Jim Gordon Meets ... Batman And Robin. The Dynamic Duo. The Best Of The Best.

Hehehe 😊😘

Jason visiting and babysitting toddler Damian (5 years old)

Jason entered the palace just as Damian was playing with blocks. When the toddler spotted his big brother, his face lit up.

Toddler Damian (jumping to his feet): Akh Jason! You're back!

Damian ran with his little legs, and Jason couldn't help but smile at the sight. Talia didn't have enough time to stop him as the little boy spread his arms wide, eager for a hug.

Toddler Damian (running towards Jason): Hi! Hi! Hi! Hi! Hi! Lift me!

Damian bounced up and down, waiting to be picked up. Talia and Ra's watched from a distance—Ra's with a look of disgust, while Talia simpered and sniffled with a smile at how cute her precious tifl was.

Jason: Magic word.

Damian (in a high-pitched voice): Please!

Talia (shaking her father): He said please! So precious!

Ra's (stepping away): Stop shaking me!

Jason placed his hands on his hips and chuckled before lifting Damian into the air, ruffling his hair affectionately.

Damian (eagerly): Hi, did you miss me? Did you miss me?!

Jason (lying): Hm... No.

Despite Jason's teasing, Damian giggled and hugged him tightly. Ra's attempted to speak, but Talia silenced him with a sharp jab to his neck, causing him to cough.

Damian: Did you bring me a gift?

Jason: I got some gifts for you, but I might need to rest—

Damian (high-pitched voice): Wait, wait! I want gifts... Please?

Ra's sucked his teeth at the emphasis on "please." Talia fought to suppress a smile as Jason walked off with Damian, patiently answering his many questions about America.

Jason: You're lucky you're so convincing.

Damian: Yeah!

The batkids do not have a mother to find items for them that they themselves cannot find, so they find the closest replacement at the moment

Bruce:… Tim why is Harley Quinn eating cinnamon rolls in our kitchen Tim: *typing on his phone* oh I couldn’t find my headphones Bruce:… what does that even mean ~ Bruce: *walks into living room*… hello Selina Selina: *watching cartoons with Jason’s head in her lap* oh hey baby! Bruce: w- why are you- not that I’m not happy to see you but why are you here? Selina: kitten needed help finding his helmet.  Jason: *lifts helmet* we found it Bruce:… *walks back out of the living room* ~ Bruce: *staring at Talia* Talia: Hello beloved.  Bruce: … wha- why- how??? Damian: forgive me father but I needed to find my favorite dagger for show and tell tomorrow Bruce:… first of all no- ~ Bruce: *walking into Dicks room* hey Ivy- wait Ivy: oh hey bats! Believe me I don’t want to be here either but baby robin needed help finding his old suit Dick: *lifting his discowing outfit* we found it Bruce:… Ivy I will fund all of your plant experiments if you swear to never find that thing again-

Even Amazons adore Robin

Wonder Woman rushed into the Amazon kingdom holding a precious little boy in a red and yellow costume. She placed him on the floor and he looked around amazed at the golden kingdom.

Hippolyta (crossing her arms): Diana, why is there a man in my kingdom?

Robin!Dick (9): You said your name was Wonder Woman.

Diana: Thanks mother, he knows my name! He's not a man, he's a precious little boy and hero.

Diana picked up Robin and hugged him tightly making him smile.

Diana: I'm not babying you am I?

Robin!Dick: I'm not complaining, my mom died so this is nice. Can I introduce myself?

Diana (placing Robin on the ground): Oh, yes go ahead. Mother, Amazon sisters you'll love this.

Robin walked up to the tall muscular Amazon queen, he waved then saluted.

Robin!Dick: Hi, I'm Robin! I can do flips and tricks.

One of the Amazon warrior covered her mouth, hiding her smile.

Hippolyta (sighing while closing her eyes): Zeus damn it, he's adorable.

Diana (simpering): See! Mother, he's innocent. His... Batman has gone mad. I have to snap him out of it, but he is out for blood and I will not let him hurt this child. He'll being staying here.

Hippolyta: He will not-

Diana: Fantastic you agree. I shall return in a few hours. Stay safe young warrior and mother feed them!

With that, Diana raced out of the throne room to retrieve her new lasso of truth and some other weapons. Hippolyta raised her arms confused at what just happened.

Hippolyta: I'm babysitting a human child and it's not even my grand baby.

