Inspired by this post
Fashion meme with the Batfam
Damian would feel so betrayed
Damian: Todd prepare. I’m going to kill you!
Jason: you can try but it probably won’t stick!
Bruce: what is this about?
Jason: I sent baby pictures of knife child to the robins group chat.
Damian: WHY DO YOU EVEN HAVE THOSE TODD?!?
Jason: If I wanted something I would bribe Talia with them.
Damian: what? LIES! NEITHER OF MY PARENTS WOULD STOOP TO SUCH A LEVEL RIGHT FATHER?
Bruce: …
Damian: father?
Bruce:… how much?
Damian: FATHER?!?
Bruce: name your price!
Damian: NO!
Bruce, to his Robins: You are my emotional support children.
Dick: Imma commit murder! Chandeliers are my new trapeze! Dating an alien princess sounds like a great idea!
Jason: An abandoned apartment in Crime Alley is a perfectly fine place to live! *dies* Why won’t you kill the Joker, huh? Huh?!?
Tim: Me and my friends are gonna go cause several international incidents. See ya!
Steph: So, like, what if I started a gang war?
Damian: Drake insulted Batcow’s honor! He will perish by my blade! Murder is acceptable! Can we adopt chickens?
Duke: Wdym jumping off bridges isn’t a reasonable tactic? Quit being such a buzzkill!
Bruce, sighing: …and you are also the reason I need emotional support children in the first place.
Is there a word that’s a mix between angry and sad
Jason: "Hey I need some help."
Dick: "Okay, wait a second, I'm getting another call. Hello?"
Tim: "Hey Dick, don't get mad, but I need your help with something."
Dick: "One second." *returns to earlier call* "What did you do?"
Jason: "Me? It's not always me, you know--"
Dick: "Sure Jay, hold up, I'm getting another call. Hello?"
Damian: "Batgirl and I require assistance, can we use your apartment for something?"
Dick: "What did Jason do?"
Damian: "...why are you asking about Jason?"
Dick: "Because... ugh, never mind. What did you do?"
Stephanie, in the background: "What? He never asks Tim all these questions."
Tim, muffled: "He asks me all the time."
Dick: "Wait a second, why the hell are all of you together?"
Jason: "We'll tell you but you gotta open the front door first."
Headshots for all the characters I did from Batman Caped Crusader.
Because I shrunk down most of them, the halftones may have compacted. Links to the individually posted portraits are below:
Harleen Quinzel
Renee Montoya
Barbara Gordon
Oswalda Cobblepot “Penguin”
Harvey “Two Face” Dent
Gentleman Ghost & Onomatopoeia
Selina Kyle “Catwoman”
Bruce Wayne “Batman”
Basil Karlo “ Clayface”
Jim Gordon & Natalia Knight “Nocturna”
Cryptid Bruce is awesome
Cryptid Bruce
Martha and Thomas Wayne struggled to have a child for years and Thomas meets a shady man who tells him that a child will come to them soon
Thomas just ‘??? okaaaaaay’s him but in a week, Martha bursts into his office looking frazzled
“We’re being haunted.”
“….”
“Don’t give me that look, Thomas Wayne. The Manor. It’s haunted. Alfred! Tell him we’re being haunted!”
And Alfred comes in, also looking frazzled but to a lesser degree.
The two explain that things are moving around the Manor without any kind of explanation, but Thomas doesn’t believe them. Until he notices things in his office also being moved. The weirdest event is when they start hearing a child’s giggles. No explanation. None.
Not until Thomas, sleep deprived after going over paperwork for one too many hours, pops into the kitchen and…there is a child. Sitting on the kitchen counter.
The child, a boy, turns. Grins. Waves.
“Hi, daddy.”
—
Bruce, they name him, can melt into shadows. He finds it hilarious. Martha thinks she’s going to go grey at her young age. She adores him. Thomas adores him. He’s their son now.
The Waynes have a mysterious child, but they keep their private lives very private, so maybe they just successfully hid a pregnancy? And then a child. For…three years. They think Bruce is three, at least.
Despite how odd of a child Bruce is, they love him dearly. He’s some kind of miracle. A…very weird, possibly magical(?) miracle.
—
Dick thinks his adoptive father is strange. Extremely strange. Bruce makes absolutely no noise when he moves. He doesn’t cast shadows but he seemingly is able to *blend into them*. His smile, whilst genuine, seems a little too sharp.
He thinks he’s a vampire.
Bruce laughs so hard, he doubles over.
“No, but I am the Batman, so I guess you’re not far off.”
“…is this a joke?”
“Nope.”
“A dream?”
Bruce pinches him and Dick yelps.
Bruce doesn’t explain to Dick what he is, because he doesn’t have a clue himself. He just…is.
—
But when Jason comes along, he has a million and one questions. Bruce blinks at him.
“How did you do that? You literally *melted* into the shadows!”
Bruce shrugs.
“No. *No*. Explain.”
“I…can’t.”
“You said no secrets, B!”
Bruce puts his hands up defensively. “It’s not a secret! I really don’t know! It just…kind of happens.”
Jason stares at him. Bruce stands there. He seems to flicker? The edges of his body go a bit transparent and Dick knows he only does that when he’s stressed.
“Leave him alone, Jay. He’s telling the truth. He’s just…like that. But he’s still Bruce.”
