Wtf Is Wrong With Me And Why Am I Laughing So Fucken Hard Like This Is So Hilarious To Me And I Don't

✩˚₊‧♡ Blackmail Material ♡‧₊˚✩

masterlist [COMPLETE]

18+ only | no use of y/n | f!reader | complete | word count: 30,591.

a classic tale of "that fuckin raccoon found your sex toy." post-endgame friends-to-lovers smut with feelings.

i am not writing off the possibility of an epilogue someday (a "one year later" scenario won't fully let go of my brain) but for now i feel like this story has been told and we can leave these two to enjoy their smutty little lives together.

Collects 3 of 3 Parts. ♡‧₊˚✩

♡‧₊˚✩ Part One: Blackmail Material [8/7] you've been hiding one - or maybe two - things from your best friend on the Bowie. unfortunately for you, now he knows. smut with feelings + fluff. sex toys, voyeurism/exhibitionism, impact play.

♡‧₊˚✩ Part Two: Self-Sufficience [8/28] rocket deals with the emotional aftermath of your night together, engages in some kinda-sad masturbation, and learns that deep down, his most-secret kink is having sex with someone who loves him. fuck. smut with feelings + fluff. angst, sexual fantasy, dirty talk, oral sex (f receiving), spanking.

♡‧₊˚✩ Part Three: Bioluminescent [10/23] rocket finally decides what he wants. you're glowingly happy to oblige. smut with lotsa feelings + fluff, dirty talk, begging, light dom/sub elements, little bit of oral, references to impact play.

if you’d like to be added to my fanfiction taglist, please comment or send me a message or ask!

Read this. Stop everything you are doing and read this.

2023 fanfiction collection

navigation | full fanfiction masterlist | collections headcanons & imagines | sfw fanfiction | nsfw fanfiction

below the cut, you'll find individual sfw & nsfw rocket fanfics completed in 2023.

relevant ratings key: fluff ✮ | spice ✩ | some smut ❤︎‬ | much smut ❤︎‬❤︎‬

more detail about what you can expect from my fiction

typically, platonic & spicy stories will feature a gn reader (no use of y/n). smutty stories are more likely to feature a "female" reader or oc.

a separate post for headcanons & imagines organized by year will be forthcoming. eventually.

check out the navigation & full fanfiction pages for links to future projects and expected updates, other recommended writers in the fandom, my rocket fan art, writing tips, marvel critique, fic previews, new posts, etc ♡

July 2023

The Very Boring Adventures of Space Pilot & Sweatshirt Girl. ❤︎‬❤︎ 18+ only MDNI | f!reader | 5/5 visits | word count: 37,783. In Rocket Raccoon: Grounded (2016) / Issue #3, Rocket asks a stranger on the ferry to "make sure nobody does anything weird" to him while he naps, and the stranger just, like, abandons him while he's sleeping?? who does that? when a stranger asks you to watch their stuff in a coffee shop, it's a holy obligation. x100 if it's a hot local space pilot trying to catch some Zs on the ferry. get in loser we're gonna fix it. | Domestic Scenes in Space Travel.

August 2023

Outer Space Safety & Spaceship Maintenance Training. ❤︎‬❤︎ 18+ only MDNI | f!reader | word count: 9,853. study night. or: why study when you can seduce your hot local Space Pilot into oral? | Domestic Scenes in Space Travel.

September 2023

Autopilot Systems Check ✮ fluff | gn reader | word count: 1,406. reader wakes up in the middle of the night and rocket is nowhere to be found. mcu-based, post-endgame. | anthology

Reconnaissance for Beginners: An Instruction Manual. ❤︎‬❤︎ 18+ only MDNI | f!reader | word count: 14,329. date night. in a gesture of true romance, rocket takes you to a dive bar. of all the stories he's shared with you, his favorites are the ones where he gets saved by the space princess. not that he'd tell you that. loosely based on Rocket (2017): The Blue River Score. | Domestic Scenes in Space Travel.

October 2023

Blackmail Material. ❤︎‬❤︎18+ only MDNI | f!reader | word count: 30,591. a classic tale of "that fuckin raccoon found your sex toy." post-endgame friends-to-lovers smut with feelings, fluff, & love confessions. see post for warnings and contex

kinktober 2023. ❤︎‬❤︎ f!reader x rocket. please read all warnings.

