Harry Uses AK 4 Times And Becomes Haunted By A Young Tom Riddle

How I Met Your Brother (DC x DP)

Dan joins the Justice League - not as part of his rehabilitation, but as a reward for doing so well.

Tucker makes the grave mistake of mentioning Dan in front of Jazz. And as an eldest sister myself I would not be happy about an alternate version of my sibling being left completely alone in the world, no support, no family to then be turned into a psychopath. And I would be furious for them to then be imprisoned - not for life but for all time?

However, unlike me, Jazz is the world's foremost authority on ghost psychology. She has Dan out of his Thermos and in a larger enclosure within the week.

Now, a lot of fics have Jazz as a magical therapist who can say a few sentences and make any bad guy cry. Sorry, not today though.

First, they resocialise Dan like a feral cat (solitary confinement does make people get loopy), sitting outside his enclosure and hanging out, doing homework etc. This sort of gets him to figure out emotionally that he's no longer in the timeline where everyone he ever cared about died.

Danny discusses with him how many nightmares he's had over just the idea of losing his entire support network the way Dan did and he can't imagine what he's been through. But no emotions are not, in fact superior to having negative emotions.

After a few months, he decides that he does in fact want to actively try and get better. He goes to a therapist (because family members can't do therapy!!!) who's just unhinged enough to get a kick out of counselling a ghost from an alternate timeline.

There's only one relapse. Clockwork fixed it and they don't talk about it.

A month or so later they let him out of the enclosure for good. They offer to symbolically destroy it but Dan thinks they should keep it just in case.

While Dan's humanity has returned, his actual human half is gone forever. But he's interested in doing something with himself. He can't get a GED, or a degree, or be an astronaut. Maybe something in entertainment?

Tucker makes the grave mistake of mentioning that the Justice League headquarters are in space. Dan isn't as powerful anymore now he's no longer a halfa, but he knows he's handy in a fight. He loves space and due to having them repeatedly and ineffectively implemented against himself - a deep knowledge of international war tactics.

NGL, this isn't where I thought this story was going. But Dan is now an international politics, war policy and foreign affairs expert, I guess.

He helps a fair bit on the team, but his key contributions are his encyclopaedic predictions of how different international communities will react to events. If an out of control meta in Paris takes down the Eiffel Tower, he predicts which countries will immediately 'crack down' on their superpowered citizens - that sort of thing. It's invaluable for their PR team and young meta safety.

He's a friendly guy, doesn't judge anyone for losing control of their powers or going 'too far' on a villain who hurt their friends and family. And he never shuts up about his kid brother who is apparently also his best friend. He briefly mentions a baby sister he's never met and that makes everyone pretty sad.

He doesn't consider this Jazz his sister. He's already had a sister named Jazz and isn't looking for a 1:1 replacement. This Jazz is more like a mum-friend. However, he never had a Danny or an Ellie in his last life.

"My little brother told me about the trick to this level in Doomed 17, want me to explain what you're missing?"

"Sorry, I really can't possess you, even for 'anti mind-control' training. That isn't how overshadowing works, you can't become immune without exposure to ectoplasm in dangerous doses. No, I can't get you some pure ecto, my baby brother would kick my ass to hell."

"Yeah, my baby bro and I both wanted to be astronauts, I died so it's not in the cards for me anymore, but he has a real shot still, we're all rooting for him!"

Most Justice League members think he's a dead eldest brother with living siblings he's still in close contact with.

It's all fun and games until he tries to take a bullet for Batman during an ambush and it's actually an amnesia ray designed to make Batman forget about a specific case until the bad guy can complete his plan.

"I killed you all before, and I will do it again."

Goncharov (1973) dir. Martin Scorsese

“The greatest mafia movie (n)ever made.”

When you summon the devil and he keeps you company at night.

Muggleborn Conspiracy of the Statute of Secrecy

Anyone think how weird it is that none of the Muggleborns question the Statute of Secrecy? 

