Sooo
At the moment, i am almost back at my highest weight. I used to feel horrible about that and somehow, i still do.
On friday, i binged and felt totally unmotivated, i thought that i just fucked up another day
However, on Friday evening, i decided to save the day. i ran a half marathon even though nobody believed that i could Do it (well, i believed in myself at some point, but neither my family nor my friends, except for one, thought that i could do it).
I am amazed by what my body is able to do if i fuel it properly.
This is why i will now try to stop obsessing over my enormous thighs and start training, challenging and improving my body rather than wanting a lower number on the scale
Idk if this makes any sense, just wanted to vent lol
You can’t spell yummy without ‘umm’
Think before you eat.
Anyone else out here who has an ed but is obsessed with the 'that girl trend?
If there is someone, message me if you want to be friends and motivate each other to work out, eat small & cute portions and work out :)
I hate my parents for fatshaming me and encouraging me to get disordered eating patterns. I hate them for fueling my ed. I hate them for hating my body and making me hate my body. I hate them for making me diet at the age of nine even though I was thinner than my class mates just to teach me how a "real women diets" (even when my mum fails at every diet attempt) I hate them for not caring, for pushing me even further, for wanting me to stick to my diet rules.
I hate them for destroying my body, my life, everything I have
The first photo i was 55kg and now im 49 kg. This was just after my accident with all my muscles deteriorated
Would anyone like to do this diet via snapchat with me? Maybe we could even form a group on snapchat :)
Edit: we have a small group on snapchat where we do this diet together. Message me if you want to join :)
Once im skinny, i will spend all day posting pictures of my body lol
Montag, 21.06.2021
Morgens:
Gewicht: 54.2
Gegessen: -
Kalorien: 0
Hunger: nein
Essverhalten: -
Sport: spazieren vor der Schule
Vormittags:
Gewicht: -
Gegessen: -
Kalorien:0
Hunger: bisschen
Essverhalten: -
Sport: -
Mittags:
Gewicht: 54.1
Gegessen: weckauflauf und Apfel, danach noch weclauflauf sehr unkontrolliert
Kalorien: 600
Hunger: ja, aber auch richtig Heißhunger
Essverhalten: erst nur eine kleine Portion genommen, beim Essen abgelenkt, hat nicht wirklich geschmeckt, habe mich davor geekelt
Sport: -
Nachmittags:
Gewicht: -
Gegessen: 2 Pfirsiche, 3 dosenpfirsiche, später 6 maiswaffeln mit frischkäse
Kalorien: 550
Hunger: ja
Essverhalten: abgelenkt, in der Küche, alleine, schnell
Sport: -
Abends:
Gewicht: 55.5
Gegessen: -
Kalorien: 0
Hunger: nein
Essverhalten: -
Sport: 40min joggen, 21min bauchworkout
Fazit
Gewicht&BMI: 54.1kg, 19.4
Erste Mahlzeit: 14:30
Fastenstunden: 22
Letzte Mahlzeit: 17.30
Gesamte Kalorien: 1150
Getrunken: 3l
Schritte: 25000
Sport: 1h
My finals are coming up, they're 5 hours each
My teacher just talked 5mins about what, when and how we should eat 🤣
"Dont eat too much, then your tummy will hurt and it'll be hard to focus. But dont eat too little either, then your growling stomach will distract you"
Sir, I have an eating disorder. I dont know how to eat so that it's beneficial for me
TW venting, suicide
I hate my life so much rn, everything is falling apart. My parents wont stop fighting, my siblings treat me like a second choice, i have terrible anxiety about university and my whole body hurts. Like literally. My joints hurt so bad and it got steadily worse over the last 7 fucking years and nothing helps. Like not at all. Something is hurting 24/7 and it never gets better and i dont know what to do. I lie down and something hurts. I sit up and something hurts. I stand up and something hurts. I walk, jog or run and something hurts.
If there wont be a miracle anytime soon, ill either kill myself directly or start therapeuutic fasting and only stop once im dead lmao
I really cant stand this any longer, im so done with all of it
I just wanna end it all
hw 59.7 lw 50.2 cw 58.9 ugw 42-45 167cm somehow in semi recovery i guess TW
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