Jason: *picks Up A Hitchhiker*

I want a superhero movie where the hero dies in the first ten minutes and the woman who was supposed to be the love interest puts on his costume and becomes an even better hero.

No one compares You stand alone, to every record I own Music to my heart that's what you are

During an Overlord Meeting

Random Overlord: So how'd you bag the King of Hell?

Alastor: Well I-

Lucifer: The first time we met he told me to go fuck myself and dropped a piano on my head

Other Overlords: ...

Lucifer: I've been charmed by his audacity ever since

S1E9 TimeTravel AU - Jayce enlists Jinx to blow up the HexGates. Cait and Vi bond over their siblings going crazy. Silco is tired.

Ekko arrives a bit earlier just as Jayce is shooting Viktor in the chest. Jayce gets sent back in time somehow from the combined power of the Z-Drive and the Commune's collective death.

Jayce's consciousness rockets back in time and splices with his younger self just as he's finished 'negotiating' with Silco. Still reeling from his Arcane induced-trauma and killing his partner as well as who knows how many people by proxy, he arrives half feral and about 99.7% convinced he's either hallucinating or in Runeterra's version of Hell.

Jayce, canonically suicidal, Talis comes to the conclusion that he needs to blow up the Hex Gates and that the resulting explosions will either jar him out of his hallucination or finally put him out his misery and let him join Viktor.

Unfortunately, after months spent in isolation in an apocalyptic future, Jayce has gained an unfortunate habit of talking to himself as he figures out problems.

And Silco has been standing there the whole time.

Silco reiterates that he's not going to give up Jinx and Jayce just goes 'I don't give a fuck about her anymore' and attempts to leave.

Silco is absolutely befuddled by Jayce's complete personality change, but refuses to show it. After raising Jinx, he's learned a few methods for bringing people back from the edge. And considering his investment in getting access to the Hex Gates, he is very unwilling to let Jayce just walk away.

Especially when Jayce mentions he's supposed to be dead.

----

Silco convinces Jayce he'll need an explosions expert and that he'd never be able to blow up all the Hex Gates by himself. Jayce holds resentment for Jinx blowing up his partner and pseudo-sister's mom but had calmed down enough to realize that if he was in the past, it would be better to be close to Jinx and prevent history from repeating itself.

Cue Silco and Sevika having to wrangle Arcane-ified Jayce and Shimmered Jinx and prevent them both from causing Hexplosions.

Jayce, dis-illusioned with the Council, decides it would be faster to just pull a Viktor and 'not ask for permission' before destroying Hextech. He tells Silco that if he's willing to help destroy the Hex Gates, he'll give him his nation of Zaun -- and pardon Jinx.

---

Elsewhere, in Piltover, Viktor has collapsed in the lab and entered a coma. There's a strange pattern on his chest and back. Almost as if he'd been shot with a very powerful energy blast from a very large hammer. But no injury, it was as if it had already been healed.

---

When Jinx kidnaps Cait and Vi, Jayce is the one to ask her to spare Cait and let her leave. But also, the one to stop Cait from shooting Jinx.

"Stand down, Sprout."

"What are you doing! She's killed people Jayce."

"So have I. And I need her." Jayce is still suffering hallucinations and time-travel-induced jetlag, so in the tense moment he forget when he is and admits to killing Salo and blowing a hole through Viktor's chest.

Caitlyn is more shocked by the latter, "You-you killed Viktor?" She liked Viktor as a friend, they got along despite their differences. "Why? Why would you do that!"

Jayce, dissociating and in complete sincerity, "Because I needed to save him."

Following that insane response, Jayce slowly walks toward Cait with a pleading look in his eye, "Jinx is going to help me destroy HexTech and then we can save everyone. And then I can focus on curing Viktor!"

Cait looks into Jayce's -her brother's- eyes and understands Vi a little bit more, her desperation to see the good in Jinx.

Caitlyn can see her brother in this stranger's eyes, but he feels miles away. She has no idea how she's going to reach him.

Dick: Uh, Tim, why do you have a gold sticker on your arm?

Tim: Jason’s handing them out.

Damian, showing his arm off proudly: I got the most.

Dick: Um, that’s nice?

Tim: We each get one every time we punch someone in the face on patrol.

Dick: Okay, less nice…

Steph: Jason decided the best way to show his displeasure towards Bruce was to be as petty as possible.

Tim: B said it wasn’t necessary to punch everyone we saw committing crime in the face.

Dick: A bit hypocritical, but continue.

Steph: Jason saw the opening.

Damian: And I won.

During the most poor and homeless period of my life, I had a lot of people get angry with me because I spent $25 on Bath and Body Works candles during a sale. They couldn’t comprehend why the hell I would do that when I had been fighting for months to try and get us on our feet, afford food, and have an apartment to live in.

Those candles were placed beside wherever I slept that night. In the morning, I would move them and set them wherever I’d have to hang out. At one point I carried one around in my purse - one of those big honking 3-wick candles. I never lit them, but I’d open them and smell them a lot.

I credit that purchase with a lot of my drive that got me to where I am today. I had been working tirelessly, 15+ hour days with barely any reward, constantly on the phone or trying to deal with organizations and associations to “get help at”. It’d gone on for almost a year by the end of it, and I was so burnt out, to the point that I would shake 24/7. But I could get a bit of relief from my 3-wick “upper middle class lifestyle” candles. They represented my future goals, my home I wanted to decorate, and how I would one day not be in this mess anymore.

When we moved into the apartment, and our financial status improved, I burned those candles every single day. When they were empty, I cleaned them out, stuck labels on them, and they became the starting point of my really cute organization system I had ALWAYS planned to have.