Even if you think Rowling is correct that re-introducing magic to muggles would be a very bad idea there’s always that one special pick-me 11 yr. old who thinks they’ll be the one to change things. Having a special secret that no one knows about and living with a bunch of kids your age and no parents is fun in the short-term, but you can’t tell me these kids didn’t get frustrated with the no magic during the summer rule, the exclusion of their parents from magical events (muggle parents could also be targeted by trigger-happy aurors, so there’s the constant fear that your parents could be obliviated), the muggleborn discrimination, and even just the difference in culture could be jarring. 

That’s enough to make any kid frustrated and want to change things. So why don’t they? 

I have no ducking clue but I’m gonna find out. 

Muggleborns find out about the wizarding world before their first year at Hogwarts on their 11th birthday. Why not earlier? 

First, let’s look at it from the angle of moving to a new country vs being a tourist in one. You see the pamphlets and the guidebooks; they all talk about how amazing this place is. The travel agent (aka the Hogwarts professor) that’s been working with you had done all of the hard work for you. In both instances you probably see the destination through rose-tinted glasses in the beginning. But if you’re living there eventually the glasses come off and you start to get opinions about how to make it a better place and more accommodating for you. 

Telling Muggleborns earlier gives them time to get used to the new culture they’ve found themselves in, and the lack of school gives the parents more opportunity to explore it too. But by being introduced so close to the beginning of the school year, the introduction to the wizarding world becomes all about school and preparing for that aspect of this new culture. Everything else is secondary to that and it puts both the parents and the child at a disadvantage. It also makes this new world feel more temporary. For example, the difference between dual citizenship vs studying abroad on a temporary student visa (not an exact comparison but you get what I mean right?). All the parents know is that their kid needs to learn how to control their magic and they need to go to magic school to do that. The parents and the kid probably aren’t told what happens after, the kid at least is definitely not thinking about the long-term. 

When you tell the kids right before school starts and offer a professor to guide them through the world, the parents don’t exactly get time to adjust and learn with their kid. And before they get the chance to bond as a family over this crazy new world they’ve found themselves in, the kid is off to boarding school and whoops how the fuck are the parents going to explore now without A) magic B) being obliviated by uncaring Aurors C) a convenient magical guide or D) getting past the anti-muggle wards.  

Then once the kid comes back from school for the summer, it’s not a family experience anymore: it’s an us vs parents. The parents have missed out on the cultural immersion. The kid gets irritated because not only are they not allowed to do magic during the summer but their parents just seem so ignorant and oblivious now. They keep asking questions about the magical world the kid doesn’t want to talk about it bc they’ll have to explain every other word and it just reminds them that they’re not allowed to do magic did you make friends? mudbloods stick together but they can’t tell their parents about that part bc what if they try to kick up a fuss. The purebloods could kill them and no one would care did you try anything new? someone dosed them with a love potion for a day and was mad when they got upset about it. and how was school? what was the school like? the staircase is a death trap mom. There was a whole corridor sectioned off bc whatever was there could kills us dad. My friend told me you could get sent to the forbidden forest in the dead of night for detention while a unicorn killer was on the loose. I’m scared but I can’t tell you bc they won’t listen to you and if you’re too loud they’ll just obliviate you. 

The parents want to help but being away from them has made the child distance themselves from needing their parents help. I also imagine that all of the anti-muggle talk might’ve gotten to them a little bit. Kids aren’t saints, they like to believe that they know better and being surrounded by other kids who were also thinking the same thing did not help. And in this case, where they have something their parents will never have in a world their parents will never be able to enter without them I imagine some of them starting feeling a little superior Hermione. And the thing is they’re right in a way, the parents didn’t get to experience the culture, the discrimination, the people, the context. Muggleborn children themselves are kind of gatekeeping this knowledge to weaponize the parents ignorance for their own benefit. As the parents continuously stay ignorant, the children steadily feel more justified in their belief that they know best. They’re doing the Purebloods job for them. 

The Wizarding government is actually very clever for doing this. It’s sick but you can’t deny it’s effectiveness. 

If you tell the kid that they have magic earlier, then it gives the muggle parents time to adjust with their child and create a united front. It also gives them time to find other Muggleborn kids and parents experiencing the same thing. 

