Latest Posts by captainstrangecollector - Page 4

…every journey begins…<3 emmie @ le cocu quotidien.

…might be a long wait…{blushing}…<3 emmie @ le cocu quotidien.

…your lips are dry, heart racing, fingers trembling, breathless…your girlfriend, too…<3 emmie @ le cocu quotidien.

…anticipation…<3 emmie @ le cocu quotidien.

…she means it…not that i would know…{blushing}…<3 emmie @ le cocu quotidien.

…wonder where she’s been…{blushing}…and who’s she been with…{double-blush}…<3 emmie @ le cocu quotidien.

…oh, my…{blushing}…<3 emmie @ le cocu quotidien.

A Spoonful of Sugar…

…mmmmm, she’s a schemer…{blushing}…on a surf board…{double-blush}…<3 emmie @ le cocu quotidien.

hobson’s choice. <3 emmie @ le cocu quotidien.

…without even knowing his name…{blushing}…<3 emmie @ le cocu quotidien.

…inevitable conversation…<3 emmie @ le cocu quotidien.

…un-huh…{blushing}…<3 emmie @ le cocu quotidien.

Halloween House Party

Whew… What an eventful couple of weeks it has been! I am back from my vacation, and, as promised, I will update you all…

Ok, where to start…

I went to Hawaii with my family. Some of you even guessed the right island, and one person even guessed the right beach… Honestly, I was a little freaked out by that. I’m not ready to meet anybody off of Tumblr, particularly in front of my family, while we are on vacation. So, I didn’t answer anybody specifically as to my exact whereabouts. I’m sure you will understand. The island was great, the vacation was great, I had a glorious time. And for anybody wondering, no, I didn’t hook up with any random strangers… Sorry to disappoint you all there.

I also decided to make a change to my blog. Maybe not one you will notice immediately, but I decided to eliminate the “anonymous” option on my asks. I was getting a lot of disparaging anonymous comments, and some of them were pretty mean. Nothing kills the mood while you are on vacation than seeing somebody who obviously hasn’t read my whole blog fire off some mindless drivel about what a horrible person I am. So, the way I see it… Hate on me all you want, just don’t be a coward about it anonymously. If you want to insult me, then do it with your name behind it so I can respond. If you don’t have the courage to do that, you aren’t worth being in my inbox in the first place. Now, two things need to be said about this. First, I promise to respond to a person directly and privately before I post anything with names on it. I’m not here to embarrass anybody. And second… This may or may not be permanent. I am going to see how it goes for a couple weeks and see how I feel. If I don’t get anything interesting, I might turn on the anonymous ask feature again.

Ok… I’ll get off my little soapbox here, and get to the fun stuff that you all came for…

So, for those of you that remember, right before I left for vacation, I found myself in a bit of a pickle… I didn’t have a Halloween costume or anything planned, but my friend was having a Halloween party last night. Well, I got home yesterday at noon… So I had like 4 hours to put a costume together, and of course, my awesome Tumblr followers came through and sent me ideas the whole time I was in Hawaii. I got a lot of suggestions, some cute, some sexy, some funny, some gross…

I just thought I’d share a few:

Wear my lingerie and heels and be a Victoria’s Secret Model (of course). Put on a low cut dress with lots of T&A and be a celebrity, while giving my bf a bunch of cameras and making him be paparazzi. (Could be fun) Dress up in a toga and sandals, and have my bf wear a green shirt and stick fake croutons, tomatoes, celery and carrots to him and go as a couple. (Caesar-salad… Get it?) Go dressed as Batman, and make my boyfriend go as Robin. (To show who was the boss, of course)

I liked those. But the one I ended up doing was both super easy, and super sexy to pull off, and still had the added hint of the power play that goes on behind the scenes with my boyfriend and me. It was actually suggested by one of my favorite people on Tumblr… @toricooperauthor. If you haven’t checked out her blog, do it now. Seriously, this post will be here when you get back. Go follow her, she is amazing. Every time we talk, she has some awesome idea for me to try…

Back yet? Ok, cool…

So, while I was in Hawaii, two days before I left to come back, I texted my boyfriend, and told him I knew what I wanted to do for the Halloween party costumes, but that I needed him to go get a couple of things for both of us, because I wouldn’t really have time. I gave him a list: a visor for me, a pair of workout wristbands, a workout headband, and as plain or boring sweater vest for him that he could find. He asked me what he heck kind of costume I wanted to make, and I told him it would be a surprise…

Oh my goodness, that flight is long. It was something like 10 hours of travel time, including layovers, and I have a really hard time sleeping on planes, so I got next to no sleep, and by the time I got home, I had been up for almost 36 hours straight. Suck. So I was exhausted, but my bf is sweet, and picked me up at the airport and took me home. He told me that he got everything that I had asked for, but he still didn’t know what I was planning. I told him to trust me, and took a nap for 2 hours, just so I wasn’t completely exhausted for the party.

Quick side note here… Thank God that Halloween was on a Friday night this year. If it was a mid-week holiday, there was no way I was going to go out after that trip.

So, about 4pm, my bf wakes me up and says “Court, do you want to go to Karissa’s party or just sleep? Either is fine with me”. (By he way… same Karissa from my birthday story a while back). I assured him that I was good to go, and popped up, and told him to wait 15 min while I got dressed, and then we would go over to his place for his costume. I put a pair of tennis shoes, white socks, a pleated white skirt, a white tank top and a black sports bra, put my hair in a ponytail and put on the visor and wrist bands. Then I went down to my closet where I keep all my random crap (snowboard too) and got out a tennis racket and a couple of tennis balls. And wa-la! Tennis Pro Courtney! It was super easy, a little flirty, and still totally socially acceptable. When my bf saw it, he was like “oh, ok, I get it. I’m cool with that… I had a little surprise for him though…

When we got to his place, I told him I wanted him to wear something along the same lines, but a bit more ridiculous. I told him I wanted him to wear knee high socks with his costume, and the shortest shorts he could find. Then I made him put on a white polo shirt, and this blue and tan sweater vest over the top of it. I had him put on the sweatband on his head too, and that was pretty much it, he was done… He asked me if I forgot a tennis racket for him, but I said no, he didn’t need one… He was my ball boy - and I dropped a tennis ball in front of him while looking right at him. He looked at me a little funny, but then I did the little “Ahem!” thing, and pointed to the ball, and he got the picture. He grinned and sheepishly picked it up and handed it back to me. I just said “all night long, understand? Every time that happens, you better come running” And he smiled. He knew the deal…

Karissa’s party was awesome. She and a couple other girls share a big house, and it is a good party house because it is open, and has a big outdoor space with an awning over it so you can be outside, but still be covered if it is rainy or whatever. It’s pretty cool. Anyway, by the time we got there, there were like 20 other friends/acquaintances of ours there already. Some cool costumes, some stupid ones, some that didn’t even try. I couldn’t criticize anybody though, because mine was pretty simple too. I told people that I took the easy way out because I had just gotten back from Hawaii, and that usually sufficed to change the conversation away from my relatively uninspired costume effort. However, I would randomly “drop” a tennis ball during every other conversation or so, and my boyfriend would rush in, pick it up, hand it back to me and rush out whenever it happened. It made most of my friends laugh a few times… Here was Courtney and her boyfriend, being all cutesy in couples costumes… Right? I felt a little sneaky… A little devious. All those people just thought he was my ball boy, but he and I both knew what was really going on… After I had a few drinks, I stopped calling him “my ball boy”. And started calling him “my ball bitch” in front of my friends. They still laughed. He blushed a little… I wonder why?

At about 8 or 8:30, I decided I was feeling frisky enough, so I sorta cornered my boyfriend alone for a minute, and asked him how he liked being my little ball bitch? He told me he liked it, and I asked him if he wanted me to take it further. He asked what I had in mind, and I told him I could text Brandon and invite him over… After all, I hadn’t seen him in over a week, and I was getting a little… antsy again. After a little bit of whispering in his ear for convincing, and a little bit of light petting… He finally agreed. I said “thanks babe”, and pulled out my phone to text Brandon.

