Latest Posts by coolnightfire - Page 5

I wonder if Jin Guangyao ever had the strange feeling he was parenting a small Jiang Cheng. Probably not when Jin Ling was happy—when would he have spent any time with a happy Jiang Cheng?—but imagine Jin Guangyao watching Jin Ling try food he's unsure about and the deeply suspicious expression is exactly like Jiang Cheng listening to Sect Leader Yao at the last conference. Jin Ling's big childhood feelings, his outbursts of temper and sulking, his desire to do well and prove himself (to his terrible cousins) all make Jiang Cheng's behaviour (though more publicly contained) increasingly familiar. Something something unwanted diagonal intimacies. Somehow even this leads to divorce (Guanyin Temple).

Wei Wuxian: I know we aren't on the best of terms right now, but I really need your help! I think someone's cursed Lan Zhan!

Jiang Yanli: But we ran into him in town. He seemed fine

Jiang Cheng: Yeah, except he's wearing rags and driving a cart. Did you steal his clothes or something?

Wei Wuxian: No! He said his normal robes weren't suitable for him anymore. I really don't know what's going on with him, and I'm really concerned!

Jiang Yanli: Calm down A-Xian. Tell us what happened

Wei Wuxian: I told you, I don't know! I walk out of the cave one morning-

Jiang Cheng: Right. "Morning"

Wei Wuxian: -And he's here! Tilling up the soil! He wouldn't answer any of my questions! Just throws a coin purse at my head and tells me to go to town and buy hay to thatch the roofs! When he does answer any questions, he gives the most insane answers!

Jiang Cheng: Doesn't sound like a curse. Sounds like an early onset midlife crisis.

Jiang Yanli: You said he gives insane answers? What do you mean?

Wei Wuxian: Oh he's back now. Just listen. Hey Lan Zhan! What do you have in the cart?

Lan Zhan: Blankets and cloth. We'll need them this winter

Jiang Cheng: Why did you get them? Don't trust the Wens with your coin?

Lan Zhan: The others are busy. It is no trouble for me to acquire these things. One should always aid their family and community

Jiang Cheng: Ok? Why are you here then? Your "family and community" are in Gusu

Lan Zhan: My husband and his family are here

Jiang Yanli: Who is your husband?

Lan Zhan: Wei Ying

Wei Wuxian: See!?

Jiang Cheng: FINALLY! I thought you two would never pull your heads out of your asses!

Wei Wuxian: What!? No! I'm telling you he's cursed!

Jiang Cheng: Yeah, with shit taste in men!

i will always love and appreciate the irony and parallel of how in the first siege, the cultivators mass-attacked the burial mounds and destroyed everything, using wei wuxian’s cave to hide the aftermath of their brutality and in the second siege, it is exactly that cave which shelters the cultivators and infact, saves them from the fate they had once dished upon the wens without thought or mercy. it is how the place they had collectively condemned and looked down upon is precisely the place that keeps them alive when their circumstances finally turn on them. it’s the way that it is the home that had once occupied wei wuxian–the enemy of the cultivation world–that becomes their salvation in the end.

also, i don’t completely remember this but the array that protects them was missing bits that lan qiren helps remake and the thought that the reason the array was broken in the first place was because it was barged into by the cultivators during the first siege, whilst the remaining wens were inside it, a last ditch effort to save themselves, breaks my fucking heart. because the cultivators of the second siege were saved by the very tools that wei wuxian CREATED to help and protect and secure the wen remnants, the very people that these cultivators and their predecessors killed in cold blood.

Lan Xichen: Uncle, you seem almost...wistful lately.

Lan Qiren: It's nothing very important. I've received some insight that has reminded me of the happier moments of my youth.

Lan Xichen: Oh? May I ask what caused this?

Lan Qiren: As you're not doubt aware, Wei Wuxian harbors so level of affection for Wangji.

Lan Xichen: Yes. Although I must admit I thought that would aggravate you.

Lan Qiren: It did. It still does to an extent. But a few days ago, I witnessed that horrible boy walk into a wall because he was looking at Wangji and not where he was walking. It reminded me of how Wei Changze acted when he first fell in love with Cangse Sanren.

