Tim, sprinting into Jason’s room, sticking in all directions, looking around with wide eyes.
Jason, on his bed reading a book: What the fuck are you doing?
Tim, quickly looking behind him and back at Jason’s bed: If he asks I’m not here.
Jason: What?
Tim, sprinting so fast he trips back and slides under semi under Jason’s bed. He doesn’t quite make it all the way through, instead having to awkwardly shuffle under: I’m. Not. Here.
Jason: What the fuck.
Dick, dressed in a suit but with a long worm-on-a-string around his neck: WHERE THE FUCK IS HE?
Jason, immediately pointing under the bed.
Dick, grabs something and yanking it out: FUCKER. WHERE ARE MY TIES.
Tim, already struggling: YOU GAVE ME PEPSI. I ASKED FOR COKE.
Dick: I HAVE A MEETING TODAY.
Tim: SHOULDVE THOUGHT ABOUT THAT SOONER BITCH.
Jason, turns another page.
Batman: Commissioner Gordon, I'm here.
Gordon: Finally—
Gordon noticed the young black-haired boy next to Batman, dressed in a bright and colorful hero suit.
Gordon (pointing at the kid): Who's that?
Batman: The child next to me?
Gordon: No, the Bat-Signal. Yes, I mean the kid!
Batman looked down at his Robin, who is mesmerized by the bright lights of the Bat-Signal. Batman turned his to face Gordon.
Robin (waving): Hi!
Gordon (slightly concerned): Hey, little kid. Oh, you're so cute. I'm just going to talk to your guardian for a second.
Gordon looked directly into Batman's eyes with a judgmental stare.
Batman (unaware how odd this looks): What? Is it the costume I gave him because that was his idea.
Gordon: Oddly enough, that's not my issue; he looks adorable in it.
Robin smiled while swaying back and forth.
Robin: Awww, thank you!
Gordon (frowning): Batman, I can forgive you for many things. The numerous parking tickets that you haven't paid for your Batmobile, the fact that I had to install a giant Bat-Signal on the building and you have not paid me the rest of the money for that yet, and even the time that you hit a fire hydrant and left a note saying ‘sorry'.
Batman (interrupting): I am sorry about that, by the way.
Gordon: Doesn't fix the fact that you haven't paid me for that either! Not the point, why is there a precious child next to you?
Batman: Well... I have a sidekick now.
Gordon: You have a seven-year-old!
Robin (offended): Hey, I am 8!
Robin held up both hands with four fingers on each of them.
Batman: He's 8 and an orphan. Not as weird.
Gordon took a deep breath, trying to accept that this is reality.
Gordon: I should not have to explain to you how that is not better! That's infinitely weirder, not going to lie.
Batman (hiding his embarrassment over his bad wording): I am now becoming aware of how this looks, but he is legally adopted by me. That is all you need to know.
Gordon (taking a deep breath): I have so many follow-up questions, and as a cop, I need you to answer a few of them. I won't be mad if they don't lead me to arresting you because I do kind of like you.
Batman (taken back): Oh... Thanks. Do I have to tell you, though?
Gordon (sternly): Yes.
Batman (relenting): I didn't kidnap him. I legally adopted him after his parents died, through no fault of my own—I realize how weird that sounds, but it's true. I took the kid in, and he's my... son—ch—wa-sidekick! Yes. It's not weird! It's not. He just needed a home. He's a good fighter too. Right, Robin?
Robin (confidently): I can do flips and tricks!
Batman: Yes, he can do flips and tricks. I like him so far; he’s... he’s neat.
Batman patted Robin on the head. Robin smiled giggling.
Gordon (smiling softly): Aww... Dang it, that is cute. Just don't get him hurt, okay?
Batman (sheepishly): Mm hm... Definitely did not have to deal with him getting eaten by a Venus flytrap. Twice. Yeah, we dealt with Poison Ivy earlier this week.