I asked him what he was doing, and he said he was just drinking beer and watching basketball on TV. I told him that I was home from Hawaii, and that I was at a Halloween party with my bf, but that it was really boring, and my bf was probably drunk already, and I may have mentioned how I hadn’t seen him in a long time… Hint, hint… His first reaction was to say that he didn’t have a Halloween costume, but when I assured him that a fair number of people at the party didn’t have one either, he agreed. I texted him the address, and he said he would be over in about a half hour. I immediately went back to the back hard and found my boyfriend to tell him what was up. I told him “remember, you are already pretty drunk -but I might be a little tipsy too, and you know how I get a little handsy when I get tipsy”. And he said that he would do his best, he was just nervous about seeing Brandon again… I could understand that. I’m sure it’s a pretty awkward position to be in… But… Too late now!

Brandon showed up about 20 min later. He did go through some effort… He put on some kind of Tshirt with a skull on it. Better than nothing I guess. He knows Karissa, but hadn’t ever been to her house, so it wasn’t like he was crashing the party or anything. He said his hellos, played it cool, and walked around the party a few times. I was talking to a couple friends, and he was right over one of my friends left shoulder, in another group of guys talking, but I knew he was looking at me… I could feel it. I wasn’t even really listening to the girls I was standing with, because I was concentrating on Brandon… I dropped a tennis ball “Oops! Ball Bitch?!?” He came running, the girls laughed… Haha, funny little Courtney and her cute ball boy boyfriend… How innocent…

In the garage, Karissa and her roommates had set up a beer pong table. If you don’t know what beer pong is, google it. It is called different things in different places, but essentially you have two teams and you try to throw a ping pong bottle into cups of beer to make the other team drink… Simple enough, right? Well, I saw this, and decided that I wanted to play. The way we play, you need a partner, who stands next to you, and he competition is on the other side… So I had an idea… I went up to my bf, and told him to go get a beer, and go the the garage, but be really drunk, and to tell me no when I asked him to be my partner.

I went back to the garage, and here were probably 10 or 15 people there watching, and 4 people playing. Just like I has suspected, Brandon followed me out there soon after. The game continued until here was just one cup left for one team, at which point, I called e next game… No arguments from the crowd… I just needed a partner. I asked my drunk boyfriend who was leaning up against the garage door with half open eyes and a beer in each hand (nice touch!). But he told me no! (The nerve!). I needed to find a partner quick, so I went up and asked Brandon… “What do you think? Want to play?” He said “won’t he be pissed?” And nodded at my boyfriend. I said “he doesn’t even know where he is right now”. And after he looked at my bf another time or two, he agreed to be my partner. Perfect.

In beer pong, you take turns, one team shoots, then the other… The more you drink, the worse you get, for obvious reasons. Brandon and I did alright our first game. We actually beat the team that had won the game before that. So we stayed at the table, and two guys were up next for the following game. That’s when I “really started to feel it”. Or so I told Brandon. My shots “accidentally” got farther and farther away from the cups, until one time… Oops! I missed the table all together! My ping pong ball went rolling around the garage floor. “Ball Bitch?!?” (His role want just for tennis balls, right?). He got up, and stumbled around remarkably well (maybe he was actually drunk by now?). And as he chased the ball, everybody in he garage laughed… What a cute little innocent couples costume…

I took the opportunity with everybody distracted by my gentleman of a boyfriend to arch my back, and grind my ass right into The front of Brandon’s pants. I wasn’t subtle. He got the hint. A few turns later… “Ball bitch?!?” More laughter, and this time his hand went up my skirt and grabbed my ass… Yup, this was happening…

We lost the beer pong game. I didn’t care. I told Brandon I would be back in a minute, and I took my boyfriend by he arm and led him into the house, and into a corner again… I’m sure everybody at the party saw how drunk he was, and was assuming that I was telling him to stop drinking or something… Little did they know. I told him about Brandon feeling my ass while everybody was distracted. I told him I missed on purpose the first time so I could make sure he knew I wanted it… It turned him on immediately. I asked him what he wanted me to do next, and he said “more”. And I said “no, that’s not going to cut it ball bitch, I want to hear you say it”. And after a moment or two of resistance, he said “fuck him”. And I said “say it, all of it, I want to hear you say what you want your girlfriend to do”. There was a bit of a muffled moan, and he said “Courtney, please fuck him tonight”. I said, “are you sure? You haven’t seen me in a week either… Is that really what you want?” And he nodded, without saying anything. I said “good, get a ride home, I’ll see you in the morning”. And turned around and left him in the corner and went back to the garage.

Brandon was still there. We made eye contact. As soon as he saw me he came over to me again. I told him that [bf] was drunk out of his mind! and had no idea what was happening. We waited around for a bit… Talked to a few people… I tried to hide the fact that I was so turned on from all my friends who were there… We lasted about 15 minutes. When we went inside, my bf was gone. Brandon followed me out front. I didn’t say anything, but my bf’s car was gone. He probably just drove home. “Your house or mine?” I asked him, and we both got in his car. He drove to his house. On the way he mentioned that my boyfriend had to be a complete fucking idiot to get that drunk when his girlfriend looked like I did on Halloween night. (That’s a compliment, right?). I told him I knew, and that I was super pissed about that, and that was why I was going home with him… He liked that.

His roommate was home. The same one that let me in when I went for the evening jog. He saw us when we walked in the door. I didn’t care. We went straight to Brandon’s room and I was on all fours on his bed in about 4 seconds. He didn’t even bother with the tank top, sports bra or skirt, just yanked off my underwear and dropped his pants. It was fucking hot. I told him I wanted it bad. I told him I wanted it to be hard. I told him that a 9 day trip to Hawaii was too long to go without ass. I moaned a little when he called me a little slut and pulled my hair. I came. Lots.

In all the times I’ve been with Brandon, it has been a matter of an hour or two. Except for the quickie for 15 min on the night of the jog, and the long marathon that was my birthday. It was always sex. Just sex, and then leaving. I didn’t do that last night. We fucked 3 times last night. Then I was so exhausted, both from the sex and the travel before, that in couldn’t stand it. I slept there, naked, with him. Then we went at it twice more in the morning for good measure before I walked home. Yup. Did the walk of shame… So sue me. I liked it. So did my ball bitch when I told him about it this afternoon. It made him cum without me even touching him…

Happy Halloween everybody! Hope you had fun. I know I sure did.

Redefining a Relationship?

I want to start this update with a thank you to everybody who wrote in to me to talk about their opinions on my boyfriend, and his behavior towards me lately after I mentioned it in my last post.

A lot of you were on the same page as each other, and a couple of you even had some words of advice/caution for me.

Many people said similar things, but one note in particular had a real impact on my thinking for the past week or so.  I won’t say who it was, because they didn’t give me permission to mention them, but here is the gist of what they said:

First of all, be careful. I am playing with fire here.  There are a couple of reasons why my boyfriend acted the way he did towards me, and they all mean I need to be careful, and I should talk through things with him more.  

1-  He may be scared.  Scared of what this has all turned into, and whether it may have gone too far for him.  He might be scared that he can’t tell me he is uncomfortable with things because he he thinks that I might leave him if he were to speak up.

2-  He may be getting angry at me.  Angry that this whole thing started out as his fantasy, and of late, he hasn’t gotten much of the attention, because it’s all been directed to finding/going out with/fucking Alex.  If I withhold details, it could make for more resentment, which would make this sort of lifestyle significantly less hot for both of us.

3-  He may actually LIKE the idea of me holding back some of the details.  Maybe he does think the not knowing is hotter than actually knowing.  Maybe his imagination of what I am capable of doing is hotter than me telling him what I actually plan to do.

4-  Maybe it was a power thing.  Maybe - while I was just joking around with him - he saw it as me taking more control in our relationship, and his reaction was just something he said because he was surprised.  That could be “good surprised”, or “bad surprised”, but I wouldn’t know until I talked it through with him.