Lan Xichen: Really?

Lan Qiren: Yes. In short, the guest students this year show promise, the weather has been mild, and a Wei is pathetically in love. So I'm feeling a little nostalgic

i actually admire lan wangji's character development a lot more when i acknowledge that prior to wei wuxian's death, he isn't actually as "righteous".

teenage lan wangji is regarded highly because he is upper class, has strong cultivation, and obeys his family and society's strict expectations. his rigidity and responsibility are more guided by the idea that his duty (the "right thing") is rule-following rather than doing actual good, even against those rules.

he's not a perfect stickler for the rules. he can be stubborn and petty, but even the few times he does transgress (e.x. kneeling before the gentian house) he doesn't get very far.

anyway... even with all his manpain struggling-- maybe even because of it, and because of his own lack of political power compared to people like lan xichen or lan qiren-- young adult lan wangji was honestly pretty entitled, even with his genuinely good intentions towards wei wuxian.

instead of doing the more difficult (yet right) thing of speaking up against those persecuting wei wuxian-- calling out his elders and the other clans as wrong, unjust, unrighteous, and acting against them (see jiang clan motto "do the impossible", which wei wuxian embodied very well)-- lan wangji was constantly trying to get wei wuxian to change himself and fall in line with society's expectations to avoid dying.

true, he eventually fights 33 of his family members... but by the time nightless city even happens, once jiang yanli dies, it's far too late.

yes, resentful energy is dangerous, and yes guidao is deeply misunderstood, and yes lan wangji didn't know about the golden core transfer. but even without knowing wei wuxian has no alternative, lan wangji knew that others were incorrectly labeling wei wuxian as evil. he knew the major clans kept attacking and provoking him, and while harder to realize, he could've reasonably seen how wei wuxian's actions are always twisted to demean him as a servant's son.

lan wangji wanted wei wuxian to come back to gusu so he could keep him safe, lock him up. but what would that have even helped in the end? love is a sympathetic cause, but locking up the one you love and never truly addressing why they're in danger is a selfish sort of love that doesn't reach the heart of the issues at hand.

only after wei wuxian's death is lan wangji able to let go of that. wei wuxian owed him nothing, not even change. lan wangji intentionally, purposefully chose each and every single day for thirteen years to remember wei wuxian by embodying what the man stood for, and acting accordingly. despite his grief and pain, he truly does become a good and righteous person.

contrast that with jiang cheng's reaction after wei wuxian's death. of clinging to everything he felt wei wuxian owed him. of vocally, violently demanding retribution after wei wuxian comes back to life. how dare you, why did you, you should've, you must... cattily justifying his aggression with equal parts resentful indignation and unhealthy "love" of their imbalance, of what they used to be.

lan wangji does none of that. by the time we reach the present day storyline, lan wangji, like wei wuxian, lets the past stay past and chooses to do good. even if that means going against the grain of society and expectations. he's a phenomenal person and character. i love him so much

Mdzs as a d&d game.

Dm: You are dropped into the Burial Mounds

Wwx: Can I survive this?

Dm: Make a constitution roll

Wwx: Nat 20

Dm: Alright, you survive. Now tell me how

Jc: I try to prove that it's Wei Wuxian

Dm: Roll for perception and charisma

Jc: 15 and 3

Dm: While there is almost no doubt in your mind that Mo Xuanyu is actually Wei Wuxian, you have no real means to prove it. You have to let the group leave

Lwj: I drag Wei Ying to the inn

Wwx: Hey! How come he gets to know who I am without a perception check?

Dm: Because you practically told him

Lwj: I would like to seduce Wei Ying

Dm: Roll for charisma

Lwj: 18

Dm: Alright. You tell Wei Wuxian in as simple terms as your drunk self can manage, how much he means to you. Wei Wuxian, roll for perception

Wwx: My dice just rolled off the table and into the trash

Dm: Unfortunately, the love of your life is stupid

Lan Yuan: Are you accusing me, Hanguang-jun's own son, of mischief? The flesh and blood of our own peerless jade? Me? Who was born of Hanguang-jun's husband's own hips, cause this disaster!?

