Https://www.out.com/celebs/2022/3/14/emma-watson-threw-shade-jk-rowling-while-presenting-baftas

What to do when you don’t feel or look beautiful? Every where around me is beautiful women and some days I look at myself and feel I don’t measure up :/

Cultivate yourself in ways that make the way you look the least interesting thing about you. Read and learn, develop hobbies, pour yourself into friendships and craft and experience. The more varied and creative and entertaining your life becomes, the less and less it matters the shapes your flesh and bone make.

Who cares if your forehead has a line or two when you fill your days exploring the landscape around you? Who cares if your stomach pooches when you've read a hundred fantasy novels that take you far away? Does the sharpness of your jaw matter when you're laughing so hard with women you love that your gut feels like it's going to split? Does your calf firmness mean anything to the vibrancy of your vegetable garden?

Then, when you don't feel beautiful, think of all the things about you that are. Your knowledge, your kindness, your place in your community.

On your deathbed, will you wish you'd spent more time on your appearance, or more time pursuing that which you love?

One of the weapons abusive parents use against children is disgust. They might make comments on your appearance, weight, physical characteristics in a way that makes you ashamed to exist. They might look at you as if you’re the most repulsive thing they’ve ever seen. They might criticize your scent, your clothes, your hair, your state of dissaray, as if it’s something you deserve to be shamed for. They might bestow disgust over your actions, or expressions of pain. It’s possible for them to act the most repulsed and grossed out by you when you’re in pain, shaking, or crying. As if you’re so awful in every single way, that no human being should ever be around you or touch you except to hurt you.

But think about it, have you ever seen a kid that was disgusting to look at or be close to? They’re kids, they’re smaller, undeveloped, inexperienced, in a body that is not even fully grown to be criticized. Only human impulse is to protect and keep safe.

So were they really disgusted? If they still want you to obey them and to give them physical affection, unlikely. They know you’re just a child and there’s nothing wrong with you. The reasons for their ‘disgust’ run deeper.

Possibly they need to convince you that your body is disgusting so you’d feel too ashamed of it and cover it up. And hide the injuries they caused to it. Possibly they need an excuse to hurt or violate a child’s body; calling it disgusting is a very pathetic and transparent victim blaming technique. It’s also possible they want to control your body via shame – disgust hurts. Seeing others look at you like you’re the plague, when you’re just a child, hurts! They want you to ask 'what can I do so you’d stop hurting me? What do I need to do to stop being disgusting to you? So you wouldn’t hate me anymore?’ and this is what they use as leverage for control. Your pain and fear of being dehumanized.

And of course, they don’t want to see expressions of pain because it’s a consequence of their actions. They want to hurt a child but never experience themselves as the perpetrator who is now guilty for a child’s vocal suffering. And they want to neglect their responsibility to comfort and calm you. To reassure you and bring you back to feeling safe. So in the midst of causing pain to their kid, being responsible for suffering, being called to de-escalate the situation and comfort their pained child, what do they do? Pretend they’re busy being disgusted. Pretend their 'disgust’ is priority over everything they’ve done to you. Use disgust to hurt you one more time. Because you being hurt twice is better than them acknowledging they hurt you.

This type of abuse can alienate you from your body. Once it’s cemented in your mind that your body, you appearance, or your pain is the actual reason you’re being so despised, you will start to despise it too. You can become disgusted with your own body, or your actions and emotions, even your pain. But none of that is right. None of that was ever the fault of your body.