So… I thought about it a couple of days.  I thought, and thought… And went around with “what ifs” a while.  These days, my boyfriend acted pretty normal toward me.  He wasn’t moping,or crying, but he wasn’t jubilant and excited either.  He was actually pretty neutral.  (Side note here - for all the guys that say that women are impossible to read, let me just say that trying to tell if you have crossed a line or not with your boyfriend when you sleep around and tell friends about it- is 10 times harder than reading any lady’s body language or subtle clues to see how she’s feeling). I decided that before I talked to my boyfriend directly about this, I wanted to get another opinion…

On my lunch break, I called Shauna.  “Hello, Shauna? Can you meet me for a drink? I have some things I need advice about”. She couldn’t that day, she said that she had already made plans, but the next day she was in.  That night I was confused, and worried, and I’m sure I was over-thinking things.  It didn’t help that Alex texted me that night too.  He just said “hey, are you busy tonight?”  I didn’t answer.  I felt like I owed it to my relationship to get some answers before I did anything more with Alex. I was sure he will get by without me somehow…

So Shauna and I met the next day for happy hour.  I did tell my boyfriend before hand that I was meeting her.  I tried to gauge his reaction…  “Ok, cool.” That’s it? Yup.  Not much there.  Angry? Casual?  Excited?  I couldn’t honestly tell.  Shauna and I sat down, and I she immediately asked me about Alex… How did it go? Did I sleep with him? Did I like it? What did my boyfriend say about it?  I answered everything honestly.  I wanted her advice, so I told her the truth.  Until that last question about how my bf reacted.

I told her what I said, and what how he reacted… And how he didn’t push for details, even though I could tell it was killing him.  The question was why was it killing him?  Shauna thought about it for a while, and asked me what I thought.  I figured that I would just give her my list of 4 major possibilities listed above.  But then… I sorta made a little mistake…  I said “Well, most people seem to think that…”  That’s as far as I got before she interrupted me. “Wait, ‘most people?’ what do you mean?  Who else knows about you two?”  I was stuck.  I didn’t really have a reasonable story to cover the ‘most people’ slip up.  She asked again, “like more than 3 or 4?”  I could feel myself blushing a little bit.  “Yeah, I guess you could say that” I managed to say, but that only confused her more.  “Ten? Twenty? Fifty?  ‘Most’ of how many?”  I felt like the longer I let it go, the harder it would be to come clean later.  “Ok, this is going to sound weird, but I sorta have a blog.”  “A blog? About this? Get the fuck out?!”  All o could do was smile sheepishly and feel my cheeks turn red again.  She pulled out her phone immediately.  “What’s the address?”  After a couple minutes of trying to avoid doing so, and realizing that she wasn’t taking ‘no’ for an answer, I told her.  Funny thing is…  She has her own Tumblr.  And I gained another follower, right there as I was sitting at a bar with her.  So…  Hey Shauna… Welcome to the blog side of things too…

It’s a strange feeling knowing that somebody I actually know is going to be reading this.  I’m not sure how I feel about that yet… But I digress…

So, then I told her… About my/all of your theories as to why my boyfriend acted the way he did towards me.  At the end of it all, we made a couple decisions together:

The last thing I wanted to do was hurt him, or do anything that would make him think I was leaving him.  I had to prepare myself for the very real possibility that #1 above may have been true.  If it was, I told myself that I had to stop.  With everything. The other guys, the dating, the blog… Everything.  If he was legitimately unhappy or scared about this, I was done.  I was ready for the end of everything, and just going back to being me and my bf.

I needed to make sure the he knew I was willing to tell him those details I withheld before, I wasn’t actually lying to him by omission, and I had to make sure that he knew I was just trying to be playful with him, not a bitch.  I had to make it clear to him that I don’t want to drive him away by excluding him.

I had to prepare myself for the alternative too… What if he liked it?  What would that mean?  Should I withhold more details from him?  Should I tease him with the details over a longer period of time, just to watch him squirm?  What if he actually LIKED it when I was a little bit bitchy to him?

Shauna and I finished up with our drinks, and paid.  I thanked her for listening, and she thanked me for letting her in on the blog.  I drove home.  On my way, I called my bf, and asked him if he could come over, because I wanted to talk to him about something.  He agreed, but said that he had to drop off something at the post office before it closed, and he would head over after that.  (Again… hard to read…  Blowing me off? Completely innocent?)

Before he got there, I decided that I was going to make this night about him.  If it was true that he was feeling neglected recently, I was going to make sure he didn’t leave feeling that same way.  I went upstairs, and changed out of my work clothes, and into something more casual, but still a little flirty.  I just wore a pair of black and purple running shorts, and a white tank top.  I actually changed my bra too - to a black lacy one - and made sure it was visible on my shoulder, because I know that drives him crazy.  I pulled my hair back into a ponytail, and went downstairs to start cooking.

I honestly had no idea what to make.  I didn’t have a plan until I looked through my fridge.  Had I known that morning that I was going to be making a spontaneous “impress the boyfriend” meal, I probably would have gone and got some steak or something.  I had none of that….  Soooo…  I had to improvise.  Ground beef?  Cheese? Sour cream? Tortillas?  Who doesn’t love some romantic tacos?  Ehhh… It wasn’t going to be the best, but it would do.

I was about 10 min away from being done cooking when he got to my place.  He came in, and asked what I was making.  We’re tacos alright?  “Yeah, sure”. (Again… Reading his thoughts about all this was either a complete exercise in futility, or me way over-analyzing things)

I got him a beer, and told him to relax on the couch until dinner was done cooking.  He did, and came over to the kitchen when I called him.  We each made a couple of super-delicious tacos, and sat down to eat.  I came right out and said it.  “I want to talk to you about a few things, and I need you to be completely honest with me, ok?”  He agreed.  “Are you upset at me?  About anything?”  He said no, and looked genuinely confused as to why I would ask.  I supposed that was a good start…  

I kept going…  “What about that other night, when you clammed up when I told you that asking about Alex was too personal?” He answered that he just assumed I didn’t want to talk about it.  I asked him, if that were actually the case - how would he feel about that answer?  He said it drove him crazy (I could tell) but he wasn’t mad.  I asked why.  “Because, I want you to do whatever you want to do with him” 

“But I thought you got turned on by hearing about what I do with other guys”. He assured me that he did, but that he is equally turned on by me knowing I have the power to do whatever I want, with whoever I want, and not feel like I need to be answerable to anybody for it, including him.  He would love to hear about it, but that was 100% my decision of and when I wanted to tell him, and that he was completely fine with that.  Hmmm.  Well that was interesting.  At this point, I felt pretty confident that we weren’t going down the path of option #1.

“So, what if I told you that it was ridiculously hot, and I’m absolutely going to fuck him again?”  He blushed, and looked down into his half eaten tacos.  Pretty sure we can throw out option #2 as well.  He didn’t look up at me for a few seconds… I could see his face was red.  He liked it.  We are definitely looking at a #3 or #4 scenario here…  I decided to push it further.  Just to see what his reaction would be.

“And…” I paused for a second. “he has a really big dick”. He groaned, loudly.  Bingo.  That was all I needed.  I stood up, and walked over to him, and sat on his lap, straddling him, with my arms around his shoulders.  He still wasn’t looking me in the eye, but I could see his cheeks were flush, and I could feel his cock was hard in his pants.  “Look at me” he glanced up at me for a second, but then away. “No, LOOK at me” I said again, and started to slowly grind my hips into his crotch.  He looked up again, and this time, held eye contact with me.  I just stared into his eyes. He looked back at me. My hips worked the front of his pants.  “I’m gonna fuck his big cock again… Whenever I want to… And if you are good, I’ll tell you about it, ok?”  He but his lip, and his eyes closed, he nodded, and I swear he must have been purple he was blushing so hard.

I climbed off of him. And pulled him by the hand towards the stairs.  Half of the tacos were still uneaten, but what the hell… They were just tacos… On the way upstairs, I saw my phone on my coffee table.  I stopped, turned around, went back, and grabbed it.  “I want to show you something” said, and opened up my text message screen as I came back and led him upstairs.  I laid him on my bed, and showed him the text from Alex from a few days before.  If he would have paid closer attention, he would have seen the date, but he just saw the text, and the name on top, and that was enough.  “What do you think?  Should I go over there tonight?”  I asked him, snatching my phone back from him, and putting it on my dresser.  He didn’t say anything, just stared back at me…  So I teased him.

I pulled my tank top over my head and tossed it aside.  “Should I ask him to bring his motorcycle over here and fuck me here tonight?”  He groaned again.  I pulled off my shorts, and crawled up onto the bed, straddling him again, in only my underwear, and pushed him back onto my pillow.  His eyes were closed.  His mouth was closed, and he was breathing rapidly through his nose.  “It’s all my decision, isn’t it?” He nodded again, quickly, without opening his eyes. Mmmm.  What a rush.  Power. Adrenaline.  Wetness.  I pulled his hands to my hips, and held them there as I started to grind on him again.  “Look at me”

He looked up at me, and I stopped moving my hips on him.  I wanted him to focus on what I was saying, not what I was doing.  “Well, my decision is to fuck you tonight.  A lot”. I leaned down, and kissed him.  He kissed back.  

