Jason: Hey, Alfie! Which Of Us Was The Least Crazy As A Kid?

Damian is not above using his status as Baby to get what he wants. At the same time, the Bats know that their littlest family member using his power (rare though it may be) is a sign of affection. Nobody says anything because Damian feeling comfortable enough to act his age (even if it is a manipulation tactic) means he trusts them.

Also? It’s fucking adorable.

Bruce is a man of principles and discipline, but he’s ready to shave his head and steal Lex Luthor’s identity no questions asked when Damian silently crawls into his lap. He was on a shareholders videoconference the first time the boy did it. No amount of money, notoriety, or achievements will ever compare to Damian laying his head on his father’s chest, sighing quietly, and closing his eyes peacefully as board members oohed and awwed. Screenshots went viral almost immediately. #BabyWayne trended for weeks.

Bruce booked them a trip to Chicago to see the new tiger exhibit at the zoo that Damian had mentioned over breakfast. He absolutely knew he’d been had and oh fucking well.

Then Damian does it again. And again and again, with no ask beforehand. When Bruce finally asked what was going on, the littlest Wayne said he was cold and simply required a heat source. Bruce pressed a kiss to his boy’s hair and read the quarterly reports over his head. And then took him out for new art supplies. And got him a pet lizard. And some ice cream. And yes, Alfred, I have a problem, but look at him! 🥹

You know the dread you feel when you see the villain/monster of a horror movie just standing out in the open? Waiting for the protagonist/main character to see them?

Sometimes Bruce does that as Batman — waits directly underneath a streetlight, or in the center of a day-lit alley. Waiting for their eyes to slip past him, only to dart back to his chest, shoulders, and head in sudden, trembling terror.

Because it’s not about hiding. It’s about being seen. About intentions being unmistakable, until the criminals find themselves wishing for the uncertainty of shadows again. Darkness, instead of the dead-eyed, blunt obviousness of daylight.

modern au where this is how Hiccup lost all of Berk's gold

EVERYONE NEEDS TO LOOK AT HOW TO TRAIN YOUR DRAGON UNTRAINABLE THE STAGE PLAY RN

Jason doesn't get to announce his revival dramatically because Talia decides to be petty (she is her father's daughter, alright) and randomly sends Jason's photo with little Damian to Bruce in a random Monday.

Bruce: (minding his business)

Talia, messaging in the middle of the day: Beloved. Look at our beautiful sons.

Talia: (sends a photo of Jason reading little Damian a book while he drools)

Bruce, with his eye twitching: IS THAT JASON?

Bruce: SONS?

Bruce: TALIA?

Talia, turning her phone to Jason: A family photoshoot would ruin him completely. I'm just saying.

Jason, staring at the screen: ...

Jason: Call Ra's. We are doing the sweetest family photoshoot this world had ever seen. I need the old man to get a stroke.

Talia: ...I sense like I made some mistake here.

They ship printed photos of this photoshoot directly to Wayne Manor in the various copies. Jason brings little Damian to his father in a few weeks and announces that he himself will stay only for a short amount of time before returning to "grandpa Ra's." Bruce locks up all doors and forbids anyone from leaving it. .

Bruce, who has a problem expressing emotions because he was teased for them in school as the "crazy Wayne kid"

Bruce, who used to clutch Alfred at night and wet himself due to his nightmares.

Bruce, who got flashbacks till his mid-twenties everytime he walked down an alley.

Bruce, who would hug a weeping Dick Grayson and stay with him until the night terrors were over, humming a soft lullaby that Bruce's mother sang for him

Bruce, who hardened his mouth and his life to keep the anger in check after Jason, because he knew if he didn't every criminal would pay.

Bruce, who sees Damian chopping up shrubbery and thinks "I was far worse as a child inside, it's a good thing he's letting it out"

Bruce, who can't walk by a homeless child in the street without calling his special Wayne Foundation liaison (who he keeps on speed dial) and asking her to find "one more spot"

Bruce, who sees Selina petting kittens and robbing the rich and thinks "if I could have had a life with her, that would have been nice"

Bruce, who looks at Cass' x-rays and sees her knit bones and swears to god he will break the bones of whoever's responsible for her upbringing

Bruce, who gives Tim projects that he himself can do faster because he sees attention-starved Tim trying to please him

Bruce, who looks at Clark smiling and thinks of what he can buy for his birthday to make him smile just like that.

Bruce to his parents in their graves after not being able to catch a criminal: I'm sorry. I've failed you. I'll try harder.