But if you tell them right before they legally have to go to school...the Wizarding World appears like this mystical solution to the Muggleborn parent’s problems after years of unexplained accidental magic. It also has the added benefit of weeding out the more extreme end of the anti-magic parents bc those that didn’t tolerate the accidental magic probably got rid of their kid one way or another so now the Wizarding World doesn’t have to worry about policing those parents or helping that kid from an abusive home! (it’s dark I know but this is a government we’re talking about. You can read worse in the news.) It definitely didn’t catch all of the abusive muggle parents, Harry Potter notwithstanding, but I digress. The parents that did keep their kid could develop a strained relationship with them due to accidental magic and the parents not believing the kids. Then there’s probably the lack of muggle friends due to said accidental magic in one way or another. The kid is feeling freakish but special, alone, scared, and frustrated that no one seems to know how they can do the things they do. The parents were at their wits end when magic came knocking and offered them a solution. 

This scenario didn’t happen to every Muggleborn but I imagine there were enough of them going through some variation of this and that’s enough for the Wizarding World. 

The Statute of Secrecy stays intact because Muggleborns aren’t introduced into the world early enough to question it beyond the surface level. And by the time they realize what they’ve gotten themselves into, they’ve deluded themselves into thinking things are better this way. 

And for the few that grow up still desiring the Statute’s abolishment, what are they going to do as a lone ranger standing against the wealthy pureblood elites? They can’t get anywhere of note without a Pureblood’s backing and breaking the Statute would result in mass chaos, it’s unprofitable, why would they endorse it? Not to mention, in the aftermath of Grindelwald any talk of that would be shut down quick. 

Trans man Alastor who has never really worried about the possibility of getting pregnant bc a) very low interest in sexual activity in general, b) extremely minuscule pool of people he'd let touch him that way, and c) sinners aren't supposed to be able to procreate. What he and Lucifer don't know, the first time they fall in bed together, is that Lucifer, being an angel, can bypass the whole 'sinners can't have children' thing. That's how Charlie was born from Lilith, after all.

This results in a huge shit storm with the Vs trying to take advantage of Alastor's more vulnerable state, Heaven freaking out about Lucifer creating more angelic spawn in hell and potentially making demonkind even more powerful, and Alastor trying to strangle Lucifer once the test comes back positive.

👀

Oh 100%

you know what I'm gonna push for my "Alastor is Eve" headcanon bc even tho it will literally never happen, it's so fucking funny

and actually an interesting concept to explore?

but mostly bc it's funny, I'm gonna answer every mystery about Alastor with "oh that's just bc he's Eve"

why is he so powerful? Eve

why does he have beef with Lucifer even tho they're supposed to have never meet before? Eve

why is he trying to parent Charlie? Eve

episode 8? Eve

everything is possible until we actually see her in canon and I'm going to have fun with this

Head canon accepted, it is now canon in my eyes.

He probably learned how to pickpocket from older orphans. Nothing like an unassuming small child to lower a person's guard.

He had to learn to resist the urge (or ger more creative) in Slytherin because if anything went missing, he'd be the first suspect.

Tom also curses like a sailor whenever his control slips & his sticky fingers never quite go away

Peep snakefaced Voldemort slipping a wall ornament from Malfory Manor into his robe when nobody but Nagini's watching

Jack was an inventor. A hunter. A walking tank of a man who could intimate anyone he wanted to if he weren't such a joyful man.

Daniel was not.

He was short, thin, calm and composed where his father was the sun. He was not a hunter, nor an inventor.

Talia was an assassin. A living, walking weapon. Impossible to notice footsteps. The eyes of a predator and all the grace of one moving in for the kill.

Daniel was not.

He was a failed heir. A less refined weapon than his mother. Footsteps heavy and loud compared to his mother. The eyes of a cold, dead fish with no life and nothing left to give.

He did not know it at the time but.

Daniel was a doctor. Someone that saved people. Mended broken bodies. Always carrying something to help. Nothing but medical knowledge rolling around in his head and the desire to save. Life saver.

Damian was the successful heir. Son of Bruce Wayne. Quiet footsteps. The eyes of a predator. Body trained to perfection. A master of the sword. Life taker.

A success, where he failed.

A battle of heirs. An outcome already decided, already known, already foreseen.

There should've only been one.

And indeed, there was none but one.

