░  ┊   @hcathens​   。• ◞

░  ┊   @hcathens​   。• ◞

    for  once ,    he  appreciates  the  floor  under  his  weight;   legs  stretched  yet  body  unresponsive  to  whatever  the  mind  attempts  setting  on …    what ,   with  shoulders  hunched  and  arms  laying  low ,   his  hands  resting  in  the  gap  between  his  lower  limbs.    the  only  reason  that  neil  is  becoming  aware  of  his  limitations  is  when  numbness  begins  to  settle  along  with  slight  tremors  that  he  can  feel  in  his  fingers. 

    the  way  that  a  thousands’  worth  of  exy  racquet  slipping  through  his  grip  during  the  recent  drill  several  minutes  ago  is  a  tall  tell.  

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                                          ‟     I’m  trying.     ❜          voice  strained ,   holding  back  frustrations  veiled  in  the  exhaustion  creeping  in  his  system ,   and  avoiding  having  another  tiring  same  old  arguments  with  kevin.    of  course  there’s  no  time  for  neil  to  sit  on  his  ass  because  the  games  aren’t  going  to  win  by  themselves;   but  ——                    ‟     You  don’t  need  to  remind  me  about  the  nooses  around  our  necks.     ❜

    it  hurts …    but  nothing  worse  that  he  hasn’t  survived  before.    the  anger  dissipates  under  the  silent  acceptance  and  grumbling  under  his  breath ,    annoyed  that  as  when  he  stands  up ,    the  redhead  has  to  hold  onto  his  knees  for  a  while  before  straightening  up.    wincing  slightly ,   frowning  greatly  at  the  disappointment  he  received  when  he  moves  his  right  shoulder  in  a  circular  motion.    testing ,   testing.

                                         ‟     …Let’s go.     ❜ 

his body was made of adrenaline.  

exy was everything that moved kevin since he could remember, that feeling of overcoming the exhaustion was something he was used to. he long learned to ignore his body’s pleas to stop moving in favor of playing, practicing even further. that’s why he was one of the best exy players alive.  that’s why he was the best exy player alive. 

even then, with his racket down while he talked scolded to neil, kevin couldn’t stop moving. body screaming as he moved from one foot to another, small little jumps to keep his body going against it’s own will. kevin never knew when to stop.  all he knew was exy and that didn’t change just because going back to the ravens weren’t a threat anymore.  

he was still playing for his life, afterall …  and so was neil, that’s why kevin pushed him.

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accessing his friend’s exhaustion, kevin sighed, stepping back as the younger man followed his order and got up.   —  ❛ two more sets with this drill and we can call it a day ❜  —  grimace twisted kevin’s features with discontent, but he knew better than to push to hard and end up with an hurt neil, out of the games for the rest of the season.  that was a privilege they both didn’t have. 

he changed the racket to his right hand, rolling his left shoulder and frown a little enraged by the fact that he still couldn’t over-work his dominant hand – that he was still afraid of doing it. but it was useful to have that little bit of surprise in the games, being able to hold the exy racket either way.  —  ❛ you’re fast and your shots are getting stronger each day,  but you still lack precision. we need to work on that before the next game ❜  —

          fingers  flex  as  if  playing  symphony  of  aching  knuckles  and  calloused  palms,  testing  smaller  tendons  in  between.   left  hand  holds  pressure  down  on  affected  right  shoulder,  thumb  forcing  abused  muscle  not  to  flare  up  in  similar  to  what  heat  he  feels  all  over  ――   nerve  wires  under  the  pump,  fire  running  through  veins ...

                                                                     𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘣𝘰𝘥𝘺 𝘪𝘴 𝘢 𝘱𝘳𝘰𝘥𝘶𝘤𝘵 𝘰𝘧 𝘴𝘶𝘳𝘷𝘪𝘷𝘢𝘭.

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                    ‟     𝗡𝗼𝘁 𝗴𝗼𝗼𝗱 𝗲𝗻𝗼𝘂𝗴𝗵, 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗺𝗲𝗮𝗻.     ❜      diced  words  for  kevin’s  convenience  while  neil  picks  up  his  racquet  without  bending  too  much;  else,  there  is  fear  that  he’ll  just  collapse  there  and  then  and  be  damned  with  the  consequences.    didn’t  bother  to  look  up  to  kevin  as  he  shifts  his  attention  to  the  hand-chosen  equipment  picked  by  the  exy  legend  himself;   more  so  the  reason  neil  can’t  really  give  up  now.  he  did ,   after  all ,   𝘥𝘪𝘨  𝘩𝘪𝘴  𝘰𝘸𝘯  𝘨𝘳𝘢𝘷𝘦  𝘵𝘩𝘦  𝘮𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘯𝘵  𝘩𝘦  𝘴𝘵𝘰𝘱𝘱𝘦𝘥  𝘣𝘦𝘪𝘯𝘨  𝘢  𝘳𝘢𝘣𝘣𝘪𝘵.  