Wei Wuxian, tearing up: They grow up so fast.

Crack plot

Jin Guangyao: If we want a bloodless solution to how the Yiling Patriarch should be handled, we should have a competition. Whichever sect wins will decide what happens to Wei Wuxian and the Wen Remnants.

Dumbass Yao: And what competition would we have?

Nie Huaisang: I don't really know, but what about whichever person can get Wei-gongzi to leave the Burial Mounds and Yiling willingly? I don't know, something like that

Jiang Cheng: Agreed. Once he's back in Lotus Pier, we can put all of this nonsense behind us, correct?

Jin Guangshan: Once there is a clear winner, their decision will be final. We can all move on to other things.

Jiang Cheng: Good. If that's all, I have a letter to draft.

Lan Xichen: Gentleman. If I may be so bold, I would like to make an attempt now, so there's no confusion about any success or failure that might come.

Jin Guangshan: Go ahead. What secret technique does the Lan clan have to summon demonic cultivators?

Lan Xichen: Just this. I'M SORRY WANGJI, BUT WE DON'T HAVE A CHOICE! YOU'LL HAVE TO MARRY JIN ZIXUN!

Wei Wuxian, out of nowhere: I'll skewer the Jin pig!!! Lan Zhan doesn't have to marry anyone he doesn't want to! That pompous prick doesn't deserve Lan Zhan anyway!

Lan Xichen: I believe I've won

Jiang Cheng: Go to hell!

Lan Zhan: Can I please leave your home before you invite me back in?

Also

Jiang Cheng: If I could go back in time, I'd find child Mo Xuanyu. And I'd give him to a loving family

Wei Wuxian: Aww that's so sweet!

Jiang Cheng: So that he'd never have a reason to resurrect you, and you'd be stuck in the body of someone ugly instead!

Wei Wuxian: aww

Also also

Jiang Cheng: YOU DEFLOWERED MY BABY BROTHER!

Wei Wuxian: I'm older than-

Jiang Cheng: NO ONE ASKED YOU!

Lan Zhan: *throws a bag of gold at jc's head*

Jiang Cheng: THE FUCK-

Lan Zhan: For Wei Ying's virtue

Jiang Cheng: YOU THINK ONE BAG OF GOLD IS ENOUGH TO MAKE UP FOR-

Lan Zhan: *throws another bag of gold*

Jiang Cheng: HOW MANY OF THESE DO YOU HAVE!?

Lan Zhan: How much do I need to buy your silence?

We as a fandom need to talk more about how Wei Wuxian changed the Burial Mounds. In the beginning of the story, we are explicitly told this is a place that will kill you dead and leave nothing behind.

"Look at the dark air. Tsk tsk tsk, the hostile energy is strong, isn’t it? And the resentful energy is thick, isn’t it? Even us at the Wen Sect weren’t able to do anything about it. We could only surround it and prevent people from going in. This is still daytime. At night, really any—-thing can be found in there. When a living person goes in here, both the body and the soul, they cannot return, unable to get out for all of eternity." - Wen Chao, Poisons, Chapter 60

But then of course, Wei Wuxian survives it. And then he returns, to this hell of a place that left him broken and bleeding, because he has no other choice, because the cultivation world is determined to kill innocents and they have no where else to go.

And within the three years that followed, he does what even the Wen Sect in their prime wasn't able to, and tames THE FUCKING BURIAL MOUNDS. The Wen Remnants start farming there, for crying out loud.

(I do think some of the taming started during when Wei Wuxian was first there, because they were able to enter the place without too much trouble.)

By the time the siege happens, people could walk in and out of the place, and it no longer carries with it the horror it once did.

Even after the siege, with Wei Wuxian dead, the clans are able to remain there, loot the place, and set up prevention measures against Wei Wuxian potentially coming back.

The various clans set one hundred and twenty stone beasts on top of LuanZang Hill and initiated frequent soul-summoning rituals, followed by heightened vigilance and searches for strange occurrences from all over the world. - Prologue, Chapter 1

And then, during the second siege, we again see the clans easily enter the place and throw around their ridiculous allegations.

