Latest Posts by fatarthoe666-blog - Page 3

Lool when I ate 18-20 kcal something I feel like I will die

100 calories is weird tbh

like, If I eat 100 calories its like ‘OMG THATS TOO MUCH YOU FAT FAILURE’

but if I burn off 100 calories its like ‘OMG THATS NOTHING YOU FAT FAILURE’ 

you feel me?

person: *loses weight eating healthy balanced meals and exercising*

my bitter ass:

Friend: omg I haven’t eaten since breakfast!!

Me 32 hours into a fast:

Me scrolling through thinspo after a binge

You: you need to eat at least 1200 calories a day to survive

Me, an intellectual: 0 calories is more than enough

I mean yeah,the taste of pizza is delicious but have you ever tried

I C E C U B E S

I will vomit now🤢 hadn't ate something for 10 day, I was realy hungry,I just ate whole plate full with spagetti cheese and tomato. I feel realy sick 😷

I will starve myself so hard !

When I was 11 years old I raped by an old man, I was coming homs from school, i stopped at park and started playing with children when they went homs I was alone one big fat man suddenly come and hold ms tight he had a knife sayed if I will shout he will kill me,I was just laying At the bench he was raping me and he had fand at my mouth, i was crying, when he finished he ran away.Nobody knows this, i am hiding fdom my family cause thsy are all shit people muslims.if they know I lost my virginity they will force to marry to an old men. I Had big trauma, I have panick attacks and anxiety

When I was 13 years old and curious about sex and love, I asked my mom if she had had sex before marrying my father (of whom she is still married to, and has been since before I was born). She said that that wasn’t really a ‘yes’ or ‘no’ question. I said ‘sure it is, you’ve either had sex before him, or you haven’t’. She brought me onto the couch and sat me down and told me about the boy she liked when she was young and how one night she snuck into his house while his parents were gone and they were kissing and he said they should have sex and she said that she wanted to save sex for marriage and he laughed and basically took all her clothes off and he raped her and as my mom was telling the story she cried and this was the second time I had ever seen my mom cry. She was 12 when it happened.

In grade 8 I got a call from my friend in the middle of the night and she was drunk in the park crying and told me that she went out that night with some other friends and they drank a little and her guy “friend” starting flirting and yes she laughed at first but then he tried to pull her shirt over her head and she pulled away and he ripped her shirt and it was her favourite shirt and then he pushed her to her knees and HIS BEST FRIEND HELD HER JAW OPEN WHILE HE FACE FUCKED HER. And so I went to the park and picked her up and took her home and slept in her bed with her except we didn’t sleep because she just cried and her mouth bled and this was four years ago but I still have to be the one to bring her items to the till it the cashier is a man, and she still has anxiety attacks and she’ll get a rash all over her body and I just want to kill those boys but instead they are still walking around. And I’m in the bathroom with her, dabbing at her skin with a warm cloth until it returns to its regular colour.

And in grade 9 one of my closest friends was kinda seeing this boy and so they hung out one night and then she said that she really had to be getting back home and he said that she wasn’t going anywhere until she gave him what he wanted and he parked the car and took off her clothes and she said no and he ignored her and so she laid in the backseat totally limp and just cried and it wasn’t even sex, he just masterbated by using her body instead of his hand and she came to school the next day with vodka in her water bottle and she drank all day and I had to fight her to get the alcohol away from her and she just cried and threw up and I skipped class while I held her hair back and that same boy texted me a month later, asking if I ever wanted to hangout sometime.

And in that same year my very best friend who has never even kissed a boy, confessed to me that when she was 9 years old, her 12 year old cousin made her give him a hand job and he told her that was what cousins do and he gave her a chocolate bar afterwards and she told me that he probably doesn’t even remember it but that it’s something that she’ll never have the luxury of forgetting.

