Latest Posts by kiminis - Page 10

officially convince I want a cat

enha-pet — yang jungwon 양정원

masterlist

∘⁠˚⁠˳⁠° *⁠ .⁠ ✧｡⁠ *ﾟ⁠+ ✧⁠* ♪ ｡⁠*⁠ ♡ ∘˚⁠˳⁠° *⁠ .⁠ ✧⁠* ♪ ｡⁠*⁠ ♡ ∘⁠˚⁠˳⁠°.⁠ ✧｡⁠ *ﾟ⁠

“yang jungwon as your white ragdoll cat hybrid.”

usually a pretty calm and well behaved cat

except when it's 3 in the morning and he has too much energy left

ZOOMIES

when he had zoomies, he would run all around the room, jumping from your wardrobe to your desk then playing with anything he could find

your sofa? scratched. your phone charger? chewed. your coffee? spilled.

and you'll never be physically mad at him. no.

especially every time he looks at you with his round shiny eyes

once he accidentally broke your favorite mug

and he was so shocked, he stood there staring at the broken pieces for minutes until you called his name because it's getting too quiet suddenly???

frantically tried to hide the evidence but cut his finger by accident and became way much more panicked when he saw blood dripping on your carpet

and you saw him

bleeding

AND THEN YOU FREAKING OUT AND HE GOT WAY MORE FRANTIC

after taking care of him he would feel guilty, you could feel he was almost cry

loves to purr on your shoulder

like when you hug him, and he would rest his head on your shoulder and starts to purr

“you're warm.”

also he is very sensitive with your scent

other than your perfume or clothes detergents, he would notice the scent of places or foods that lingers on you

“did you go home by train?” “oh, did you go to that cafe again?” “isn't this like your third cheesecake today? how would i know? your smell.”

WOULD GET JEALOUS WHEN HE SMELLED ANOTHER CAT FROM YOU

“...this is not my scent.”

and would be very obvious that he is jealous

“won, come here!” “um, no?”

“look, i'm sorry that i pet another cat.” ”hmm.”

“it was a stray, won. i was giving them food.” “okay, and? i guess you petted them a lot.”

“yes, they loves getting scratches. are you not?”

yes he does.

he does LOVE scratches especially on his head

daily head scratches before sleep is his favorite part of the day

when you told him your day while he took a nap on your lap and your hand gently scratches his head

he loves it

A LOT

also loves to be dolled up and be the ｡⁠*prettiest*⁠.⁠✧ cat in the world

but trust me it wouldn't last long

he would run around letting ribbon around his neck let loose

or rolling around on dirt seconds after you bathed him

“JUNGWON WHAT ARE YOU DOING???” “huh? play?”

hate bugs but also curious of it

like when he saw a pretty big grasshopper on your window he would stare at it for a long time

and proceeded to scream when the grasshopper started to jump

would run to you asking to banish it from his sight

in conclusion, you need a lot of patience to have a jungwon as your cat

but again who wouldn't want him as a pet?

nah, man i */sobs to my hugging pillow

kiss, kiss, kiss. — kim sunoo 김선우

masterlist ; warnings none genre fluff

getting ready to bed with your boyfriend, sunoo.

“whoa, today was quite a day,” sunoo brushed his hair back with his hand. moving away his bangs as he put a headband on. he glanced at you in the mirror, a smile quietly forming on his lips as he watched you wearing your own headband, “how was your day?”

“i'm beat,” you put just the right amount of toothpaste on your brush. your eyes caught sunoo's in the mirror, “it was fun, a little absurd, but fun.”

his smile grew bigger as he watched you brush your teeth, “oh, really? tell me about it!” sunoo picked up his own toothbrush and started brushing his own.

you took your time to brush your teeth while sunoo patiently waiting for your answer with a smile on his face, “i accidentally met my old friends on the way home,” you said after you spit out your toothpaste. you wiped your mouth and excitedly continued, “apparently one of them moved not so far from here, and they asked me to come to have a housewarming party with them. i'm not even that close with them, it was really awkward and a soul-sucking moment. gosh, it was totally t—”

out of the blue, sunoo abruptly kissed your cheek. leaving a tiny toothpaste foam on it. he was smiling from ear to ear.

you gasped, “WHAT WAS THAT FOR?!” you touched your cheek, jokingly annoyed by the kiss. though, it's actually woke up a lot of butterflies in your stomach.

sunoo laughed thrilled at your reaction. he washed his mouth and his toothbrush before putting it on the glass next to yours, “oh my god, you're so cute.”

“excuse me?” you asked as if you were offended by his words but you couldn't hide the redness on your cheeks and ears.

sunoo obviously noticed your flustered face. he was grinning as his soft hands went to cup your face, “i said you're cute,” he giggled before giving a peck on your lips, you could smell the mint from toothpaste he used before, “and you're so pretty,” he left another peck on your lips, “and i love you soooo much,” sunoo put his lips on yours once again. but this time it lasts a little bit longer.

you didn't know how to react, so you just stood there totally giving in to his touch as he pampered you with kisses. maybe it's by the rule for sunoo to kiss you at least three times before going to bed.

can I also avail a rule of this from him as a night care packagae pls 😞🙏

kiss, kiss, kiss. — kim sunoo 김선우

masterlist ; warnings none genre fluff

getting ready to bed with your boyfriend, sunoo.

“whoa, today was quite a day,” sunoo brushed his hair back with his hand. moving away his bangs as he put a headband on. he glanced at you in the mirror, a smile quietly forming on his lips as he watched you wearing your own headband, “how was your day?”

“i'm beat,” you put just the right amount of toothpaste on your brush. your eyes caught sunoo's in the mirror, “it was fun, a little absurd, but fun.”

his smile grew bigger as he watched you brush your teeth, “oh, really? tell me about it!” sunoo picked up his own toothbrush and started brushing his own.

you took your time to brush your teeth while sunoo patiently waiting for your answer with a smile on his face, “i accidentally met my old friends on the way home,” you said after you spit out your toothpaste. you wiped your mouth and excitedly continued, “apparently one of them moved not so far from here, and they asked me to come to have a housewarming party with them. i'm not even that close with them, it was really awkward and a soul-sucking moment. gosh, it was totally t—”

out of the blue, sunoo abruptly kissed your cheek. leaving a tiny toothpaste foam on it. he was smiling from ear to ear.

you gasped, “WHAT WAS THAT FOR?!” you touched your cheek, jokingly annoyed by the kiss. though, it's actually woke up a lot of butterflies in your stomach.

sunoo laughed thrilled at your reaction. he washed his mouth and his toothbrush before putting it on the glass next to yours, “oh my god, you're so cute.”