You were never disgusting. Nothing about your body, or your pain, was ever wrong or repulsive or worth doing damage to you. You were always okay just as you are. Your body did nothing wrong. Your pain was only ever human. We’re all the same, our bodies are human and warm and nothing about them is worth violating or hurting. We all long for affection and acceptance just the same. Nobody is disgusting, especially not children. There was never a reason to look at you that way, or to hurt you for the projected image of disgust that was never a part of who you are. You’re meant to be free of that shame. You’re okay as you are.

i know that women are physically "inferior" to men according to male standards of physicality only, but i wish we would stop tripping over ourselves to prove that we are better than men in a lot of way. like i think it's important that we learn to appreciate our body's capabilities, but even if we were weaker than men in all ways who gives a shit? that's not an excuse to treat us like they do. lol a man irl wants to tell me he's stronger than i am, cool bro, im way fucking smarter than you tho.

a fucking horse could kill you with a single kick, what of it? a bull could crush you. a bear could maul you. you could die from a bug bite. a little infected cut. why does you being "stronger" than i am mean you are allowed to subjugate me?

it’s “kill your rapist’ when it’s a sticker you can sell on etsy but “she’s the abuser actually” when it’s real life

Fortune

Shanghai residents scream out from high-rise apartments as lockdown stretches into second week

Other viral videos coming out of the city show pets being beaten to death, parents being separated from their children, and a struggle for f

As if these past few years couldn't get more disturbing...

While they are shoving celebrity slaps and reality tv in our face, across the globe, people are screaming for a shred of freedom, and having their children snatched away from them. Is this really about "safety" at this point? What is happening to them could happen to the rest of us if we remain silent. They will create a problem, then snatch away every shred of freedom we could possibly own just to "fix" that problem. People will eventually have to create their own solutions. We know what we want. It is up to us to take it. There is strength in numbers, but a few individuals in their little high chairs have convinced us that we are lesser than. How have they done that for so long? It will come to a point where we can no longer rely on figures that would have us b*mbed in a second if it meant they could spit right back at their opponent.

These people don't want to lead. They want to destroy. The world is their playground, after all.

Andrea Dworkin complete works

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a couple years ago the eric carle museum of picture book art had an exhibit on diane & leo dillon who are responsible for so many iconic illustrations. i went back twice just to see the collection again. this is a sliver of their work— it’s hard to find high res images.

Evolving is about progress, not perfection. Evolving is also a crossroad; an urgent feeling and necessary call to transform now. As we learn from our failures and convert them into our lessons of greater fortune and future possibilities, we evolve.

We’re are here to grow and develop into our highest potential, to build in gratitude, to give more of our selves, and to raise the vibration of the world for the light beings that will come after us. If we refuse to be open to the ever-expanding Universe within and around us and all that it has in store, the unproductive patterns and lessons will repeat. We will continue to stay in the same meaningless situations, unfulfilled relationships, and limited perspectives that lock us in repetition.

There is so much more for us on the other side of ‘repeating our same patterns and routines’. What areas in your life are you being inspired to step up and evolve in or through? •SupaNovaSlom

I found this document called "The Asexual Manifesto" and thought it was interesting in how it addressed asexuality amongst women in some 1970s feminist groups:

The Asexual Manifesto (1972) was recently found by Caoimhe Harlock on Twitter.  It is available as a pdf.  I have transcribed it below for better accessibility.  The format mimics the original, except for the placement of the footnote on the first page. The Asexual Manifesto was also excerpted in Shere Hite’s book, Sexual Honesty (1974); I have separately transcribed the excerpt and noted what was left out.  Feel free to use this in any way.

--Siggy, 6/22/2019

I wrote an article explaining some of the context of the Manifesto. --Siggy, 8/9/2019

The Asexual Manifesto

Lisa Orlando, Asexual Caucus, NYRF *

* In September 1972, the Co-ordinating Council of New York Radical Feminists formed caucuses based on similarity of sexual orientation.  Each caucus was to explore its members' personal and political attitudes about their sexuality and communicate these views to the larger group.  Barbie Hunter Getz and I realized that we would not feel comfortable in any of the proposed caucuses (heterosexual, Lesbian, bisexual) and formed our own.  Out of this caucus came a paper of which the “Asexual Manifesto” is a revision.  That the paper’s plural form has been retained does not imply that all the views expressed in this final version necessarily reflect the views of both the original co-authors.