The sex was good.  Honestly, not the best- but pretty good.  I think I had him too worked up, because he didn’t last very long the first time.  But the second time was better, and so was the third.  I wanted him to know that I wanted it to be about him that night.  I wanted to make sure he knew that even if I made all the decisions with regard to our sex lives, he was still very much a part of it.  And in pillow talk between fucking, I made sure to tell him that if he is ever, ever, uncomfortable about anything, then the only way I will be mad at him is if he doesn’t speak up.  (I still have a little soft spot… So sue me)

The next day, at work, he texted me.  “You were amazing last night”. It made me smile.  (Yeah, we are looking at #3 or 4 for sure by now…) At the same time, I knew that he didn’t want me to answer with something stupid like, “you were too babe, love you, xoxo”. So I just wrote back, “I know”.  He said “It is so hot to picture my girlfriend as a hot little nympho”. And then, right there, at work, I got an idea. I texted him back, “thanks. You just gave me a great idea for A Halloween costume this weekend”

You guys remember Karissa?  Remember how I said she has a good house for parties?  Well, Halloween was no exception.  She told me the week before that she and her roommates were planning on hosting again this year, and I said that of course I was coming, and would bring my bf too.  She was fine with that, of course.  So… I was going, I just had to figure out the costume thing.

Id like to take a minute here for a minute to say another thank you to all of you guys who suggested costume ideas for me and my boyfriend.  There were a lot of interesting ideas.  Cop and prisoner, angel and devil, soccer player and referee… and about 10 other combinations that I’m sure I’m forgetting.  So thank you all.  My favorite was actually a biker chick.  I was almost sure I was going to go as a biker chick, and I had plans to buy myself a fake leather jacket, chaps, skull t-shirt, gloves, and sunglasses… But by the time I had thought it out, it was Friday night, and I hadn’t bought anything yet, so when my be said “nympho” I just thought… “Yeah, I could pull that off”, and changed my mind right there.

He wanted to know what my idea was, but I didn’t answer him right away.  Mostly because I didn’t know exactly how I was going to accomplish it yet.  How do you dress like a nympho?  Super slutty everything?  Hang on every guy I see?  While that may be fun, I didn’t want to do anything overt like that.  I needed to figure out a way to make it more subtle.  How do you make a nympho more subtle?  I thought about it for a while, and when I got home from work, I opened my closet, and started pulling out old Halloween attire to see what I could put together.

I was having a hard time.  I don’t have anything overtly slutty in my wardrobe.  I know that may come as a shock to some of you, but I do have somewhat of a reputation to uphold.  I was a bit upset… I actually came really close to saying screw it, and going to Hot Topic or something to fake a biker chick outfit at the last minute, when I thought of a way to pull it off.  A nympho? How about just a nymph?  That could be easy… It was subtle-ish.  I had an old hippie Halloween costume that I wore about 4 or 5 years ago for Halloween, and there was a flower belt, and some flower leggings with that.  I figured I could just use those. I also had a pink flower-y looking waist belt, and a green dress.

A forrest nymph… Why not?  I decided I was going for it.  I just needed some kind of wings, and maybe a wand or something.  I will readily admit, that it wasn’t my best costume of all time, but it worked.  I called my boyfriend, and told him what he was going to be for Halloween… I told him to dress like a nerd when he came to pick me up. (A nerd Courtney? Really? Why?)

On Halloween, late afternoon, my boyfriend showed up at my place in his nerdy costume.  He hiked his pants up really high, had some suspenders, wore knee high striped socks, and got some fake glasses, and a pocket protector too.  Again… Not our best costume work ever, but we were improvising here…

He asked me what I was dressed as when he saw me… “Hippie? Fairy?”  “Nope… I’m a nymph…o.  Get it?”  He looked at me funny… “Then why didn’t you want me to be a nerd?”  “Because, if I’m a nympho, then somebody needs to be my little virgin, right?”  He laughed.  Well… I thought it was clever anyway. And we didn’t have time to change.  This was what we were doing.

I told him he had to drive to Karissa’s house.  He asked me if we wanted to get a cab instead.  “No, I want you to drive”. He didn’t argue, and we got in his car, and he started towards Karissa’s house.  He did, however, ask my why I wanted him to drive.  “Because you aren’t drinking tonight”. He was confused.  “Why?  Court, it’s Halloween…”  I just looked at him, and said “Tonight, you are a virgin… And so are your drinks.  You can either use the excuse that you are driving, or just don’t tell anyone that you are only drinking water. It’s up to you”  Then I thought a little more, and added, “Oh, and also… Because I said so, that’s why.”

Wow… As soon as I said that, I immediately wondered where it came from.  Did I really just do that to him?  He didn’t argue.  I liked it.  I’m pretty sure he did too.  He wants me to make the decisions… So I did.  No drinking for him.

The party was cool.  It wasn’t crazy or anything.  When my friends asked what my costume was.  I told them… “I’m a nympho… Oops!  I mean nymph!  And [bf] is my little nerdy virgin!”  Mostly, everybody just thought I was silly.  Which I was.  I will readily admit that our costumes (and the explanations of them) were a bit of a stretch.

I stuck to my guns though, about making my boyfriend stay sober.  I think I did it, just to see if he would.  He did.  He didn’t tell people he wasn’t drinking.  Only I knew.  I made him bring me his drinks all night long to taste test.  He drank gin and tonics (hold the gin) all night long.

I did not.  I had more than enough for both of us.  I got pretty drunk.

At the end of the night he took me home.  He was sober (which was my plan all along really - a DD for the ride home) and drove us right to my place.  We crawled into bed, and he was really horny.  He wanted sex, but I was drunk, and loving the power thing, so I kept it going…  I told him I wanted him to eat me first.  He crawled under the covers, and gave me oral… For a while.  I came.  Twice.  Mmmmm, it was good.  I don’t know if it was the booze, his eagerness, my horniness, the power dynamic, or what.  Probably all of the above.  I liked it.

He wanted more after that, but I wouldn’t let him.  “Not tonight baby… Wouldn’t want to take your virginity…”  

I rolled over, and passed out.

I woke up this morning, and all I’ve been thinking about all day - is what decision I’m going to make next.

All for the Birthday Girl

Wow. Just wow.

That was, hands down, the most intense, powerful, and downright dirty birthday party I have ever had!

I woke up on Monday morning to a call from my boyfriend. Originally, I was planning on hanging out with him all day, but after last weeks admission that he wanted me to spend my birthday with Brandon, those plans changed. When I answered the phone, he said, “good morning beautiful, happy birthday. How are you feeling?” And I told him I felt great, and that I couldn’t wait to tell him about how hard Brandon fucked me for my birthday present.

We had planned to spend the day together, and we were thinking of going on a hike, and then to lunch and a movie or something, so he also had the whole day off. But we really couldn’t continue with those plans anymore, since Brandon agreed to come over, so i asked him what he planned to do instead. He told me that he was probably just going to stay home and wait for me to call him. I teased him a little, and asked if he was sure about that, because it would likely be a really long time before I called. He told me he was fine with that, and said he wanted me to take all the time I wanted and enjoy myself.

So I did. When I got off the phone, I made myself some coffee and waffles for breakfast, and after I ate, I texted Brandon to tell him that he could come over anytime. He answered me back that he would be at my place in a couple of hours. So I took a shower, and shaved my legs and armpits like normal, but while I was shaving, I decided to take it a little further.

So, normally I try to keep the downstairs trimmed nicely and tidy, but I’ve never really gone all he way with it before. Well, I decided to on Monday. I don’t know why I decided to do it. Maybe it was just to be different, maybe it was to be the “bad girl” that my boyfriend apparently wants me to be… I don’t really know why, but I decided to just go ahead and shave everything off. It took a little while to get done, because let me tell you… If there is one place that you do not want to cut yourself while shaving, that is it. So I did it. I did a pretty good job of it too. It looks good. Would I do it again… Maybe. Let’s see how this goes for a while.

When I got out of the shower, iI put on a Tshirt and shorts for a while as I did my makeup. I figured that this “bad birthday girl” thing was going to be a theme for the day, so I might as well look the part too. So I went a little more dramatic on the makeup than I usually would. Not like outrageously slutty or anything, just something more suited for a Friday night out dancing, rather than a Monday morning. He wants me to look hot, remember?