“excuse me?” you asked as if you were offended by his words but you couldn't hide the redness on your cheeks and ears.

sunoo obviously noticed your flustered face. he was grinning as his soft hands went to cup your face, “i said you're cute,” he giggled before giving a peck on your lips, you could smell the mint from toothpaste he used before, “and you're so pretty,” he left another peck on your lips, “and i love you soooo much,” sunoo put his lips on yours once again. but this time it lasts a little bit longer.

you didn't know how to react, so you just stood there totally giving in to his touch as he pampered you with kisses. maybe it's by the rule for sunoo to kiss you at least three times before going to bed.

damn, I really have a fat crush on jake idek anymkreJSKAJKSJSKSJS

🗒️ 、KISS IT BETTER BABY

playboy! jake x fem reader 762 words warning kissing genre fluff mikaela’s note this and intentions are literally the same because i love playboys

“You act as if you’re obsessed with me, Jake,” you point out, eyes playfully rolling back at him, the absolute bane of your parent’s existence, your boyfriend.

The dim lighting of the empty corridor only does justice to Jake Sim as he glows, hair slicked back in his all black suit that made him look like Lucifer himself. And it’s utterly ironic, how he tempts you like a sinner then treats you like an angel.

“I am though,” he grins, not a single hint of embarrassment evident in his voice, “sometimes I wake up in the middle of the night screaming your name.” It’s a whisper, yet it’s loud as his words resonate in your chest, sending chills down your spine.

He bends down, your back plastered against the cool marble wall of the fancy hotel that you should know the name of, yet everything is fuzzy as you come face to face with Jake. His effect on you is everlasting, just like it was when you first met him.

Out of the many rules imposed on you, one was written in bold, highlighted in fluorescent, and drilled into your mind — never ever befriend or even talk to a Sim. They’re rude and manipulative, taking every single opportunity to drain you dry for their own gains.

But you couldn’t help your weak heart, especially not when a boy like Jake Sim stood in front of you, face sculpted like a Greek god as he adored you as if you were the one that was otherworldly.

And so it started — climbing through windows unethically when the sky was a stroke of midnight blue, lies and lies that you were feeling unwell just to get pulled into an empty room to meet Jake. It was bad, very wrong, yet not a single tinge of guilt could be found in you.

“Not here,” you mutter, palms placed flat against his muscular chest. “Someone might be watching.”

He groans, “whatever, baby, let them watch.” His eyes are etched on your lips, tongue darting out swiftly before he bends down once again, “wanna show you off for once.”

Your lips are smooth, falling open at the brush of his tongue, welcoming him as his ring clad fingers grasp your hips. It’s heaven on earth, and Jake wishes that he could have you by his side every second of the day, that he could have the only privilege he had ever wanted amidst all in his life — to kiss you whenever he wanted to.

Jake doesn’t know how it happened, maybe it was curiosity or just the pure fact that you were labelled as forbidden that made the thought of you more appealing, more intoxicating, more fun. And he never expected it to be anything more than a game, but here he was, confessing that you were all he could ever think about, dream about.

“Jake,” you whine, pushing him away with great effort before glancing around to see if anyone was watching. Jake thinks he might go insane just looking at you, swollen lips and pretty face as you stare at him in slight disappointment — but how could he ever control the urge to kiss his pretty girl.

“Jake?” He cocks his head to the side, lips slightly downturned as he laments, “we’re alone right now and you’re calling me Jake? You wound me.” He holds back a cocky smirk at the way your eyes dim at the sight of his facade.

“You can always kiss it better, baby.” The playful smirk that he’s unable to hold back now showcased on his face, and it’s times like this that you find yourself cursing Jake Sim and his godly charm. He’s playing with you, and it’s painfully obvious, and you can’t seem to do anything but stare with burning red ears and cheeks.

“C’mon baby, don’t be shy, I’m all yours.” You can feel his hot breath hitting your lips, fingers caressing your waist as he pulls you closer and gives you nothing but teasing glances as he waits for you to initiate the kiss.

“We’re not supposed to do this,” you murmur, yet your actions oppose your words as you close the gap between his lips and yours, pure ecstasy as he smiles into the kiss.

Again and again, as Jake Sim pressed soft kisses on your lips, under the dim lighting of the hallway, just a few metres away from your parents. But he thinks it doesn’t matter what the consequences might be, he’d be fine as long as you were there to kiss it better.

© SJYUNS

my last effing straw */sobs aggressively

⌗ 𝗗𝗔𝗗𝗗𝗬 𝗜𝗦𝗦𝗨𝗘𝗦 !

⟢ SUMMARY. “If you were my little girl, I’d do everything I could.”

WARNINGS. daddy issues, parental seperation (father walking out), insecurity, toxic productivity, toxic perfectionism, inferiority complex, sibling rivalry (one-sided), attachment issues, abandonment issues, lots of tears? (mila cries a lot in this one)

NOTES. so um mila has daddy issues…? who would have guessed? 🫠⌇takes place after young and beautiful⌇“bold italics” = chinese, “italics” (double quote marks) = english, ‘italics’ (single quote marks) = flashback ⌇word count: ~7.7k⌇ requested: mila being insecure about heeseung and kiara

IT WAS QUIET. Something Mila had been used to for a long time — and yet, unlike the other times, this silence wasn’t nearly as stifling. As she lay there, her head on Jay’s chest as she listened to the beating of his heart, she could only feel warmth.

Heeseung stroked the top of her head, lulling Mila into a sense of comfort. She wondered if this was how babies felt when they were in the womb, wrapped up in a cocoon of warmth — and if so, she understood why her mother claimed Mila didn’t want to leave.

‘You were almost harder to push out than your brother,’ Mila’s mother once said. ‘It was like you never wanted to leave.’

Ah, Mila thought. It all made sense now.

Because when you had something like this, it was only natural not to want to let go of it.

“You know you can come to us for anything, right?” Jay asked, kissing the top of her head lightly.

Mila bit her lip.

Since her fainting incident, the boys had been a lot more attentive to her than usual, if that was even possible. And while she was grateful for it — God, she’s never been more grateful for anything in her life than to have them — she couldn’t help the feeling of guilt in her stomach whenever she thought of the pain they had to go through whenever they were with her.

“I know,” she replied. “I’m just… I’m sorry.”

Jungwon frowned, nuzzling his nose into her shoulder. It was times like this where his age showed — the times when it felt like he never wanted to let go of Mila, like a child clutching tightly to their security blanket.

“You don’t have to be sorry for that,” Jungwon said. “Just please… Talk to us, okay?”

Mila closed her eyes for a moment, before signing softly. She lifted her head, silently asking for Jay to let her sit up. And he did. Mila looked across the room at the boys, all of them watching her with varied expressions — but with one thing in common.

Love.

“Still,” Mila said. “I feel like… I think I still have to apologise.” She laughed dryly, fiddling with Sunoo’s fingers, as he sat beside her. “I just find it so hard to open up to people… but- but I should have known that if there was anyone I could open up to, it would be you all.”

The room was silent as the boys exchanged glances. They couldn’t say that they hadn’t noticed the same thing, too. They couldn’t remember the first person who pointed it out, but before debuting — before I-Land — there was such a thing that they had heard about Mila.

She was the famed ‘princess’ — the trainee from China with unreal visuals. Anyone who had the privilege of talking to her could say that, despite her still developing Korean, she was a pleasure to chat with. And yet…

‘Mila is easy to get along with,’ a trainee once said, ‘but hard to get close to.’