MXTX shows that Wei Wuxian is a genius in many ways, of course, but this is one that makes me love him so much - with sheer ingenuity and willpower, he made a home out of a hellscape.

💠💙Fortunate Lines

By:diamondbruise

Summary:

“Ah, Lan Zhan, you will not believe what kind of divination I got! Now I feel embarrassed for dragging you here.”

Lan Wangji raised an eyebrow, an unpleasant feeling in his chest. There was a distinct impression of Wei Ying’s dramatics hiding true disappointment.

“You know what she said?” Wei Ying asked, with levity in his voice that was so perfect Lan Wangji could have been fooled, had it not been for the way Wei Ying kept his gaze away from him. “I’m never going to get married!”

or, lwj and wwx visit a fortune teller

Chapter:1/1

Words:8,114

Status:completed

“Ah. This man will bring Master Lan some heartache, I am afraid,” she said, and with the words, Lan Wangji couldn’t help but freeze, eyes widening ever so slightly. How could she know? Lan Wangji’s heartbeat was suddenly going out of rhythm. A guess such as this from a fraud would be risky, even insulting to an everyday customer. How could she know that his love was a man?

~~

according to the fortune teller, Wei Ying would not get married, and Lan Wangji would. A happy marriage, the woman had described it. How could a marriage be happy, if it was not with Wei Ying? Lan Wangji felt sick thinking about it. The woman had been right; his love was both deep and devoted. It would be a betrayal against both himself and Wei Ying to move on to someone new.

~~

Was there a person in the sects who could compare to Wei Ying? Was there another person walking the earth who could make his heart ache so maddeningly? The thought was unimaginable.

~~

wwx: will i have a wife? fortune teller, getting a thousand visions of wwx calling himself lwj's wife: no wwx: elaborate fortune teller: i don't want to

😂😂😂

I aspire to his levels of bitchiness

Crow!WWX

This is so sweet and mischievous. Like yes, canon wangxian totally would

wwx: oh, i'm just a frail maiden kidnapped by-

kidnapper: you're a man

yllz, very darkly, very powerful: say one more thing and i'm going to make you eat your own guts

kidnapper, scared: ...yes, sir

wwx: oh, i'm just a frail maiden kidnapped by evil men, how i wish i could be saved by a beautiful strong gentleman,!

wwx: *open one eye waiting*

lwj: *arriving in his full lan glory while his husband claps excitedly*

@here4hualian kissmas day 5: kissing the cursed shackles

Xie Lian is bathing himself in the river when he notices the little ghost fire.

He calls out to it. "Hello? Do you need anything?"

Xie Lian doesn't feel particularly concerned about his modesty. Maybe it's the fact that the ghost fire doesn't have visible eyes to watch him with, even if it is hovering rather intently.

"Are you alright?" Xie Lian tries.

The ghost fire finally responds. "I'm fine. Dianxia doesn't need to worry about me."

Xie Lian is too tired to deal with how being recognized makes him feel. "Did you want to use the river? I don't mind sharing."

Slowly, the ghost fire drifts over, although it makes to movements towards the water. It just hovers next to Xie Lian, giving off a faint blue glow.

Subconsciously, Xie Lian scratches at his cursed shackle. It's been hurting all day. Ah, that's probably how the ghost fire recognized him. Word of his banishment and the punishment he received has spread quickly through the mortal realm.

"Does it hurt?" the ghost fire asks, and Xie Lian startles.

"Ah, it's nothing, really."

The ghost sinks lower towards the water, and Xie Lian is reminded of the way a human might pout. Perhaps it was looking to emphasize? Who better could understand pain than someone who has experienced death?

"I tried to use my spiritual powers today," Xie Lian tells it. "This thing has been squeezing at me ever since. It's only a little painful, don't worry. I've felt way worse."

"Is there anything this one can do to help?"

"Unless you have some spiritual energy to lend me." Xie Lian means it as a joke.

The ghost fire takes it seriously.

