Choose Off. Always. Don't You Dare Come In With Them Or You'll Clean The Floor!/j

This is just hilarious

Watching RE7 playthroughs and suddenly got a vision of Ethan not as a BSAA agent but as like a guest lecturer or smtg.

Chris asks Ethan comes in to speak to a class. All the BSAA agents in training are real confused. Ethan comes in looking like a wholeass dad. He’s wearing a pair of square tortoiseshell glasses, a creased button down that he’s tucked tight into khaki shorts with a ton of pockets. He’s carrying a brown briefcase that has seen better days and doesn’t match the brown of his shorts AT ALL.

He kind of stumbles up to the podium. He sets the briefcase down in front of him but doesn’t open it. He leans his hands on the lectern and rocks back and forth on his heels a little. Chris, in the corner of the room, gets a few concerned glances.

Ethan ruffles his hair and pushes his glasses back up his nose. He sniffs. “Alright the first rule to dealing with a situation involving a BOW is to find a weapon—“

He’s interrupted by a student in the front row who says, “Um who are you?”

Another one cuts in. “Yeah why should we listen to you?”

Ethan starts like he’s just remembered he left the stove on. “Sorry sorry I didn’t even introduce myself.” He smiles at them all. “Hi my name is Ethan Winters, I’m a bioweapon—“

Everyone in the class pulls out a gun and one person actually shoots Ethan, hitting him where his heart would be. The class gasps.

“Fuck!” Ethan shouts. Then his shoulder sort of ripples, and kind of spits the bullet out into Ethan’s waiting hand. He looks sheepishly at them all. “Sorry for swearing, that spot’s just been a little tender since Miranda ripped my heart out.”

He couldn’t mean Mother Miranda could he? Rumored to be the true progenitor of all bioweapons? Who enslaved a whole village for over a hundred years? He’s talking about her like she’s his next door neighbor Miranda.

“Oh and Chris knows I’m a bioweapon it’s ok he’s still fine with me being here.” Chris nods his agreement. “Because you see, I’m a rather rare transformed bioweapon. As in, I used to be just as human as all of you, but I came into contact with high concentrations of contaminated material and ended up forcibly changed into a bioweapon by some other BOWs I was fighting.”

The room has gone silent. Everyone’s eyes are wide. They’ve sat back down and stowed their weapons but can’t bring themselves to do anything else but gape at this man.

“Ok so, let’s try something different. How many of you have heard of the Dulvey incident?”

Tons of hands go up. “Ok great, good. So that was me. How about the Romania incident?”

A few shaky hands go up. “Yeah I figured it wouldn’t really be public knowledge but that one was me too. I mean, I’m saying it was me but I don’t mean that I like started the outbreak or caused all the damage.”

Chris lets out an amused questioning noise. Ethan’s head whips around to look at him. “Shut up Chris.”

That, more than anything, convinces the students that this guy is the REAL DEAL.

The lecture goes great, even if some of Ethan’s advice is rather specific. “And if you ever find yourself facing a shadow puzzle, make sure you remember the perspective, some objects will only fit the pattern if you turn them to match the size of the other items around them.”

Or is frankly not recommended. “Wait until right after she’s passed you then run like hell through the door she just exited.”

Or sounds like something only a completely insane person would do. “So she told me I’d never see my daughter again so I flipped her off and said ‘just like you’ll never see yours bitch.’ I thought it was really clever in the moment.”

But overall, they learn a lot, and when their regular lecturer comes back they all start begging him to take another vacation so Ethan can come and teach again. Ethan himself is confused but happy, Chris has never laughed so hard in his life.

he got that sass thrown back in his face in approximately 3 minutes (jayvik and the ugly fuck singed as sonic 3)

two geniuses "hard at work" ft. yoghurt-covered strawberries and three braincells shared between the two of them

Some not so serious doodles about the idea where Silco survived and Warwrick!Vander found him. I did these as fanservice for ME! Especially the clothes thing

(have fun trying to figure out the reading order of the third sketch dump)

dude the deleted scenes though... come onnnn

Some more Stobotnik~

Cuz the suit jacket with tie and no shirt is crazy.

It took at least an extra week for things to get cleared up. Where he got that ring... dont worry about it. Whatre you a cop?

Also i realize I never draw S1 Robotnik. IDKY Anyways-

Robotniks personal space issues. (exaggerated... possibly. Have we seen them in an elevator before?)

Robotnik being very generous and sharing his candy with his best friend Stone with no ulterior motives.

EMERGENCY COMMISSIONS

I have been putting this off for a while as there are people out there that im sure need money more but me and my dad are in a tight spot as we have no car so my dad has to bike to work and its almost a 25 minute bike ride in the scourching heat and humidity, and I can not get a job due to physical limitations and not having a high school diploma or my GED. My father needs help paying the bills, so any art commissions are EXTREAMLY helpful! Luckily, I have my mother who can order me groceries, but she lives an hour away and is busy a lot. All money will go to funding bills and funding my father a car!

Here is my art commissions information! I take paypal as payment, and you will get a free discord emote(chibi) of whatever character you like + facial expression you want with each commission

(Ontop of this, I also do voice acting work, so if you need a voice actor, I will happily do that as well)

Now I want yo read this. But no fics. Help.

So I've been on a reading kick for Elias adopts Baby Jon who has timetraveled from the apocalypse and is an avatar fics, and I am vastly disappointed. Why, you may ask? Because no one has taken advantage of one very obvious fact: Jonah Magnus would 100% be a bitchy PTA Karen parent.

Think about it. He would use the Eye to to know that, actually, Susan did NOT make those cupcakes for the bake sale, she bought them from fucking Waitrose. And she's cheating on her wife with Debra the LLW teacher. So she better tell little Jimmy to back the fuck off his special little eye boi or he will RUIN her reputation.

Like, just for a second, imagine him striding up to a school in his finest Boring Manager (tm) Attire, and the principal thinks it's gonna be a generic meeting. Then this bastard calmly takes off his jacket, folds it over his arm and tells the principal that if Mr Anderson doesn't start providing proper care and facilities for Jon's neurodivergence and knowledge powers, someone might just let slip about that tax fraud you're committing. Oh, and also, your partner is flirting with the mailman as we speak. And then just fucking strides off, Knowing that you will do as he asked cause how the fuck does he know that?!?

The potential guys, I swear.

(Yes in this world he also drives a minivan. It has a giant eye painted on the side. Jon calls it Mystereye Machine)

Something something Robotnik spent so much of his life having to make joy for himself on his own that he didn't realise Stone was important to him until Gerald tried to kill him and shattered his pre-concieved notions of what love was.

Being an orphan had a part in how he perceived the idea of love. He never had any friends, no romantic partners, because to him, there was no expectation that someone would inherently love him just for the sake of it. He was 'undesirable'. So, he entertained himself with his creations, and with his own personality.

He latched onto the chance to connect with his grandfather in Sonic 3 because to him, that relationship is where he expected to find someone who loved him on the basis that they were family.

Stone brought him happiness in ways so simple...

so unique...

so realistic...

that it wasn't until he was about to die that Robotnik clocked it as genuine care and affection. Something that Gerald never felt for him, and only Stone had ever given him.

So safe to say they make me insane actually

«Reunion Arc» (3/4)