And the boys agreed; getting close to her was no easy feat. But slowly, one step at a time, it felt like they were getting somewhere. That she had seemed to be letting them in.

“I want to be open with you though,” Mila said, her eyes trained on Sunoo’s fingers. “I think… I’m just not used to having so many people to talk to. Or anyone. And I… I don’t know, I just— I’m so scared that one day you’ll realise I’m not the perfect girlfriend or that happy girl that you fell in love with…” Mila’s eyes grew distant, as if she were visiting a far away place in her mind.

“You don’t need to be perfect,” Sunghoon said. “None of us are. And that’s okay.”

Mila frowned. “But what if it’s not okay anymore? What if one day, you’ll all just…”

Sunoo frowned as Mila spoke. “We’ll just what?” he asked gently.

“That you’ll just leave.”

Mila swallowed the lump in her throat. She mentally cursed in frustration at the language barrier that prevented her from communicating the depth of how she felt. Because there was so much she wanted to say, and yet the only thing she could say could only show the mere tip of the iceberg that was her mind. 

The boys shared saddened looks, and her heart clenched in her chest.

“We’re not leaving,” Jay said. “I know it’s a lot to promise, but we don’t ever want to leave you. All we want in return is for you to let us know what goes on in this pretty little head, okay?”

Mila swallowed the lump in her throat.

The others didn’t add anything, because Jay had already said what they felt. And even if he hadn’t, it already showed. Mila couldn’t say she was a mind-reader, but their actions today spoke volumes. She wanted them to know, too, what they meant to her.

And so, for the first time in maybe forever… Mila found herself reaching out first.

“Remember that time I mentioned I didn’t have a dad?”

The boys immediately nodded. They could never forget that moment. It was an eye-opener to just how little they really knew about their little ray of sunshine — a metaphorical slap in the face if there ever was one.

It was during I-Land, one of the peaceful times where they were simply relaxing in the living room, sprawled out on the couches as they talked the daylight away. She had been talking animatedly with Daniel about something, and she had off-handendly said that she wished she could introduce him to her parents, to show off the adorable little brother she had gained.

‘Would your parents approve of me?’ Daniel had asked. To which Mila replied, ‘Of course! My mum would love you!’

Daniel’s natural response had been to ask, ‘What about your dad? Would he like me?’

And imagine the surprise of the boys when they heard her next words.

‘I don’t know,’ Mila replied nonchalantly — perhaps too nonchalantly. ‘I don’t have one.’

“I remember that,” Jake said with furrowed eyebrows.

“Until then, I didn’t realise that whenever someone asked about your parents, you only ever mentioned your mum.” Jay frowned, regretful that he hadn’t noticed sooner why she deliberately avoided the use of the term ‘parents’.

“Right. It wasn’t your fault, though. I never really gave anything away.” Mila laughed dryly. “Now that I think about it, I’ve always been pretty good at avoiding talking about myself. I guess I didn’t want anyone to get too close.”

“What about now?” Riki asked curiously.

Mila smiled. “Of course it’s different now. Because I have you.” The boys smiled fondly at her, and she found herself sighing. “I never really talked about it, because I didn’t know what to say. But I used to think that there was no point missing something I never really had… I mean, when my parents split up, I was still really young. I don’t even remember what he looks like.”

When Mila looked in the mirror, she saw a spitting image of her mother. Everything about Mila was so much like her mother that she had, at some point, convinced herself she was entirely her mother’s daughter. That in the same way that Mila’s mother had raised her alone, she too had been made alone. Though she knew she wasn’t.

As a little girl, Mila would be able to picture someone with a similar face to her brother’s, but more mature and aged; a more roughened version of her brother, who didn’t have the soft beauty that both Bai children inherited from their mother’s side. And if she tried hard enough, little Mila could see a set of dimples like her own, which seemed to be the only feature she didn’t share with her mother, and as such could have only come from the man that helped create her.

But one day, when Mila had grown old enough to forget, Mila found herself unable to imagine anything but a shadow. A blurred outline of a figure that wasn’t there. The only thing she could remember when she thought of him was a single memory of her hiding beneath covers with her brothers as two voices argued in the living room. And then the sound of the door being thrown open and slammed shut.

That was when Mila knew that he was truly gone from her life — if he was even truly part of it, to begin with.

“My mum raised me and my brother fine on her own. And my grandparents were there too, so it wasn’t like I wasn’t loved. I didn’t need him in my life. In fact, we were all happier without him.”

Mila frowned.

“But when I think about it now… I realised something. It’s like everything wrong with me was caused by him not being there… Because one day he was there, and then the next my mum told me he was going far away...” Mila blinked as the boys watched her with saddened eyes. And without even realising it, she felt a tear slip down her cheek. “And then he never came back. And I didn’t know why, but him leaving… it…”

Mila couldn’t help the way her shoulders shook from the withheld emotions she was trying to keep locked up, like a dam only just being held back from a broken gate.

Mila didn’t hate her so-called father. He didn’t mean enough — wasn’t there enough — for her to associate any emotions to him other than cold detachment. But she did blame him. She blamed him for making her mother raise two kids alone. She blamed him for making her feel like they — that she — wasn’t good enough to make her stay. She blamed him for a lot of things. But what she blamed him the most for was making her crave affection and love so desperately… yet being too scared letting others close, in fear that they would be like him — that they too would turn their backs on her.

Mila, above all else, blamed her father for making her a coward like him.

“I just don’t understand why someone who isn’t even here can mess me up so badly…” Mila sobbed. “I hate it.”

“Oh, love…” Heeseung frowned, as Mila sniffled, her breath coming out in broken sobs.

The boys could only watch with heavy hearts as Mila continued to pour out her heart to them in what had to be one of her most vulnerable moments so far. They had never dared to ask about Mila’s situation with her parents, knowing that it might be a sore point for her to remember, even if she had constantly assured them that ‘it was fine’ and that she had ‘gotten over it’. But they never could have imagined this. That the reason she had been so scared of losing them, of them leaving her, was because she had already been left. By a man who, by nature, was supposed to love and cherish her above anything else in the world.

They were filled with a mixture of heartbreak, fierce protectiveness and anger, caused by someone they hadn’t even met. They couldn’t comprehend how anyone would be foolish enough to throw away the gift that was Mila… And yet, they could only thank her fool of a father for doing what he did — because he had given them the chance to appreciate the very thing he didn’t.

“It’s okay,” Sunghoon said as he rubbed the girl’s back. “Oppa’s here now.” He kissed her forehead, as Jay cradled the back of her head. “We’re all here now.”

That was all the boys needed as a cue to wrap Mila in their warmth, holding her close to them, whispering sweet words into her ear, so that she would know — even if they couldn’t express with words — just how much she meant to them. And that they, no matter what happened in the past and no matter how long it took to make her understand, were here for her. They would always be here for her.

They were here to stay.