         now  holding  racquet  with  two  hands,  neil  decides  to  shift  the  topic  away  from  things  they  never  really  talk  upon ...    just  like  how  he  looked  so  much  like  death  incarnate  and  how  he  smelled  of  it  and  kevin  never  noticed  from  the  start  until  shit  happened;   and  now,   they’re  here.                    ‟     𝗪𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗜 𝗹𝗮𝗰𝗸 𝗶𝗻 𝘀𝘁𝗿𝗲𝗻𝗴𝘁𝗵, 𝗜 𝗺𝗮𝗸𝗲 𝘂𝗽 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝘀𝗽𝗲𝗲𝗱.  𝗔𝗻𝘆 𝗼𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗿 𝘄𝗮𝘆 𝗜 𝗰𝗮𝗻 𝗶𝗺𝗽𝗿𝗼𝘃𝗲 𝗮𝗻𝘆𝘁𝗵𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗲𝗹𝘀𝗲 𝗯𝗲𝘀𝗶𝗱𝗲𝘀 𝗳𝗿𝗼𝗺 𝘁𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗮𝗶𝗺  ?     ❜

More Posts from Jozthen and Others

4 years ago
                  𝐆𝐑𝐀𝐍𝐓 𝐌𝐄 𝐘𝐎𝐔𝐑 𝐅𝐔𝐑𝐘, 𝐒𝐎
                  𝐆𝐑𝐀𝐍𝐓 𝐌𝐄 𝐘𝐎𝐔𝐑 𝐅𝐔𝐑𝐘, 𝐒𝐎
                  𝐆𝐑𝐀𝐍𝐓 𝐌𝐄 𝐘𝐎𝐔𝐑 𝐅𝐔𝐑𝐘, 𝐒𝐎
                  𝐆𝐑𝐀𝐍𝐓 𝐌𝐄 𝐘𝐎𝐔𝐑 𝐅𝐔𝐑𝐘, 𝐒𝐎

                  𝐆𝐑𝐀𝐍𝐓 𝐌𝐄 𝐘𝐎𝐔𝐑 𝐅𝐔𝐑𝐘, 𝐒𝐎 𝐈 𝐂𝐀𝐍 𝐑𝐄𝐌𝐈𝐍𝐃 𝐌𝐘 𝐄𝐍𝐄𝐌𝐈𝐄𝐒 𝐈 𝐀𝐌 𝐍𝐎𝐓 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐖𝐄𝐀𝐊𝐍𝐄𝐒𝐒 𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐘 𝐏𝐄𝐑𝐂𝐄𝐈𝐕𝐄. 𝐈 𝐀𝐌 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐖𝐀𝐑.   we are the blood of the witches you thought were dead. we carry witchcraft in our bones whilst magic still sings inside our heads. when the witch hunters imprisoned out ancestors, when they tried to burn the magic away. someone should have warned them that magic cannot be tamed. because you cannot burn away what has always been aflame.

independent, highly selective, mutuals only original character. 𝑺𝑪𝑨𝑹𝑳𝑬𝑻𝑻 𝑳𝒀𝑺𝑺𝑨𝑵𝑫𝑬𝑹, alias 𝑯𝑬𝑪𝑨𝑻𝑬 loved && adored by aria


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4 years ago

░  ┊   @rexquondcm​  。• ◞ 

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𝐇𝐎𝐌𝐄 𝐇𝐀𝐒 𝐋𝐎𝐍𝐆 𝐁𝐄𝐂𝐎𝐌𝐄 𝐀𝐍 𝐔𝐍𝐅𝐀𝐌𝐈𝐋𝐈𝐀𝐑 𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐂𝐄𝐏𝐓, staying in a single place for too long a luxury he no longer possesses ; as acquainted with the plated steel & polished glass of airport terminals as with the grime smeared tarmac of inner London. Nostalgia thick on his tongue, analogous to the taste of ash.   ❛ Honestly ? I’m not sure nice is the word I would use. ❜   He glances up then, eyes dappled shades of cornflower.  ❛ Perhaps taxing might be a more accurate description. ❜

    accent  reminiscent  flashes  back  such  visits  to  england,   back  when    nathaniel    has  been  taken  by  his  mother  to  pay  courtesy  with  her  side  of  the  family  for  a  couple  of  times.   weeks  before  they  come  back  to  baltimore  until  now,   he  can’t  fully  trust  the  memories  of  what  he  can’t  entirely  remember;   so  he  might  as  well  discard  them.    as  far  as  he  knows,    he  hasn’t  officially  met  uncle  stuart  and  that  side  of  the  family ...   and  he  hopes  not  to.