Robin!Dick: Ma'am, I'm hungry, you got any chef boyarde? Or crayons? I can eat crayons.

Amazon warrior: Is this what they're like before turning into Zeus?

Hippolyta (tapping the top of her forehead): I have no idea anymore. There's some leftovers from a banquet last night, you can eat that.

Robin nodded with a smile and followed the queen to the kitchen.

Hippolyta: Crayons, I'm not sure what that is but doesn't seem safe to consume.

Love this

The thought that Brucie Wayne and Batman being two completely separate entities that Bruce can code switch between has consumed me especially with the idea that he mixes the two together on occasion to fuck with people

~~~~~~~~~

*Batman and Superman searching a dressing room*

Superman: What about this thing, it looks suspicious?

Batman *full Batman voice*: That’s an eyelash curler darling

~~~~~~~~

*OG JLA revealing identities to newbies*

Green Arrow: Your turn Bats, who are you?

Batman having decided to fuck with him walking up to him cocking his hip putting one hand on his chest and in full Brucie Wayne mode: C’mon Ollie-Dollie you know who I am. We dated 💕

Green Arrow (internally): Modem noise

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Recently revealed identities with Clark and Brucie being at the same party

Brucie: oh howdy 🤠 cowboy, fancy meeting you at this shindig

Clark *flustered* (internally): he can’t be Batman he can’t be Batman he can’t be Batman…

~~~~~~~~~

*Bruce getting a call during a JLA meeting*

Brucie: Oh! hello dear, yes of course I’m coming to your party I’ll see you later 😘

Batman: Our security measures need to be increased due to the number of criminals currently attempting to follow heroes to their base of operations

JLA *experiencing whiplash*: what.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

*undercover Brucie and members of the JLA at a party*

Bruce *pretending to be drunk wandering over to the flash*: excuse moi but can I get your attention for just a momento😊

Flash *completely disconnecting Bruce and bats*: yeah uh sure sir are you alright

Batman *quiet but deep Batman voice*: there’s an assassin in the rafters

Canon. Change my mind

Robin era Jason, who's going after the Riddler with Batman, and one of the Riddles is some kind of literary reference, so Jason solves it easily but when he gets to the location the riddle hinted at, it's wrong????

And it haunts him the whole time until they finally catch the Riddler and Jason gets to ask him about it before he gets locked up again, and turns out the Riddler just confused two diffrent barely similar quotes or something.

And Jason LOSES HIS MIND.

HE LOST SLEEP OVER THIS??! THIS?!?! HE THOUGHT HIS KNOWLEDGE WAS WRONG HE HAD TO REOPEN THE ORIGINAL NOVEL, HE'S BEEN CARRYING ON HIM FOR THE REST OF THE INVESTIGATION JUST IN CASE-

Anyways Batman barely manages to save the Riddler from getting a papercover volume shoved down his throat.

merry christmas

Jason: Hey, Alfie! Which of us was the least crazy as a kid?

Bruce: Let’s face it. None of us were easy children. I dropped out of college and then dropped off the grid. Dick was a menace—

Jason: Nah, Dick’s the Golden Boy.

Bruce: He wanted to single-handedly hunt down a powerful criminal and thought the entire manor was a trapeze.

Dick: Well, Jason was like the perfect kid.

Bruce: He ran away, died, and started murdering people.

Jason: Fair. But the Replacement’s your perfect little soldier, isn’t he?

Bruce: He stalked me, he says incredibly concerning things with no idea how concerning he sounds, he started YOUNG JUSTICE, I—

Damian: Batgirl III is boring. Surely she was easy to deal with?

Bruce: Are you kidding me? She got pregnant and started a gang war!

Steph: Guilty as charged. But Duke’s the normal one, so—

Bruce: You started a gang war? Duke started a gang!

Damian: I’m the perfect heir.

Bruce: You’re an assassin who is currently attempting to turn my house into a zoo. And you keep trying to murder Tim.

Jason: Eh, we’ve all been there. Except Cass. Cass hasn’t tried to murder anyone.

Bruce: Cass tried to fight Lady Shiva to the death, despite refusing to kill. Cass is not well-adjusted either.

Cass: Barbara is good.

Bruce: No, she keeps hacking the Batcomputer. And she’s dating my son. Honestly I have no idea how I’m still sane.

Alfred: I’m afraid your sanity is very much in question, Master Bruce.

He actually doesn’t play video games… Just wants attention.

no guys wait u dont understand she really doesnt care about him at all she swears