I. Origin and Definition.

Our experiences with sexuality have not been congruent with our feminist values.  As our consciousness became raised on this issue we began to see how sex had permeated our lives and the lives of others.  We categorized our relationships in terms of sex ----- either friends or lovers.  We engaged in a "sizing up" process, however subtle or subconscious, with each new person, accepting or rejecting her/him as a possible sexual partner even if we never intended to become sexually involved.  We arbitrarily rejected whole groups of people as unsuitable for intimate relationships because we assumed that such relationships, by definition, necessarily included sex.  Often we chose to spend time with people simply on the basis of their sexual availability (the “bar scene”).  As we became aware of this in ourselves, we became painfully aware of how we were being objectified by others.

Asexuality is an outgrowth of this consciousness.  It is a concept we have come to employ out of the wish to communicate ----- not merely through being but also through language ----- our struggle to rid ourselves of sexism in our personal lives.

In this paper we have used the terms “sex” and “sexual” to describe any activity one goal of which is genital excitation or orgasm.  Physical affection and sensuality (including kissing) are not, by this definition, sexual unless they are directed towards the goal of genital excitation.

We chose the term “asexual” to describe ourselves because both “celibate” and “anti-sexual” have connotations we wished to avoid: the first implies that one has sacrificed sexuality for some higher good, the second that sexuality is degrading or somehow inherently bad.  “Asexual”, as we use it, does not mean “without sex” but “relating sexually to no one”.  This does not, of course, exclude masturbation but implies that if one has sexual feelings they do not require another person for their expression.  Asexuality is, simply, self-contained sexuality.

II. Philosophy

Our philosophy of asexuality grew out of our personal ethics, which have been reshaped by our feminist consciousness.  To us, as to many other women, feminism means more than the fight against sexism.  It means "sisterhood" ----- a new way of relating, perhaps a new way of life.  Feminist morality, at this stage in history, can only be defined as antithetical to the oppressive values of our society (e.g., competition, objectification).  On a personal level, it is reflected in our beliefs that: we should attempt to relate to others in their totality as much as possible and not view them as objects existing for the gratification of our needs; we must not exploit others ----- that is, use them “unjustly or improperly” ----- nor allow ourselves to be exploited; we must not be dishonest with ourselves or those we respect.  In addition, we believe that we each have the responsibility for examining our behavior, determining how it has been affected by sexist conditioning, and changing it if it does not meet our standards.

As feminists we had decried the sexual exploitation of women by men without seeing that we too had used others “unjustly and improperly”.  Interpersonal sex is not an instinctive behavior pattern; it is behavior we have learned to use for the satisfaction of a need (for orgasm) which we can easily satisfy for ourselves.  We came to see this use of others as exploitative and realized that in allowing others to use us in this way we were acquiesing in our own exploitation.

In our attempt to be honest with ourselves, we tried to determine what our real needs are.  We saw that we have needs for affection, warmth, skin contact, which we had been taught to satisfy through interpersonal sex.  As we began to satisfy these needs in our "friendships," our need for and interest in sex diminished.  We also realized that we had a need for intimacy, a state we had always seen as "completed" by sex.  In retrospect, we realized that we, and others, had used sex as a means of self-deception, as a way of avoiding real closeness rather than achieving it.

We had struggled against our conditioning in many ways, especially in terms of roles, but we had avoided examining the basic conditioning which had shaped our sexuality.  It is difficult even to speculate on the nature of "ideal sexuality" (uninfluenced by sexism) but we are certain that it would not occupy as much of our lives as it does in this society.  We live in a culture of "fetish-worshippers" who regard sex with an extreme and irrational amount of attention.  Just as many of us were conditioned to direct our energy into the preparation of lavish meals, creating a fetish out of a simple need to avoid confrontation with the emptiness of our lives as women, so we were conditioned to seek sexual satisfaction in convoluted and circuitous ways.  Since our involvement with feminism, our lives have been increasingly meaningful and we no longer feel the need for fetishes.