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                                    ‟     Ah,   considering the long travel by connecting flights ...     ❜          oliver  would  know  after  first  class  tickets  doesn’t  serve  him  anymore.    the  conversation  is  a  polite  one,  as  an  alternative  to  what  oliver  usually  does  in  forced  silence   ——  scrape  nails,  dig  within  flesh,  have  to  hear  loops  of  voices  he’d  rather  not  entertain.    talking  helps  distract  from  the  pain,  and  helps  find  out  something  regarding  the  newcomer,  who  has  given  oliver  relief  since  he’s  not  the  one  in  the  spotlight  anymore.          ‟     No wonder.   How you can take everything in one stride ...  despite the excessive noises and treatment.    I suppose it’s not nice of an experience as well ... ?     ❜


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4 years ago

░  ┊   @scarfwere​​  。• ◞ 

a good friend. When did he last have one? Matt? He guessed, if he ever counted as one. A small tentative smile. A faint tilt of his head and he catches wind of the good breeze before it finds him. Him still unsure even when it comes. 

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Eventually, it breaks out into a grin. A small one. Not large enough that it takes all over his face but good enough to make a dent. He almost turns around to double check ; make sure his Father wasn’t around to ruin it. But a surreptitious glance over his shoulder confirms what he felt in the moment : relief. 

           “ so ── we’re still friends? “ 

    people  like  him,  his  mother  and  he,   don’t  have  friends.   by  definition,   a   ‘ friend ’   is  one  of  her  connections  forging  high-quality  documents  for  them  to  pass  through  airports  or  one  of  those  old  ones  who  are  now  chasing  them  to  the  ends  of  the  earth.    stefan  hears  it  coined  a  lot  around  as  he  gets  by  and  wonders  how  easily  the  term  draws  such  warm  expression  on  isaac’s  face.    as  if  stefan  wouldn’t  be  gone  after  a  few  months’  time  and  wouldn’t  be  forgotten ...   just  like  the  rest  of  his  other  selves.

                                    ‟     Can’t  really  stop  you  from  doing  whatever  you  want.    ❜      the  raven-haired  boy  shrugs,   as  indifference  lace  with  a  piss  poor  excuse  that  he  can  fall  back  onto,   a  reason  why  he  allowed  whatever  this  is  to  happen.   at  the  end  of  the  day,   stefan  will  still  be  put  down  and  with  him,   are  memories  of  a  mediocre,  normal  boy’s  life.    as  much  as  stefan  can  already  feel  the  ire  of  his  mother  once  she  finds  out  and  when  she  does,   the  pounding  within  his  chest  covered  by  nonchalance  overlapped  the  threat  of  her  wrath  and  even  if  he  doesn’t  understand  why  isaac  seemed   cautious   despite  his  insistence  on  keeping  a  connection  with  stefan,   he  doesn’t  bother  poking  into  it. 

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                                  ‟     Usually,   everyone doesn’t see the point of entertaining new kids for far too long;   they come and go and fade away within a week.   What’s up with you ?    You seem hell-bent into ...   whatever you’re up to.     ❜       if  stefan  also  sports    NATHANIEL’s    similar  bluntness  and  lack  of  effort  to  understand  social  cues,    he  also  doesn’t  bother  thinking  much  about  it.


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6 years ago
Congratulations On The Quote Of The Year, Madej.

Congratulations on the quote of the year, Madej.


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4 years ago
Perth  Is  Experiencing  A  Once  In  A  Decade  Storm  This  Sunday  Til  Tomorrow  So 

perth  is  experiencing  a  once  in  a  decade  storm  this  sunday  til  tomorrow  so  i  just  slept  since  i  still  have  upset  stomach.   anyway,   time  to  write  stuff  here.


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4 years ago
So,   i’m  Required  To  Work  Full  Time  Starting  This  Week  19.04.2020  Until  I 

so,   i’m  required  to  work  full  time  starting  this  week  19.04.2020  until  i  don’t  know  when  and  which  is  why  i  am  clarifying  that  i  am  always  of  low  &  sporadic  activity.   as  usual,  replies  and  ask  responses  will  be  queued,  and  you  can  still  dm  me  here  though  i’m  more  active  at  discord  (just ask me).   additionally,  matt  is  active  in  wire  @mattmrdck_  so  come  talk  to  him  there  in  real  time  (if  i’m  not  passing  out  lmao).    thank  you  for  being  understanding  and  awesome  in  these  difficult  times.