MILA WAS PAINFULLY FAMILIAR WITH THE WORD ‘SECOND’. She was the second-born child, second best, and also second choice on many occasions. And she was reminded of it at the worst of times.

She vaguely remembered a scene from her childhood, where she left her room because of a nightmare that woke her up, only to overhear her mother crying on the phone.

‘They’re having a baby,’ Her mother had said into the phone, sobbing madly. ‘It’s hasn’t even been a year, and he’s already starting a new family. What about my kids, huh? What will they think of they find out their dad is out there happy and raising another kid when he couldn’t even stay for them?’

Like that, Mila had unknowingly found out the reason that her house was missing one person, why their family photos now had tears in them from the forceful removal of one of the figures. And that day must have cemented Mila’s fate. It seemed Mila was her mother’s daughter, through and through — in the best and worst way possible. Because it seemed that no matter how beautiful they were, how kind or gentle they were, they were both doomed to be second to another woman in the eyes of the men they loved.

And the funny thing was, if it was Kiara Park, Mila couldn’t even argue about the fairness of it. Because Mila understood why any person would choose Kiara over her. Depressingly enough, she had even accepted it.

Mila remembered during I-Land, when the older female was considered one of the top trainees. Period. Gender was irrelevant when it came to someone as talented and skilled as Kiara. During those days, Mila could feel that familiar twist in her gut whenever she realised just how wide the gap was between the two of them, and how — despite walking towards the same dream — they seemed to be on severely different paths from one another.

One of them was consistently ranked at the top of every mission alongside the Ace trainee himself, earning the respect and awe of all other trainees. The other had spent more time in Ground than I-Land, weighed down by constant doubt over whether she was there for her visuals rather than her merit.

Mila had envied the older female just as any other girl would. She was everything Mila wanted to be — beautiful, strong, and confident in herself. And being older, Kiara automatically had an air of maturity that Mila — no matter how hard she tried to replicate it — severely lacked. Once, Mila had made a poor joke that if Kiara was fine wine, then she was grape juice, because Mila was every sense of the word immature. She was jealous, clingy, and painfully inexperienced. Everything Kiara was not.

The only similarity the two girls seemed to share — other than being the only female members in Enhypen — was that both of them were (or, in Kiara’s case, was) in a romantic relationship with one Lee Heeseung. The difference there was that one of them was Heeseung’s first choice.

And once again, it wasn’t Mila.

“Why couldn’t it be me?”

Heeseung froze, the smile on his face falling when Mila had finally asked the question she had been wanting to ask for so long. Because it didn’t make sense to Mila that after being with someone like Kiara, he would be able to settle with her. And it was unfair to her to doubt him, to question his loyalty, but this irrational feeling, brought to her by years of feeling worthless — subpar, second place, not good enough — made her wonder why he was still here, holding her to his chest as they lay on his bed, like she were the most precious thing in the world.

“Baby,” Heeseung said softly, as Mila’s eyes teared up. “What’s wrong?”

Mila sniffled as Heeseung gently brushed his thumbs against her now wet cheeks.

“It hurts,” she whimpered.

Heeseung frowned, his eyes full of worry. If he could get rid of her shadiness, he would; he would do anything to make her happy. And he hated that she looked so lost and broken in his arms, without a clue as to why she looked that way.

“What hurts, baby?” He gently pushed. “What’s making you sad?”

“It hurts that I wasn’t the first option,” Mila said with a small voice. Mila inhaled sharply. “Why couldn’t I get you to love me first? Why couldn’t I get to you before Eonnie did?”

Mila had tried so hard to leave it in the past. But she had already unlocked so many memories of the past by opening up to the boys about her childhood, by letting them into that space she hadn’t shown anyone else. And now those thoughts that she ran away from could finally catch up to her.

Heeseung felt his heart constrict painfully in his chest. Mila had been so worried about them leaving her, but all he could think about was how he always managed to — directly or indirectly — cause her pain. And it hurt like nothing else ever could to know that he had done this to her, even unintentionally. Especially after finding out just what she went through growing up.

Whenever Heeseung thought of the image of a younger Mila, lost and alone, he wanted nothing more than to sweep her up and hug her to his chest, telling her that it would be okay. That she didn’t have to grow up fearing closeness or affection. That when she got older, she would meet seven people who would love her like she always deserved, as long as she let them.

But he couldn’t do that. He couldn’t spare her the pain that she had carried with her all these years. All he could do was make up for it with the time they had together.

Starting now.

“Trust me when I say that I loved you for a long time,” Heeseung said. “And everyday I regret that I didn’t realise it earlier. Because the whole time I spent with someone I didn’t even like romantically, I could have spent it with you, holding you like this…” He cradled her head with one hand and the other hand grabbing her smaller hand in his. “Kissing you like this…” He kissed away the tears on Mila’s cheeks. “I could have had you faster, and saved you from hurting like you are now. But I was blind and didn’t even realise it until I almost lost you for good. You were always enough, my love. It was never your fault. You were— are— everything I want and need.”

‘You were always enough.’ ‘It was never your fault.’ Mila hadn’t realised just how long she was waiting to hear those words — from anyone. She didn’t realise just how much she wanted to be told that she — as flawed as she was — was still enough. And yet, just as always, Heeseung knew exactly what to say, and what she needed to hear.

Mila blinked away the tears in her eyes, her heart feeling lighter than it had before. “Really?”

“Really.” Heeseung squeezed Mila’s hand before lifting her to where his heart was, resting her palm flat against it. “Do you feel that?”

Mila nodded as she felt his strong heartbeats against his chest. 

“That’s yours.”

Mila’s breath caught in her throat, her own heart fluttering in her chest, despite her previous state of despair. Heeseung smiled softly as he looked into Mila’s eyes, his own sparkling with adoration that made Mila feel as if she were the only girl in the world.

Did this man even know what he was promising her? Just how much he was placing in her hands? If so, Mila realised she was more foolish than she originally thought. Because no one could ever give away something so precious to someone who didn’t mean just as much — if not more.

“No matter what happened in the past, just know that this—“ (Heeseung rubbed his thumb against the back of Mila’s palm.) “—is yours now. And it always will be. No one else’s. You’re more than ‘first’ — you’re my last. You’re my one and only. You’re it for me, baby.”

When Heeseung looked in Mila’s eyes to see that dazzling look he had grown to love, he knew that he would do anything to keep it. He had given his heart to her already — he would give everything else he had as well.

“I love you,” Mila whispered.

Heeseung smiled. “I love you too.”

Without another word, he leant down and pressed his lips to hers, cherishing the feeling of her soft lips against his. By the time they seperated, the only words they had for each other were the desperate ‘I love you’ that spilled from their lips, which sought each other out like they were lost without them. Then they remained there, no words shared — only kisses and warmth.

And that was enough for Mila.

She was enough.

MILA MISSED HER CHILDHOOD. Not necessarily in the sense that she would relive it, but more so because she knew that she didn’t spend it as she should have. Now she was an adult with a career that didn’t allow her the same freedoms as she had back then, and she found herself wishing she hadn’t been so hard on herself. That she let herself have more fun, that she made more friends, that she played more often. That she let herself be a child.

