If they were transformers what vehicle would they be
Dick: a clown car
Jason: a freight train
Tim: the Batmobile he embezzled
Damian: a horse-drawn carriage
Duke: a Mars rover
Cullen: a go-kart
Stephanie: a speedboat
Cassandra: a UFO
Barbara: a submarine
Harper: an 18-wheeler
Carrie: an ice cream truck
Kate: a bulldozer
Helena: a helicopter
Luke: a fighter jet
Bette: an ATV
Alfred: a coach bus
Selina: a limousine
Bruce: a suburban dad van
BONUS – the Joker: a Tesla cybertruck
no guys wait u dont understand she really doesnt care about him at all she swears
[tumblr] holy shit it works
WHO WAS GONNA TELL ME WE COULD DO THAT?????
[tumblr] WHY DO YOU JUST HAVE THIS FEATURE LAYING AROUND
[tumblr] [tumblr] [tumblr] [tumblr] [tumblr] [tumblr] [tumblr] [tumblr]
Au where Tim get revenge on his family by “dying.” His moral compass was shaken loose due to time with the league and he had enough festering anger that his internal voice wasn’t loud enough to tame his more feral tendencies. He didn’t plan on staying dead forever, just enough for his siblings to know how he felt.
His death was public, much like Bruces was. The League saw it happen as did the Bats. There was a body left behind and all tests showed it was absolutely Tim.
(Bruce was the first one to pick up on the similarities between his death and Tim’s, the first one to track him down, and the one who held Tim while he cried because he was so tired and Bruce realized there were not a lot of people Tim trusted to hold him back from his more extreme ideas. At his core Tim had always been a curious child with a lack of self restraint, a fact that was only further showcased during his time as Robin. Bruce would call the whole thing off if his son went to far, but honestly, Tim needed it out of his system now that he started so Bruce set ground rules and made Tim check in with him regularly).
The general plan was to convince the bats he was still alive. Outside of Cass and Bruce, Tim was the quietest. He was the hardest to spot. Damian was stealthy, yes, but his strongest skill was mimicry. So on night when certain bats were out and about he would dust off his stalking skills and follow them, keeping just in the corner of their sight and ducking into the shadows when someone turned to look towards him.
He would wordlessly step in the save his siblings who were overwhelmed and then disappear in a blink.
It was driving the bats out of the loop up the wall. Was this hallucinations or was this actually Tim? What was going on? And the JL who were checking in because it seemed to be one loss after the other for the bats were growing increasingly concerned.
Eventually Tim shows his hand. He’s had his fun, his self appointed isolation allowed him to reflect, and he figured his brothers had suffered enough. He just wanted them to know what it felt like.
After that, Bruce forcefully brought them into family therapy because that’s a healthy option and his time lost in time space allowed him to reflect.
Long story short, the bats eventually learn positive communication methods, and Tim got his revenge.
We've had a family/murder of crows visiting our garden for years now, and this season the chicks are soooo helpless! They just stand around expectantly with their mouths open as the mom crow eats. Which is what inspired this comic! :)
Bruce, accidentally overhearing Damian and Jason talking:
Damian: "Why are half of father's childhood friends evil now?"
Jason: "Bruce has that effect on people."
Damian, scoffing: "Maybe. It's hard to even imagine what Father’s childhood was like."
Bruce, about to chime in:
Jason: "Considering I found his annotated copies of the Sherlock Holmes books, I can tell you now it was pretty boring."
Bruce: *turns off the comms*
Jim Gordon once every few weeks, shouting talking by his window: would be a shame if someone tracked down the culprit in this case file I am leaving UNATTENDED at my desk and paid him a nasty visit. Sure hope this ABUSER, who used MONEY to get the charges dropped and is currently out and about doesn't get into a nasty ACCIDENT.
Batman wondering why he even bothers staying in the shadows anymore: ...
Gordon: Oh well, time for my lunch break
Dick: shit, with B out of town I forgot about Gordon's thing
Jason: Gordon's thing?
