Tma AU Where The Distortion Staunchly Refuses To Feed Off 12 Year Olds Because Every Time A 12 Year Old

My favorite ultra-specific character type is "this fucked up little man clearly just needs a consensual BDSM relationship and some therapy and he'd be fine, but that is very much not what happens in this story."

'there are no real men anymore. men nowadays are all too feminine, they even look and act like women' where are all these feminine men. where. can you pinpoint them on a map for me. please. can you direct me to them. im begging you. please. please please please pl

one(ish) sentence summaries of every magnus archive episode PART 3 (111-154)

HELLO FRIENDS In honor of one of my friends starting tma i am posting the rest of what i have for this series

I'm going to be honest, i wrote all of these like a year and a half ago so i don't even remember if all of them are as accurate as i thought they were at the time so tell me what u guys think ( ALSO IM SORRY IT TOOK ME SO LONG TO POST THESE)

if you guys want more i can be convinced to relisten to the series and finish this and also send me asks i love getting asks

------------------------------------------------------------

111. god fuck he just wanted his friends to call him gerry

112. guys I have a great idea for a game it’s called murder tag and there are no downsides I promise

113. sweet dreams goodnight don’t let the carbon monoxide poisoning bite

114. cleaning lady takes a trip to mandela effect land

115. ship cook discovers an infinite meat glitch!

116. oh god the unknowing ritual is fnaf security breach

117. alright guys it’s time to prepare for clown time let’s do a roll call

118. martin burns some stuff and gets traumatized while Jon and the homies are sneaking through an interactive wax museum.

119. ah fuck it’s clown time

120. omg! you were in the archivist’s dream last night! so cool!!

121. dude I’d KILL for a good night’s sleep

122. the worst person you know tells you about their "new philosophical theory" for 24 minutes

123. man is scammed into being the helpless mod for murder reddit

124. old man ruins our austrian mountain trip with impromptu skydiving

125. bagpipe music makes an entire town do a The Purge (2013)

126. man is so shit at sculpting that it literally makes four people loose their minds

127. hey guys… eye am not feeling so well…

128. skinwalker delivery man mourns the loss of his skinwalker delivery husband

129. we needed this rain

130. HOT SINGLES IN YOUR AREA WILL FILL YOUR HOLE WITH MEAT

131. I get the guy who turns peoples’ bones to turn my bones and also tell me the story of how he started turning peoples’ bones

132. MAN OPENS COFFIN. WE ARE VERY WORRIED FOR HIM.

133. My son’s weird boyfriend is a little too invested in my treasure hunt.

134. journalist takes a short and awful trip to dystopia land and it gives both her and adelard decker an existential crisis .

135. let me tell you about our lord and savior: shadow jesus.

136. my boss does a reverse pinocchio.

137. I am saved from the real horrors of war by spooky ghost horrors of war.

138. my dear jonah, it seems my years of fucking around have finally caught up to me, and I am nearing the time in which I will find out.

139. Local cult cooks up an antichrist and then deals with the terrible consequence: parenthood.

140. 17th century homoerotic rivalry between an astronomer and shadow jesus

141. our captain got depressed and then made us all steal a camera

142. hey sorry your archivist got addicted to eating trauma. yeah he’s just watching people on the street now. yeah he’s pulling statements from them like teeth. yeah he’s been showing up in my dreams and he is all eyes.

143. we KILL this evil orb using the power of looking at it too closely

144. math podcast makes man foresee the end of the world

145. gertrude drops the hardest diss track of the century on the desolation / part 2 of local cult’s adventures in parenthood

146. man is stalked by a sneaky door.

147. the archives is stalked by a sneaky spider lady.

148. Security camera guy loves his job so much that he becomes a security camera.

149. weird trash art in the Amazon rainforest bites researcher

150. HOMOPHOBIC SUBURBAN HOUSES

151. have you ever played aquarium tycoon

152. let me introduce you to the world of recreational dirt naps ( I am not asking )

153. evil worm polycule

154. i quit my job and my hot goth wife kills me.