And in grade 10 I knew a girl who invited her best friend over to watch Disney movies and then he started to put his hands down her pants and she said no but she is 130lbs and he is 220lbs and he called her a tease while she tried to fight him but he used one hand to hold her down, and the other to put inside of her and i was the one to push her inside of a classroom and stand in front of her while calling the police when he showed up at our school looking for her and she was so damn scared.

And a few months later I skipped class and was in the car with a guy who i had had unprotected sex with in the past while under the influence of cocaine but this time I was sober and I insisted we use a condom but he told me he couldn’t feel anything while the condom was on so he ripped it off and I said I refused to have unprotected sex again and so he just grabbed me and forced himself into my mouth and I was crying and he pulled me onto him and I just came saying “stop” over and over like a broken record but he must’ve heard something different because he went until he came and I just sat naked in the backseat while he drove me back to the school and said “we should do this again sometime”. And I had five showers that night and I scratched at my skin so hard to try and rip his fingerprints off of me, I still have the scars.

And I found out soon afterwards that that same guy had raped a classmate of mine, 5 months earlier and she told me about how he brought her McDonald’s first, and how he said they could take things slow and she told me about how he didn’t listen to her either. And he goes to our school and so after she told me about her incident and I told her about mine, we decided to report it to the police and the trial is currently still going on and he told people about it, except in his version we are just “asking for attention” and all his friends talk about how bad they feel for him. As if HE is the one that still wakes up screaming. As if HE felt like his skin no longer was beautiful, no longer belonged to him. And I held her in my arms as she bawled after giving the police her statement. And she did the same for me.

And I met a woman a year ago in a paint store and she had a service dog and I asked what the dog was for and it turns out that she had been so brutally raped and abused in her life, that the dog is literally trained to keep men away from her.

And I’m so FUCKING SICK AND TIRED OF THIS WORLD WE ARE LIVING IN. How many rape victims eyes have I already looked into? How many more will I? And how many more friends will I hold while they shake? Because I don’t know how many more I can take. And who the fuck still has the nerve to make rape jokes? And… Something just has to change. Please, someone just start being that change.

-16 year old girl

me: i’m so lonely and i want to talk to someone, i’d love to-

someone: hey :)

me: that’s too much stress and responsibility, i didn’t ask for this

source

weight loss affirmations

✨ I will lose 50 pounds by the end of 2018

✨ The ends will justify my means

✨ Losing weight is simple and easy 

✨ I love the feeling of cold water running into an empty stomach 

✨ Hunger is positive reinforcement 

✨ There is a sense of purity that comes with feeling hungry 

✨ Exercise is cleansing

✨ Your body is your temple and you need to take care of it. You are cleansing it. Sweeping the cobwebs out of the corners, reducing the clutter in certain areas, simplifying and cleaning. 

✨ Fasting is the most truthful form of discipline

✨ I am doing this for myself and for myself alone 

✨ I will eat in smaller portions 

✨ I seldom exceed my calorie limit 

✨ I am always in a calorie deficit 

✨ My fat cells are consistently shrinking 

✨ I am losing weight and shedding pounds every day 

✨ This is easy and simple

✨ I am on the road to finding the body I can love 

✨ I am feeding my body good foods 

✨ My body is flourishing because I eat wholesome and natural foods 

✨ My ultimate goals weight is attainable 

✨ No one can stop me 

✨ When I make mistakes, I forgive myself and keep looking forward

✨It is never too late. This is always a journey. 

✨ I love eating healthy and wholesome foods in moderate proportions

✨ I scorn unhealthy and fattening foods not because they “make me fat” but because they damage my temple 

✨ I love to move my body 

✨ I am kind and willing to do favors for people 

✨ I am active and I am energetic 

✨ I am always mindful of my body and my hunger levels

Hey, I’m looking for new people to follow! Please reblog if you:

• post thinspo / low-cal recipes

• have an ed

• are lgbt+ 🏳️‍🌈

• are mentally ill

• Or really if your blog has anything to do with eating disorders.