I looked at my phone as I was finishing up my makeup, and Brandon had actually left me a voicemail. I don’t know how it missed the call, but I swear my phone never rang, and it was beside me the whole time. Anyway, I listened to it, and he said that he was on his way over, and that he would be there in 20 min. That was a lot sooner than the original “couple of hours” he had said before. I had this dirty little fantasy in my head of wearing the lingerie my bf bought for me when I opened the door for him, but really I didn’t have te time for that now. I hurried downstairs and cleaned up my kitchen a bit from breakfast, and right as I was about done, he knocked on my door.

What a rush. Here I was, on my birthday, freshly clean, shaved, and made up, about to open my door and invite a guy into my house that wasn’t my boyfriend, and most definitely wasn’t there to play Yahtzee. I would be lying to you if I didn’t tell you I was already more than a little turned on.

I went to the door and opened it for him. He didn’t exactly take the same amout of time to get ready that morning that I did. He hadn’t shaved, and had some noticible stubble going on, and he wore baggy shorts, flip flops and a dirty shirt. No matter. They wouldn’t be on for long anyway.

When I opened the door he said “good morning Court, happy birthday. I brought your present.” And he grabbed the front of his shorts. Total class. I laughed a little, and rolled my eyes a bit but I told him to shut up and get inside. He came in, and I closed the door behind him. He then said something to the extent of “So, you’d rather spend your whole birthday with me rather than [bf]?” And I said “well, it’s his dumbass fault for having to work today (even though he wasn’t) - you got off, so you get me”

He asked me what I wanted to do, and when I shot back a “what do you think I want to do?” He said “well, you texted me, you know the rule”. But then I told him I wanted to do this a little different today, because it was my birthday, and told him to sit down for a while, because I actually had a present for him. He asked what it was, but I told him to sit down and be patient, and he would see. I ran upstairs to my room, and pulled out the birthday lingerie.

It is such an incredibly unique feeling to experience, I can’t even really describe how I felt putting it on. It was some sort of mixture of pride, lust, debauchery, evilness, taboo, selfishness, and heat. It was incredible. Knowing that I was putting on lingerie that my boyfriend had bought me, but never seen me in before, for the sole purpose of using it with another guy. My head was spinning, and I was so incredibly turned on.

When I came out of my room, I walked slowly back downstairs to my living room/kitchen area. Brandon was sitting on the couch looking at his cell phone, but as soon as I turned the corner he looked up, and his jaw just dropped. I wish I had a picture of his face. Priceless. I went right into the sexy-catwalk kinda modeling for him, and turned around a few times to give him the full view. He just sat there and stared, and kept saying “are you serious?” About 20 times, over and over again. He asked if this was his present, and I said yes, sorta… I told him the lingerie was actually a birthday present for me from my boyfriend, but that he hadn’t seen me in it yet. Brandon loved that! After that, while I was still doing my little modeling routine, he said “you’re dirty”. And all I could do was shrug and smile playfully at him.

He had his shirt off in no time, and his pants were off shortly after that. He told me he wanted me to keep the cami on, cause he thought it was hot, so I did. We went at it. There wasn’t the same “you start” - “no you start” drama there was in the past. We just both went for it like we knew what we were doing… Right there in my living room. On the couch, on the floor, over the back of the couch… It was great. And that was just the first session. It drove him crazy that I shaved for him. Every other time I was with him, I just trimmed. Not this time. We probably went at it for close to an hour, in various states of intensity ranging from heavy petting while catching our breath to getting my hair pulled while he was behind me and I was bent over the couch.

At one point, my phone even rang. I panicked for a minute, thinking it might be my bf telling me to stop… But it wasn’t. Turns out it was actually my mom, calling to wish me a happy birthday. I didn’t answer. I figured that it was best to let it go to voicemail than risk her hearing something. Brandon thought it was funny.

Brandon was rough. Like, he knew what I wanted for my birthday present. Heck, I was even the one who told him ass much over text. He did just that. I can honestly say that nobody, him included, ever slapped my ass so much in one week as he did that morning. I probably got 23 birthday spankings 5 or 6 times before it was done. I didn’t even try to stop him.

By about 11, I was completely exhausted, and starving. (Side note - sex burns a ton of calories!) so I asked him if he wanted to get something to eat. He said ok, so I went up and changed out of my lingerie (I know, sad, huh?) and back into regular clothes. I didn’t shower or anything. Probably a bad move, as you’ll see later. We jumped in his car, and went to get some lunch, but my butt was so sore that I had to sorta sit sideways in the chair, on my hip facing him. He thought that was funny.

We grabbed some food really quick in a drive through, just in case anybody inside knew either of us, and brought it back to my place to eat. We didn’t get very far before we were at it again. It started on the kitchen counter, but - while it sounds fun - that was actually really uncomfortable. Particularly when my butt still was sore. So, we sorta migrated upstairs to my room. Go time again. It was hot, and sweaty. My room has a window air conditioner, but we were both a little too busy to go turn it on, and at noon or so in August, my bedroom gets pretty warm. We didn’t care. It was raw, it was rough, and it was animalistic. I have never sweated so much during sex. It was great. I don’t know how many times we went at it… 4 or 5 maybe. It felt like it was on, then rest enough to catch our breath, get some water, grab another condom, (yes, still use condoms) and then right back at it again.

He is mean during sex. He said things that would make a sailor blush. It’s part of the reason I like it actually. But that afternoon, he took it to a new level, and I let him. He started calling my boyfriend an idiot, and saying he didn’t know what I needed. At first i was sorta taken aback, as the whole reason that this was happening was that my bf wanted it too. But then again, Brandon didn’t know that at all, so I let him continue to think that he was such a big stud. I even played along when he prodded me to say things too… Like how I needed him to fuck me because my boyfriend couldn’t do it right… Stuff like that. He liked that. It seemed to make him more aggressive, which, in turn, made me a little more compliant, and which I liked. I’m not gonna lie.

At about 4:00, I was exhausted. Like literally couldn’t get out of bed. I told him that my bf was going to be off soon, so he had to go. He reluctantly agreed, and after getting dressed he left. I managed to get some underwear and a sleep shirt on, and I passed out in my bed. I guess I wasn’t planning on that. I probably should have gotten up and taken a shower, but I wasn’t exactly thinking straight. I slept.

I woke up about 6pm when my phone rang. It was my sister… Another call wishing me a happy birthday, and another one I let go to voicemail. I called my boyfriend, and told him I was done, and that he could come over. He said that he would, but that he wanted me to get dressed for dinner. Apparently he had reservations at 6:30, and was only minutes away from calling and canceling them if I hadn’t called him. I told him that I’d rather just go to dinner another night, but then he sorta came clean and admitted that he had been planning a birthday dinner for me, and had invited all my friends, and that they were all supposed to meet us at my favorite restaurant/bar downtown. How do you say no to that? So I agreed, and told him to come pick me up, and by the time our phone call ended he was already about 6 blocks away, and I had to get ready fast.

So, just to recap here, I had just spent the better part of the day getting my brains fucked out in a ridiculously hot bedroom, while sweating something fierce and getting my hair pulled and makeup ruined… A dinner out with my best friends on 10 min notice?!? What could go wrong?

I did a mad dash around my room and bathroom, trying to fix my hair and makeup as best as I could, and grabbed a red tank top and black skirt to wear, and my bf was coming in my door right as I was running downstairs trying to put earrings in and avoid falling down the stairs and breaking my neck also. I told him to be careful tonight, because I was really sore, and gave him a peck on the lips before grabbing my purse and heading out the door. On the way to the restaurant, I told him all about how sore I was, and how Brandon absolutely loved the lingerie he bought me… He got so turned on, that I had my hand on his crotch as he was driving and I was telling him everything that had happened that day. I actually felt bad when we parked, because he was hard as hell, and I just had to zip him up and give him a little pat because we were so late.

Dinner was great. It really was. I got to see a lot of my best friends, as well as some that I hadn’t seen since graduation. It was really sweet of my bf to plan everything for me. I hung out with everybody and had some drinks and caught up with old friends. We stayed out till about 11:30, which is saying something, considering I had to be up early for work yesterday. For some reason, I did a lot of standing that night - sitting was still a bit uncomfortable for me.