Turbulence ♡ cockwarming word count: 1,229 rocket needs you to hold. flarkin. still.

Practice ♡ hunter/prey word count: 987 rocket requests your assistance in brushing up on some of his old résumé skills. expansion: evasive maneuvers.

Nod for Yes ♡ blindfold word count: 1,261 rocket saves you.

Heavy Artillery ♡ gunplay word count: 3,796 rocket sets you up with terran internet access on knowhere.

Proof ♡ recording rocket wants something to remember you by while he’s away. overlaps with Domestic Scenes in Space Travel.

Soft ♡ nipple/tit play word count: 4,280 rocket just wants something soft.

Sunshine ♡ against a wall word count: 5,489 you take a stranger home. expansion: sunshine.

Triptych ♡ praise word count: 5,514 rocket’s girlfriend is a virgin in three different universes.

Good Dreams ♡ dacryphilia & somnophilia word count: 3,256 rocket stays up late to finish some work.

Tech ♡ sex toys word count: 1,326 rocket made you something.

Giftwrap ♡ lingerie word count: 6,484 semi-shy, ultrafeminine reader goes shopping with friends; picks out something nice for rocket. sequel to windfall (can be read alone).

Wyndham; or, the Intergalactic Prometheus ♡ free space 21 ~ hate sex ♡ 23 ~ dirty talk/begging/cnc ♡ 26 ~ choking ♡ 29 ~ creampie word count: 13,512 a smutty  ode to a halloween classic ♡ mary shelley’s frankenstein; or, the modern prometheus. au rocket essentially lives the creature's life; visits the high evolutionary’s bride on your wedding night per the novel. things go off the rails from there. READ WARNINGS. expansion: cicatrix.

tomorrow. ✩ 18+ only MDNI | f!reader | word count: 2,441. you had a long day at work. rocket decides to comfort you.  no real smut (this was a failed kinktober 2023 fic) but some explicit references to sex acts. unhealthy coping mechanisms. PLEASE check main page for warnings. | anthology

November 2023

adorations. ❤︎‬❤︎‬ 18+ only | f!reader | word count: 4,518. you have a habit of complimenting rocket. he decides to give you plenty of reasons to keep doing so. aka rocket has a praise kink and no-one can convince me otherwise. mcu-based smut with feelings. see post for warnings and context.

Critical Interview Questions for Potential Crewmates ✩ | ❤︎‬❤︎ varies | f!reader | word count: 6,111 - 6,723. you take rocket on a fall-themed date. unbeknownst to you, he also has plans: specifically, to introduce you to some potential roommates. just pumpkin-spiced, apple-scented, maple-flavored FLUFF. see post for clarifying info and context. | Domestic Scenes in Space Travel.

take what you need. eat somethin. ✮ fluff | gn reader | word count: 576.

take what you need. get outta bed & get your shit done. ✮ fluff | gn reader | word count: 925. for @/caesarhamato22 ♡

take what you need. go to frickin bed already. ✮ fluff | gn reader | word count: 737.

take what you need. leave your frickin skin alone. ✮ fluff | gn reader | word count: 1,579. for nonnie! ♡

take what you need. take a damn bath. ✮ fluff | gn reader | word count: 1,375. for @/hibatasblog ♡

December 2023

frostnip. ✮ fluff | gn reader | word count: 1,880. you teach rocket about appropriate winterwear. mcu-based. | borealis: year one

snow & stars. ❤︎‬❤︎ 18+ only MDNI | f!reader | word count: 16,450. citing a lack of "team spirit," corporate requires you to attend the annual holiday office party (off the clock, of course) if you want to be eligible for your raise. luckily, the new guy makes things... interesting. | borealis: year one

take what you need. drink some goddamn water. ✮ fluff | gn reader | word count: 1,209.

