Reminder To All Of My Whores Viewing The Eclipse Today:
reminder to all of my whores viewing the eclipse today:
-wear eclipse glasses. i don’t care how strong you think your eyes are, you’re gonna hurt yourself
-Aztecs thought Quetzalcoatl, a giant ass serpent, are the sun so if you don’t like snakes you better watch out cuz your next
-Mexican legend says that any pregnant woman that sees the eclipse will inadvertently cause her child’s face to get eaten by a jaguar later in life so, yknow, maybe close your eyes if superstition is your thing.
-please make sure you are aware of your surroundings. staring at the sky with dark glasses leaves you kinda vulnerable, so be by people you trust in a safe environment.
-eclipses can be seen as culturally bad, but really they are transformative. do something new, go see a friend, go on a date, buy a cake or something.
-go leave a flower on your loved ones grave or something. some Native American tradition calls this a time of mourning, so pay attention little live for those who can’t be with you to see the eclipse.
-no, this is not the end of the world. it’s just really cool.
-if your really worried that you like contracted a space disease then go and take a bath after. and if you’re not, take one just to relax. bathes are fun.
-you don’t need to have money to enjoy it. if you don’t have glasses then use something from here: https://www.statesman.com/story/news/state/2024/04/08/watch-solar-eclipse-safely-without-glasses-alternative-tree-leaves-colander-pinhole-projector-box/73242785007/#. i’ve used a colander to watch a partial eclipse and it was still awesome.
drink some water, grab your glasses, head to your lawn and enjoy the view. if you’re not in the path of totality or just won’t be seeing it at all, then enjoy the experience of knowing that’s somewhere on this planet something monumental is happening and you are alive for it.
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