Jason: "Hey I Need Some Help."

Jason: "Hey I need some help."

Dick: "Okay, wait a second, I'm getting another call. Hello?"

Tim: "Hey Dick, don't get mad, but I need your help with something."

Dick: "One second." *returns to earlier call* "What did you do?"

Jason: "Me? It's not always me, you know--"

Dick: "Sure Jay, hold up, I'm getting another call. Hello?"

Damian: "Batgirl and I require assistance, can we use your apartment for something?"

Dick: "What did Jason do?"

Damian: "...why are you asking about Jason?"

Dick: "Because... ugh, never mind. What did you do?"

Stephanie, in the background: "What? He never asks Tim all these questions."

Tim, muffled: "He asks me all the time."

Dick: "Wait a second, why the hell are all of you together?"

Jason: "We'll tell you but you gotta open the front door first."

More Posts from Dragonboygobrrrrr and Others

4 months ago

Adams Family adoptions

When Bruce Wayne was a child, he gets taken in by his distant relatives, the Adams, because he was going to be taken away from Alfred. They couldn't abide by family being tossed into what the state calls the foster system when they were available to take him in. Gomez teaches Bruce about honor, sword fighting, trains and explosives, also how to treat a lady(or other romance interest) Morticia teaches him about plants, their uses as both poison.s and medicines (though that is not why she grows them, she just knows her plants). Uncle Fester teaches him about grand larceny, electronics, how scams are run and other felonies. Also more about explosives. Fester does more in improvised where as Gomez deals more with commercial. Wednesday and Pugsley play games with him where they stage murder scenes for him to analyze. Wednesday learns more about how to hide a crime from watching Bruce take apart her crime scenes, to the point where if she ever did anything he would never find anything to pin on her.

Later, when Bruce is an Adult and going around being Batman and has a Robin with him, he will sometimes ask his adopted family to babysit. He gets Robin to go along with it by explaining it as either training (if they are being watched by Gomez and Morticia) or a criminal investigation (Uncle Fester, Pugsley or Wednesday). They never find anything on Wednesday. Later, Wednesday adopts one Danny Fenton after he runs away from home.

6 months ago

As Told By The Gotham Citizens

As Told By The Gotham Citizens
As Told By The Gotham Citizens
As Told By The Gotham Citizens
As Told By The Gotham Citizens
As Told By The Gotham Citizens
As Told By The Gotham Citizens
As Told By The Gotham Citizens
As Told By The Gotham Citizens
6 months ago

Batfamily Beauty and the Beast AU where Bruce is the beast and with every child he adopts he becomes slightly more and more human.

He finds Dick in the woods, sobbing over the loss of his parents. A year later, he looks in the mirror and wonders if he's only imagining that he's gotten shorter.

Jason sneaks into the castle and steals a loaf of bread, hungry and desperate. Bruce takes him in and offers him a proper meal. As he's putting his new son to bed one night, he notices that his claws have shrunk.

Tim marches into the castle and demands Bruce take him, knowing the stories of the monster who kidnaps children. Bruce's snout feels flatter than it used to when he presses a kiss to his forehead.

Cassandra lasts a full two weeks before anyone even notices she's there. The fur on Bruce's arms begins to thin as he holds her close, and she smiles up at him.

Tim brings home Stephanie, who loudly insists that she does not need nor want a new father. His skin grows less leathery, and the beginnings of crows feet appear on the corners of his eyes.

Damian is brought to them by Talia, rigid and wary of everything, convinced of his birthright as the Bat's heir. The fangs in Bruce's mouth seem to smooth over as he learns to gentle his speech.

The day Duke joins the family, still reeling from the plague that claimed his parents, something clicks. Bruce steps out, and before them stands a perfectly human man, finally made whole by his love for his children.

3 months ago
Tim Couldn't Make It He Was In Paris Also Not In The Group Chat
Tim Couldn't Make It He Was In Paris Also Not In The Group Chat

Tim couldn't make it he was in Paris also not in the group chat

4 months ago
My Absolute Favorite Baby Brothers Ugh
My Absolute Favorite Baby Brothers Ugh
My Absolute Favorite Baby Brothers Ugh
My Absolute Favorite Baby Brothers Ugh
My Absolute Favorite Baby Brothers Ugh

My absolute favorite baby brothers ugh

5 months ago

Love this idea

Perhaps they ought not to have eaten the dragon. There had been people objecting to it at the time. Surely such meat was poisonous. Perhaps it was even an affront, an insult to some intangible order of nature they ought to honour.