Gordon removed his glasses and rubbed his eyes in frustration.
Gordon: Right... He's walking across the edge of the building, by the way.
Batman (not turning around): Yep, he has a lot of energy.
Robin: This is awesome!
Batman spotted the child flipping on the ledge effortlessly. The new father groaned.
Batman (monotone): I'll go get him.
Batman reached out to grab Robin, but the lively young boy leaped off the ledge and darted away, laughter trailing behind him. Gordon observed the scene in confusion as the normally reserved Batman sprinted after his mischievous youthful partner.
Gordon (wistful): My kid is hyper like that... I hope she got her milk tonight.
Gordon wiped an imaginary tear from his eye.
Batman (trying to grab his son): Robin, stop running!
Robin: No!
Batman: Dang it, child! Stop!
Robin: No! I want to play!
Batman: The night of patrolling isn't over yet.
Robin: I'm hungry!
Batman: I got you McDonald's earlier!
Robin (demanding): I want more McDonald's!
Gordon (chuckling): You get used to it. Tell him you'll punish him if he doesn't listen.
Batman stopped running, realizing that this could work.
Batman (sternly): Robin, if you don't stop running, I will make sure you have no cookies for dessert at dinner tomorrow!
Robin stopped running, huffed, and went back to Batman's side. The little hero crossed his arms, pouting.
Batman: Thank you, kiddo.
Batman patted the boy on the head again. Robin giggled and hugged the man's waist, surprising the adult hero.
Gordon (smiling): Okay... I'm not too worried about this anymore.
Second Robin
Third Robin
Thinking about how Odysseus carved the wedding bed out of an olive tree, which means the bed is rooted in the ground.
Thinking about the line “You don’t think I know my own palace? I built it!”.
Thinking about the fact that Odysseus built his entire palace around that olive tree, his and Penelope’s wedding bed, a symbol of their love.
Odysseus’ world is literally built around his love for Penelope.
…..i’m not crying, i just have an odypen in my eye.
The implementation of Tim’s cowl
merry christmas
I really need more stuff on some Joker Junior angst, along with Jason finding out about Joker Junior. Even better if you wanna pull in the whole Red Hood (Joker/Jason) Attacking Robin (Jason/Tim), both times when Robin was 15 years old and was supposed to be with someone/somewhere safe.
Hmm... I agree that more content about that would be fabulous. I especially love JJ fanart (there's some really cool ones on TikTok).
Fuck it. Here we go:
TW: torture, Joker Junior, violence, blood, flashback, dissociation, derealization, hallucinating(?)
Tim hands fly to his throat in a desperate attempt to rub away the urge to giggle. He's biting his lips hard enough to bleed in order to prevent them from twisting into a panicked grin.
He's pinned to the floor by a man using one of Joker's alias.
Just like old times, eh?
A snicker slips out at that, which only seems to enrage the man in red.
"Something funny, Placeholder?" The voice modulator in the helmet does nothing to hide the clear disdain and wrath curling through Red Hood. His grip tightens over his holsters, but he doesn't pull them out quite yet. The crimson helmet just glares down at Robin.
Red, red, red. He'd look so much better in Green.
Fuck. Note to self, Tim. JJ likes Red Hood.
Robin locks his face down at this revelation to keep a calm facade. He could try to dislodge the knives holding him hostage, but not with the perpetrator towering over him like this. "Nope. My bad, Hood. Got a little distracted. Where were we?"
The crime lord takes a few steps forward until he's next to the trapped bird. Somehow, he makes even the action squatting appear menacing. "This is the part where I torture you. Where I cut off a little bird's wings so you'll never fly again. Maybe then, B will learn."
Robin watches as Hood draws another knife. The crime lord twirls the blade between his fingers and tilts his head. There's a considering glint evident in his body language.
In a sick mockery of comfort, Red Hood trails the knife down Robin's cheek. It's too close to Joker's signs of "affection" after a round of shock treatment.
