Short DPXDC Prompts #489

here's the thing, I fully believe that Alastor is aroace, but I also believe that he would commit to dating someone if he thought that doing so would be really entertaining. like absolutely Al hates Vox, but if he discovered that calling Vox "babe" made him consistently short-circuit and fry any other nearby VoxTek, I think he would seriously consider starting to call Vox "babe" just to get to see him bluescreen and wreck his own tech

The Kiss of Life - A utility worker giving mouth-to-mouth to co-worker after he contacted a low voltage wire, 1967

When I was a kid, my mom was a judge and my dad was starting his solo practice, and they both worked full time. There were four of us kids between the ages of one and seven (the Just Us League) and no decent daycares nearby, so they hired a nanny.  She had three almost-adult children, and on days when she couldn’t work, one of her kids would substitute. The oldest kid was named Bob, age 18, and he had just finished army basic training when this all went down. Bob did not have the good sense god gave a rock. 

I have an older brother, Jake, who was seven; then me, Hellen, age five, then Seth, age three, and my little sister Gin would have been one. It was late August, and we were at our nanny’s house, though she was gone for the day. Bob was in charge.

Bob should probably not have been in charge.

Bob tried keeping us entertained with board games and tag and movies. Gin took a nap. Eventually he decided to get creative, and sat us down in the living room with a game and vanished into the garage. There was a smashing sound. And then some saw noises. And then some hammering. And then we saw him going around the house to the back yard through the windows, though we were too short to see what he was doing. And finally, he yelled to us to come out into the driveway. 

Jake and Seth and I trooped out. Bob had both hands behind his back. He stepped up to Jake and revealed what he had in his right hand. 

It was a wooden sword. It was clearly made from what appeared to be parts of a chair’s legs, cut down and nailed together. He presented this, and announced, “You are Sir Jake, the strongest knight!” 

He stepped up to Seth and presented what was in his left hand. It was another wooden sword, smaller than the first, also crudely made out of chair legs. He announced, “You are Sir Seth, the bravest knight!”

At this point, I was practically vibrating in place, waiting eagerly for my sword so I could use it to whale on my brothers, as god intended me to do. I was therefore understandably disappointed to be presented with the business end of a garden hose and told, “You are Miss Hellen, the Water Fairy!”

“No,” I said. “I want a sword.”

Bob was confused. “But you get water magic! Magic’s great!”

“No.” I repeated, holding the hose. It had a spray nozzle set to jet. “I want a sword.”

“Magic’s great. Magic’s better than a sword.” Bob insisted. “You’ll see. Wait here a moment.”

And then Bob ran around the side of house and vanished. 

We stood in the driveway. Jake and Seth poked each other with their swords. I spritzed them idly with the hose, trying to decide which of them would be easier to steal a sword from. 

And then we heard a quiet wooshing noise, and smelled smoke. 

We turned. As we watched, a line of fire rushed around the corner of the house, consuming a path of gasoline poured into the dry August grass. 

We paused and considered this for a few moments. I raised the hose and sprayed a jet of water at the fire. It went out. We glanced at each other. Then we took off running, following the trail of fire, spraying as we went. 

The fire led in a path around the house to the back yard. As we turned the corner, we saw Bob, clad in a bathrobe and holding a curtain rod, standing in the center of a large ring of burning grass. He cackled manically. “I am the FIRE WIZARD! Your puny swords are useless! Nothing but water magic can defeat me!”

I promptly blasted him with the hose. He spluttered. The fire did not go out. 

I turned the hose on the fire itself, spraying a section close to us so that it would extinguish. As soon as there was enough room, Jake charged forward, brandishing his chair leg sword with a battle cry. Seth, always happy to be included, followed. They ran into the circle and began beating Bob around the kneecaps with their swords. I kept spraying. 

Eventually, Bob the Fire Wizard was brought down and all the fire was extinguished. Seth and Jake continued to work on bruising Bob’s shins, and I quickly discarded the hose to lend my fists and extremely pointy elbows to the cause. Bob lay in the smoldering grass, probably regretting using such sturdy chair legs. 

Once we’d all tired ourselves out and lay panting in a heap, Bob decided it was time for the moral of the story. “You see, a sword is nothing compared to the power of a little girl with **magic**.” 