But she had always been harsh on herself. Even then.

Mila remembered anxiously picking at her vegetables on the rare day that her mother finished work early — because of course her mother had to eat dinner with them on the day that Mila would rather be alone.

‘I heard the results came out today,’ her mother said. ‘How did it go?’

And Mila instantly knew how it would end.

Just like always, her brother had done perfectly. Because when did he not? Top of his class, every teacher’s favourite student, star player on the basketball team, everyone’s role model — including herself. And Mila could wish all she wanted that one day, he might do a little less perfectly, so that she could feel better about not being as smart or sporty or charismatic as him. But then she would hate herself even more, for wishing failure upon her own flesh and blood.

So, she could only quietly eat her food, her head lowered, as her brother continued to talk about the praise he had received from his teachers. And in return, their mother glowed with pride, showering him with compliments.

‘How did I give birth to such a smart son?’ their mother gushed as she liked his plate with the best dishes. ‘Eat more. You need to eat well to replenish all your energy. Actually— why don’t I ask Aunty to make your favourite snacks tonight? I’m sure she wouldn’t mind if she heard how well you did.’

‘No need for that, Mama,’ Mila’s brother replied. ‘I’m fine just being able to eat dinner with you and Baobao.’

And Mila’s mother smiled lovingly, pride clear on her eyes. ‘Baobao’ was Mila’s family nickname; a name that meant ‘treasure’. But at times like this, Mila wondered if she was really worthy of such a name — when her brother seemed to shine brighter than she ever could.

Mila could already imagine her mother going to work the next day, bragging to her coworkers about her exceptional son, who was born gifted and talented — and Mila wondered if there was ever a time that her mother had done the same for her. That maybe, there was something worthy about her otherwise mediocre daughter that she could praise to the skies about.

But that was probably impossible, wasn’t it?

‘What about you, Baobao?’ Mila’s mother asked. ‘How were you exams?’

Mila bit her lip as she thought of her highest score — the 92 she had gotten on her English test — and then remembered her brother saying his lowest score was a 93. Even her best couldn’t match her brother’s worst. How sad was that?

‘It was so-so,’ she replied, before setting down her chopsticks. She forced a smile to avoid suspicion. ‘Thank you for the food. I’m finished eating now.’

And without another word, she excused herself from the table.

Mila cried herself to sleep that night — as she did on many nights — wondering when she would ever be able to do something to receive the same praise and recognition her brother did. She chased it so desperately that she threw her youth away. When she wasn’t at cheerleading practise, she was at her desk; and when she wasn’t at her desk, she was at school club meetings. Then when Mila became a trainee, it was like history repeated itself. She put hours upon hours into practice, never resting until she knew she had gotten everything perfect. And if she was anything less than perfect, she simply put in more. More hours, more sweat, more tears.

And it was happening all over again. Her face behind in her arms as she lay on her desk, overwhelmed by the papers scattered around her.

It was her day off, as five of the members (Kiara, Heedeung, Jungwon, Jay and Riki) were filming for a variety shoot. So, she had been locked up in her room for hours by that point, determined to make use of her free time to catch up on the school work that she missed. But looking at content on top of more content, her brain had already reached its breaking point, and no matter how much she looked at the materials in front of her, the only thing she could think was that she was just so tired.

And that was when Jake walked in to see her crying.

“Hey,” he said. “What’s wrong?”

“I can’t understand,” Mila replied in frustration. “No matter what I do, I can’t get it,” she said quietly. “I feel so stupid.”

“Shhh… hey, hey,” Jake said softly, kneeling in front of Mila and cupping her cheek. “Don’t say that, okay? You’re not stupid. You’re just having a slump. And that’s okay. Because you’ll pick yourself back up again.”

Mila sniffled. “But everyone else is already so ahead of me.” It was like she was a child all over again, chasing after her brother’s legacy. “It’s like I’m the only one lagging behind.”

Jake sighed, his eyes sad for the girl in front of him. He had always admired her ethic to improve — but he often wished she could be kinder and more patient with herself, as she was to others.

“You’re not behind. You just need more take time, and that’s okay. Not everyone gets it in right away— but what matters is you’ll get it eventually.” Mila nodded as she took in Jake’s words, feeling slightly better about her lack of progress. Jake smiled encouragingly. “You’ve been working so hard the past few days,” he said, “it’s time for a break.” He got up and started to pull her out of her seat. “Come on.”

“What?” Mila shook her head. “But I have to finish this.”

“You can finish it later,” Jake replied. “You have all the time in the world. That’s enough to give yourself a break and come back, when you can think clearer.”

Mila bit her lip as Jake called out to Sunghoon and Sunoo, the only other remaining members in the dorm. “Get ready!” he yelled. “We’re taking Mila on a date!”

Mila couldn’t protest anymore. Not when Sunoo and Sunghoon later joined Jake in nagging her, before threatening to carry her to the car themselves. Embarrassed by the mere thought of it, Mila immediately agreed to do what they wanted and let them take her out on a date at the mall. They had just gotten food to eat, when Sunoo noticed the arcade, which in turn made Mila excited.

“Can we go there?” she asked excitedly, tugging on Sunghoon’s and Jake’s sleeve. “Please?”

Taking one look at her pleasing eyes, the boys knew they didn’t have the heart in them to say no. Jake, who Jay had told to be back at the dorms by a certain time so they could all have dinner together, could have said no. Maybe Mila would have pouted a little about it, but they would be able to sweet-talk her and bribe her with the promise of chocolates. 

And yet, without a second of hesitation, he and Sunghoon immediately agreed, letting the girl drag them into the arcade by the sleeves while Sunoo skipped beside them. It was dangerous just how much they were willing to do for her and let her get away with. But it was no secret that they were down bad for their girlfriend — and they weren’t ashamed of it in the slightest. Which is how they ended up following her around after getting their tokens, watching her attempt various different games.

“Wah, that looks cute!” Mila said as she pointed to a crane machine, full of mini plushies. “I’m going to try to get one.”

Mila slipped a token into the coin slot, before grabbing the controls of the machine. 

“Don’t you have too many already?” Sunoo teased.

Mila laughed. “You can never have too many.” She returned her attention to the machine before manoeuvring the hook so that it hovered above a small bunny plush. “I’m going to go for the bunny.”

“Move a little to the left,” Jake said. 

“No, no,” Sunghoon disagreed, “you’re fine where you are.”

Mila furrowed her eyebrows. “Huh? Then do I move left or stay here?”

“Move left.” “Stay there.”

Sunghoon and Jake exchanged looks.

“Just do whatever!” Sunoo interjected. “Don’t listen to them. They’re bad at this game anyway.”

“No I’m not!” The two exclaimed in unison.

“Here.” Sunghoon put a hand on the small of Mila’s back before moving to stand behind her, placing his hands over hers as he helped her manoeuvre the controls. “I’ll help you.”

“Ayeeeee,” Sunoo and Jake chorused teasingly.