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4 years ago
𝗗𝗔𝗥𝗞 𝗖𝗢𝗥𝗘 𝗣𝗘𝗥𝗦𝗢𝗡𝗔𝗟𝗜𝗧𝗬 𝗧𝗘𝗦𝗧. Tagged 

𝗗𝗔𝗥𝗞 𝗖𝗢𝗥𝗘 𝗣𝗘𝗥𝗦𝗢𝗡𝗔𝗟𝗜𝗧𝗬 𝗧𝗘𝗦𝗧. tagged  by  :  @russianllterature tagging :    @scarfwere  /  @hcathens  /  @hneul  /  @im-possiblelimits  /  @nancydrcw  /  @nosestealer

( 90% ) EGOISM — Excessive concern with one’s own pleasure or advantage at the expense of community well-being.

( 37% ) MACHIAVELLIANISM — Manipulativeness, callous affect, and a strategic, calculating orientation.

( 47% ) MORAL DISENGAGEMENT — A generalized cognitive orientation that differentiates one’s thinking towards unethical behavior.

( 0% ) NARCISSISM — An all-consuming drive towards ego-reinforcement and an egotistical interest in, or admiration of, one’s self.

( 30% ) ENTITLEMENT — A stable and pervasive sense that one deserves and is entitled to more than others.

( 27% ) PSYCHOPATHY — Deficits in affect and self-control (i.e. callousness and impulsivity), as well as a lack of remorse, antisocial behavior, and volatility.

( 33% ) SADISM — A tendency to humiliate others via cruel or demeaning behavior, or the propensity to intentionally inflict physical, sexual, or psychological pain on others in order to assert power or for pleasure and enjoyment.

( 0% ) SELF-INTEREST — The unprincipled pursuit of gains in socially valued domains, such as material goods, social status, recognition, achievement, and success.

( 37% ) SPITEFULNESS — A tendency to engage in behavior that would harm others but would also entail harm to oneself.

( 33% ) TOTAL DARK CORE — Your total Dark Core factor. Higher scores indicate a darker personality.

this  makes  NEIL JOSTEN  13.89%   lighter   than  the  average  person.


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4 years ago
One Liners  Placed  Within  Canon  Timeline,  or  Will  Vary  Depending  From  Which  Verse 

one liners  placed  within  canon  timeline,  or  will  vary  depending  from  which  verse  your  muse  stands.   ( no  worries,   we’ll  work  out  the  small  details  like  verse  info,  etc.  right  after  i  dive  in  your  dms  or  raid  your  askbox. )   

                                                                                 *  NO  CAPS  !!


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4 years ago

STUFF   I’VE   SAID   TO   MY   BABY   BROTHER  .

“   i   love   yooooouuuu  !   ” “   …   say   it   back  .   don’t   do   me   like   this   ” “   i   am   the   backbone   of   your   entire   childhood   ” “   on   all   levels   except   legal ,   i’m   basically   your   mom   /   dad  .   ” “   what   movie   do   you   want   on  ?   ” “   this   is   my   shitty   microwave   meal  .   get   your   own  .   ” “   say   ‘aaaahhhh  .  ’   ” “   you’re   so   cuuuuuute  !   ” “   who’s   the   best   boy   /   girl   in   the   world  ?   you   are  !   ” “   where’s   my   kiss  ?   ” “   wow  .   don’t   act   like   you’re   too   good   for   me   in   front   of   your   little   baby   friends   ” “   what   do   you   want   to   watch  ?   or   can   i   just   slap   on ,   like ,   any   cartoon   and   you’ll   be   good  ?   ” “   i   love   your   cap  .   you’re   such   a   cool   little   dude ,   aren’t   you  ?   ” “   say   thank   you  .   ” “   say   please  !   ” “   how   am   i   literally   the   only   good   role   model   in   your   life  ?   how   does   that   work   out  ?   i’m   a   garbage   fire   train   wreck   doing   her   best  .   ” “   who   taught   you   that   word  ??   ” “   don’t   say   that   word  !!   ” “   [   name   ]    acts   like   i   won’t   throat   kick   her   for   teaching   you   swears ,   and   it’s   just   really   bold   of   her   to   assume   i   lack   that   capability  .   ” “   venting   to   a   kid   is   great ,   because   you   have   literally   no   memory   span   until   you’re   four  .   you’re   like   a   diary   that   sometimes   smiles   and   laughs   and   like ,   cleanses   my   whole   soul   while   i   bitch  .   ” “   what   do   you   mean   no  ??   ” “   oh   my   god ,   you   learned   why  .   never   ask   me   why ,   ____ .   me   and   my   three   brain   cells   don’t   have   the   answers   you’re   after  .   ” “   you’re   my   favourite   little   brat  .   ” “   you’re   just   baby  …   ”


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𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘢 𝘵𝘩𝘰𝘶𝘴𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘭𝘪𝘦𝘴 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘢 𝘨𝘰𝘰𝘥 𝘥𝘪𝘴𝘨𝘶𝘪𝘴𝘦,

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