It floats upwards, flying over to Xie Lian's neck. The sensation of cold flames on his bare skin tickles, and chills rise down Xie Lian's spine.

And then, there's a tendril of energy flowing into him. It's small, barely there at all, but to Xie Lian, who hasn't had anything like it in so long, it may as well be an ocean of power.

It feels almost like a kiss, the way the ghost fire is transferring it.

After a moments, Xie Lian pulls away. His cheeks are slightly flushed. "You'll burn yourself out if you give me too much, silly thing. You really didn't need to do that."

"But I wanted to. Does it still hurt?"

Xie Lian pauses. Because... "No. It doesn't. I... thank you."

Ridiculous idea. LWJ being ok with his emotions and willing to talk about them

Wei Wuxian: I'll give you one of these jars if you forget you saw me

Lan Zhan: How could I forget such a beautiful person?

Wei Wuxian: Oh. Well... um... that is to say....

Lan Zhan: You're still coming with me for punishment

Wei Wuxian: The sexy kind?

Lan Zhan: Not this time

modern au wei wuxian would have a career sorta like bridgit mendler, super successful child star turned weirdly well adjusted tiktok star (everyone say ty to lwj and wq for the well adjusted part), and he's a household name for his celebrity activities, but if you google him the first thing that comes up is his absolutely stacked linkedin profile - ivys all the way down and a litany of charities and non-profits that he either founded or chairs - followed by article after article about the life saving world changing research he's headed, and you (average citizen of this AU) are just like "i just saw him doing a couples dance trend on tiktok and wanted to see if he was married when did wei wuxian from like 5 DCOMs get a phd in physics and start 3 non-profits???"

My favorite part of Lan Wangji's character arc is the way he goes from wanting not to be seen for who he is, even if it is lonely, to being determined to show everyone who he is and daring them to judge him.

This poor fifteen year old boy, totally overwhelmed with romantic thoughts about another man, while everyone he knew informed him that this person would never be accepted in his life. This eighteen to nineteen year old, plagued with the need to keep his affections a secret. The twenty year old who turned away from it due to the opinions of his uncle and elder brother.

The twenty two year old who lost the love of his life and faced punishment from his clan for daring to love someone they disapproved of... then went back and told them he didn't care: "This child of the Yiling Patriarch is now mine, thanks. I don't care if you punish me, I'm done cutting off the people I love for your sake."

Turned into a thirty five year old who shackled this man to himself for everyone to see. He became a person who refused to waver in his commitment to stand by them, despite the consequences. Ultimately, he told those same family members that if they had a problem with his spouse, he didn't have to be their family anymore.

He became strong enough to support his spouse through experiencing the judgment of a 'family' member who refused to accept him.

And through this journey, he found the security of self that allowed him to love freely and take chances. Self-acceptance allowed him to build the life he wanted--to share the safety he built for himself with the people he valued the most.

Please somebody, get Bichen away from wwx

Dragonji apprehends Crowxian for his crow crimes 😤 His punishment is joining Dragonji’s hoard of suspiciously acquired possessions 🤔

This is a sequel to my previous Crowxian drawing :3

I really do think the fandom underestimate Xie Lian's own values and kindness while kinda overestimating the kindness the guy who gave him the Bamboo hat in the scene in the rain.

Don't get me wrong, the Bamboo hat is important and the fact that someone went to help him is also important. But it's just the excuse. Xie Lian decided by himself to lie in the rain and gave humanity another chance first. He was trying to convince himself that he didn't believe in the kindness of people anymore while still giving them another chance. He was probably going to lie in the rain until someone, anyone gave him that kindness anyway.

The Bamboo hat is the excuse as to why Xie Lian didn't turn into Jun Wu, but the actual reason is that Xie Lian had the strength to stand in the rain and wait for someone to show him he was right. A thing Jun Wu never did.

Mu Qing, grinning: Before you were what? 

Feng Xin: Before I was- 

Mu Qing: What? 

Feng Xin: Before I was inter-

Mu Qing: Before you were interrupted? 

Feng Xin: Cut me off one more time and I swear I'll- 

Mu Qing: What? 

