Ive Been Sad The Past Couple Days, So I Colored In Two Old Men Smooching

Nifty and Lucifer fight over Al's shoulder space.

I love all the art depicting Alastor and Lucifer posing like badasses ready for a fight, like the ones where Lucifer is up on Alastor's shoulders, wings spread wide open on full threat display.

I'm so glad we're all on the same page about that.

But please imagine- he just lives up there.

He's an angel he can just make himself weigh nothing, or Alastor's a demon, he's got inhuman strength. But I'm really leaning into Lucifer doing most of the magicking about it so he can sit is progressively more unbalanced positions, and in no way imped on Alastor adhd ass moving all around all the time.

Either way they're just walking around the hotel like that.

Making dinner? Lucifer's up there, legs wrapped around him to keep out of the way, as he stirs one pot, and Alastor checks another.

Running inspections on guests, because SOMEONE flooded the third floor trying to flush their stash? Lucifer's just sittting cross legged on one shoulder, reading a book.

Alastor's pacing his studio, talking with a regular caller, and Lucifer has slid down his back like a koala, legs kicking behind him, arms wrapped around Alastor's neck tight enough it should be choking him, but magic, so he can stick his ear to the other side of the phone cause he's a mess bitch too and he loves the gossip.

Like the other haven't seen Lucifer's feet on the ground in weeks.

Do they have some bet going? Are they playing the world's weirdest game of gay chicken??

Does Luicfer just like to feel tall?

Some one called it Stacked Dads

Stacked dads au!!!!!

tbh the most exciting part of my day is when i finally go to bed at night and start creating imaginary scenarios in my head

Betty is an icon, a legend, and THE moment

Thinking abt ai betty "dying" in front of Simon and her final action as an ai built on bettys memories, was to leave Simon agonizing over what she was trying to tell him before she glitches out. When asked, she says, "I only said that so you wouldn't stop thinking about me." Like. Betty wanting to possess Simon's mind rearranging it's coding to her ends and disregarding simons protests. Despising ice king because he doesn't remember her. Despising the crown. It wasn't because of some kind of blind following. It wasn't because Simon was simply selfish. She did these things because She was selfish, stubborn, determined to do things her way and no one else's (not even simons!) Something beautiful was taken from her and she will get it back!!!!!! She was not some poor hapless innocent girl! She has committed atrocities and by god I refuse to disregard her affinity for the extreme, the reckless, the self destructive to say it's all simons fault for not getting on a bus or something. I guess what im saying is support women's wrongs <3

Al's dad does the dad thing where Alastor will tell him about something he likes and his dad will say nothing, do the 'hmmm' sound, and then buy him that thing multiple times for the next several years.

Alastor, the Radio Demon: ...

His Dad: hmmm

*buys a shit ton of radios and radio equipment, a lot of them duplicates of eachother, some of it unusable*

Alastor: I already have this model.

His Dad: So? Keep it 'cause it's gonna be worth a shit ton of money when you hit retirement age!

Alastor: I- I'm over hundred years old already?!

Alastor's Father

WARNING: period-typical racism, WW1, race-based murder

I see a lot of fics where Alastor's dad is a piece of shit and abusive, but I'd love to see one where Al's dad actually loves and cares for his family but was taken from them when Alastor was too young to remember much about him.

Maybe he died as a soldier in WW1 or made it back to the US only to be killed some other way. If he was black, then those odds go way up unfortunately.

We don't know much about Al's parents but if it's still canon that he's creole, then that means at least one of his parents has black ancestry. A lot of the fics I've seen give him a black mom/white dad, but I think it would be interesting if both his parents were mixed too.

Anyway, what I'm getting at is if Al's dad was killed when he was still little, then they wouldn't recognize each other in hell now would they?

Al's dad sure does love his family, but everyone else can fuck off. And ooh boi did he earn his place in hell trying to protect them, not that heaven cared about his motives.

The second he finds out Alastor the Radio Demon is his baby boy? Hell hath no fury like a protective parent. He doesn't give a flying fuck about the atrocities Alastor has caused, that's his baby and no one is going to hurt him while he's not double-dead.

I have this headcanon for Alastor's back story where he's trans, and just as himself, as he is in the show, even as a kid. So his parents sent him of to a convent, were upon ww1 breaking out in his late teens, he ran away, forged a new identity as a man, got found out once he was already over seas, blackmailed a superior into letting him stay on, where he was introduced to radio communication, and the rest is history.

But all that to say, I like to then imagine, whenever anyone tells him something mildly outlandish, but definitely true, he likes to respond with "Yes, Vox, and I took a vow of celibacy when I was a catholic nun"

To which of course people think, "so you don't belive me? I mean but aren't you a virgin? Are you not????"

And of course, this never gets asked because who's gonna ask The Radio Demom about his Sexy Life.

Angel Dust that's who.

I imagine him doing an interview on Al's Show, just a mix of publicity for them both, hanging out because they're friends, and it's all a big middle finger to the Vee's.