It takes Jason two months to accept it. By then, his questions are more from genuine intrigue and wonder. He hides under Batman’s cape and somehow it’s spacious? It can even fit Dick at the same time. No one (but Bruce) can even hear them when they’re under there.
And then one day, when he goes to take a nap under Bruce’s cape, someone else is there.
“….B?”
“…”
“You know what I’m going to ask.”
“…”
“*Bruce*.”
“No real names, Robin.”
“No one can hear me!”
“…I didn’t kidnap him.”
“What his name?”
“Timothy Drake.”
“FROM DRAKE INDUSTRIES?”
And Tim wakes up, rubbing his eyes. He looks exhausted and way too skinny, and all of a sudden, Jason understands why Dick has cooed at him the first night Bruce brought him home.
“Um…hi.”
“B, we’re keeping him.”
Jason doesn’t need to see Bruce’s face to know he’s smiling.
—
Damian just…appears. Bruce suddenly understands his parents’ reactions to his first appearance because nearly the same exact thing happens. Bruce wakes up from a nap. He doesn’t need to sleep very often, something Tim finds incredibly annoying, declaring it to be *unfair*. He wakes up, and curled against his chest is…a boy. Who looks a *lot* like him.
“Uh.”
The child wakes up, blinks at him w striking green eyes.
“Hello Father.”
What the fuck.
Dick slams his way into Bruce’s office, followed by Jason and Tim, who are bickering with each other.
“DAAAAAAAD, THEY WON’T SHU- oh. Steal another kid?”
“…he just appeared.”
“That’s the excuse you used for Jason.”
“No. Literally. I fell asleep. No kid. Woke up. Kid.”
“My name is Damian.”
“That’s no fair. You came pre-named?”
Damian is as odd as Bruce. Actually, he’s weirder. And stabby. Bruce finds him *delightful*. He adores him.
—
Dick is Nightwing, Jason is Red Hood (no death, he just thought it was a cool name), Tim is Red Robin, and Damian’s Robin.
Bruce is Batman. Despite being in his late 30s, he still looks like he’s in his mid 20s.
—
Batman stands in front of a bank robber who’s going on about their evil bank robbing plans. Nightwing pops his head out from beneath Batman’s cape.
“Can you get to the point?”
Red Hood pops out next.
“I’m getting bored.”
Red Robin follows.
“This is sad.”
Damian.
“Scum.”
Batman sighs.
“Why are all of you here?”
“Missed you.”
They all chime in.
The robber.
“How…how the *fuck-?*”
“Language. There are kids around.”
“B, I’m 23.”
“Says the boy taking a nap in my cape. And I was talking about Red Robin and Robin.”
“…’s comfy.”
“I’m eighteen???”
“F- Batman! I am not a child!”
There’s some shuffling sounds, no doubt Red Hood moving over to ruffle Robin’s hair.
“Whatever you say, Tiny Demon.”
And then Red Hood shrieks.
“No stabbing your brothers, Robin.”
“He called me small!”
“…you are.”
“This is insulting, F- Batman. I will grow to be as big as you. No. *Bigger*.”
The robber watches in confusion, mild amusement, and horror.
Batman sighs.
“We’ll talk about this later. Now, you were saying? Blowing up the bank, terrorizing the people.” Batman yawns. “Anything else?”
“Just take me to Arkham. I think I’m insane.”
I love your amnesia incident au! May I ask what is Soundwave's reaction towards this incident?
thanks mate!!
so like uhh
scenario time guys
if he was gonna go spy on the Autobots specifically their base (which is where the two DUMBASSES are right now) he'd be kinda baffled that he sees their damn leader with them yeah?
but with him being the "eyes and ears of the decepticons" he could see that his optics are bloody BLUE now, and he acts more like a follower than a leader if you know what I mean
then Soundwave sees that it's Megatronus, but not the courageous and confident gladiator we know him as, because right now it's D-16
I feel like he would want to go see him, but like you know his visor face recorded EVERYTHING then he goes back to the Nemesis shows Starshet the crap and stuffnstuff
so yeah THIS IS JUST A SCENARIO but i feel like its what would happen
All the Batkids using Bruce's cape as a little hideyhole. 😭
It started with Dick in his Robin years as a way to convince Bruce to carry him to the Batmobile after patrols. As independent as he liked to be, he liked being carried by the taller man more.
It continued with Jason. He'd hide under the cape as a scare-tactic, jumping out at the right time and yelling a loud, "Halt!" It did nothing but make the goons give a little 'aww' and often go easier on the little bird.
After Jason's death, Tim rarely went under Bruce's cape. Robin wasn't his place, Batman's cape wasn't for him. Yet, Bruce would often usher him under, pretending Tim was Jason hiding from villains again. He couldn't deny the grieving man, nor the way his chest warmed.
Steph did it for fun. She thought the weight of it was perfect, and she'd often giggle as she clung to Bruce's leg, merging into the bulk of the man. Scaring Gordon was her favorite when she'd pop out of nowhere in the middle of a chat on a rooftop.
Damian kept the trend alive for the same reason Jason did: to scare people. Except, unlike Jason, Damian struck fear into the hearts of people as he jumped from his father's cape, wielding a sword and an untamed fury.
And sure, maybe the real reason all of them liked to hang out under Bruce's cape was because it was safe and warm and heavy, making them sleepy and comfortable, but they'd never admit it. They just liked being close to their dad.