The absolute funniest thing that happened all night happened after dinner when I went to the bathroom. My friend Karissa happened to be in there at the same time as me, and she wished me a happy birthday, and gave me a huge hug, and then, as she was moving away, she stopped for a second, and leaned back into my neck and sniffed. I didn’t really know what to think… But then she whispered to me “Courtney, you smell like hot sex.” I probably turned 8 shades of red… If she only knew. She saw me blush, and smiled and said “yeah birthday girl! [bf] is treating you right!”

She was half right.

Busy, but making progress

Work is really starting to get moving now. I’ve only been there a short time, but is already feel like I’m doing some really good work, even though sometimes I feel like I’m drowning and putting in long hours just to keep up. I’m sure that after I get settled in and really get into a groove, I will be able to manage without having to work 10 hour days. But… I’m not complaining. It’s busy, but good busy.

As far as other things go…

So, in addition to being pretty busy, I am meeting a lot of new people. One of which is a guy that is crazy hot. Like, seriously shouldn’t even be legal hot. He is older than me, and on one of the other teams of people on the same project as I am. His name is Dan, and he is super smart and I get to work with him a lot, and I would be totally, 100% ok with getting him into bed. Only one small catch… He is married and has a kid. Damn! I don’t think I want to try to get involved there yet. Which is unfortunate… Mostly just for me. I told my bf about him too, and he was all for it, but I don’t really want to risk being a homewrecker, so I think that he might just be eye candy for me for the foreseeable future. Sigh.

Anywho… My bf was hinting ever since the last time that Brandon and I hooked up that he wanted me to do it again, but I hadn’t really been able to do anything for a while. Mostly because I wasn’t sure I liked the way I felt about myself after the last meeting, but also because after working 50+ hours a week I was just too burnt out to try to arrange anything. But his constant hints for a week or so gave me enough time to come to terms with those feelings, and last Wednesday evening, he actually convinced me to text Brandon again.

So, the plan was for me to text Brandon and invite him over again on Thursday night, just like last time, but as it turns out, I never got the opportunity to do that. While I was working that day, I actually looked at my phone over lunch, and Brandon had texted me… Fortuitous, huh? He just said “hey, you should come over tonight”. I called my bf right away to tell him that Brandon had actually invited me over, and he was ok with me going, so long as I came back to his place when I was done.

So, I texted Brandon back and lied. I told him that I couldn’t, because I was working, and then going to my bf’s house when I got off for dinner. Well, for whatever reason, that made him try even harder. It was perfect. Boys are so easy to manipulate sometimes… He answered back and told me I should make up an excuse and come by his house before I went to my boyfriend’s place when I got off.

Wait, he gets to think he’s making me stray again, my bf knows and is cool with it, and I get two boys in one night? Well gosh, what a terrible deal.

So, I called my bf and told him that I was headed to Brandon’s place when I got off, and I promised to come over to his place when I was done. He was totally excited I was willing to do this again after the first time. As soon as I got off the phone with him, I called Brandon, and told him I would stop by, but that I had to hurry, because I had told my bf that I had to work late again and that we would have to push dinner back a little. That was all a total lie, of course, because we actually hadn’t made any plans at all, and my bf knew everything that was happening.

When I got to Brandon’s house there was nobody else there. No roommates, just me and him. I felt hot. I really did. It was different than the first time I “cheated” because this time I felt like I was more in control. That is weird to say, but that was how I felt. He let me in, and almost immediately started his machismo thing again. He said “I knew you would come over again” and I answered back “you texted me first, remember?” It was playful flirting… And then he tried the same trick as he did the first time, and said “so, you want to give me head at the kitchen table this time?” And I got this crazy power rush, and something came over me, and I completely threw the whole misogynist thing right back in his face and said “oh no, you texted me first this time. That means you start. Here. And hurry up because I don’t have much time”, and I just sat down, right there on his living room couch and just stared at him.

I have never felt the way I did that night, at that exact moment. It was amazing, I felt both this huge sexy - almost dirty - feeling, and at the same time this immense power thrill. I don’t know what gave me to confidence to snap back at him like that, but I absolutely loved it!

He didn’t need to be told twice. He had my business skirt hiked up around my hips about 30 seconds later, and I had Brandon on his knees, with HIS head between MY legs to start this whole encounter this time.

I’ve never had public sex before. I never thought it was a smart idea. But that evening, Brandon and I had sex right there on his living room couch. I had no idea where his roommates were. They might have been across the country, they could have walked right in the front door and seen us. Believe me, the thought crossed my mind more than a few times. I didn’t even try to stop it, or suggest that we move to his bedroom. The unknown - the risk - made it hotter for me. I actually wondered what one of his roommates might think if they had walked in on us. Maybe I was “Brandon’s new girlfriend”. Maybe I was “some cheap slut Brandon brought home”. I didn’t really care. Whatever anybody wanted to think of me was fine with me. It was liberating. Now, nobody ever did walk in, but by the time our hurried, quick and dirty hooking up was done 30 min or so later, I found out that something I never really considered before could be a turn on for me.

My hair was a mess, and Brandon was all smiles, and I quickly got dressed again and told him that my bf was probably waiting on me for dinner, and I had to go. What a bad girlfriend I was… I left his house, and drove straight to my bf’s house, and as soon as I got inside, my bf was all over me. He damn near attacked me. He didn’t have dinner waiting or anything, just let me in, and took me right to his room, and we went at it again. Sex, twice, with two different guys in less than an hour apart. He was so hungry. The first time I “cheated” he gave me food and flowers. Not this time. He said he felt like he was reclaiming me. He wanted me to tell him every little detail about what happened, so I did.

I told him that while we were fucking on the couch I had wondered about his roommates walking in on us. I told him I thought that idea was hot. I told him I didn’t care what they would have thought about me… the cheap little whore that Brandon brought home. That drove him crazy. He loved that. His little high school sweetheart being so dirty. I pushed him further. I told him that I wanted to sleep around on him more, with lots of different guys. That finished him off. I was so sore by the end of the night, but it was so worth it.

When we finished, I just laid there with him. Pillow talk. I asked him if he liked what I did, and he said that he did, very much. I decided that I would play another card that I had been thinking of while he was laying there with his arms around me. The idea for this actually came from an interaction a few weeks ago with one of my followers, and I thought that was as good a time as any to bring it up…

I asked him if he had bought me a birthday present yet. (My birthday is August 18th by the way- I’ll be 23, just in case you guys care.) He said no, that he hadn’t yet, and asked me what I wanted. I told him that I wanted him to buy me three things: first, a new book that I’ve been wanting to read, second, a nice birthday dinner out with him, and lastly, I wanted him to buy me the sexiest lingerie he could possibly think of… So I could model it… for Brandon only.

Needless to say, I was a little late to work the next morning.

Fantasy Week

Last week, I got a great idea from a follower. They basically said that while it may be difficult for my boyfriend to confide all his thoughts and fantasies about sharing me when we talk face to face, he might be more willing to divulge that information if I talked with / flirted about it with him over text. He idea is twofold, first that it is “safer” for him in that he doesn’t have to see me face to face in case one of his fantasies might be “weird” and he could always say later that it was just in the heat of the moment or something. Secondly- once I learn of his fantasies, I will better understand how he wants to share me, and where his boundaries are. Once I know that, I can use that information to my advantage. Either by teasing him using those fantasies, exploring them with him, or perhaps introducing crazier stuff, just to see his reaction.

So, I told my boyfriend that this week, while I was at work, I wanted him to text me one fantasy per day, and that we would talk about it each night when I got home. He was nervous at first. He wasn’t sure that he wanted to do that, but a little bit of sitting on his lap and some soft petting seemed to do the trick to convince him that it would all be in good fun.

I was anxious to see what he said. All morning on Monday I kept looking at my phone for his texts. I didn’t tell him a timeframe, although I probably should have, so I had no idea when he would write me. I didn’t have any message until about two in the afternoon. When I finally got it, I was really eager to see what he had come up with.

In the interest of time, I will just list his fantasies by day, and then talk about each.

Monday: “I want to see you dress up really sexy and flirtatious when we go out with friends” I asked him more about this when I got off of work that evening. From his text, I couldn’t tell if he meant that he wanted me to do this once, or all the time. He said that the more I do it the better. I asked what he had in mind - I told him that if I wore a halter top and fuck me heels out to dinner with friends, that would not only be inappropriate for the occasion, but would probably lead to both of us getting some pretty strange looks. I told him that I was totally willing to look “hot” though, but I told him it would be at my discretion as to what degree. Maybe this means tighter dresses, shorter skirts and heels on occasion. If it means a bigger wardrobe for me, and it is a fantasy of his to see me look hotter and more available, I’m all for it. Easy one.