In spite of his loss, his failure, he was not exterminated as he thought he should have been. He was instead placed in the pits, the water mending his broken body not for the first time, then taken out, and found himself alongside his mother.

That was the last time he saw of her, and his brother. Only a scar where his brother would have killed him, refusing to be healed, left behind in remembrance.

He then found himself with a family. His father's family. Daniel knew of his father, a genius inventor who could build a great many things from scraps of metal, a gene that, while respected, was not what the League wanted.

It was a fling, and nothing more.

He gained a new mother and a sister. Inserted into a family who welcome him with open arms, yet already had their own dynamics that they practiced from time to time, and he always found himself at a loss when they try to fit him in them in some way.

Then, when he turned ten years of age, a year without seeing hide nor hair of his mother and brother. Came a man, Vlad Masters.

Vlad Masters was confident, self-assured. Well trained. Having money to spend in spades and spades yet making all that and more. The eyes of someone who thought themselves better than most, eyes of a snake, a spider, slowly waiting for something to take the bait.

Despite all of this, a certain sense of loneliness seemed to hang around him like an ever-present cloud. Something Danny only realized was there, when he caught the man broken down.

Daniel did not know how to feel of Vlad Masters.

Vlad Masters did not like his father, even though he seemed to treat his mother like an old friend, the same way his father treated him. He seemed both fond and somewhat off put by his sister, Jasmine Fenton.

Daniel finds himself respecting and sympathizing with that sentiment.

Jasmine Fenton was nice. Social. Unaware of her unconscious ability to think herself superior. Thinks she is often right. Does not like to be wrong. Likes to think things through.

Likes to peer inside of someone's head.

Daniel does not like that. Vlad does not like it either.

But she is nice, good intentioned, his sister. So he will overlook it. She is also Vlad's goddaughter, and so he too, will overlook that trait of hers.

Daniel was not interested in a great many things. He was not fond of swordsmanship, even though he was ruthlessly trained in it. He was not fond of building like his father, not as fond as running calculations to make inventions work like his mother, was not fond of, and while a useful ability, peering into the heads of others.

He was, however, found of what he found in Vlad Masters' basement. Something he believes was to be kept secret, yet found anyway.

He was unsure of how much time he spent occupied with what he found, time spent with eyes that only blinked when they were forced to because of dryness.

Time that was cut, when the owner of said basement, found him.

Curiously enough, he did not throw him out, and Danny did not notice him when exactly the man got there, nor how long he was there, until he made himself known.

He offered to teach Daniel of the knowledge he so sought, and Daniel only took a few seconds to accept the hand outstretched to him.

Four years. Four years did Daniel study under Vlad Masters, growing his understanding of the human body, watching how exactly to hold a scalpel properly, how to use certain equipment, what exactly to do that would let the human body heal without changing anything too much.

How to help, how to save lives. What to use to cut away pain, and help those in need.

A way to repent for every inch of blood on his small hands, was what Daniel saw.

Vlad Masters did not often make mistakes. His every move was far too calculated for such a thing. But he does, in rare cases, make mistakes.

One of them, was how Daniel found out about his unique biology. Vlad Masters was something called a halfa, a mix between the undead and living, a ghost and human.

It reminded him, not for the first time since he came to live in Amity Park, just how much ectoplasm reminded him of Lazarus Water. Yet he could tell, knew they were different due to various factors.

He wondered if he should try and write to his mother about this, more than once.

He did not.

After his 14th birthday, Vlad said that there was not much more he could teach him. Daniel soaked up all the knowledge given to him like a sponge, and retained all of it easily.

As a jest, he was told that he was allowed to pick a new name because of this.

He thought it was serious.

So he chose Danny. A name that came from one the rare, soft moments between him and his elder brother. Where he could not yet pronounce his name properly, before he underwent correction, a time where both of them were all smiles and no blood on their hands.

Danny.

The rift between Vlad Masters and Jack Fenton somehow, without his notice, closed. They were acting as if they were the best of friends, more so his father than Vlad Masters, and they became a functioning family with their odd little quirks.

When he turned 15, he went to Gotham. He was living with his sister while she attended college there, he did not want to go to school, so he did not.

