Wdym Just Staring At The Document Won't Get Me Any Work Done

I feel dirty and I don't feel real

Like it seriously feels like being fat is blocking me from actually living and being someone

I know that sounds silly but I can't take myself serious like this

And I don't know who I am if I'm not skinny

Part of me wants to get better so badly, whereas on the other hand I want to get as bad as possible

as much as im the main factor of my downfall into this disorder i really hope one day i can recover and truly love myself as i am

you know you’re deep in an ed when you’re triggered by finding out you have a higher than average birthweight 😭 like wdym i was nine pounds as a newborn? ok fatty

hearing "masculine women are not attractive!!" from cishet men is so stupid. like ok bitch. more for me then.

think coming out as gay is hard? try telling people you don’t want to eat. So much for the tolerant left 🙄

I'm fat why am I still fat

Oh it's cuz I eat food like the fucking fat ass I am I fucking hate food and I need to be skinnyyyyyyyy

Everything I got from the store today! I ended up not getting too much because I reconsidered my budget, but here it is! They didn't have my usual protein bar flavours so I decided to try these new ones, and I haven't tried on of these monsters as well. I just like to amass safe foods and look at them it makes me happy honestly lol

They shouldn't have me shopping for clothes if they don't want me to make pretty little red engravings on my legs after

I just baked a cake for my Dad's birthday tomorrow

I haven't baked anything in a very long time and I was just remembering how I used to love eating the batter

Not anymore though

I really hope I will get around actually having to eat it, I think I'll just say I'll take a piece to school with me maybe

I feel so bad turning down the food my parents or friends got me just to make me happy

Because despite the fact that my mom and I watch shows or movies almost every day together, it's kind of rare that my dad joins in as well and recently we're watching through some old classics and it's kind of special

And I was really excited to watch another movie with them today and I told them and they extra bought chips and said they were for me and 🥲

It's so sweet but chips are like my fear food number one