In examining our experiences relative to our values, we have come to asexuality as a stand and a state of being concurrently.  Interpersonal sex is no longer important to us, no longer worth the distorted and often destructive role it has played in relationships.  It no longer defines our relationships or in any way constitutes our identities.  As asexual women, we do not (1) seek, initiate, or continue relationships in order to experience interpersonal sex, (2)use others for the satisfaction of our sexual needs or allow ourselves to be so used, (3) attempt to satisfy other needs (e.g. for affection, warmth, intimacy) through interpersonal sex, or (4) perceive others according to their potential, or lack of it, as sex partners.  In essence then, our asexuality reflects a rejection of interpersonal sex as long as it cannot meet our conditions: that it be both congruent with our values and totally incidental and unimportant to our relationship.

III Politics

Basic to the liberation of women is the destruction of sexism, one manifestation of which is the sexual exploitation of women by men.  Asexuality is a step towards achieving this goal at the personal level, as it eliminates one means by which men oppress us.  Through our asexuality, we have excluded sex as a goal and, essentially, even as a possibility in any relationships we may happen to have with men.

Because of the patriarchal culture which has resulted from institutionalized sexism, the exploitative behavior, standard in such a culture, has made it extremely difficult for women to realize their own independent, more humane style of relating.  Most women consequently reflect, in their relationships with each other, some of the exploitative behavior patterns characteristic of our male oppressors.  One area where the oppression of women by women may occur is, again, the sexual; this oppression too must end before we can be truly free. Through asexuality, we have rejected sex as a goal in our relationships with women, thus avoiding the sexual objectification, exploitation, and oppression of our sisters.  Here too, we reject any possibility of sex unless our conditions are met, and we thereby prevent ourselves from being sexually exploited and oppressed.

To destroy a particular culture’s basic myths is to undermine its very foundations.  Patriarchal culture, based as it is on sex differentiation, has constructed some of its strongest myths around sexuality.  We believe it is of prime importance that feminism direct itself to the exposure and destruction of the current patriarchal mythology which, through deception, reinforces our oppression.  Those myths most responsible for the distorted role sex plays in women's lives are:

Interpersonal sex is essential since the sex drive is a powerful force in human life and, if unsatisfied (through interpersonal sex), tends to produce unhappiness or possibly illness,

It is important that any sexual excitation always and/or immediately be satisfied,

Sex is essential for closeness in a relationship, no relationship being complete without it,

The ultimate closeness in a relationship occurs during sex and/or orgasm,

The needs for physical affection and sex are basically the same,

It is almost impossible satisfactorily to express affection physically without sexual excitation also occurring,

Women who have little interest in interpersonal sex, or who rarely if ever reach orgasm, are somehow inadequate.

While all these myths may not be credible to all women, some women believe some of them some of the time.

Finally, we see a conflict between, on the one hand, the time and energy necessary to our struggle as feminists, and, on the other hand, the time and energy necessary to develop and maintain relationships in which sex is a goal.  If we would use our energy efficiently, a choice seems indicated: to struggle against sexism or to struggle for satisfactory sex.  Although it may be said that to turn one’s back on a problem is not to solve it, we think the truth of this statement is relative to the importance one places on the problem.  If we saw interpersonal sex as important, asexuality would be a cop-out; since we do not, it is instead a means of withdrawing our energy from an area in which we feel it is being wasted.  

We see asexuality as an efficient "alternative life-style" for revolutionary women but we do not claim that “asexuality is revolution.”  We call ourselves “self-identified women” but we do not demand that all feminists adopt this title.  Our statement is simply this: as a result of examining the nature of our sexuality and reclaiming it from the sexist misconceptions surrounding it, we are able to form and maintain relationships in a way which both reflects our values and is effective in our liberation struggle.  For us, asexuality is a committment to defy and ultimately to destroy the baseless concepts, surrounding both sex and relationships, which support and perpetuate the patriarchy.