Tuesday: “I want to hear you having sex with someone else” This one sort of surprised me a little. I would have thought he would have said that he wanted to see me first, but he said hear. What does that mean? It took me a while to figure out how I wanted to approach that one. A while ago, one of my followers had actually suggested that I use a phone to call him while I was with Brandon. That would accomplish the “hearing me” fantasy for him, but it could be a little awkward to try to subtly call my bf without Brandon knowing what I was doing. I’m still thinking about how I can help him get this fantasy played out. Feel free to help with ideas guys… How can I let my bf hear me without it being awkward for the guy I’m with?

Wednesday: “I want you to sleep with somebody that is married” I’m pretty sure this stems from a conversation that he and I had a while back about this one guy I work with. He is gorgeous, and I would totally love to get him in bed, but, as I mentioned before, he is married and has a kid. I’m not sure I want to risk both the work situation and the homewrecker potential for this. So, will this fantasy happen… Maybe, I don’t know. But probably not with the guy that originally inspired it. If I happened to find myself in a situation that allowed for this in the future, then at least I know that my boyfriend is open to the idea. However, what I thought about this fantasy of his was that it was more revealing of what he is willing to let me to do and become. He loves the idea that his sweet little innocent girlfriend could be “the other woman” that tempted a married guy to stray. That is pretty devilish of him.

Thursday: “I’d love it if you would have a one night stand” We have sort of had this conversation before. Basically, when I asked him about this, he told me he wanted me to have a one night stand with somebody I had absolutely no interest in outside of that one night. He said that he wanted me to hook up with somebody that was completely not my type at all… A slacker stoner guy, some athletic hardbody with no real smarts at all; he even mentioned that he thought it would be very hot if I hooked up with a thug, tattooed, prison-like guy for one night. That one actually kind of shocked me. Usually, he is pretty reserved in his preferences for guys he is willing to share me with. That idea is not reserved or cautious at all. It’s scary, and dangerous, and uncontrollable. And those are all my thoughts, not his. I’m not sure how I feel about the criminal idea, but the thought of a one night stand might be worth exploring further, even if it is just used to tease out more fantasies of guys he wants me to try out.

Friday: “It would be hot if you spent all day on your birthday with Brandon” Boom. There it is. I knew there was something he was saving for Friday. I was actually pretty pleased with this little fantasy of his. It played right into the little suggestion I made for my birthday present earlier, so I knew that he had been thinking about what I had said. I took the whole day off for my birthday next week in advance, and I was planning on spending it with my bf, but he totally changed those plans with that text Friday afternoon. I couldn’t wait until I got off work to text him back after he sent me that, so I answered right away. “Does that mean you got me the present I asked for?” He didn’t answer, but when I got home, he gave it to me.

So cute. I thought it was perfect. He said he thought it was the hottest thing he could imagine me wearing. He got me a black lace cami with purple accent bows and drawstring in the back, black stockings and a matching black and purple thong. It’s actually very sexy. He probably spent close to $100 on me. He said that he bought it online, so he wasn’t sure if it would fit right or not, so I told him I would find out. I took the bag into the bedroom, stripped down, and put everything on. He did pretty well. It didn’t fit perfect, it was actually slightly too small, but I’m ok with him thinking I’m a little bit smaller size than I am. It wasn’t too small that I couldn’t get into it. Once I did, I couldn’t resist taking a picture of myself. I’m not sure why I did. Maybe to remind myself of my own situation, maybe to show my bf in the future… I’m not sure. I just felt sexy as hell, and I felt like it, so I did it. I took off the lingerie, and got dressed again before leaving the bedroom, and my boyfriend was pacing around the living room waiting for me to come out. He asked how it fit, and I just answered “wouldn’t you like to know”. Hot.

I told him to sit down while I texted Brandon, because I was about to make that fantasy of his come true. he did, and asked me what I was writing, so I told him the whole conversation as we texted back and forth.

Me: “hey, just wondering, what are you doing Monday?”

Brandon: “why, you want to come over after work again?”

Me: “I was thinking something different this time”

Brandon: “like what?”

Me: “it’s my birthday”

Brandon: “and you aren’t going out with [bf]?”

Me: “maybe later in the evening, but he’s working during he day, and I have the whole day off. Can you come over early?”

Brandon: “I’m supposed to work too”

Me: “is that a no then?”

Brandon: “is that what you want for your birthday?”

Me: “yes”

Brandon: “say it”

Me: “I want you to come over and fuck me all day long for my birthday, B”. (That was hot, I didn’t know why I called him B… I never have before, but I liked it)

Brandon: “I’ll get off”

And that’s that. I have a birthday date. A full day, doing whatever I want. Not only with my boyfriends approval, but fulfilling a fantasy of his at the same time.

Yeah, I could get used to this.

Graduation Party... OMG.

Hey everybody… Wow. What a week. I had two finals this week, and I graduated on Thursday. I am officially a college graduate. It feels pretty good, I have to say.

But, the purpose of this post is to tell you all what happened at my graduation party after commencement,

So, my whole family came up to see me graduate. It was so awesome to have them all there for me. I am the oldest of 3 siblings, and my parents were both there too. We actually decided to do a joint party, because my bf graduated also, and his family came up too. So after the commencement ceremony, my whole family and his whole family all got together, and did the party thing. I got lots of cards, some awesome gifts, and some cash too (yessss!). We had a barbecue, and grilled a bunch of food, and had all sorts of beer and wine for people… even had a cake with our names on it and a big graduation cap in the frosting.

Everything was going great, I was socializing, and thanking all of our families and friends for coming. We had a lot of friends graduate too, so some of them stopped in for a while, before heading off for their own parties, and then we have a bunch of friends that haven’t graduated yet, so they stayed longer and drank with us, played games, and did all the other stuff you do at graduation parties.

Well, I was having a grand old time, walking around, when all of the sudden, guess who shows up at my party… Brandon. Yeah, that same Brandon from the ski trip. The same Brandon that decided it would be a good idea to show up at my place unannounced while my boyfriend was there.

OMG. I had a little moment of panic. I’m standing there, right next to my freaking dad, and here is this guy showing up at my party that I cheated on my boyfriend with… multiple times. What the hell was he doing here? My whole family was here… My bf’s whole family was here. My mouth felt like I just ate a bag of cotton balls, and literally thought I might pass out when he walked right up to me. At first I thought I wanted to yell at him, to tell him to get lost. But then I realized that doing so would require me explaining myself to everybody at the party, and I didn’t feel like taking the chance of letting anything out. So I swallowed my tongue.

And then my panic gets about 10 times worse. He walked right up to me. What a cocky asshole. He said “hey Court, congrats!” And gives me a big hug, right there in front of my dad. I had to force myself to hug him back, but I thought I was going to die. And then my dad smiles and extends his hand to introduce himself, which he does, and Brandon introduces himself as “Courtney’s friend”. FUCK! Are you serious?!?

I fake a smile, and I’m sure my face is bright red as Brandon stands there talking to my dad about what he is in school for, and how long until he graduates (apparently he has one more year) and stuff like that. So I stand there watching this interaction, hoping I don’t actually have a heart attack at my own graduation party, and trying to think about why the hell Brandon would do this… And then, Brandon looked at me while my dad was talking, and just sort of did a casual smirk and nod in my direction. Didn’t say anything, just that sort of knowing, casual nod. I couldn’t breathe.

He knew exactly what he was doing! I can still see that nod he gave me, complete with that cocky little smirk. It’s burned into my memory of my own party. I remember it better than the Dean’s address at commencement, and it lasted 1/1,000,000th as long.

I had to leave… I just turned and left. I looked around for my bf. I don’t know why I did, but I wanted him to know about this happening at our party. Eventually I found him, and brought him close enough to see Brandon, who by this time was actually hanging out with a bunch of our other friends. He saw him and asked me “what’s he doing here?” I shrugged, and told him I didn’t invite him, which was honest. He just took a few deep breaths, told me not to worry, everything will be ok, and just to enjoy the party, which was much easier said than done.