It took many a time of convincing for them to finally allow it.

Danny did not know Gotham. He knew of it. He knew this to be the home of his brother's father, Bruce Wayne, that it was the city with the most crime, the city home to a notorious number of villains.

The city under watch and protected by Batman.

But not much more than that. He did not care for his brother's father, for whatever legacy he had fell only to his brother to fulfil. He hoped his brother achieved what he wished for.

Back then, and still today.

He wandered the streets of Gotham when Jazz was occupied. Familiarizing himself with the environment and finding out what was where and where is that.

Not for the first time, he found injured, and not for the first time, he treated them free of charge.

He had more than enough money to resupply himself, thanks to his mentor filling his account with money every month.

He gained a bit of a reputation, that child with a far too large lab coat. Dead fisheyes, a wandering doctor who treats anyone injured he came across. Though his reputation was small, having recently just came to Gotham.

One day, curiously enough, he found something new in his endless days of wandering.

A boy dead on his feet, covered in dirt, a ruined suit and looking like he just pulled himself out of a grave crossing the street, unaware of the car speeding towards him.

He was hit, and somehow landed in front of Danny.

He crunched down on his lollipop, throwing the stick through the air and into a nearby trashcan without looking while opening another and placing it in his mouth.

He took the boy home in what a normal person would essentially call a kidnapping,

He did not know how the boy, older than him, survived the trip back to his home. But he wasn't going to complain about it. He entered a room, one filled with medical equipment, the best that could be offered, and placed his mystery guest one of many beds.

He treated him as best as he could, then left to go get something to eat.

He still stuck to his wandering, but he regularly checked in on his guest. A week later, and the boy was awake, sitting up in his bed when Danny opened the door to check on him.

He introduced himself as Jason Todd.

Then he disappeared for some time, and the bed that held him for a week was empty.

Sometime later, he heard of Red Hood.

He did not know what to think of the gunslinger in red, and what his stake in the politics of Gotham would be. He didn't exactly care for the politics, so he stayed away from it.

He did not know why the Red Hood held good will towards him, considering they have not met before. But he was claimed to be under his 'protection' for reasons unknown.

The reason, he found out, after carrying the man to his home (it was a bit of struggle, but Danny was the son of Jack Fenton, and took after him in strength as well, although to a lesser degree), placed him in one of many beds, and found out his identity.

Red Hood was Jason Todd, a patient he had not seen for some time now turned lord of crime.

It was a bit surprising, but not something that mattered.

Perhaps it should have, when he found himself sitting across from the protectors of the night who decided to invite themselves into the house alongside his sister with a Red Hood that looked like he was none too pleased by this situation.

And a brother he had not seen in many a year.

My favorite appleradio dynamic is prejudiced Lucifer x sassy bitch Alastor.

In Dad Beat Dad, Alastor may have started the passive aggressive jabs, but Lucifer escalated to death threats (Alastor's head on a plate) with shocking ease.

Like: "Okay, Luci. You're at a 10 and I need you at a 2." Man literally needed less than half a reason to start that Loony Tunes bout.

I like to imagine it's a side effect of his need to control everything. Like he was fighting both sides of the argument rapid fire in his head and was then meeting the escalation of an imaginary Alastor.

Sort of like how he answered for/with Charlie when she thanked him mid-song for offering his help free of charge.

It's the type of overreaction that someone that aggravates others for fun would love! Enter Alastor, Certified Public Troll with only a passing acquaintance with self-preservation.

New Mission: How far can I go before this could be considered self-destructive tendencies?

Alastor unintentionally disproving Lucifer's "All sinners are the same" philosophy by just being the worst... and then Lucifer has to face the horrifying realization that he likes the bastard. XD

Lucifer: All sinners are bad.

Alastor: *being the absolute worst person Lucifer's ever met*

Lucifer: You know what, maybe other Sinners aren't that bad actually

But yes, prejudiced!Lucifer x sassybitch!Alastor is my bread and butter. It's so good. They clash so much and that's what makes it fun.

And literally, Alastor may have been passive aggressive first, but the way Lucifer ramped it up was impressive. I made a post before going over the scene when they officially met, and, like, Alastor's comments overall? Not very antagonist. Or, the words at least. Passive aggressive, sure, but the most outright antagonistisitc he got was when he called Lucifer short.

