Tendres Esclaves - Robert Chouraqui (1990)

Gil Prates Rio de Janeiro, 1980

Source details and larger version.

My collection of vintage fish imagery is swimming along.

This piece was a commission + so much fun to make

Ko-fi

flat colour illustration (mixed media)

Commission available on Ko-fi.com

Liz Maw - Abattoir Ruins (Tokomaru Bay), 2023 [Oil on board, framed]

was scrolling through the "the mechanisms was Jon Archivist's college band" tags on ao3 and misread "martin finds out Jon is the lead singer of his favorite band" as Melanie, and i honestly think that would be a hundred times funnier. imagine your eldritch boss who you fucking hate but sounds vaguely familiar asks what you're listening to one day out of awkward obligation to make British Small Talk and you roll your eyes and tell him he probably doesn't know them and then you drop their name and he goes very still and flushes and suddenly Jonny D'Ville is speaking in your airpods and you're looking at your boss (who again, you fucking hate) and your world crashes and burns

Helmut Lang Spring/Summer 2000, backstage photo by Juergen Teller

OK correct me if I'm wrong, but I feel like the main 'yin/yang' parallel with Atsushi and Akutagawa is not something like 'this one is bad but secretly has a good side and this one is good but secretly has a bad side'.

I feel like it's more about 'who they are at their core vs who they choose to be'.

At his core Akutagawa is kind and at his core Atsushi is not. But despite this Atsushi tries every day to make the kinder choices and I love him so much for it. He has to work so hard to be good.

He wants to be a bitch SO bad I know he does but he tries his best to help people and be nice (sometimes he fails but that's OK <3)

Atsushi doesn't always WANT to help people, a lot of the time he's selfish and scared, but he does help people anyway. He keeps helping people over and over again. There's still some selfish motivation to it, and his initial motivation for helping people was because the headmaster told him that's all he was worth, but overall he does care about the people he helps and it weighs on him if he fails to save them. And of course, as the series goes on he starts helping people more because he can rather than because he feels like he needs to.

In Akutagawa's case, he's still capable of being kind but his environment led him into being someone who chooses to hurt people. But he's always been a protector at heart. In the start he was bad compared to Atsushi because he was choosing to hurt people and keep the cycle of abuse going. Just like how Atsushi developed in why he saved people, Akutagawa starts to get redeemed when he chooses to not just act on his rage. Not only does he start to spare people, but he speaks more kindly to them (apologising to Higuchi and telling Kyouka he's proud of her). It all culminates into the moment he chooses to help Atsushi and sacrifice himself for him, going back to his core value of being a protector. Even when he's finally revived, he keeps this role in his new position as Aya's Knight.

I kind of see the streaks of white in Akutagawa and the streaks of black in Atsushi not as their 'hidden sides' but as their fundamental selfs. That's who they are at their core, and their main colours (black for Akutagawa and white for Atsushi) are how they're presented to everyone else and how they try to have people see them as.

Thinking back to the time I was about halfway through TMA and was explaining the plot to a friend who has never listened to a single episode and they tried to make one of those "Soup was invented by John Soup when he wanted to drink a chicken" jokes and ended up saying something along the lines of "The Magnus Institute was created by John Magnus when he wanted to make an institute for all the fears" and at the time I was like haha good one bro but in hindsight I think I need to fucking throngle them with my bare hands