Feng Xin: *makes frustrated sound* 

Xie Lian, nervously: Stop that. Before he hurts you.

the sounds of flute in the night

Lan Qiren: I knew this day would come. Little A-Ying has grown up and come for the guest lectures

Wei Wuxian: Have we met before, Teacher Lan?

Lan Qiren: Technically yes, although I don't expect you to remember since you were a toddler last time we met. Your mother was my dearest friend, not that there was much competition for the role, and she was always showing off how bright her son was.

Wei Wuxian: Oh....Would you be willing to tell me more about my parents?

Lan Qiren: Perhaps later. Right now I want you to hand over your contraband.

Wei Wuxian: What?

Lan Qiren: Hand over everything you have that is not relevant to today's lessons

I think a MDZS Psych AU would be hilarious. WWX's this super observant genius who remembers everything he sees and can easily guess people's true motives, but it only ever gets him into trouble.

First, YZY hates him for getting better grades than JC, then he's kicked out of LP for calling WC on his lies at a charity gala, effectively blackening the Jiang name. After leaving, he gets caught up in a plot to assassinate him, which leads to him testifying against the Wens in court - which leads to a new, intense interest in seeking justice for those who can't.

...Unfortunately, even this gets him in trouble. WWX's called in one too many tips to the local police station and now he's a suspect! Oh woe! Whatever is he to do?! They're going to lock him up and throw away the key!

LWJ, an up and coming officer with a decade long crush on WWX: Do not worry. I will speak with Uncle to clear your na-

WWX promptly decides to announce that he's psychic.

"Impossible!"

LQR...doesn't believe it. No one really believes it, but LXC takes the opportunity to hire WWX as a consultant for cases...

"...Otherwise not easily solved," he explains delicately, very subtly not winking at his brother who's also very subtly not eavesdropping on their conversation. "You would of course be working with Wangji."

WWX considers it for a moment: a well paying job that interests him, and he gets to bother LWJ all day? How could he possibly say no?

And so he doesn't. In fact, he agrees.

WWX and LWJ become partners. LWJ the dashing young police officer, WWX the spooky, scary crackpot-

"Do not insult yourself, Wei Ying," LWJ chastises.

WWX can't help but swoon. "So protective of my reputation LZ!"

"Mn."

LWJ has good reason to be protective - and of more than just WWX's reputation. Since becoming 'psychic', WWX's attracted a number of very vocal detractors who find his methods disrespectful - along with several enemies in high places who can't afford to have their secrets uncovered.

Thankfully, LZ is always there to keep him safe. And when LZ's busy, WN is willing to step in and help.

(WWX is somehow blind to both LWJ's boundless adoration, and the fact that he's essentially employed WN as a part-time bodyguard behind his back.)

Still, no system is perfect. While investigating the murder of a local debutante, WWX is captured by one of his enemies' lackeys - Jin Zixun.

"...Who?" he asks, drawing a blank.

Jin Zixun pokes his finger in WWX's face. "You-! Don't you remember everything? How can you pretend not to know me?!"

WWX blinks. He's sure he's never seen this person before in his life. But when he says as much, Jin Zixun looks fit to beat him.

Thankfully, before things can get too heated, LZ breaks into the warehouse they're keeping WWX in and rescues him. Is this another swooning moment? Of course! Any moment is a good swooning moment with LZ around.

"Mn," LWJ agrees, picking WWX up in a bridal carry (after arresting the bad guys, of course).

WWX laughs, hiding his cherry-red face in LWJ's neck.

"LZ!" he whines, batting his partner's chest. "Don't just agree with me! Think about my heart."

LWJ tilts WWX's chin back, so he can look him in the eyes as he says, "I think of nothing else."

WWX almost swoons for real. What an unexpected confession! Maybe he isn't as observant as he's given credit for?

"Ridiculous," LWJ denies, "You are very observant. Just not psychic."

WWX laughs so much he almost falls out of LWJ's arms. Thankfully, LWJ is stronger than he looks.

"I am so psychic!" he argues once he's caught his breath. "I'm getting a vision right now!"