take what you need. stop destroying your frickin clothes. ✮ fluff | gn reader | word count: 1,609. for nonnie!♡

take what you need. take a fuckin study break. ✮ fluff | gn reader | word count: 1,020. for like 80% of you probably ♡

traditions.✮ fluff | gn reader | word count: 3,368. every winter, rocket comes to your place to celebrate the holidays and take a nap. mcu-based. can be read romantically or platonically. just pure feel-good shit, warm as cocoa and twice as sweet. | borealis: year one

ugly sweater. ✩ suggestive! spice | gn reader | word count: 5,196. rocket might make fun of your holiday attire, but he kind of wishes you'd wear it more often. | borealis: year one

frostnip.✮ fluff | gn reader | word count: 1,880. you teach rocket about appropriate winterwear. mcu-based. | borealis: year one

snow & stars. ❤︎‬❤︎ 18+ only MDNI | f!reader | word count: 16,450. citing a lack of "team spirit," corporate requires you to attend the annual holiday office party (off the clock, of course) if you want to be eligible for your raise. luckily, the new guy makes things... interesting. | borealis: year one

Winter Across the Galaxy ✩ spice | rocket x f!oc | word count: ?? a super-casual barely-edited oneshot written in response to a reader comment, "Thinking about how Jolie would have reacted to the events in the Holiday Special and laughing." | borealis: year one | Window Across the Galaxy.

That expression is 🔥 😍🥵

Have a Rocket sketch for today friends!! I love him so much omfg!!!!! Our favorite boy!!! 🦝🦝🦝

Drawing Rocket is how I feel close to him, he’s a friend yaknow🥹 I’ve been in such a lovey mood about him lately LOL like obviously I love him every day all the time but like omgggg that’s my bestie😭😭😭 my muse😫😫😫 if I think too deeply about him I burst into tears💀 LOL

We all know Peter is the pet in that relationship.

peter was never seen alive again after this

POC need to be acknowledged!

hey black men, yall are so important and ethereal

So freakin’ sweet!

rocket raccoon prompt week ✷ day seven home ✷.⁺⋆˚₊

fluff | no use of yn | gn reader | drabble | word count: 661.

Home had been a shining city on the far horizon for most of Rocket’s formative years: distant and gleaming under an impossible blossom-blue dome. Unreachable. Untouchable. He’d left any hope of it behind, a dozen cannon-shots or more before he’d ever even stepped foot off the Arête. No. Rocket had gone straight from the cages and right into his escape pod, out into a sky that had suddenly seemed much less beautiful and much more forever. 

And so home had always been a far-away thing, a thing he could never go back to, a thing that — like love, like peace, like a restful night’s sleep or body that didn’t hurt — Rocket could simply never have. A thing that hadn’t been meant for him. Like the screws slowly grinding away at his bones or the muscle contractures he’s always fighting in his hips and chest, home had just become another old ache that he’d grown to barely notice, except when he’s on a planet where the weather is bad. 

And then, one shift — when it was just you and him — he’d been trying to work the knots out of his shoulders. You’d reached out with dancing fingers and a query on your lips — a gentle little sound of offering — and he’d gone as still as a moon pinned between two gravity wells. Your fingers had felt light as little birds, perched on his shoulders weightlessly, and you’d guided them into a rolling series of rotations. Then you’d tugged him between your knees, and kneaded every small stone you’d found lodged under his skin and fur. 

When he’d finally gone as molten and buttery as a beeswax candle on a warm day, you’d murmured another little question. He’d blinked at you blankly — completely disconnected from anything but the feel of his body, pliant for the first time in possibly his entire life — so you’d pulled him onto your lap and continued your little ministry of touch until he’d fully curled up, his tail a wreath of feathery brushes around you both. His back had pressed itself into your hands as you’d worked your thumbs into the base of his spine: freeing the tension from his hips, beckoning it out of muscle and bone, letting it dissipate into the air between your fingertips. Your hands had been so warm that even all the metal plates and bolts deep inside had suddenly felt like a part of him — had suddenly matched his own body temperature — every piece slotting together inside him with a rightness he’d never known before. The air in his lungs had turned into little pearls and gemstones, spilling up into his throat like jeweled gravel. He’d made a noise — some kind of rumble — and it had startled him until your hands had soothed over him again and you’d whispered something that had sounded like you’re just purring. 

