When The Paper Needs A Break

This

Our fandom forbearers did NOT suffer through Anne Rice, strikethrough, and other bullshit for fucking ACOTAR and Harry Potter fans to fucking ruin it for all of us by selling fanfiction. I am not losing novel length yaoi epics because some of you don't know how to act in fannish spaces and yes I do blame the booktokification of fanfic but I also blame those of you that treat fandom like content to consume and not a community to engage with.

Dick: Happy Chrismis!

Damian: What is Happening.

Tim: Is Chrismimth.

Damian: what are you fools-

Steph: Merry Crisis!

Damian: Father, they have lost their minds.

[All four stare at Bruce expectantly]

Bruce, sighing: Merry Crysler.

only in gotham...

so a common trend for businesses in Gotham is to hang up a sign in their window, or have it sitting at the front of the store that say "all unattended children will be given over to Bruce Wayne' and some even say "to Batman and become the next Robin" its all to encourage parents to keep their children close, this is Gotham after all, and a subtle reminder, hey keep an eye or your kid, you break it you buy it sort of stuff

the most memorable occasion i can think of of these signs being spotted however, are when one of Batkids or a Wayne child comes into contact with them. I was shopping at the supermarket where the cashier had one such sign hanging above her checkout, when Stephanie Brown, followed by Damian Wayne and Tim Drake walked in. They perused the store for a few minutes, when Stephanie noticed the sign. She screamed at the top of her lungs and pushed Tim, who landed against damian. the two boys glared at her, noticed the sign, and immediately fled, Damian near tears as he sprinted next to his siblings. the cashier and i could not stop laughing

about a week later i was buying my girlfriend flowers at a corner store, with the batman sign dangling from a nearby pole (they are also on the streets to remind parents not to let their kids wander alone in gotham) when Nightwing and Red Hood came running past, and spotted the sign. Red Hood looked around wildly and fled, arms raised in the air as he sprinted down the street and away from the store, while Nightwing, laughing, just cartwheeled down the street, calling out 'Batman!!!! oh batman!!!!' the Bat came running past seconds later, fleeing. Nightwing cackled madly and sprinted after him

only in gotham...

How I’d introduce the Batfamily into the DCU

(This isn’t based on anything, this is my own imagination. I’m not up to date on all the DCU news)

1) The Brave and the Bold (2026)

* Direct follow-up to Superman (2025)

* Clark Kent and Lois Lane learn that kryptonite is being smuggled on the black market. In order to find the source, they follow a lead that takes them to Gotham City.

* Batman has already been established BUT he’s been retired for 3 years.

* The movie is a buddy cop centered on Clark pulling Bruce Wayne out of retirement since he needs help in finding the kryptonite smuggler. The thing is, Bruce is incredibly depressed and has lost his interest in crime-fighting when Clark first meets him. The reason why he is depressed is his character arc in the movie.

* Dynamic: Young, still kind of a rookie Superman working with a veteran, jaded Batman (but not DCEU levels of jaded, he’s more just cranky and sad like Worst Wolverine in Deadpool and Wolverine)

* The reason why Bruce quit being Batman is that his sidekick Robin - Jason Todd - was killed by Joker. Bruce also mentions that his first Robin, Dick Grayson, walked out on him and is now operating as Nightwing in Blüdhaven. There’s also Barbara Gordon aka Batgirl, who checks in on Bruce from time to time. She’s semi-retired from being Batgirl, mainly because she’s also dealing with Jason’s death.

* The kryptonite smuggler and the main villain of the movie turns out to be John Corben / Metallo. He gets beat by Supes and Bats and is sent to prison.

* By the end of the movie, thanks to Superman, Bruce has regained his spark and resumes being Batman full-time. He and Clark become close friends and Bruce gives Clark one of his Bat-Pagers/Bat-Phones if he ever needs his help in the future.

* Post-credit scene: Some kind of Justice League tease

2) Nightwing (2026)

* Nightwing solo movie. We follow Dick during one of his adventures in Bludhaven.

* Barbara Gordon is the deuteragonist.

* Tim Drake is the tritagonist. Tim isn’t Robin yet at this point in the timeline.

* Post-credits: Nightwing decides to return to Gotham in order to hunt down a vigilante known as “Red Hood”.

3) Batman: Under the Red Hood (2027)

* Takes place a few months after “The Brave and the Bold” and “Nightwing”.

* Batman has fully resumed active duty. He is joined by Tim, Batgirl and Nightwing. Nightwing says he’s only in Gotham for the Red Hood and that he’s uninterested in going back to being Robin. That being said, he tells Bruce that he should consider enlisting Tim Drake.

* Red Hood is hunting down the remnants of the Joker gang. He attacks one of their hideouts, knowing full well that the Joker gang members were meeting with Roman Sionis’ gang. Red Hood, viewing everyone inside as a legitimate target, just opens fire. Roman, aka Black Mask, becomes the primary villain of the movie since he wants revenge for what Red Hood did to his minions.

* Plot twist: Red Hood is revealed to be Jason Todd (whoa, bruh, betcha didn’t see that coming!)