Part 1 | Part 2

as im rereading crime and punishment one of the things that makes me remember why i love this book so much is that it takes the whole "brooding male character is too intelligent for the surrounding laymen, his lack of empathy makes him more masculine, he is above the average person" male fantasy and flips it on its head. raskolnikov wants to believe he's all of these things. he wants to believe that he's already so detached from society that he's above it and beyond saving. that he's already a bad guy, that it's just a burden he'll have to bear, and that if he's gonna alienate himself he might as well play the part of the monster. he might as well commit murder (both to prove that he can do it, and to lift himself and potentially others from financial hardship) because he knows he can put himself into a logical mindset since he believes he's so good at turning off his emotions. he won't feel any guilt or compassion, right? he's a step above human, right? so he must be the perfect sacrificial lamb to bear the burden of murder.

but he's not. and the book is just him constantly betraying himself. he wants so badly to believe that he's capable of cold-blooded premeditated murder, and that he's capable of putting his humanity aside for the "greater good." he swings between considering himself a sort of superman for his ability to commit murder, and considering himself scum of the earth for even thinking of such a thing. he never just considers himself human. but the problem is that he is human, and he's a lot better of a person than he wants to admit. he's absolutely full of contradictions. in the same breath as cursing himself for being crushingly poor, he gives away his remaining money to children in need--despite it logically putting him in a worse financial situation. within the same hour he kills an old woman with an axe, after he nearly gets home, his first instinct is to go out of his way to return the axe to the worker he borrowed it from, cleaned up and in the same position he found it--despite him acknowledging that returning it was much riskier than just getting rid of the axe somewhere else.

raskolnikov paradoxically wants to commit the perfect crime, and get recognition for it. but as soon as it's recognized, he's no longer gotten away with it. with recognition comes confession, and with confession comes the realization that he's just not the guy he thought he was. he's not some ultra cunning, heartless, cold-blooded mastermind. he's not the napoleonic figure he admired. he's not a cardboard cutout of solid logic and reason 100% of the time. he physically falls ill from his own mental battle ffs. no matter how much he plans the murder, he still panics. no matter how much he tiptoes around conversations after the murder, he still feels guilt. no matter how much he isolates himself from his friends and family for the sake of self-crucifixion, he still allows himself to be fed soup by them, one spoonful at a time, while they gently blow on it so that he does not burn himself.

he's driven by emotion just as much as logic. the biggest problem with raskolnikov is that his humanity far exceeds his own expectations. and learning that redemption is possible is scary, because it means learning humility and taking accountability for oneself. having something to live for and improve toward is as much of a heavy nuisance as it is an honorable goal. only a person with some amount of goodness can recognize that and still choose to undertake that task, regardless of how logically inconvenient it is. and raskolnikov is, unfortunately, a much better person than he thought.

Helmut Lang Spring/Summer 2000, backstage photo by Juergen Teller

Source details and larger version.

My collection of vintage fish imagery is swimming along.

tendres esclaves - robert chouraqui (1990)

OK correct me if I'm wrong, but I feel like the main 'yin/yang' parallel with Atsushi and Akutagawa is not something like 'this one is bad but secretly has a good side and this one is good but secretly has a bad side'.

I feel like it's more about 'who they are at their core vs who they choose to be'.

At his core Akutagawa is kind and at his core Atsushi is not. But despite this Atsushi tries every day to make the kinder choices and I love him so much for it. He has to work so hard to be good.

He wants to be a bitch SO bad I know he does but he tries his best to help people and be nice (sometimes he fails but that's OK <3)

Atsushi doesn't always WANT to help people, a lot of the time he's selfish and scared, but he does help people anyway. He keeps helping people over and over again. There's still some selfish motivation to it, and his initial motivation for helping people was because the headmaster told him that's all he was worth, but overall he does care about the people he helps and it weighs on him if he fails to save them. And of course, as the series goes on he starts helping people more because he can rather than because he feels like he needs to.

In Akutagawa's case, he's still capable of being kind but his environment led him into being someone who chooses to hurt people. But he's always been a protector at heart. In the start he was bad compared to Atsushi because he was choosing to hurt people and keep the cycle of abuse going. Just like how Atsushi developed in why he saved people, Akutagawa starts to get redeemed when he chooses to not just act on his rage. Not only does he start to spare people, but he speaks more kindly to them (apologising to Higuchi and telling Kyouka he's proud of her). It all culminates into the moment he chooses to help Atsushi and sacrifice himself for him, going back to his core value of being a protector. Even when he's finally revived, he keeps this role in his new position as Aya's Knight.

I kind of see the streaks of white in Akutagawa and the streaks of black in Atsushi not as their 'hidden sides' but as their fundamental selfs. That's who they are at their core, and their main colours (black for Akutagawa and white for Atsushi) are how they're presented to everyone else and how they try to have people see them as.

Young people in Amsterdam at the Monument on Dam Square (1973). Photo by Bert Verhoeff.