Dick: you know, the thing he always did where he'd leave casefiles on the roof of people who really needed to get beaten up?
Jason: ...that's what those were for?
Dick: yeah
Dick, hefting a file up: anyway, do you wanna take this pedophile or should I?
Jason:
Dick:
Jason: what were you thinking
Dick: I'm open to suggestions
Jason: kinda hard to diddle kids if you don't have functioning hands, yeah?
Dick, shuddering: now you sound like him
“Fatherless behavior” stop giving my DAD credit for all the work my MOM put into making me a terrible person!! Stop erasing women in history!!
ID in Alt
I couldn’t stop thinking about all those “Justice League plays F/M/K with the local billionaire population and Batman must sit there and suffer awkwardly” posts so I decided to flip it round a bit
It’s a miracle I made it through this I was laughing so fucking hard the whole time
Headcanon that the bats are the only people in Gotham who don’t know about Joker Junior.
The only people who know JJ’s identity are Bruce, Barbara, Jim Gordon, Joker himself, and Harley Quinn. Tim made Bruce promise not to tell Dick, and that continued when Jason came back, with him not wanting to be one of the older man’s triggers. The trend followed with Duke, Cass, Steph, and Damian, with him being more and more certain that if he told them, they would hate him.
Nothing lasts forever, though, and the batkids soon notice how differently Gotham treats Red Robin.
Rogues like Riddler, Harley, and Poison Ivy refrain from hurting him too much. Seasoned thugs quickly take away any electrocution devices from the newer ones, stating that “we don’t electrocute Red Robin”. When it comes to RR, Gotham’s citizens can get very peeved with the Bat.
The kids also notice the odd closeness between Jim, Babs, and Tim. Hell, there are times where they invite the older man to dinner and he goes off to whisper with Tim. The one time someone tried to subtly follow them, Babs stopped them in their tracks.
Everything comes to ahead when Dick goes deep into the bat computer archives for a case he assumes is tied to another. And lo and behold, he finds something titled Junior. He assumes that this is about a child villain and is curious, as the date tells him this happened while he was off in Bludhaven so many years ago.
It’s not.
He calls in the other bats(Tim is somewhere else) and they read through the files and watch the videos. God, the videos.
Dick is angry. Him and his siblings are fuming. Everything comes together and makes so much sense.
How some Gotham citizens treat RR differently. How Jim Gordon always makes sure RR is okay. How Babs knows how to calm Tim down better than anyone else. How Bruce always looks so guilty when he looks at Tim, a scarily similar look as the one he gives to Jason.
Their brother had been keepinh this secret for years, probably because he didn’t want them to hate them(Jason shakes his head furiously. “Stupid kid”.)
When Tim comes home, lo and behold with Babs, he immediately clocks onto their thoughts and makes a break for it. Babs blocks the door for everyone else. She says nothing.
Thats as far as I got.
Everybody know the scene in The Dark Knight where some idiot dresses like Batman and Bruce gets real pissed at him. Well it goes a little something like this:
Copycat Batman: What’s the difference between you and me!?
Batman: I’m not wearing hockey pads.
Alternatively:
Copycat Nightwing: What’s the difference between you and me!?
Nightwing: CAN YOU DO THIS? *insane quadruple flip off the roof with his middle finger out.*
Obviously not Red Hood: What’s the difference between you and me!?
Red Hood: I died.
Copycat Red Hood, mumbling: well obviously not.
Red Hood, cocking his gun: Wanna change that?
Copycat Red Robin: What’s the difference between you and me!?
Red Robin: Spandex isn’t usually something I wear on the regular. And that latex cowl isn’t doing you any favours either. While we’re at it- [proceeds to roast the shit out of the copycat until they’re begging him to stop. He doesn’t.]
Copycat Robin: What’s the difference between you and me!?
Robin, unsheathing his Katana: Run.
Copycat Robin: What?
Robin: If you care for your life you will know to flee. I will not give you another warning.