So whenever I hear about someone very poor getting themselves a treat - maybe it’s Starbucks, maybe it’s a home deco item, maybe it’s a video game… I don’t judge them. I get it. I get that you can’t go without anything for that long without it making you go crazy. You need to pull some joy, inspiration, and motivation from somewhere.

Short DPXDC Prompts #468

Danny is a Chemistry teacher at Gotham Academy. His favorite student is Tim. He shocks the students by teaching and creating a Fear Antitoxin for the kids to learn as part of their curriculum.

harry raised by lily (and petunia...and kinda snape) snippet, first year, “cokeworth coven” (+wbwl?) fanfiction

Severus was a very terrible driver, so Harry was quite grateful when his aunt pushed him into the passenger seat and took the wheel herself. His mother sat in the back of the old sedan with him, quite uninterested in Severus’s foul-mouthed complaints up front, and instead looked encouragingly to her son.

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2004 Batman + Rogues Kids Universe

Joker: Look Batsy we have a Robin too!

Harley: We're a happy family, Batman!

Duela: Hiya!

Batman: Are you alright kiddo?

Duela: Sure. Yesterday I had no family. Now I have parents. *picks a malet* AND WE HAVE FUN! *hits Batman* HAHAHAHA

Batman: I hope this does not become a trend.

-/-

Batman: Penguin, let the hostage go! What's going on with you? Kidnnaping kids isn't really your style.

Penguin: I didn't kidnnaped no one. I was just thinking what is the point of restoring the Cooblepot name if I'm the last Cooblepot? We need to have someone behind, legacy and all. But them it hit me. Did ya know, Batman, that is not uncommon for Penguins to adopt lost chicks.

Batman: You didn't adopt. How could you with your criminal record? You kidnapped him, the boy must be terrifield.

Martin: *writing in his little notebook-necklace* I'm not scared.

Penguin: Wack wack see the lad isn't scared.

Martin: *writing in his notebook* I'm happy. : ) they said I woudn't be adoped but we showed them, right dad?

Penguin: Right on point, little bird.

Batman: I understand you want a family, kid, but someone can't just go to an orphanage and take you.

Martin: *writing* why not? it works

Batman: I'm sorry, kid. But I have to rescue you.

Oswald: You're not taking Martin alway Batman. I'm his dad! *opens his umbrella and flys alway with Martin hugging him*

Martin: *throws a notebook page on Batman's* it says "wack wack".

Batman: That doesn't mean is a trend. It may be a coincidence.

-/-

Riddler: Riddle me this, Batman-

Batman: Not you too.

Riddler: What?

Batman: *points to the kid dressed in question marks who is fighting Dick*

Riddler: What's the problem with Enigma?

Batman: How did you even got that kid? Street kid? Kidnapped from an orphanage because they solved one of your riddles? Their parents weren't good?

Riddler: I'm the one who does the questions here, Batman. But just so you know. None of the above.

Enigma: *they pretend to lose so Dick went to surprise attack Riddler and was surprise attacked, he is now tied to a broken heavy robot he destroyed sulking* I saw that the rogues were getting kids so when I saw Riddler grocery shopping I followed him home and kept asking him to adopt me until he said yes.

Riddler: They were very insistent.

Robin: Wow that's real Arkham behavior of you.

Enigma: Thanks.

Robin: You're welcome. You are really loony.

Batman: I shouldn't try but why?

Enigma: I like riddles and his hair is great.

Riddler: Thank you, your hair is also amazing, sweetie.

Batman: Is someone looking for you?

Enigma: Don't think so.

Batman: Sure. That's my life now.

-/-

Batman: Oh great. Another evil kid and this one is five.

Cluemaster: You see Batman, I couldn't avoid following the trend.

Batman: So you kidnapped a child?

Cluemaster: No. She is my biological kid.

Robin: YOU procreated? How?

Cluemaster: That's suppose to be Batman's job, but since you asked when a man and a woman like each other very much...

Batman: Stop. Let's just go with it.

Cluemaster: Okay. Steph go fight the Boy Wonder, will ya?

Robin: I'm not gonna punch a baby!

Spoiler: *at the same time* Don't wanna.

Cluemaster: Steph we went over it.

Spoiler: Nu-uh.

Cluemaster: Okay, let's start again. Steph tell Batman what you want to be when you grow up.

Spoiler: *smilling* I wanna be a hero like batgirl.

Cluemaster: NOOO.

Batman: *super happy this is actually not another evil kid* I'm sure Batgirl will be really happy that she inspired such a cool hero.

Spoiler: She will?

Batman: Uh-hu.

Cluemaster: Don't encorage her. We are EVIL, Steph. E-V-I-L! Because that's what smart people are and you are smart.

Spoiler: But smart people win and mean guys lose.

Cluemaster: You are grounded!

Spoiler: *cries* 'm not. Batman his stupid puzzle is red. Press the button and instead of going boom everyone goes yay.

Robin: *presses the red button* *the hostages are free* God one, kiddo.

Cluemaster: NOOO. *pulls Steph by the hair* I'm taking you to your room. You are grounded forever.

Batman: Hell no. Robin.

Robin: Yes, Batman?

Batman: Maybe the other rogues were right.

Robin: Gotcha. *they kidnap-adopt Steph*

Very much inspired by that Valentine Pin-Up Alastor merch where the only significant change is him having his bow-tie unclipped.

Anyway, happy valentine day sike, it's Aro week and we are begrudgingly going on dates to help our friends with their heist.