My mom actually came up to me at one point and asked me if something was wrong… What the heck was I supposed to say? “Yeah mom, that guy over there fucked my brains out behind my boyfriends back, and now I’m panicking that everybody here will find out if he opens his mouth”? Of course I lied, and said that nothing was wrong. She said I looked a little stressed, and I “admitted” that I was just hoping that everybody was having a good time. She assured me that everything was great, and got me a glass of wine, which was her best idea all day.

So, there I am, in the middle of a party for my own graduation, and this guy that has known me, in the most carnal sense of the word - over and over again, is just casually hanging out with my friends and family, being buddy-buddy with my dad, and eating cake with my bf’s sister…

About then, I realized something. The nerve of this guy… The arrogance to show up at a joint graduation party for me and my bf… His attitude of apparently not caring about what he had caused the last time I saw him… His ability to have casual conversations while I was in a semi-panic… My boyfriend not going over to ask him to leave… And most of all, that damn knowing smirk/nod that he gave me…

It all turned me on.

Cuckold? Maybe...

So… Sorry for the delay since my last post. Last week was Spring Break, and I took full advantage of my last college spring break and went somewhere nice and warm and tropical. I spend the better part of a week laying on a beach and drinking mojitos. I know- rough huh? Anyway, I am back now and feeling refreshed and ready to crush this whole college thing… Hopefully.

So, back to the topic of this blog - one of you fine followers asked me a while back if my boyfriend is a cuckold.

The answer to that is… I didn’t really know. I honestly had no idea about the whole cuckolding fetish before recently when I was asked and started looking into it a bit more. I always just assumed it was me cheating… I never really thought that there could be a fetish associated with it.

After my bf caught me cheating and we had that “talk” I detailed for you guys earlier, we have come back to this whole cheating topic more and more frequently in conversations together. To the point where, while we were on Spring Break, I finally just asked him if he was a cuckold.

It was a very interesting conversation, and to be honest, more than a little hot for me. I would be lying if I said it didn’t turn me on a little to watch him sorta squirm around a bit at my question, and dance around the answer. I am going to give you his thoughts on it, and mine too….

Here is his basic take:

He doesn’t like the term “cuckold”. He thinks it makes him seem weak. He likes the idea of his “prim and proper high school sweetheart” having a dark side. He likes the idea that I can be promiscuous, and he seemed to really like the idea of his girlfriend being a bit of a slut. He isn’t thrilled that I fucked Brandon (multiple times) but he likes the fact that I was daring enough to do it. He is open to the idea of “sharing” me, but he wants to know what’s going on at all times.

Here is my take:

By definition, he is a cuckold. It doesn’t really matter if he likes the term or not, he is one. It isn’t really a choice anymore if he wants to be or not. It’s a yes or no answer, and the fact is that the answer is yes. Maybe it does make him feel weak, but that actually is his choice. The way I see it, he can do one of three things about it… 1- break up with me and leave. 2- stop letting it make him feel weak and start taking pride in it. Or 3 - learn to accept and enjoy that weakness. Either of the last two options is fine with me at this point, considering that I had pretty much resigned myself to the first one when he caught me, but he didn’t. If he likes the idea of me being a little slutty, then I am thinking that he will eventually come to terms with both the term itself and the weakness thing. Again, it turns me on a bit that he has some kind of sense of pride that I was so daring as to be with Brandon. To be honest… I kind of like the fact that he wasn’t thrilled that it was Brandon. Maybe it is because it makes me feel somewhat justified that I hid it from him… Maybe just because it was really hot, and I wouldn’t mind making that a “thing” with the two (3?) of us. As far as his point about wanting to know what was going on at all times in the future, he has a pretty solid point there. I’m not going to fight that point. If he is willing to share me, the least I can do as a “prim and proper” girlfriend is to let him know who he is sharing me with.

We still have some things to work out though… How I/we pick guys? How frequently we want this to happen? What is his role in all this? Those are questions that I am actually working through right now, so I don’t have answers for you guys yet. As soon as we come to an agreement on stuff like this, I will let you know.

So, that’s how we stand right now. We have a bit of an agreement here, but really I’m not sure what will happen next. If anybody has any suggestions, I would love to hear them!

It’s going to be a fun spring everybody! :-)

A New Year and a New Guy

The biggest thing I learned from cheating on my boyfriend with Ryan was to have confidence. I figured out that it is ok to be wanted. It is natural for a woman to feel like she is empowered, and boy did that ever grow in me. Fucking around with Ryan made me stronger, it gave me a power I had never felt before. I felt like I had power over guys, and I loved it.

The week before New Years Eve (not this last one, but the one before) I got invited to a NYE party at the house of a guy in one of my classmates. He is a pretty cool guy, we had worked together on a few things for various classes. He has the same major as me, so we had a bunch of the same classes together. Anyway, he invited me to come hang out at his house for a party, and told me that I should bring my boyfriend along too.

When I was done with class for the day, I called my bf, and told him about the invitation to the party. He seemed lukewarm to the idea, but said he would think about it. I didn’t know why he wouldn’t want to go, because it’s not like we had any other plans anyway. I let the topic go for a day or two, and then on the afternoon of New Year’s Eve, I reminded him of the party, and told him again that I wanted to go. He said no, he didn’t want to go. At first I thought it might be because he had other plans, but when I asked him what he wanted to do instead, he said he just wanted to stay in. Yeah, stay in. Can you believe that? I mean, I was a junior in college, not a 60 year old woman. Who stays in for New Years that doesn’t have kids or something actually important to do the next day?

So, needless to say, that got me kind of angry at him. We had a typical stupid argument that all couples have occasionally, and it ended in me telling him I was going, and in didn’t care if he stayed in. He said he was fine with that. Maybe that was just to argue, maybe he really did want to stay in, I’m not sure. Regardless, I left, went home, and got ready to party.

I made sure I looked good. I wore a really tight pair of black pants and a purple V-neck sweater. I wanted to have fun, I remember looking at myself in the mirror that night, while I was doing my makeup, and I had this thought like “I can do whatever I want. He can’t tell me what to do. He hasn’t caught me yet, I’ll show him. I’m going to get laid tonight.”

So, I went to the party with the full intention of adding to my list of infidelities. It was fun, I felt like I was shopping for guys, or hunting them. I purposely ignored a few texts from my boyfriend. A few hours into the night I had made my decision… If my boyfriend wasn’t going to go to a party with me on New Years, then I would reward the guy that invited me. This was going to be tricky… Remember, he is a classmate, I see him almost every day. He is a decent guy. I didn’t know how he would react. For the purpose of this blog, let’s call him Tyler.

I went up to him as he was messing with his iPod, which was playing the music for the party. I thanked him for the invite, and he told me he was glad I came. I hugged him. Not like a quick friendly hug, but a “I’m really, really glad you invited me” kind of hug. What a rush. I got that evil thrill and feeling that I was being naughty. After the hug, I smiled at him and said “now that’s what I call a hug!” He laughed and agreed. I left it at that for a while, and left him to spend some time talking to a few other classmates he had invited. About 11:30 he saw me and came up to me again, and asked me where my boyfriend was. I pretended I couldn’t hear, because the music was too loud. He asked again, and I made the “can’t hear you” gesture by waving my hand past my ear a few times. He led me down the hall a bit where it was easier with his hand on the small of my back *swoon* and asked again where my boyfriend was. Bingo. This was it, I had him relatively alone and turned up the heat a bit. I answered him “he’s staying home tonight, being lame.” Then I leaned in to whisper in his ear “and I’m a bad girlfriend”. I left him again for a while, but I made sure to keep my eye on him the rest of the night from across the room. When our eyes would meet occasionally, I would give him a sexy little smile, or bite my lower lip, just to look vulnerable and available.

At like 2 am, the party was finally breaking up, and most people had gone home, including all but one of our mutual classmates. Tyler came up and thanked me for coming again, hugged me again and asked me if I wanted him to call me a cab to get me home. I said “nah, I was kinda hoping you might let me stay with you tonight.” Well, shocker - that was all the motivation he needed. He took me to his room and we went at it. Multiple times that night. It was so hot. I felt like I was in control, and I could get what I wanted. And he was good too, so that was a bonus.

I woke up January 1st in the bed of one of my classmates, and added another guy to the list of people I cheated on my boyfriend with.

…morning after…<3 emmie @ le cocu quotidien.

…crossing a line…<3 emmie @ le cocu quotidien.

…<3 emmie @ le cocu quotidien.