Fun Fact: Without Enrichment Animals Can Suffer From Depression And Anxiety.

To: The "biOLoGiCaL iMpErAtiVe" that causes my body to torture me montly with bloddy pain for having the gall to eschew "mOtHeRhOd". To the "HeAvEnLy WrAtH" which punishes me for my dogged refusal to bring forth hideous progeny into the hideous mortal realm I was forced to inhabit.

I took some pain killers. Now what? Not so tough now, are you? Bring it on. If all it takes to defy god is tylenol, Imma make it a habit. Bitch.

Hi i um.. i'm trying to compartmentalize my trauma dumps away from my fandom shit so... yeah... I'm here to vent.

I hate the spring

Because it smells like a schoolyard, like a rubber band about to snap, like unreachable expectations. I reeks of change and hope that sours like milk in the sun. It smells like an wild animal about to pounce on its vulnerable pray.

It makes me nauseous, it wets my socks, it burns my eyes and It looms over me like the inevitable end of all that is good.

Watch "Are White AMERICANS the Most Racist White People On Earth?" on YouTube

YouTube

Are White AMERICANS the Most Racist White People On Earth?

Hypothesis: Those who are discriminated against see the people discriminating them (and or colonialising them) as the Most Racist.

Example: As a mexican, I was torn between the spanish conquistadors and the white Americans.

Considering the cultural an economical colonialism that the U.S is not so subtly imposing on so many countries, it kinda makes sense to me that they are the de facto bad guy to point at.

With regards to the question of: are they really worse than the other "flavors" of racist...

I don't know. How do you measure that? Number of dead poc? If the language of the people they tried to erase is still spoken today or not? Did they destroy records or history? Idk.

At what point does comparison become moot? Would you rather eat one poison apple or two poison apples? Is there an option where I get to live?

I feel like comparing racists to other racists is kinda like that. My biased queer woman of colour opinion on the matter is: You don't get to pat yourself on the back for being the "least terrible" and I don't owe you gratitude for not treating me worse.

Using other "more heinous" acts of racism to metaphorically wash your hands of your own crime... it feels icky to me. Its like instumentalising the suffering of somebody else's victims to placate your own victims.

I'm no scholar, but that doesn't sit right with me.

I don't know when I began to think that ignorance might be bliss. But not having the ability to "un-know" has been rotting our miserable human lives since Eve was convinced by a phallic symbol to eat "ThE FrUiT oF tHe TrEe Of ThE kNoWlEdGe Of GoOd AnD eViL"

Sex is wholesome.

Tell me I'm wrong. Go ahead!

You can't! I'm dying on this hill!

Caption this.

I struggle with:

ADHD & neurospicy-nes

Rejection sensitive dysphoria

Possible Autism diagnosis is on the bacckburner for an indefinite period of time.

Depression

Borderline personality disorder

And being told "you can't"

My response to you can't is: "watch me"

And that usually leads to me crashing and burning in spectacular fashion.

you ever find a piece of clothing and feel like you just stumbled upon an essential bit of your character design

At night my brain goes:

Concious me: I need to do [thing that is important but I forgot what it is] before tomorrow!

ADHD: You don't have the spoons to do [thing]

CONCIOUS ME: I'll be the judge of that! I can totally manage my spoons responsibly when I know what I need to get done. Just tell me what the task is.

ADHD: How did you forget! it's so important!

CONCIOUS ME: I didn't forget, we forgot!

ADHD: So it's my fault that you can't remember important things *cries in self hatred & RSD*

CONCIOUS ME: fuck. So brain is out of commission. How the fuck do I remember the thing I have to do!?

* Beloved Gf attempts interaction*

ADHD BRAIN & CONCIOUS SELF SIMULTANIOUSLY: Excuse me, could you not interrupt us when we're in the middle of an (invisible, silent and completely imperceptible) argument! Can't you see the (invisible, silent and completely imperceptible) crisis I'm experiencing!?

BELOVED GF: says anything... literally anything

ADHD: She hates us. She hates me and she tolerates you. And we are inextricably linked. Would that it were so easy to kill me! Would that I could die to let you live!! *melodramatic hand gestures*

CONCIOUS SELF: *to ADHD* oh shit, do you really think that!?

CONCIOUS SELF: *to self* No, we talked about this. She doesn't want to hurt you.

CONCIOUS SELF: *proceeds to freak out at beloved GF*