We thought about this for a few moments. Bob nodded wisely. Jake and Seth nodded back. 

“I still want a sword.” I said. 

THANK YOU. Finally someone says it!

I can’t even count the number of fics and hp theories I’ve read that completely ignore this fact. 

I honestly think the reason why so many people forget this is because the characters themselves never acknowledge it. And the fact that most of the people Harry surrounds himself are firmly entrenched in Magical Society. He has a lot of Pureblood allies and friends for example. I don’t think many of them understand just how deep discrimination can go. Nor do I think they understand the difference between being called a blood traitor vs a mudblood. It’s the difference between being sympathetic to muggles rather than actually being related to one and that shit matters. 

They associate anti-Muggle sentiments with Voldemort and the Death Eaters. In their minds, as soon as they’re defeated everything will go back to normal! Normal just being more subtle and unspoken discrimination that can be waved away by the few well-meaning but ignorant Purebloods, “Oh Sally from accounting said something to you? You must’ve misunderstood! I know her very well, she’s no Death Eater.” 

I’ve lost my point, if you can’t tell I’m really interested in the politics behind hp discrimination, I’m very sad that there aren’t more fics about it pre and post-Voldemort. But back to Tom. 

Another factor is the fact that Dumbledore canonically theorizes Tom had a gang of Slytherins following him called the Knights of Walpurgis (KoW) during school. I think that bit of canon is absolute garbage and I hate it because as you said: he’s perceived Muggleborn. I swear every time I read a fic with this ‘gang’ that isn’t a crack fic I want to scream. 

You’re telling me that this man worked in customer service for years voluntarily? When he had like 5 Sugar Daddies on speed-dial? Honey, please. Magic I can rationalize but KoW is just straight up unrealistic. 

Also, fun fact Dumbledore 100% knew Tom wasn’t a Muggleborn because of his Parseltongue abilities (or at least suspected). This man let Tom be discriminated against and did not say a WORD. Nor did he attempt to help find Tom’s family. And poor feral baby Tom probably didn’t tell another soul about his ability to speak to snakes during school because of Dumbledore’s reaction when he told him. 

Considering his Catholic upbringing in addition to Dumbledore’s response to learning about his in-built Snake Google Translate, Tom was probably like “Ok so the Magical world also has bad associations with snakes. Good to know.”

And then Tom probably found out Parseltongue was an indicator for Slytherin ancestry during the Chamber fiasco and flipped the fuck out. Because that meant his elitist-ass housemates were disrespecting him in what was essentially his own fucking house??? I’d be mad too if I went to school somewhere where the students worshipped the ground the founder walked on and used the founder’s beliefs to try and prove I didn’t belong. And then discover that I was related to the founder they would use as a reason to bully me? The audacity. I’d implode on the spot. 

(In answer to your last query, I headcanon that his hiatus from Britain was so he could re-brand himself. Tom Riddle was the bullied Slytherin Muggleborn. He had to disappear. Voldemort was the messiah-like cryptid who emerged from the shadows with all of life’s answers. He just needs your first born.)

Tom Riddle, aka, Voldemort was canonically perceived to be a muggleborn for many years before he found out about Merope Gaunt. Because only for muggleborns does a teacher visit the parents/guardian/orphanage. Harry was simply given a letter even though he lived in the muggle world, while McGonagall visited Hermione.

In the same vein, Dumbledore visited Tom’s orphanage to inform him about Hogwarts. 

where am i going with this?

the sorting hat put a perceived muggleborn in Slytherin. Don’t try to tell me that oh no, the sorting hat knows who or what you and your ancestors are. No it doesn’t. It reads your mind. it’s very much possible (and by that, i mean i’m certain) that the gaunts did not attend hogwarts.

He might’ve turned out to be a half blood, but at the time, he was considered muggleborn, both by magic and by himself-even though he hated the thought of it.

there are muggleborns in slytherin.

slytherin is cunning and ambition. not blood purity.

(also, i do not understand how people like the malfoys and the blacks and the lestranges and other blood purity fanatics followed a perceived muggleborn. like did voldy tell them that oh no, i’m a half blood? or was it because he was so charismatic that he made them forget that essentially, he was not a pureblood?)