"Oh?" LWJ's raised brow shows exactly how little he believes Wei Ying.

"It's true!" WWX says. "I see...! It's us! We're standing side by side and...we're getting married! We're gonna be together forever, er gege."

Heart in his throat, he looks up to find LWJ staring back at him with dark, hungry eyes.

"Mark your words," he says in a growl, and WWX gulps.

That day, LWJ becomes a little less sceptical of his new fiance's preternatural powers, and WWX becomes a firm believer in LWJ's physical prowess. 😉

----

Jin Zixun, some hours later, still handcuffed to a chair in the abandoned warehouse: Hello? I think you forgot me? ...Hello??

Lan Wangji: Why can't I have a morally questionable boyfriend when you do?

Lan Xichen: A-Yao isn't morally questionable!!

Lan Wangji: He's literally dragging his sworn brother's corpse right now

Lan Xichen, noticing Jin Guangyao: A-Yao, did you kill da-ge?

Jin Guangyao, dragging Nie Mingjue's corpse: Of course not er-ge, he's just sleeping

Lan Xichen: See Wangji, he's just sleeping

Lan Wangji: ( ,,⩌'︿'⩌,,)

Wangxian plot bunny I may or may not write, but I encourage people to write as well 🫡

Wei Wuxian: I have an excellent idea for people to leave us alone.

Wen Qing: oh boy...

Wei Wuxian: don't you wanna know what I got?

Wen Qing: stupider?

Wei Wuxian: booo! Anyway. I'm gonna send this message at the Great Sects and they'll be so disgusted they'll leave us alone!

Wen Qing: "if you want to keep the Yilling Laozu from doing horrible, ghost cultivation, then send someone as a sacrifice to have nasty, disrespectful sex with him. Those who exceed his expectations will gain everything he owns".

Wei Wuxian: See? 100% guarantie of success! Nobody will take the offer and if they do, I just say it wasn't good enough! Win-win for me!

Wen Qing: so you got stupider. Alright. Scrape that idea

Wei Wuxian:...

Wen Qing: what. Did. You do.

Wei Wuxian: I already sent it to the major sects...

Wen Qing: I swear tO GOD!!

Meanwhile, at the big sects:

At Yunmeng jiang: the message was ripped apart by Jiang Cheng because he knows Wei Wuxian 's brand of stupid and isn't going to fall for it. Also, not willing to send someone to Yilling, like, think of their reputation!

At Qinghe Nie: the message was also ripped apart by Nie Mingju because he thinks Wei Wuxian is mocking them by calling out their righteousness. They're not sending anyone either, but Nie Huaisang 's brain is going "??.. !"

At Lanling Jing: there's a huge debate about which prostitute to send him, how much they'll have to pay said prostitute to keep the Yilling Laozu content and get their hand on the Yin Tiger Tally without sacrificing too much on their side. Everyone is shooting everyone in the foot. Nothing concrete is done.

At Gusu Lan: the message was ripped apart and everyone is shaking their heads at the shamelessness of the Yilling Laozu, they're too "above" to even consider sending anyone. Lan Qiren, knowing Wei Wuxian 's brand of stupid (same as his mother, hmpf!) is nearly ripping his beard off from how mocking the boy is! Lan Xichen is sighing at yet another proof Wei Wuxian has fallen because of his cultivation. He goes to tell his brother not to do anything rash but Lan Wangji is already gone. Oops.

A month later, Lan Wangji comes back with a gaggle of old people and a child. And the Yilling Laozu, dragging his feet and trying to escape. Lan Wangji says "excuse me." at the sentries before walking to the sides in the forest for.. about 45 minutes? and when he comes back, Wei Wuxian is disheveled and loopy. He looks like he's been mauled by a fierce beast. The rest of the Wen group look exhausted and used to it, wishing they could be set somewhere so they don't have to endure their Yilling Laozu being ravished (enthusiastically) by Hanguang-jun four times a day. Wen Yuan is just happy Wei-gege and Rich-gege made up.

