Exactly!

How the fuck is a Garfield comic with the titular cat removed so goddamn relatable!

G-G the book - G-G on Facebook - G-G on Twitter

A n d Y o u c a n h a v e i t a l l My e m p i r e O f D i r t.

No Deus Vult?!?!? This game is called ‘Crusader Kings’. And there is gonna be no Deus Vult?!?!?!

‘Kay.

-Jen, and Kira, after restoring the crystal ,1982

Yes we need more!

Searched “funny medieval art,” was not disappointed. Can we please make memes based on weird medieval art more of a thing?

Come on, this is 1000x times funnier than those stupid deep fried memes.

Oh no he’s hot! Human! Aughra is a very lucky woman.

Can we see human Mal without the mask? Please?

y’all so horny lmaooo

GOD the portland polycule commune cult posts are just what the doctor ordered!!!

✅ insane and implausible story

✅ has been communicated largely through asks and blog replies so it's hard to follow every detail

✅ aside from the OP the only person verifying the story is an anon claiming to be their roommate/member of their polycule

This is fascinating. This is great. This is like when the Hamilton fan blog told everyone they had hiv and then later they backtracked and deleted their blog. We've been needing a good old fashioned Internet lie to keep us entertained

Hell Yeah

In Winter, Jason Vorhees sits on the pier with hot cocoa, a blanket and a wild racoon that’s chewing on his decaying arm, listening to Take Me Home Country Roads because there’s no kids on his fucking lakey lawn

Immediately after this, (and once Quincey was out of earshot), there was the expected huffing and puffing and I Am the Master of This Castle and These Mountains et cetera, et cetera.

Jonathan tried to ride it out in nodding noncommittal silence.

Mina, devoid of even a fraction of a fuck to give, agreed yes, of course he was. But out of curiosity, when was the last time he attended to anything to do with his title or its duties in the last, say, twenty years? She seems to recall someone of more maturity stepping in to manage every iota of the work while the Master of the Castle was busy with the terribly trying labor of, let her check her notes, strutting around being impressed with himself. Is it not so?

Dracula, doubly pissed, ready to erupt and go full Monster Mode, slipped into a fuming villain monologue--

And his voice cracked.

Jonathan was stone-faced, but white-knuckling his armrest. Mina's psychic laughter could shake the Carpathians. Quincey popped his head in to ask what's the matter, did something happen? Notably, with a pubescent pitch not that many octaves removed from the Count's.

That night was full of thunder and the next family dinner saw the Count grousing that he had no appetite tonight. Or the next. Not until he was iron grey, for some reason.

Jonathan, meanwhile, found his shaving kit mysteriously returned. Plus enough shaving lather to last a decade.

Consider this a cap to this bit of nonsense. Scruffy Winter Mode Jonathan has to get back to his clean-shaven self somehow.

Final apologies to @ibrithir-was-here, thank you for putting up with the shenanigans

(Note: If you haven't jumped on the Blood of My Blood AU, you're missing out. One of the tastiest Dracula Bad Ending stories-in-progress I've ever come across.)

Reblog to kill it faster