He’d never say any of this in front of the others, never let them know about this: about how soft he is for this, for the warm quiet circle of space in your arms and on your thighs. He’d never climb into your lap like this if they could see it; never make a nest out of your body-heat and burrow into the loose thick folds of your sweatshirt. He  only does it on the shifts when everyone else is asleep, or planetside, or away. 

It’s not that he’s ashamed. It’s just — this is something special and precious and small, and if he looks at it too closely or acknowledges it exists, he may never have it back. But for now — for these moments that he can only measure in the soft wash of his breath or the thrum of his pulse in his wrists, the steady sound of your heartbeat holding him together like gravity — for now, it’s touchable, and attainable, and real — 

Moreso than any shining city on the far horizon, glimmering against the sweep of a blossom-blue ocean and a forever sky.

i did it! i brought my wordcount down! this was just a fun little exercise in writing whatever weird shit came to my mind so sorry if it makes no sense but i figured i'd indulge my inclination toward purple prose (get rekt literary critics). anyway this was fun and i am very much in favor of many future rocket raccoon prompts & prompt weeks, and thank you for creating this and bringing it to my attention, @frostedwitch ♡♡♡

i will be putting out a masterlist for this set of prompts sometime next week probably. i really hope you enjoyed reading as much as i enjoyed writing! ♡

day six. bite ✷ rocket raccoon prompt week list

taglist ♡ @evolvingchaoswitch ♡ @glow-autumz ♡ @wren-phoenix ♡ @suicidalshitstick ♡ @pretty-chips

OMFG… Ya’ll, I died. This is the sex pollen Rocket story we need in our lives!

you are cordially invited ★⋆.࿐࿔˚⋆˙‧₊ to the fifty-second bicentennial masquerade exhibit on exitar: a night of haunting & hedonism (hosted by the tivan group)

kinktober 2024 | navigation | fanfiction masterlist 18+ only | no use of y/n | f!reader | 2 parts | word count: pending. read book three ★࿐࿔ you are cordially invited now ★⋆.࿐࿔˚⋆˙‧₊

you'd do anything for enough money to care for your ailing mother — including agreeing to a night working for the collector. too bad you weren't more prepared to be part of the entertainment.

CONTEXT: au based loosely on mcu vibes. resourceful reader is also a bit of a nihilist (expression of apathy toward life/death). caretaker reader/discussion of ill parent/parent death. the collector & his friends are creepy bastards (seriously i did the elders real dirty in this one). sub reader / dom rocket. HEA of course. warning for a no-smut first chapter, too much lore, + unhinged plant-science.

★⋆.࿐࿔˚⋆˙‧₊ part one | tricks | thursday, october 31. you try to stay under the radar at your new temp job: one night in a gutted skull, serving devious eldritch monsters in masks. your only ally? a rather ominous wolf. (... well, "ally" might be a generous term...)

KINKS/WARNINGS: no smut (yet), very mild spice (slow-burn i guess?). warning for too much lore + unhinged plant-science.

★⋆.࿐࿔˚⋆˙‧₊ part two | treats | tuesday, november 5. caught in a maze of glass coffins and hunting for escape, you and your wolf stumble across some particularly lascivious pumpkins, resulting in something more-or-less akin to — well, possession.

KINKS/WARNINGS: wolf/bunny play, exhibitionism, voyeurism, sex pollen, noncon/dubcon*, public sex, edging & overstim, dacryphilia, begging, praise/degradation, light humiliation, come-eating, too many orgasms, biting/marking, aftercare. *neither rocket nor reader are necessarily the "aggressor" in this scenario, but have both been forced to ingest an aphrodisiac by a third party.

★⋆.࿐࿔˚⋆˙‧₊ excerpt below.