* Black Mask puts a hit out on Red Hood as payback for his murdered minions. The Bat gang has to take down both Black Mask since he’s a crime lord who is out for blood and Red Hood since he’s a loose cannon serial killer.

* Black Mask is taken down by the Bat Gang. However, just as Bruce is telling Roman that he should be grateful that he caught him instead of Red Hood, Roman is shot by Jason Todd. Because of this, Jason becomes the primary villain for the last act of the movie.

* Finale is Batman vs. Red Hood. Bruce refuses to fight Jason and only reacts in self-defense. The fight eventually ends in a heart-to-heart in which Jason goes into a rant about how he’s still dealing with the trauma of the Joker incident. Bruce, despite feeling sorry for Jason, says he has to turn him in since he’s killed so many people. Jason says, “Sorry Bruce, prison’s not for me”, then throws a smoke grenade and makes his escape.

* Movie ends with Nightwing returning to Bludhaven (but on better terms with Bruce), Tim Drake becoming the new Robin, Barbara Gordon saying she’ll commit more time in being Batgirl, and Red Hood going after criminals in a different city.

* Post-credits: An imprisoned Joker learns his new therapist is Dr. Harleen Quinzel.

We all know the Superman meme of the destroyed Building behind him… Well this game me this idea! It started when Danny got the power to repair objects as well as people. And as Amity Park didn't get much property damage, Danny couldn't really train his new power! So he asked Clockwork to help, which the old ghost did. In the best way he can. The next thing Danny knew, he was in a destroyed city! Yes, he can try his new powers! Healing and fixing property damage!

After Danny fixed the city, he was teleported back by Clockwork back into the Ghost zone.

From Gotham, Metropolis, Coast City, and similar places he visited by teleportation, he saved people and animals and healed them! From forest fires to natural disasters to violent attacks of villains.

Barbara had no idea how much she and her father James cried as she stood up and could suddenly walk. After she met the Meta boy while on the street, he pointed his blue glowing hand at her. Arkham had much fewer inmates too, as few were cured too. Mr. Frieze and his wife Nora, Warren White had no idea what to say, Harvey Dent was crying out of joy, Killer Coc could change now between humans and Croc, and Clayface got a cure to be back to normal, Man Bat too was back a human. Danny had saved them passively, as they were near him as he fixed the city. Victor gave the boy diamonds as gift for it, so he has at least a bit of pocket money.

Lex got his hair back and was cured of his cancer; he needs the boy. That he fixed up his Building with him and his employees inside was part of it too.

+ All the cities are fighting each other to get the tiny new Meta Boy! They need him! VERY MUCH!

I think every Batkid who puts on the cowl to cover for Bruce embarrassingly undergoes the rite of passage of

a) accidentally forgetting to compensate for the ears and nearly getting taken out by door frames

b) voice crack:

Gordon: "Alright, which one of you is under there? You know what, don't answer that-" downs blood pressure meds "-just don't say anything."

Batman:...

Gordon: "Perfect."

You know the “Dad, How Do I?” YouTube channel? Yeah, that, but with Red Hood, and they’re unlisted videos that Crime Alley residents share with each other.

It started with goons stealthily taking videos of Red Hood ranting about shitty drug quality that they upload under the title “Boss on drug quality control,” primarily for other goons so that anyone can tell if the supplies have been cut with something and don’t need to waste time asking Hood.

Then videos from civilians start popping up too, featuring Red Hood lecturing street kids titled things like “RH on staying warm in winter” and “RH on how not to get mugged.”

Memorably, there’s a video titled “RH on classic literature (y’all did RH go to college???? Is our crime lord a lit major???)” where Red Hood imparts upon some kids the importance of reading. After a very positive reception, the uploader goes back to Red Hood, asks about a book they’re reading for school, and gets a whole lecture on themes and whatnot. It does numbers and becomes a series, and this time Hood knows the camera exists (he’s always known they exist, he just couldn’t be bothered to acknowledge them) and actually talks to it.

(Jason will do anything to help these children, whether it’s giving them a leg up in school, giving the street kids who aren’t in school some semblance of an education, or teaching them how to shank someone trying to traffic them.)

Red Hood never uploads any videos himself, but it doesn’t matter. Crime Alley crowd sourced its own version of Khan academy and it’s better for it.

Fun BatThought of The Day

Because Bruce sometimes reverts to ‘Caveman Mode’ and really only the Batfam speaks fluent ‘monotone Batman grunt’ sometimes they like to overreact or exaggerate just to see if Bruce will correct them.

—

At JL meeting: *Green Lantern says something about a report*

Batman: Hn

Robin!Dick: Woah, B! Don’t use that kind of language! Relax, I’m sure GL didn’t mean it!

Hal: What, what’s happening, What’d he say? What’d I say?

Batman: Hn

Robin: *scandalized* BATMAN!

—

I’m going through my httyd pro create folder and I just keep finding stuff that I wanna upload like wdym I haven’t posted the silly httyd1 Hiccup and Toothless page what

I actually made it comic form lmao this was fun