Alfred: Master Bruce… What Are You Doing?

Jim Gordon meets ... Batman and Robin. The Dynamic Duo. The Best of the Best.

Batman & Robin: Year One (2024) #1 by Mark Waid and Chris Samnee

Alfred, after a life full of excitement, having been to war, having spied, being perfectly willing to murder a motherfucker if the situation calls for it, entering the Waynes' employ expecting the start of a period of normalcy in his life:

Martha Wayne:

Alfred, thinking this is a s weird as its gonna get:

Bruce Wayne:

Bruce Wayne inherited the most interesting parts of both of his parents and most people agree this was not a good thing 🤣

Dick in Gotham handling a hostage situation at a local university. Some villain crashed a party in the student apartments and has the whole building locked down. Dick is in there with Damian, and they finally make it to the floor where the bad guy is and they’re having this big tense stand off before the final fight…

and then one of the college students who this guy had huddled in the corner grabs a chair and just fucking clocks this guy. He hits him over the head so hard that the chair breaks and the guy COLLAPSES. Dick is like . Oh??

And then the student turns around (with a truly unhinged glint in his eye) and Dick recognizes him and realizes OH . Oh this is Tim’s boyfriend. That’s the crazy guy who recruited us to go beat up cultists with him. Yeah we didn’t even need to come he had that handled actually

It's always funny to me when people assume that Batman employed a child when said child was like 'let me out there or I will start going out myself and biting ankles'

Citizen or whtv: what the hell batman

Batman: (helpless shrugging) look it was either this(gestures to traffic light child) or he goes out alone and dies ok what choice did I have

I love your amnesia incident au! May I ask what is Soundwave's reaction towards this incident?

thanks mate!!

so like uhh

scenario time guys

if he was gonna go spy on the Autobots specifically their base (which is where the two DUMBASSES are right now) he'd be kinda baffled that he sees their damn leader with them yeah?

but with him being the "eyes and ears of the decepticons" he could see that his optics are bloody BLUE now, and he acts more like a follower than a leader if you know what I mean

then Soundwave sees that it's Megatronus, but not the courageous and confident gladiator we know him as, because right now it's D-16

I feel like he would want to go see him, but like you know his visor face recorded EVERYTHING then he goes back to the Nemesis shows Starshet the crap and stuffnstuff

so yeah THIS IS JUST A SCENARIO but i feel like its what would happen

Ah.... yeah that's ummmm yeah

The gasp I just gusped upon remembering that Dick was not mentally in a good place right before Damian died, and Damian knew it. So then for Damian to come back to life and to be told that Dick is dead... I can only imagine what his initial assumption must have been.

Rex: So General Kenobi, how come you speak mando'a?

Obi-Wan: I've always been interested in the culture and I spent a year on Mandalore for a mission in my youth :)

Rex: I see, what about you, General Skywalker?

Anakin: Huh? Oh Obi-Wan used to drop me off in mando daycare when he went to get laid in little Keldabe, fun times, they taught me how to headbutt someone.

When the League meets Baby Robin(Dick), they are genuinely surprised, as it seems impossible that Batman is raising this little ray of sunshine who appeared from between his cape and then proceeded to greet them with the brightest smile they've all ever seen, completely adoring Superman, saying how great Wonder Woman is, and actually laughing at Barry's jokes.

Bruce takes care of his work, but occasionally stops to, in fact, help Robin who is trying to do his English homework. The other members also help out, of course.

So, Hal arrives at the Watchtower, and Robin, seeing the man his dad mentor has been so grumpy about because of the last meeting they had (Hal doesn't understand that Batman is the best at his job and is the one giving directions for a reason, duh!), decides he will exact revenge.

He carries on a normal conversation with the man just as he did with everyone else, subtly leading the topic until Hal falls into the trap:

Hal: What about your mom? I can't imagine anyone putting up with the old bat.

He speaks with all mockery, but then his smile freezes when he sees the tremor in the little boy's shoulders.

Dick: *shuddering and holding back a little sob* my mummy died in front of me a few months ago.... I...

Hal is pale now, because the child actually sobs, and runs off to hide in the cape of Batman, who was now standing, ready to stitch up his child.

He's not the only one, Superman and the others are already there too, looking at him angrily because he made the little bean cry.

Hal is in a panic.

And if he sees how the boy smiles at him when no one is looking, sticking his tongue out at him while moving his lips to send him the message "Don't bother my dad", no one would ever believe him, not while the little boy is now clinging to Batman tightly as he slowly blinks away tears that not even the best actors could ever pull off.

Only Hal knows the devil behind that angel face.

Batman knows it too, but he adores his precious little demon.

Damian: What is gay privilege?

Kate: Better sex.

Steph: No accidental kids.

Tim: Date someone your size and double your wardrobe.

Barbara: Being able to listen to really good music together cause of automatic good taste.

Jason: Not being straight.