zhancheng to me is like this:

imagine a scenario in which jiang cheng actually does know quite a lot about lan wangji's tastes: his favorite and least favorite tea flavors, snacks, food, books, music, authors and artists, and so on.....except jiang cheng specifically sought out this information during the 13 year timeskip to make lan wangji miserable.

maybe lan wangji is just publicly A Bitch to him one too many times and jiang cheng finally decides he's had enough. so, for the next few months, jiang cheng spends an inordinate amount of time gradually sussing out everything he can learn about lan wangji's tastes. what kind of tea does he like? what kind of tea does he despise? which authors does he always read? what temperature does he prefer his room to be? what new trends in music does he find completely unbearable? when he passes through a region whose cuisine he hates, which restaurants does he find slightly less intolerable?

and then, the next time there's a discussion conference at lotus pier, jiang cheng weaponizes this knowledge. actually, the next time there's a public event anywhere wherein both jiang cheng and lan wangji are in attendance, jiang cheng weaponizes the fuck out of this knowledge. he makes sure that the tea lan wangji hates the most is served to everyone. he has his disciples buy all the local snacks he knows lan wangji has a preference for, just so lan wangji can't have any. he makes sure lan wangji's room and bed are heated to the exact temperature lan wangji finds just too hot to be comfortable. whenever lan wangji's favorite obscure author releases a new work that gusu lan doesn't think is cultivation-related enough to include in their library, jiang cheng has a bunch of his disciples swoop in and buy as many copies as possible, just so that it takes lan wangji a bit longer to get his hands on a volume. jiang cheng "leaks" to a few minor sect leaders the idea that lan wangji actually does like spicy food, and said minor sect leaders actually believe that information for a full year of hosted visits and public events.

this continues for all 13 years of the timeskip. of course, jiang cheng isn't outstandingly successful in actually making lan wangji miserable, because there are limits to what jiang cheng can actually achieve and what he's actually willing to spend enough time on; realistically, all he's accomplishing is causing lan wangji some minor irritations once in a while. but it's enough for jiang cheng to know that, every time lan wangji has to pass through yunmeng, he's absolutely miserable because jiang cheng has persuaded/paid every musician in the area to play the one song lan wangji hates the most.

jin guangyao, of course, figures out what's going on immediately. but even loyalty to lan xichen isn't going to make him sacrifice potentially useful dirt by putting a stop to jiang cheng's asshole behavior himself, so instead he just decides to watch and wait. he also just finds it really funny. meanwhile, lan wangji, for all 13 of these years, never figures out what's going on. he never figures out why he can't ever find the lanling-style osmanthus cakes he hates slightly less than the rest of lanling cuisine whenever he passes through the area and runs into disciples from yunmeng jiang. when his favorite obscure author releases a new book, he gets in line at the indie bookstore in qinghe he went out of his way to visit, and just doesn't question why everyone in front of him is wearing purple.

postcanon, though....now lan wangji has one hell of a source of insider information (wei wuxian), so the turns are about to get fucking tabled.

i think i made a post about this already, but i think it's really important to understanding both of them and their relationship that (in the novel) the iconic part of Wei Wuxian's first impression on Wen Ning wasn't being kind and friendly to him, after meeting him practicing alone, and wasn't the mere fact of niceness.

and it wasn't standing up for him to his shitty cousin and talking him up, and making sure he got a chance to show off, either.

it was that after Wen Ning choked under pressure and fumbled that chance and made Wei Wuxian look stupid for championing him, Wei Wuxian was not even a little bit mad at him. it did not even occur to Wei Wuxian to be mad at him. most people would be mad at that point! he clearly expected to get yelled at!

but Wei Wuxian was so far from that kind of insecurity he did not even experience these events as humiliating, and he thereby revealed he had not taken those steps to build up Wen Ning on his own behalf, with any selfish motive, but purely from the unfiltered impulse to help.

Wei Wuxian did not in the least feel that having taken Wen Ning's 'side' (unsolicited, probably almost entirely unwanted) entitled him to anything from Wen Ning.

Wen Ning actually has high standards! it was not the little bit of kindness or the brashness that won him over, it was the fact that that kindness persisted undisturbed after Wen Ning provided the provocation of failure.