Sunghoon smiled shyly, a complete contrast to the confidence in his aura as he helped Mila to coordinate. As soon as he found a good angle at which to drop the crane, he told Mila to press the buttons. And the four of them watched as the crane descended, grabbing onto the bunny’s neck.

“Oh— it’s working, it’s working!” Sunoo announced as the crane successfully picked up the bunny. But halfway to the drop zone, it suddenly fell, causing them all to groan in disappointment.

Mila sighed. “Ah, it was so close…” 

Seeing her disappointed expression, Jake immediately jumped in. “Let me try.” Sunghoon moved aside and let Jake take his spot, watching as Jake did the same movements as he did before. “Okay, try pressing the button now.”

Mila did as Jake said and pressed the button. However, just like before, it only made it halfway. The four of them — too invested in the claw game — stood there for goodness knows how long, trying to get the plushie, until Mila decided to do it herself.

“Okay, last time! Here we go!”

Mila bit her lip in concentration, her eyes fixed solely on the machine in front of her. Sunoo, who was standing beside her, watching with fond eyes, taking in all her features as she remained fixated. It was just like her to be so focused on her goals, and this time, he was glad that even if she never did lose her tunnel vision, she was using it for something other than work.

Mila watched in anticipation as the crane lifted to the bunny, breath baited as she watched it travel over the other plushies below on its way to the drop zone. And when the bunny made it all the way to the end, she couldn’t help her jump for joy.

“I did it!” she yelled before turning to her lovers. “I got it! I got it!”

The boys laughed as Mila excitedly grabbed the bunny from the tray.

“Good job,” Sunghoon baby-talked.

Jake patted her head, as Sunoo clapped.

“It’s cute,” Sunoo said as Mila held it up.

“It kinda looks like you,” Sunghoon added.

Jake laughed. “Right?”

Mila laughed. By that moment, Mila had already forgotten about the sheets on her desk back at the dorm. She had spent so much time on tests and evaluations already, she realised she needed this break. At times like this, Mila realised just how much was out there. How beautiful life could be when she stopped obsessing about numbers on a piece of paper, or the approval of fickle-hearted people who could care less about who she was and what she went through. Especially when she could amend time with the people she loved instead.

This moment right here?

It made her happier than a 100 on any test could.

LONELINESS WAS AN OLD FRIEND OF MILA’S. It wasn’t like Mila didn’t have anyone who cared. Quite the opposite, in fact. She knew her mother loved her, and she knew her older brother would do anything to keep her safe. But when you were a child who had been convinced that you were a nuisance for wanting comfort — by someone who you barely even knew — you just learnt not to ask for anything more than what you already had.

‘Aiya, what are you doing out of bed?’ The housemaid asked one night, when a young Mila would wander out of her room, clutching a stuffed bunny in her arms.

‘I wanted to sleep with Mama,’ Mila replied.

The housemaid clicked her tongue, and put her hands on her hips, looking down at the young girl with a reprimanding stare. ‘Your mama only just got back home from a long day at work, ah. She needs sleep, but she can’t do that if she has to look after you. Do you want Mama to be tired in the morning?’

Mila immediately shook her head. ‘No.’ She looked down at the floor in shame, before asking, ‘Then can I sleep with Gēgē instead?’

The housemaid sighed. ‘Your older brother is tired from studying so hard, unlike you. You shouldn’t disturb his sleep.’ The housemaid held out a hand. ‘Here. Aunty will tuck you in.’

Mila hesitantly took the older woman’s hand, barely even holding on to it. But the woman didn’t seem to mind as she hurriedly escorted Mila to her room. The older woman had barely put the sheets up to Mila’s chin before she was bidding her goodnight and turning the lights off, shutting the door before Mila could even protest.

Mila turned on the bedside light beside her and screwed her eyes shut, forcing herself back to sleep. And the next morning, when she woke up, feeling as if she had barely slept at all, she took one look at her older brother, who had been diligently reading a book at the dining table, while the housemaid smiled fondly and served his breakfast; and then at her mother’s seat at the table which, like always, was empty at this time. And at that moment, Mila realised that maybe she really was just a nuisance. Because everyone seemed to have more important things to worry about than her.

That’s why Mila looked forward to the weekends more than anything — because then the whole family would be complete, and they would spend time together like families usually did. Her mother would take her and her brother to the park, and the two would play tag and other games. And she could pretend for a second that she wasn’t lonely, that she wasn’t desperate for just a little more affection.

But then time passed, her brother finally outgrew his little sister, and her mother had deemed her old enough to look after herself. Then Mila was by herself more than she wasn’t. And so, Mila learnt to enjoy the times she spent in the living room, alone, while she quietly watched her favourite shows on the television; or the times sitting by herself at the dinner table, with nothing but the sound of her chopsticks clicking against the dishes. Because there was nothing else she could really do about it.

But things were different now. Because the thing about the Enhypen dorms was that it was never quiet for long.

“Yah!” The sound of Sunoo’s yell was the first thing Mila woke up to. “Who used my lotion?”

“It wasn’t me!” came Jake’s reply. “Ask Sunghoon!”

Mila could just barely make out Sunghoon’s tired voice asking, “Why are you blaming me?”

With a giggle, Mila rubbed the sleep away from her eyes. But just as she made a move to stretch her arms over her head, she suddenly became aware of the other person occupying her bed and restraining her in a tight hug.

Riki groaned, nuzzling his face into Mila’s neck. “Don’t go…”

Mila laughed and did the best she could to pay his head as he clung to her side. His leg was thrown over Mila’s waist, and his arms over her chest, taking up almost all the space on Mila’s bed, leaving only a fraction of it to her. And yet, Mila couldn’t find it in her to be mad about it. Because she figured, she would rather be squished on a bed from having to fit two people, than to take up the entire space by herself.

“Bǎobèi,” Mila said with a mock stern voice, softened by the use of the pet name meaning ‘Baby’. “You need to wake up before Sunoo comes in here and scolds you for using his lotion again.”

Riki whined and squeezed Mila tighter. There was a reason why Mila was his favourite sleeping buddy. And it happened to be because: one, she was the perfect size to cuddle — like a life-sized teddy bear — and just as soft; and two, as much as he hated to admit it, he loved the way she would baby him in the mornings. He didn’t know that Mila treasured his cuddles just as much as he treasured having her in his arms. But he was just glad she was one of those people she let in — that he could be close to her in ways that some people would never get the chance.

Maybe Mila had been lonely, but Riki would always be here to show her that she could always count on him for company.

Riki furrowed his eyebrows when there was a knock at the door followed by a familiar voice. “Noona.”

“Wonnie?” Mila asked, her eyes brightening. Riki groaned, rolling his eyes as she said, “Come in!”

The door opened to reveal Jungwon, his dimples appearing with the way he smiled so widely, and his  eyes holding a galaxy of emotion. Riki could recognise that look anywhere, because it was the same one that he — that they all — had when they looked at Mila. As if she were the only girl in the world, the only thing that mattered. Perhaps Mila was the only one who didn’t see it. But that was okay. Because they had all the time in the world to show her.