But the city was starving, the siege had gone on too long, and the king's troops were still a week's march away. The scorched earth would be fertile again in time, but right now it was barren. Right now there were mouths to feed. So they changed their crossbows for butcher knives and got to work.

None of the royal commanders asked any questions that could not be answered. After all, their aid had come shamefully late. The dragon's horned skull made a noble gift, a fitting tribute from a triumphant city to its humbled king. Who would have thought to question them?

And none of the townsfolk spoke up, when the first golden-eyed babes were born. Children who grew up barefoot and fearless, clambering over the city's patched and rebuilt roofs like they had no notion of falling, with a strange glitter to their skin when the sunlight hit it just so. No one breathed a word about dragons.

Because soon enough there were deft, young hands taking loaves straight out of the oven, heedlessly lifting iron from the forge, plunging into boiling laundry water. And some of them more wondrous still, wild, warm-skinned youths, with inexplicable knowledge and peculiar remedies.

A blessing, their families said proudly. A blessing after so much hardship. Which it was, in its way. This city would never fear dragon fire again.

5 months ago
Tim Drake’s Self Preservation Instincts Do NOT Kick In

Tim Drake’s self preservation instincts do NOT kick in

3 months ago

Don’t get me wrong I love the Tim drake tells his family about his trauma with out thinking to hard about it and them freaking out that’s great I love that hilarious BUT have you considered the hilarity of Tim Deliberately Hiding it from his family and the shenanigans he has to pull to keep them from finding out?

Que Tim drake trying to drink his coffee before Bruce comes to pick him up for lunch when suddenly one of Ra’s assassins come from the shadows to try to kidnap him and while Tim is trying to fight him he hears the alert that Bruce’s car pulled up his eyes widen as he shoves the assassin into the closet before Bruce can see and telling him to shut the fuck up for both of their sakes the assassin is so confused he just goes along with it

When Bruce comes in and see’s Tim’s ruffled shirt A broken vase in the hall and someone very clearly in the closet he chooses to ignore it because he REALLY does not want to know about his sons sex life

Red Robin gets stabbed mid patrol and has to pretend he’s worried about blood loss but actually he is annoyed because it was a rusty pipe so he KNOWS it’s gonna get infected and he does not wanna deal with that but can’t say that because then his family will know he doesn’t have a spleen

When a new supervillain comes around and starts cloning people Tim is the one who has the most information on how to catch him because of when he tried to clone Kon but only he and dick know this dick was obviously gonna bring this up so Tim could help on the case but it was also like 2:30 and he hadn’t slept in days so he decided to take a nap first only to be woken up by a shadow holding a hand over his mouth he nearly broke Tim’s jaw because of how bad he scared him and when dick asked him what the hell he was thinking Tim said to keep what happened with Kon to himself or else… the case was solved two days afterwards and dick kept his mouth shut but he had a new found fear for his little brother whom he loved (and feared) so much

There are many more fun instances that I am not creative enough to come up with so PLEASE feel free to add on

4 months ago

DPxDC Legal Power

Batman: You can not punish the Joker

Batman: You are no judge, jury, and executioner

Danny Fenton, standing over Joker's beaten body: Actually, I am

Danny Fenton, raising the Creep Stick up: I am the High King of Infinite Realms, and this bitch has been resurrected more than once

Danny Fenton, smacking Joker like a piñata: With the use of a pool of some nasty smelling ecto, mind you, but it puts him under my jurisdiction nonetheless

Danny Fenton, smiling at Batman as Joker is wheezing and trying to crawl away: So I am the judge, jury, and executioner for him since I'm the highest power in a Realm where he is a denizen

Danny Fenton, catching the Joker by the ankle and dragging him back: And as the King, I hereby sentence him to death by a repetitive use of The Creep Stick over his whole body

Batman: ...

Red Hood, with a bowl of popcorn: Do you mind switching The Creep Stick for a crowbar?

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