When you look down, you can see that all the tiny purple crystals and amethyst-prisms on your corset are flecked with orange now, too — microscopic tiny shreds of gold leaf clinging to your bodice. “What is it?” you ask, and some of it falls into your mouth. Strawberry pixy stix, you think, and your tongue darts out before you can stop it.  “Fuckin’—“ He shoots a glare at someone over your shoulder. “Little gift from the Erotist, I’d guess. Or the Gardener.” Something warm blooms in your belly — an answer to the hollow ache of want, a solution if you could just grasp it — and you try to wipe away the pollen cluttering up your lashes and lips like sugary sequins.  The Gardener chuckles. “I’m afraid neither of us can take credit for this one, my dear boy. The Virgin’s Calabash is a creation of the Epicure.” The woman in the onyx-studded violet veil to his right nods her acceptance of this fact, all fake-modesty.  “Legend says it was from the lusty wet-dreams of a thousand touch-deprived virgins,” the Erotist snickers.  “That is not true,” the Epicure utters from behind her veil, tossing back a sheet of darksilver hair and sniffing disdainfully. You try to scrape the sweetness off your tongue with your teeth. It tastes good — but anything made by an Elder can’t be, as far as you’re concerned. “How bad is it if I ingest it?” you murmur to Rocket, and his eyes flare up at you. “Bad. Don’t.” Shimmering pollen clings to his whiskers and studs his fur like drops of sunstone and citrine. “What we got on us is bad enough. What we breathed in — worse.” You shift uneasily. The cool, crisp air of the chamber suddenly feels soothing on your skin. “What—“ “Another myth says that their nectar was used to dose the high priests and priestesses of the Indigarr Sky Lords over a chiliad ago. It caused such a disruption in the governing temples that the order was completely overthrown by invading forces, which ended up occupying Indigarr for nearly six centenaries afterward.” “That one is true,” the Epicure says with a curve of her eyes that seems to indicate a sly smile.  It’s hard to focus, though, as something like a blush blooms on your skin and lingers. You stagger to your feet, trying to brush the gold from your layers of tulle. Your eyes dart to the swing of Rocket’s tail. If he hadn’t made it so clear that he had no interest in you — which you can’t really hold against him, given the circumstances — you might have complimented him on it. The fur is so thick — shiny and soft. You wonder what it would feel like if he let you stroke it. What it might feel like, skimming softly against your skin. You squeeze your eyes shut tight. It’s a weird thought to have — not that you wouldn’t have thought it on a better day. But right now, you need to focus on getting him out of here — not on how luxuriously ticklish his fur might feel on your clit— “Let’s go, then,” you murmur. Your throat feels tight, and something on your belly flutters. “Let’s get out of here—“ “Don’t gotta tell me twice,” he mutters. “I could already be through here if I wasn’t babysitting you—“ Your lips are tingling, and the wave of heat you’d felt a moment ago suddenly intensifies. Is it an allergic reaction, you wonder? Or a normal result of the pollen? You wave a hand at yourself, trying to fan off some of the pollen, trying to cool the rush of warmth in your throat. 

read book three now ★⋆.࿐࿔ kinktober 2024 | navigation | fanfiction masterlist

purple support/mdni banners by @/cafekitsune gold rose & masquerade dividers by @/sweetmelodygraphics

✩˚₊‧♡ Blackmail Material ♡‧₊˚✩

masterlist [COMPLETE]

18+ only | no use of y/n | f!reader | complete | word count: 30,591.

a classic tale of "that fuckin raccoon found your sex toy." post-endgame friends-to-lovers smut with feelings.

i am not writing off the possibility of an epilogue someday (a "one year later" scenario won't fully let go of my brain) but for now i feel like this story has been told and we can leave these two to enjoy their smutty little lives together.

Collects 3 of 3 Parts. ♡‧₊˚✩

♡‧₊˚✩ Part One: Blackmail Material [8/7] you've been hiding one - or maybe two - things from your best friend on the Bowie. unfortunately for you, now he knows. smut with feelings + fluff. sex toys, voyeurism/exhibitionism, impact play.

♡‧₊˚✩ Part Two: Self-Sufficience [8/28] rocket deals with the emotional aftermath of your night together, engages in some kinda-sad masturbation, and learns that deep down, his most-secret kink is having sex with someone who loves him. fuck. smut with feelings + fluff. angst, sexual fantasy, dirty talk, oral sex (f receiving), spanking.

♡‧₊˚✩ Part Three: Bioluminescent [10/23] rocket finally decides what he wants. you're glowingly happy to oblige. smut with lotsa feelings + fluff, dirty talk, begging, light dom/sub elements, little bit of oral, references to impact play.

if you’d like to be added to my fanfiction taglist, please comment or send me a message or ask!

Love this!

them,,,,