, people used to say "man up", but that's kinda turned into a toxic thing that means "push it down", and it's also only for men. So now we have the new word "fortify", which is much better. How do you fortify? That's up to you, but it should ultimately make you a more emotionally resilient person. Focusing on the next step can be a great way of fortifying, for example:

Your car breaks down on your way to work. You are going to be late. Do you: A. Have your mood be ruined over the situation, complain to your boss when they ask you why you are late, and get pissy when you get the repair bill? B. Accept that the situation is out of your hands, focus on getting your car towed and finding another way to get to work, and calmly explain to your boss that your car broke down and you still showed up ready to work?

It's entirely up to you, but option B is not only a calmer, more pleasant way to handle the situation, but it also makes you a more resilient being in the future, because your brain will recognise your handling of the situation and be calmer the next time something unpredictable comes up, thus marking the start of a good spiral.

There will be more in the next post, to make it easier to digest.

Love you all! - Anthony

I doubt he cares but the sentiment is correct. You are bolstering and enforcing real sickness from people around you by promoting ED. Shame on you.

i always think about how ed sheeran must feel about the tag #ednotsheeran

Stoic excercise: The reverse marshmellow test

Time to train up some dicipline! Remember that real dicipline isn't about muscular men at the gym, or soldiers obeying orders. True dicipline is personal and comes from within yourself, and nobody can force self-dicipline upon you (hence the name). The reverse Marshmellow test Take a piece of candy, chocolate, marshmallow, whatever you want to have. It doesn't have to be candy. It can be anything, so long as you desire it in the moment. Place either 1 or 2 pieces in front of you.

Should you pick 2 pieces: Allow yourself to take one, WITHOUT guilt. You are mature enough to make your own decisions and guilt is the bane of happiness. Set an arbitrary amount of time for yourself. It shouldn't be too long, because this is an active excercise that will take the time you set for yourself. I'd recommend 15 minutes AT MOST, but 2 minutes is much more reasonable. Even just 40 seconds is great! Now place the two pieces in front of you, sit down, and don't do anything. Neither productive nor unproductive. You may let your thoughts run as wild as you like, but you physically have to sit and look at the two pieces (this is the only reason why you shouldn't go for more than 15 minutes. It may take out a chunk of your day if you go any higher). If you manage to wait the time you set for yourself without taking the first piece, you may take the second. You don't have to eat it, but if you do, you can do it with a feeling that you 100% entirely earned that piece. Should you pick 1 piece: Put the piece in front of you and set some amount of time for yourself. Sit down and look at the piece. You don't have to clear your mind, but you may not do any chores/actions, practical or otherwise. You might notice that you aren't focusing on your piece, but instead practical work to do or just whatever it is your brain is thinking of. This is okay. Let the brain do what it wants, this is natural and healthy for a mind to do. It will eventually get these small 'chores' done and you will either be at rest or back to focusing on the piece. It's boring, but just keep waiting until the time is up. When the time is up, take your piece and eat it if you feel like it.

Bonus challenge! Try to convince yourself in your mind to take the piece early, or that you're just wasting your time by sitting idle (you're not, and believe me when I say that you waste much, much more time on other things).

(mid-challenge) What if I rationally don't want to do this anymore, and I'm starting to feel uninvested/in a worse mood? Fair enough! This may happen if the time that was set is too long. Here's what you do in the situation: You cancel the excercise. You haven't done anything wrong and you shouldn't feel guilt or shame. In at least an hour or so, you can try the excercise again if you'd like, with a shorter time. Finally, remember that 30 seconds isn't a bad time, and isn't important how long you can go for. You just have to be willing to challenge yourself with your time.

In Denmark, we have a popular song which has the line "Man siger efter stormens pisken kommer solen frem, men den hjælper sjældent dem der er blevet våde", which basically means "After the storm the sun comes out, but it rarely helps those who became soaking wet".

When your life stabilises it doesn't mean you should suddenly feel alright. It means you can now BEGIN to heal and dry off.

You don't have to force yourself to bounce back so quickly. I read something recently that said "when you come in from a rainstorm, you don't expect yourself to be dry and warm right away", and it really resonated with me. It's okay to take time to dry off and warm up. Take the time you need to process what happened to you.