Maybe it's pride month and so they were planning some talk about that, Alastor joking about a possible comming out, even though its plenty well know Alastor is some where on the ace spectrum to anyone with eyes.

They get on the topic somehow, Angel says something like, "I never laid myself across the bar like that! Second set of arms at most! Never my butt, never mind my legs! not after the first time!"

"Mh-hm. You got desperate in your flirting, and I took a vow of celibacy, when I was a nun. We all do silly things, Angel."

"Well, maybe I've laid out on the pool table, but it makes for good pictures. Anyway, I been meaning to ask you about that."

"About being a nun?

"No," angel laughs, plays it off, thinking he's joking. "About your being ace and all. No pressure, but like, you really never even wanted to try?"

"No, I find it quite repulsive. The idea even,"

"You don't watch nothin'? Read nothing either?"

"Ha! No! The filthy little novel Sister Amillia sneaked in the once was quite enough- are you okay Angel?"

Angel had infact just chocked on his latte. "Wait? Sister Amillia? Sneaked in? To where!?"

"The convent, Angel. I was 14, she was 16. Wonderful woman, taught me how to handle a knife, she left shortly after the novel was discovered- Sister Tabitha was as squeaky a little rat as she looked- never saw Amillia again, though."

"Wait, sorry. You were a nun, like, actually? What the fuck?"

One of the little lights that says they have a caller lit up, but Alastor ignore it for now. "Yes, Angel, do keep up."

"Wait, so like that nun costume you wear on halloween?" Angel blows right past the fact Alastor just came out as trans, because yeah. Didnt see it comming but, the trains already wizzing by, and more importantly- "Is that like your actual nun costume?"

"Ha! No, I flung that horrid thing in a garbage can on my way to the enlistment office when I was 17."

"Enlistment?" Angels begining to see what Alastor meant when he said this episode was going to be a unique experience for his listeners at the start of the braodcast. "Like world War 1, right? You were alive for that..."

"Yes, I figured with all the confusion one little girl-"

Angel's phone goes off. It's Val. Angel hits ignore.

"Fuck off Val, I'm off today" Angel says into his mic.

But they get interrupted again and again until Angel turns his phone off.

At which point all twelve of the little light that indicate the show had callers on the line, light up.

"Ah fuck. What does he want that bad? Can you just answer it real quick?"

Alastor flips a switch and answers.

"The fuck you want Val-"

"I'm not calling for you!" It's Vox on the other end, his voice booming from the speaker "Alastor! Are you fucking serious? You were a fucking nun?"

"Yes, Vox." He says with faux patience. "My goodness, did you all stuff your ears with cotton this morn-"

"So you DID actually take a vow of Celibacy? The other day at the meeting during my presentation, you said "that'll work, Vox, sure- and I took a vow-"

"Yes. I was there."

"And!?!"

"Celibacy, among other things. If this is a dig at my sexuality than-"

"Nah fuck that, hang on I'm doing math! Okay you were born in 1901, makes you 17 in 1918, yeah that tracks. Okay so 2024 make you 123, minus the 17 years to be conservative, thats 106 yeah?"

"I was 15 when I took that vow, and under threat of being institutionalized, if that's what you're getting at-"

"108! Ha! Oh my God! 108 years! That's gotta be a record!"

"What are you getting at Vox?"

"You took a vow!" Vox screams through his laughter. "All the pomp and circumstance! On consecrated ground! before god!? To abstain from sex! And even here in hell, were sin and blasphemy are rampant and free-"

"Careful Vox, your televangelist is showing-"

"Who gives a fuck!? You're the one whos upheld their vow to God for over a century like some devout saint!"

Angel and Alastor sit there staring at eachother while Vox laughs his head off around them

"Saint Alastor the Abstinent! The pantron Saint of Virgi-"

Alastor hangs up. "Well that was informative!" Alastor chirps "Well, What's to be done about this? Hm, Angel?"

And for some reason, an unholy one, surely, the first thing out of Angel's mouth is "I could suck you dick? If that- would count?"

And it's a testament to how far they've come as friends, or pooooossbily Alastor's nerves, or maybe his sheer unwavering bravado, but Alastor only bursts out laughing, shaking his head as he get out between laughter "I don't- have one!"

And then they're both laughing and laughing and laughing, and eventually they calm down, and Alastor gets a thoughtful look. "Though, Vox did have one good point."

"Oh?"

"That does have to be a recorded, at least among sinners. Why! I very well might have redeemed myself! We should certainly bring this up with Sera at the next conference!"

And then their off both laughing again, imaging Serra's face when she realises she's going to have to look into yet more research onto the workings of redemption from Heaven's end.

What’s with the trend in comics of Jason going on this long, insightful rant on Bruce’s behaviors and shortcomings only for B to respond like “but murder bad” and that’s considered a valid counter argument?

WIP 🦌🍎

voldemort cowlick manifesto

gonna miss this show