“Yah,” Jungwon said to Riki, poking his side. “Get up. You got to cuddle her the whole night.”

Riki scoffed. He haughtily turned his head away from the elder and pouted as he clung on to Mila. “Don’t want to.”

Jungwon scrunched up his nose in distaste before turning to Mila, who watched the two with fondness on her eyes. She couldn’t help the way her heart fluttered, knowing that they valued her company enough to bicker about it. And her smile only grew when Jungwon pulled out those kittenish pleasing looks of his that he knew she could never resist.

“Darling, can you tell him to go away?” Jungwon asked. “I want to cuddle with you now.”

Mila laughed, before holding out a hand to him. “Then come here. We can all cuddle together.”

Riki smirked smugly, knowing that Mila would never kick him off of her bed. (Or any of them for that matter— but he just wanted bragging rights.) Jungwon looked mildly displeased at the thought of not getting Mila to himself, but then the feeling was quickly replaced by excitement as Jungwon’s eyes flickered with mischief.

As Mila was lying closest to the wall, Jungwon would have to get over Riki first. And being petty as he was, Jungwon — all decorum of a leader cast aside  —  stepped over him, purposely digging his foot into the younger’s side. A look that could only be described as a smug cat-like grin crossed Jungwon’s face when Riki yelped in pain, clutching his side. In the short window of time that Riki’s arm wasn’t on Mila, Jungwon lay himself on top of her, his head on her chest.

“Hyung!” Riki said indignantly. “That hurt!”

Jungwon simply stuck out his tongue before nuzzling his face into Mila’s — or rather, Sunoo’s — hoodie. He sighed in content when Mila’s hand immediately went to his locks, unaware that the other was gently rubbing Riki’s “hurt” side.

“Are you okay?” Mila asked, as Riki scrunched his nose up.

The younger glared at the elder, who was purposely hogging as much of Mila as possible. Feeling petty, he kicked Jungwon’s foot. 

“Yah, hyung, stop hogging and move over.”

Jungwon huffed. “Don’t want to.”

“Moveeee,” Riki whined, before looking at Mila with a helpless look.

Mila laughed. “Okay, okay. Move over a bit.”

Riki immediately did what Mila said and moved to the edge of the bed. Mila then tapped Jungwon’s back and instructed him to squeeze in between Mila and the wall. Just like that, Mila was in between two extremely clingy males who latched onto her like koalas.

“Better?” Mila asked.

“Eung,” both boys replied.

There was a short silence before Jungwon then added, “It would be better if Niki wasn’t here, though.”

Riki’s head shot up. “Then leave.”

Mila sighed as the two went back and forth. And yet, she couldn’t find it in herself to be truly mad. Because how could she, when it showed just how much they cherished her? They found comfort in her, as she did in them. And that alone was enough to fill her with contentment.

“I’m her favourite, anyway,” Riki said.

Jungwon clicked his tongue. “No, you’re not.”

“Who’s the one who got to cuddle her last night?”

“That’s only because it was your turn. Remember that it’s my turn tonight, so you’re not allowed anywhere near her bed.”

Mila laughed.

Yes, the Enhypen dorms were loud. Yes, there was bickering and petty fighting. And yes, sometimes Mila worried that the walls might fly off with how noisy things could get. But Mila wouldn’t have it any other way.

If anything, it just reminded her she wasn’t alone.

MILA HAD ALWAYS BEEN A JEALOUS PERSON. It wasn’t something she was proud of, nor which she liked to admit. But it was true. And it had to be her tragedy that there was always someone out there with something she wanted, but never really had — especially as a kid.

Other children envied the fact that Mila always had a pretty set of shoes and dresses to wear; a different hair clip in her hair every day, a pencil case full of assorted crayons and coloured pencils of the best brand; a shiny car, and not to mention the best snacks for lunch. But they didn’t realise she envied them, too.

Mila wondered if those kids from her youth realised now that Mila would have traded her store-bought food in a heartbeat for their homemade lunches. That even if she had shiny fancy hair clips and pretty dresses, it wasn’t her mother (who was always gone by the time Mila woke up for school) who helped her into them, but something she had learned to do herself, instead. And Mila couldn’t care less about the shiny car that came to pick her up after school, because unlike the other kids, she knew her dad wouldn’t be stepping out of it, smiling, and opening his arms for her to run straight into them.

Instead, Mila would only wait awkwardly in her classroom, watching as her classmate’s father picked her up and kissed her on the cheek.

‘How was my princess’ day?’ Her classmate’s father asked. And then Mila’s classmate showed him the picture she painted that day, of her happy family, to which her father beamed and said, ‘Wow, you drew this? It’s too good to be a pre-schoolers. Why don’t we get ice cream as a treat?’

Mila could only watch in envy as the father- daughter pair left the classroom in a fit of giggles and laughter, just as her chauffeur appeared at the door, gesturing impatiently for her to follow him. Then Mila followed him with rushed steps — scared of annoying him if she took too long — her own painting that she had drawn that day folded and forgotten inside her backpack.

But that was okay, Mila thought. She knew her mother was busy at work, and with playing the role of two parents, so it was hard for her to be there for Mila; and her grandparents lived in a different city, so it wasn’t like she could stay with them either. So she would just have to go home as she usually did, waiting until the time her brother finished training so that she wasn’t alone.

And Mila accepted that. She had gotten used to it. Because she hadn’t known anything else… Until she gained so much more.

“Ayeeeeee!”

Mila had just finished putting on her backpack, she was startled by the jostling of her classmates who had erupted into cheers and wolf whistles. Confused, she looked up to find the source of the sudden rowdiness. And there he was. Jay, standing at the door in his uniform and coat, with a smile on his face.

Mila could only smile back, fondness filling her chest. She knew there a bunch of envious gazes and excited whispers going through the classroom, but she didn’t notice them. All she could see was him, waiting to pick her up from class himself.

“Don’t make the poor man wait,” her classmate said teasingly. “He looks like he’s dying to run up to you right now.”

Without a quick goodbye, Mila skipped up to Jay happily, his eyes brightening with each step she took towards him. When she got to him, his hand immediately found her bag strap, a soft smile on his face.

“Let me carry it,” he said, taking the bag from Mila before she could protest.

Mila giggled. “I can carry my own bag.”

“I know,” Jay replied while chuckling. “But let me do this for you, okay?”

Jay didn’t know if Mila knew just how much it meant to him, having her rely on him for these kinds of things, no matter how small and insignificant they seemed. He knew that if she didn’t want his help, he would have no choice but to respect her decision — and yet, at the same time he couldn’t help the feeling in his chest whenever he looked at her and her bright eyes. The feeling of doing anything and everything for her. For no reason at all except that she deserved it.

Even before Jay knew anything about her childhood — and the empty gap waiting to be filled — he had already promised himself to be someone she could depend on. And now that urge only grew stronger.

