i love fics that write The Distortion genuinely not knowing How to Human and getting something egregiously incorrect.
i don't mean appearance-wise, i mean silly mistakes. trying to wipe up a spill with printer paper because it misunderstood what a paper towel is. calling an animal by the wrong name.
describing emotions in a door/hallway metaphor. ("hallway full of bees" sorry, did you mean butterflies? distortion, you are experiencing butterflies.)
it was literally a door it doesn't know this shit!
i think it has some memories attached to "who" it is, thus why it can tell michael shelley's story, but little details like this? the nuance of the human experience? lost on it. too busy hating being even remotely like a who to stop and attempt to model after them properly.
this makes it mildly offputting and that's the goal so it's content <3
also @ distortion shippers this entity does not know how to kiss. gerry/jon/melanie/whoever else is gonna have to teach it how because it will just stand there, eyes open and everything, being a door.
tma is a show which spends the first 100 episodes going "look at these monsters. aren't they fucked up. yeah and they're all so happy being monsters who hurt people monstrously" and then the protagonist who you've spent hours listening to at this point becomes one of those fucked up monsters, forcing you to either dismiss him as evil or you have to fully change how you view all the previous monsters. and then they spend the next 100 episodes dealing with that
aspiring teenage slaughter avatar writing self insert fanfiction about getting sold to grifter’s bone
ok au where after becoming archivist jon starts getting into the habit of making vent tiktoks in his car after work because tim showed him how and at first he was like “this is stupid” but then it genuinely started helping him decompress so he just kept doing it in secret. and he eventually he gains a minor following who are becoming increasingly concerned because it goes from “the most INSUFFERABLE statement giver came in today” to “i got fucking KIDNAPPED AGAIN!!!”