You don’t have to have all of the above! I’ll follow everyone who reblogs this!

Now repeat with me:

You are not hungry, you’re bored

You are not hungry, you’re bored

You are not hungry, you’re bored

You are not hungry, you’re bored

You are not hungry, you’re bored

You are not hungry, you’re bored

You are not hungry, you’re bored

You are not hungry, you’re bored

You are not hungry, you’re bored

You are not hungry, you’re bored

You are not hungry, you’re bored

You are not hungry, you’re bored

You are not hungry, you’re bored

You are not hungry, you’re bored

You are not hungry, you’re bored

My mom bullies me 24/48 hours when she is with her friends, telling me I look like a whale,cow, I am useless!trash!

reblog if a close member of your family has ever told you you’re fat

My mother almost every day of my life.

Hi. You’re not allowed to binge for today and tomorrow. :)

You’re welcome. Stay strong. It’s going to be okay. Pass this on.

I would rather:

be cold than sweaty.

bruise easily than have red blotches on my skin.

be criticized for eating too little, not too much.

be dainty not chubby.

have clothes that are too big, not too small.

i want to be the opposite of what I am right now.

i don’t want to be me

😭this post was just so damn beautiful, and satifishing, I wish you to reach your goals💫(sorry for my broke english)

Summer Imagine

You wake up, it’s nearly 10 o’clock in the morning and you’ve never been more excited to get out of bed to check your weight. You know you’ve lost weight you can see the difference in those before and after photos. You can see each rib and each hipbone. Your collar bones are so sharp and noticeable. Your thigh gap is beautiful and it goes amazingly well with your small calves.

As you think of how perfect your body has gotten you pull your blankets off of your petite body, using your skeleton-like arms. Since you get colder now you need multiple blankets but you’re not complaining. You sort of think it’s cute.

You pull yourself towards the bathroom. With each step you take you feel like you’re gliding across your oak wood floors, floating even. You pull out your scale and see your UGW. You’ve never felt more proud of yourself, it was so euphoric, so satisfying.  You were overjoyed. You decide to skip downstairs to the kitchen for some breakfast. While you make yourself some green tea you look out of the window admiring everything. You can see the sun shining in, the neighbourhood kids playing, that sweet old grandma that has the most beautiful garden you’ve ever seen. You can smell that nature filled summer smell. You can hear the birds chirping, the giggles, but most importantly your tea kettle whistling. After you pour out some delicious green tea you make yourself some egg whites. You could only finish 3 quarters of your plate after your appetite has shrunk. You drank your green tea and headed back upstairs.

You look through your closet with all your old, baggy clothing. You’re disgusted, you can’t believe that you were once that weight, but now you can wear whatever you want, wherever you want and no one would judge you. Deciding to head out for a stroll and visit that sweet, old grandma you pull out a shirt and some ripped jeans. “Actually…” You think to yourself “You can wear something better than this.” Now that you’re skinny, you pull out your UGW outfit that was used to motivate you and head outside you can feel that warm, summer breeze as you stroll down your driveway. 

*Ping* you check your phone and it turns out you BFF wants to hang out with you and a couple guys at the beach. 

*Ping* She texts you again saying that your lifelong crush is going to be there as well. 

You run back home. Get your bathing suit ready, you were going to try it on to see how it looks on you but you decided not to because you know you look amazing. You call her up and tell her your coming and that you’re super excited.

For once in your life, you’ve never been happier. 

Me: How do I stop my stomach from growling?

Google: Eat.

Me:

My goals for this year🦑

Lose 15-kg before 4 july🦑

Lose 10 kg in July🦑

Lose 10 kg in August🦑

Lose 5 kg in September🦑

I want to be soo skinny, I want to feel my every single bone when I touch my body💫

I will post some updates with my pics

I will start water fasting tomorrow💧wish me luck💫

Text me💫

Follow me💫

P.s my name is Amy and I am 15 years old, broken suicidal alone girl with insomnia and Ed.