Junior shudders.
The leather jacket starts to morph into a lavender lounge coat and Tim blinks rapidly to clear his vision.
A sigh of relief escapes his lips when he's able to see Red Hood again.
The crime lord pauses. He tilts his head once more. Tim can feel the gaze studying him, but he's not sure why. He can't tell if the man is genuinely curious or if he's inspecting Robin like a bug trapped in plexiglass.
When the knife leaves his skin, Tim feels his shoulders lose an inch of tension.
"Don't get too comfortable. I've got a few questions before I snap your legs."
Tim can feel a jolt of pain flash through his legs at the claim. He grimaces at the notion of months off field.
Hood leans back onto his heels, fortunately giving the younger teen some space. It doesn't seem intentional, but it's better.
"You've been Robin for two years now?"
When Tim initially refuses to acknowledge the question, Hood raises the knife. Robin sighs and gives a nod.
The man hums and brings the hilt of the knife to his chin. The weird thinking pose blares an alarm in Tim's brain, but he can't quite piece together where he's seen it before.
"About eight months ago, the clown disappeared."
Phantom feelings of electricity run through Tim's body. His muscles twitch under the memory.
Red Hood leans closer. "Where is he?"
Tim can hear -
"You know better than that, Junior. Where's the smile for your old man?"
A desperate giggle bubbles up Tim's throat.
"Come on, son. You wouldn't want to make your mother sad, would you?"
Joker leans over Tim Junior with a wicked grin. He grips a blade and gestures to Junior's lips. "Do you want your dear old Dad to teach you to smile? Again?"
Junior shakes his head frantically as trembling lips split open in a facsimile of a smile. The motion pulls at his stitches scars.
Scars?
That's not-
Junior's smile starts to fall.
Red Hood Joker crosses his arms. "What the fuck are you smiling at?"
Junior still has a smile on his face (it can't drop), but his eyebrows furrow. "Dad?"
Joker flinches back.
Amethyst cloth flickers to bronze leather and then back again. Forest green hair morphs into a cherry red helmet. Junior watches it peer behind its shoulder before Joker's face turns back to him.
"Batman isn't here."
A cackle erupts from Junior's lips and dissolves into a fit of giggles. Joker peers at Tim Junior in confused horror. The kid turns his head more towards the man. A smile stretches and pulls the corner of his lips, highlighting the faint scars.
Junior Tim hears the man take a startled breath in.
"Batsy isn't Dad. Dad-"
Tim frowns as his gaze drifts away from the man. "I killed Dad. He's dead."
He pouts exaggeratedly before Junior dissolves into a fit of giggles. "Bam!" Both of his hands point an imaginary gun Red Hood's Joker's way. "Bam! Bam!" The hands recoil back as if actually shooting the man.
Tears start to stream down Junior's Tim's face. He fights to bring his lips away from a grin.
"Fuck." He's still grining. "Fuck!"
Red Hood, the cause of all of this, is just staring at Tim. He's observing the teen try to bring himself back to sanity inch by stupid fucking inch.
Tim's eyes dart around the room. He takes a deep breath in and, on the exhale, list something he sees. "Chair. Blender. Staff. Kni-"
Several more deep breaths in and out as he ignores all the knives in the room. "Light. Jacket. Cape. Couch. Lemon. Counter."
His hands paw at his utility breath as he keeps breathing. He grasps one of the sour candies and works on opening the wrapper. He pops it into his mouth and continues the breath exercise.
Red Hood is silent as he watches Robin pull himself back into reality.
It takes several more minutes before Robin's breaths return to normal. He lays there looking at the ceiling absolutely drained and done with this whole situation.
Finally, Tim turns his gaze to the crime lord.
"Can you just kill me already or get the fuck out?"
Red Hood responds by pulling off his helmet.
Tim blinks. Sighs. Then starts up his grounding techniques again.