Whereas it was immediate dislike on Lucifer's side.

All Alastor said was (both in response to Lucifer's reaction to his bar and the very first time they spoke to each other): Just some of the renovations we had done. Adds a bit of color! Don't you think?

And THIS was Lucifer's face ⬇️

"And you are?"

Like, Alastor didn't even sound that passive aggressive. The most I could give him was the smirky little face he gave Lucifer

(god, why is Alastor so pretty right here though??? maybe that's why Lucifer was so mad. Boi turn down those bedroom eyes, Luci can't think. That was Alastor's first plan. He was going to seduce the king of Hell, but then Lucifer insulted his bar, and he decided they were throwing hands instead).

I'm of the opinion that Lucifer was antagonist towards Alastor first and Alastor was just matching his energy (albeit very readily LMAO his eye was twitching the moment Lucifer walked through the door).

Also, yes, thank you for bringing up Lucifer answering for Charlie, cuz I think that's something a lot of people overlook.

Well, maybe he didn't answer for her exactly. I imagine it's just what he wanted her to say, but still, look at Charlie's face ⬇️

She doesn't look very comfortable.

In fact, she looked awkward, annoyed, frustrated, and uncomfortable throughout most of her interactions with Lucifer in this episode.

(there's a lot more but tumblr has a picture limit)

Wheras, this is what she was like with Alastor:

like

DAMN

Okay Luci, I see why your insecurities were firing on all cylinders.

We all know that Alastor wasn't genuine about being a father figure to her, but there has to be something to his and Charlie's relationship if she's looking at him like this. Especially in front of Lucifer.

I'm getting off topic though, I could do a WHOLE other post on my thoughts about Charlie's relationship with Lucifer VS Charlie's relationship with Alastor, and why it is the way that it is.

Anyway, yes, I agree with you. Lucifer 100% escalated the fight between him and Alastor. He went from zero to sixty with no hesitation, and he wasn't even AWARE of Alastor and Charlie's relationship yet. Essentially, the way I see it, he was acting that way toward Alastor for the sole reason that he's a Sinner which is the definition of prejudice.

And I want to clarify to anyone reading this, this isn't me hating on Lucifer. I love Lucifer. I love his character and his flaws and his insecurities. I love the way it all affects how he interacts with other characters, both negatively and positively. This is what makes him so interesting to me.

He holds so much capacity for love while also being so heavily flawed and it is 😙👌 delicious.

Al's dad does the dad thing where Alastor will tell him about something he likes and his dad will say nothing, do the 'hmmm' sound, and then buy him that thing multiple times for the next several years.

Alastor, the Radio Demon: ...

His Dad: hmmm

*buys a shit ton of radios and radio equipment, a lot of them duplicates of eachother, some of it unusable*

Alastor: I already have this model.

His Dad: So? Keep it 'cause it's gonna be worth a shit ton of money when you hit retirement age!

Alastor: I- I'm over hundred years old already?!

Alastor's Father

WARNING: period-typical racism, WW1, race-based murder

I see a lot of fics where Alastor's dad is a piece of shit and abusive, but I'd love to see one where Al's dad actually loves and cares for his family but was taken from them when Alastor was too young to remember much about him.

Maybe he died as a soldier in WW1 or made it back to the US only to be killed some other way. If he was black, then those odds go way up unfortunately.

We don't know much about Al's parents but if it's still canon that he's creole, then that means at least one of his parents has black ancestry. A lot of the fics I've seen give him a black mom/white dad, but I think it would be interesting if both his parents were mixed too.

Anyway, what I'm getting at is if Al's dad was killed when he was still little, then they wouldn't recognize each other in hell now would they?

Al's dad sure does love his family, but everyone else can fuck off. And ooh boi did he earn his place in hell trying to protect them, not that heaven cared about his motives.

The second he finds out Alastor the Radio Demon is his baby boy? Hell hath no fury like a protective parent. He doesn't give a flying fuck about the atrocities Alastor has caused, that's his baby and no one is going to hurt him while he's not double-dead.