I'm So Torn Between Wanting To Move Out And Get As Sick As Possible Living Alone And Wanting To Be Recovered

I'm so torn between wanting to move out and get as sick as possible living alone and wanting to be recovered by then.

Because the ed part of me has been waiting for that since I first developed it, but then I actually want to make it in life, maybe I'll be studying physics or chemistry and I'll NEED brain power for that, and I can't keep thinking about food 24/7 then, I know it'll likely never fully go away and at the moment, I'm not even trying to get better, but I just don't know what to do

I don't think I want to recover yet - let alone that I would be able to right now - but I know that at some point I'll have to if I ever want to be more than I am right now

Could someone please give me some kind of advice 🥹

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eeeeeeismeee

3 weeks ago

I should've taken my blades with me

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eeeeeeismeee

3 weeks ago

Just tried that light green/paradise monster and it reminds of me those apple gummy bears I used to eat as a kid? Idk it's just kinda sweet and not my favourite but I think it's definitely drinkable

I mean it for sure makes me kinda nostalgic - I mean these gummy bears made me (among sooo many other things) a fatty little kid and then I got bullied and then there were Mom and Grandma's comments and you know how the story goes lol.

Yeah... the good ol' days

(The more I'm sipping in that monster rn though the more I like it so I guess 7/10???) lol no one asked for a monster review yet here I am

(Can you tell I'm fucking bored?)

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eeeeeeismeee

2 weeks ago

I hope no one noticed how I literally bought six cans of sf monster and nothing else

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tw ana bløg 3ating d1sorder 3d f4st @na shit 4n4rexia 4n4blr 4nor3xia 4norexla @na rules @na fast @n@ diet @n@ meal 3d blog @na blog 4n@diary 4nerex1a 3ating disord3r anor3c1a an0r3cia 34t1ng d1s0rd3r 3d di3t 3d diary 4n4m1a 34t1ng dis0rder @na meal

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eeeeeeismeee

3 weeks ago

Got logged out of my EA account today and I can't remember my passwords (plus the email address I used is inactive now). Guess even my computer thinks I should stop fucking procrastinating and WORK because there's literally nothing fun I can do anymore besides that now that I can't play Sims anymore (cuz it's too late for music and I have an injury that flares up sometimes and it's huuurts right now, so I can't even work out and my friend is not responding even though we wanted to call this evening)

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eeeeeeismeee

1 month ago

I should've worshipped her sooner

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eeeeeeismeee

1 month ago

parents tryna get me to wear a dress like noooo don't they fucking get the hints?

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eeeeeeismeee

2 weeks ago

reblog to give your mutuals a djungelskog

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eeeeeeismeee

2 months ago

Sometimes I like to imagine what it'll be when I live alone

I can see a fucking bright future of cutting whenever and wherever, starving for days and not even getting the binge food in the house in the first place and weighing myself won't be the most stressful encounter to have to be done in secret

Yeah and other than that I wanna go to uni and stuff

Sounds fucking fun

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tw ana bløg tw ed ana 4nor3xia 4norexla anor3c1a an0r3cia th!n$piration 34t1ng dis0rder

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eeeeeeismeee

3 weeks ago

I'll go for the ones on the left