It should be read from left to right and up to down. My comfort doujinshies. They're so funny. I'd watch them be stupid, my god. Please, look at this and tell me, isn't this what mstans should thrive for instead of being a snater or a self-claimed-not-hp-fan-but-an-mstan type.

These two doujinshies are my oasis in the Sahara of Snape hate. It's so rare to find Snape with marauders in 1 art. My babies. My treasures.

Ps: not my art

*two days into Husk’s contract*

Alastor: Husk, about your soul-

Husk: No returns

Alastor: Please, it’s making me sad

Retired!Pariah Dark AU

Jazz is having the time of her life psychoanalyzing Danny’s rogues and helping them with their troubles. Eventually she even convinces Clockwork to give Dan a chance at redemption. 

Unfortunalety, Jazz doesn’t know when to quit and decides to try her hand at extending a helping hand to someone everyone else labels a lost cause. 

Pariah Dark. 

And it works! Eventually. Somewhat.

Well he won’t be killing anyone or crushing ghost cores, and that’s about all they can ask for. 

Danny is still the king. But Pariah can now give his successor advice on what not to do. Also Danny sometimes throws paperwork duty at Pariah now that Dan’s parole is over and refuses to do it.

In conclusion, Pariah Dark becomes their new grandpa (Clockwork is obviously the weird grunkle) and he has no idea what he’s done to deserve this torture. 

Inspired by @bywolfstar on Tiktok and the lovely art by @krossan

Oh 100%

you know what I'm gonna push for my "Alastor is Eve" headcanon bc even tho it will literally never happen, it's so fucking funny

and actually an interesting concept to explore?

but mostly bc it's funny, I'm gonna answer every mystery about Alastor with "oh that's just bc he's Eve"

why is he so powerful? Eve

why does he have beef with Lucifer even tho they're supposed to have never meet before? Eve

why is he trying to parent Charlie? Eve

episode 8? Eve

everything is possible until we actually see her in canon and I'm going to have fun with this

Art References Tumblr Accounts!

Some of these may be in the wrong category. Some may need to be in another category! Do tell me (either through my ask box or reply) if I need to change or add something! Have fun looking through these accounts!

HUMAN ANATOMY

http://anatomicalart.tumblr.com/

http://amazinglyartisticadvice.tumblr.com/

http://learninganatomy.tumblr.com/

http://artutorials.tumblr.com/

http://referencesforartists.tumblr.com/

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http://ibelievepracticemakesperfect.tumblr.com/

FASHION/CLOTHING

http://lifestylefashion.tumblr.com/

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ANIMATION

http://wannabeanimator.tumblr.com/

http://drawingforsuckas.tumblr.com/

HISTORICAL

http://fuckyeahvintage.tumblr.com/

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http://1920s.tumblr.com/

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ART TIPS/TUTORIAL

http://fyeaharttips.tumblr.com/

http://fuckyeaharttutorials.tumblr.com/

http://art-tutorials.tumblr.com/

http://thecandyjar.tumblr.com/

http://eyecager.tumblr.com/

http://underappreciatedart.tumblr.com/

http://artists-help.tumblr.com/

ART REFERENCES

http://pb-resources.tumblr.com/

http://artreferncesforyou.tumblr.com/

http://simonist.tumblr.com/

http://idlm.tumblr.com/

http://artreferences.tumblr.com/

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http://art-help.tumblr.com/

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ART INSPIRATION

http://pythias.tumblr.com/

http://submit.curioos.com/

http://stoopidanchovy.tumblr.com/

http://artistdirectory.tumblr.com/

http://fuckyeahillustrativeart.tumblr.com/

http://deviantfinds.tumblr.com/

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http://1000reasonsnottostartmakingart.tumblr.com/

http://nightgrain.tumblr.com/

http://kayspiration.tumblr.com/

http://referenceartgallery.tumblr.com/

http://artforadults.tumblr.com/

MISC.

http://attadesign.tumblr.com/

http://digitalgrfx.tumblr.com/

Goncharov (1973) dir. Martin Scorsese

“The greatest mafia movie (n)ever made.”