People who don't know Bruce: why is that man so unfeeling.

Bad DC writers: idk just that way i guess

My absolute favorite baby brothers ugh

Talia unintentionally overstepping Barbara's boundaries (sneak peek for AO3)

Context: While out shopping Barbara was kidnapped by Talia Al Ghul's men and taken to where the Lazarus pit is. Talia says it's a fun girl's trip, but Babs knows the side effects of the pit and is not about to be pushed in.

Barbara (stopping her wheelchair before Talia could roll her to the Lazarus pit room): I'm not going in there.

Talia: Why would you pass up this offer?

Barbara (arms crossed): Jason Todd, you, Ra's Al Ghul, and that one time you put Bruce into a coma and tossed him in, assuming you could convince him to love you. And what happened after that?

Talia: We… both went insane, and I almost killed our tifl. But that's in the past, he's better now, I'm sane now.

Ra's (smoking): Never got my thanks for that.

Talia: Father! - Look, Barbara I'm not even killing you—just pushing your chair into the pit.

Barbara: I'm good. I'd rather get robot legs than end up in the pit.

Ra's Al Ghul (siding with Barbara): Contact me if you want me to set you up with that, but she still said no fifty times, Talia! Can you send her away already?

Talia: Father, stay out of this! Barbara, think about what regaining the ability to walk would do for you. You could finally be with Nightwing.

Barbara (grossed out): Oh God, why would you wish that upon me?! We're not like that anymore!

Talia: Seriously?

Ra's: He's with the orange woman now.

Talia: Aww, I was secretly rooting for you two.

Barbara (glaring at Talia): I'm definitely not going in there now. You're not about to insult me and then push me into green slime.

Talia (in denial): You know what? You need some time to think this over and agree to it. I’ll leave you here in this gorgeous tea room and return in twenty minutes. I know you’ll make the right decision. Father, keep watch of her.

Talia exited with a graceful stride, not allowing Barbara to get a word in or continue to refuse her offer. Ra's pulled out his cell phone and handed her an older-looking iPhone.

Ra's: His number is in this phone; he’s labeled "Ahbil."

Barbara nodded, took the phone, and hit the button to contact Bruce's number. Bruce reluctantly answered the unknown call, as his night job often led to strange calls like this.

Barbara: Hey… Bruce, it's Oracle.

Ra's: We don’t need to go by codenames; I know your name is Barbara.

Barbara: Private call, Ra's!

Bruce (confused): Why are you calling me from an unknown number?

Barbara: Talia kidnapped me and is offering to push me into the pit so it can 'fix' my disability, and when I say "offering," I mean she will not let me leave until I agree to it.

Bruce (shocked): What?

Barbara: Yeah. She said I’d be fine, which is a crock of bullshit. I've seen what the pit does to people; Jason has told me. I made it clear I’m not doing that. She said I have no choice unless you come to save me.

Bruce: She said I… And you’re stuck there—God damn it, Jim is going to kill me!

Barbara: Yeah, he might actually shoot you if I end up going crazy, or at least arrest you. She’s not stating it, but this seems to be a mix of good intentions with bad thinking, and she wants you back. Think you can be here soon?

Bruce: Yeah. I’ll text everyone and we’ll be headed there in a few hours. Tell her I’ll be there and that you won’t be wheeled to the pit until we get there. Do everything you can to avoid being pushed in!

Barbara: I will try my best; the mad king next to me is actually on my side with leaving, so he might be able to help.

Ra's: I’m… going to let that one slide because you called me king.

Bruce: I have to deal with Ra's—that just dawned on me. This is ridiculous, but you're my friend, and Jim will kill me if I mess this up. That guy sees me as his friend, and I can’t lose that!

Barbara (chuckling): Men and their weird friendships. Just hurry up.

Bruce agreed and ended the call while Ra's poured himself and Barbara some tea.

Ra's: He’s coming?

Barbara: Yes… your daughter is thirsty for a man who doesn't want her. She’s intelligent and all that, decent mom, but she is thirsty.

Ra's (agreeing): I have no idea where this insanity came from.

Ra's coughed from years of exposure to the pit as Barbara rolled her eyes.

Jim Gordon meets ... Batman and Robin. The Dynamic Duo. The Best of the Best.

Batman & Robin: Year One (2024) #1 by Mark Waid and Chris Samnee

VIGILANTES!!!!! WE WON!!!!!!!!