Another illustration for the alternative events of the second part of How to train your Dragon
Hiccup came to Viggo to ask for advice and support, because he wants to resolve the issue with Drago peacefully. Only now Viggo agrees with Stoick and is going to fly as an envoy to the Berserkers, asking for help in a future war
-If you want my approval, then no. Stoick said it right. You don't negotiate with people like Drago. There is a war coming and the leader must think about his people.... Marauder and I will fly north, I will gather my loyal people. And then I will go to our friends, I think they will not refuse to help us. Don't do anything stupid, Hiccup
Gotham based goons definitely blame all their mishaps on the Bats.
Lost a shipment? "Yeah boss, Red Robin came outta nowhere, confiscated all of it."
Someone's cigarette caused a warehouse fire? "Batgirl dropped by and torched the joint."
Fell asleep while on guard duty? "Batman punched the daylights out of me."
Accidentally went to the wrong location and the buyer got arrested? "Bats were chasing the car boss, I figured I'd prioritize the product."
Killed a partner in crime? "Red Hood got him, sorry."
jason: *turns corner after stopping a mugging and sees he's actively getting tire-jacked*
jason:
street kid:
jason: *getting prepared to just let the kid have the tire* any chance you're gonna put that back on?
kid: *eyes narrow* maybe. your name red hood?
jason: uh . . . yeah? *gestures to hood* i'm decently sure
kid: *screws tire back on* here ya go then, mister. sorry about that. i didn't know this was your bike.
jason:
kid:
jason: *hands her a flier for a shelter* ya can go here, kid. they'll help. call me if you ever get into any trouble, okay?
later:
jason: dickie i'll tell ya, in that moment i gave up, ya know? i fully accepted it. i looked down at the kid and i thought, "ive been runnin from bein bruce my whole life, maybe its time to give in". i was fully ready to take the kid to the nearest adoption agency by tomorrow. i was plannin' out the kids room in my apartment, stuffed animals and obnoxious night light an all. an then the little gremlin REJECTED ME
dick . . . by giving you back the tire he stole
jason: *crying* exactly
dick: did it ever cross your mind that she did that because she liked you? not the other way around?
jason: of course not! if she really liked me she would have hit me with the tire iron, not given me back the tire! what kind of backward thinking is that???
dick:
Batman may claim to have no powers, but Green Lantern knows better. He’s convinced that Batman’s cape is sentient.
Green Lantern has observed it on quiet nights in the Watchtower, when Batman thinks no one’s paying attention. He releases control over his cape, letting it unravel and float menacingly around him in different directions. It moves on its own, sweeping across nearby surfaces, carelessly knocking over items.
There’s one thing Green Lantern knows for sure—Batman’s cape has a sweet tooth. Every time Batman passes the candy bowl, it’s mysteriously emptied.
Even stranger, it seems to influence other capes. Once, while Batman was talking to Superman, their capes briefly touched, and Green Lantern saw Superman’s cape come to life—swirling and fluttering as though it had a mind of its own. Superman, unfazed, didn’t even react to the way their capes were flapping erratically around them. Green Lantern was relieved he didn’t have a cape.
He told the others about his theory, but they were skeptical at first. They eyed Batman’s cape with suspicion as he was distracted by a mission briefing with Wonder Woman. But even the Flash had to admit Green Lantern might be onto something when Batman’s cape swiped their feet out from under them, sending them both tumbling to the floor.
Martian Manhunter nodded sagely and agreed on its intelligence, having felt the minds of four little beings flitting around underneath Batman’s cape. Maybe one day they’d feel comfortable enough to run underneath his cape too.
I understand that in canon Tim did NOT ever ask to be Robin, he saw what happened to the last guy. I understand that Alfred basically dropped the uniform on him and said "Go, my child, be free!" AND I understand that Dick was basically like "Yeah, this works."
But I feel like a more accurate description of what happened is... Like...
Dick, holding Tim up by the scruff: If not Robin, why Robin shaped?