“What do you want for lunch?” Jay asked gently as he brushed a strand of hair from Mila’s face. “We have time to get some food to eat before we go back to the dorms.” Noticing Mila’s hesitant lip bite, he added, “Get anything. I don’t mind.”

Mila hummed. “In that case… Is it okay if we go home to eat?” Mila asked shyly. “I really feel like having some of your cooking.”

Jay’s chest was filled with warmth, both pride and joy. He would do anything that she asked if it made her happy. But hearing that she wanted to have his cooking more than any other option made him wish that teleportation existed, so that he could get to the dorm and make something for her as quickly as they could.

“Okay,” he said. “I’ll let Sunoo know to meet us at the car.”

Mila could only smile warmly, adoration shining in her eyes like sunlight through a painted glass window — full of vibrant colours that only love could make. The two of them walked side by side, their fingers brushing against each other, not too close as to avoid the curious eyes of their schoolmates.

“How was your day?” Jay asked, tugging her closer to him when a rowdy pair of male students ran past and switching sides with her so she was walking on the less crowded side of the hall.

Mila hummed, before she smiled upon remembering something. “It was good! During Math, one of the teachers asked me to solve the problem on the board — and it was hard at first, but I actually did it right!”

Jay beamed. “Really?” When Mila nodded happily, he wrapped an arm around her shoulders. And when they finally reached the less crowded part of the school on the way to their van, Jay leant down to whisper in her ear, his lips brushing against the shell. “I’m so proud of you.”

Mila had almost cried then and there. She somehow made it to the van without shedding a tear. But that afternoon, when Mila sat at the dinner table with Jay next to her, holding chopsticks to her mouth, she really did cry. Her eyes watered, glassy with tears as Jay fed her the food that he had cooked just for her.

“Thank you,” Mila whispered, unable to say anything else. Because she didn’t want to apologise anymore. Jay deserved more than that. They all did. She was grateful for them. Grateful that they loved her. Grateful that she got the chance to love them in return.

And for a split-second, Mila wondered if Jay thought she was odd for crying out of nowhere. But of course, he didn’t. Because that was just who he was. That was Jay.

“Shhh, I know,” Jay whispered, wiping the tears off her face as she chewed on her food. He kissed her forehead and said, “It’s okay.”

And Mila believed him.

Jay was there, and so were the others. And she believed if they were together, then everything was going to be okay. Because the same way she promised — then and there — to do all she could for them, so too would they do the same for her. Would give the world if she asked, wrapped up in a bow. And if she lacked love before, then all they would have to do is make up for it with their own.

Because she was their girl now.

TAGLIST: @lanamoonroh @3amstarlight @nikitopia @one16core @onlyuyu @xinikons @clar-iii @shinrjj @nee-issaire @elizalabs3 @lol6sposts @cyberpunksunwoo @woonkies @wonsctz @euniceruiz11 @curly-fr13s

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𝐏𝐎𝐈𝐒𝐎𝐍 – 𝟓𝟎

𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐅𝐈𝐅𝐓𝐘: 𝐚 𝐧𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 𝐟𝐮𝐥𝐥 𝐨𝐟 𝐬𝐮𝐫𝐩𝐫𝐢𝐬𝐞𝐬

⤲ 𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠: 𝐋𝐞𝐞 𝐇𝐞𝐞𝐬𝐞𝐮𝐧𝐠 𝐱 𝐟𝐞𝐦𝐚𝐥𝐞 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

⤲ 𝐠𝐞𝐧𝐫𝐞: 𝐜𝐨𝐥𝐥𝐞𝐠𝐞!𝐀𝐔, 𝐛𝐫𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫'𝐬 𝐛𝐞𝐬𝐭 𝐟𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐝!𝐀𝐔, 𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐬𝐭, 𝐬𝐦𝐮𝐭

⤲ 𝐰𝐜: 𝟑.𝟑𝐤 (not proofread)

⤲ 𝐜𝐰: 𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬 𝐨𝐟 𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐠𝐧𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐲

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"How is it going boys?"

Heeseung's voice is shaky and a lot hoarser than just a few moments ago, as the thought of finally doing what he's been daydreaming of for the past decade is actually about to become reality.

His eyes nervously roam the now fully decorated rooftop, the warm june breeze making everything a lot more bearable and for the first time in about twentyfour hour he feels like his lungs are actually filling with oxygen.

He knows you're not going to say no, it's something you've both discussed way too many times for people who have only been officially together for less than a year, yet the excitement, anxiety and feeling of being overwhelmed has definitely taken over his whole body in a way he's barely able to handle.

The thought of actually wifing you up, the way he's been joking around with it for all these months, is becoming way too real and for a short moment he can't help but wonder if it's really the right time.

But with your new apartment's keys in his bag and the contract signed, his new job as the department manager for one of Seoul's biggest companies secured and you both being so sure about it, he simply doesn't see the point in waiting any longer.

In fact, he's never been as sure about basically anything as he is about proposing to you.

"We're all set, Seung", Soobin, one of his coworkers and closer friends responds calmly, "just send us the message and we'll blow this place up."

"Stop saying it like that or we're going to get arrestedd,you stupid bitch", Yeonjun, the team's former number seven responds and for the first time in about thirty minutes Heeseung actually bursts into laughter.

As soon as those two hang up, the soon to be fiancé' turns around to look at his childhood friends who have decided to celebrate the evening with a beer, both of them meeting their best friend's gaze and shooting him two big smiles, reminding him just how grateful he is to have a found family like them.

And as your boyfriend is currently busy with something you have absolutely no suspicion of, you're thanking the people from the catering service for their hard work as you send them home with all the leftovers, trying your very best not to gag at combined smell of fish and beef.

Jungwon hasn't left your side all night, no matter how many times you've tried to get rid of him to avoid anybody's suspicions or just questions, your best friend has simply refused to do just that.

"When are you going to tell him?"

He says and looks at you with his pretty eyes, cheeks slightly flushed from the few glasses of wine he's had already and as your brain processes his question, you can't stop your lips from stretching into a big smile.

When you first realised just how much time it had been since you had last gotten your period, you didn't think much of it. Mostly because you've been used to the irregularity ever since you had started taking the pill a few months back and even before that your body was prone to skip a week or two whenever life got a little too stressful.

If it wasn't for the morning sickness you'd been feeling these past few days, you would have never thought of a possible pregnancy for another two months.

The walk to the pharmacy and back home as well as the whole process of taking the test had quickly become the longest hour of your life and as soon as the second line on your first test had appeared, your whole life changed in an instant.

By the time the third one came back positive as well you were already a sobbing mess as happiness, excitement, anticipation but also fear, worry and shock slowly took over your body.

For a really short moment you even let your anxiety take the best of your thoughts, yet as soon as you remembered your most recent conversation about the future, life after graduation as well as marriage and children, you managed to get rid of everything that wasn't joy or excitement.

You never once worried about your boyfriend's reaction because despite skillfully hiding it behind jokes and dirty talk, you know how badly Heeseung's been wanting to become a father from the very beginning. He never even tried to be subtle about it, all he did was wait for you to feel ready and even if you hadn't actually planned for it to happen until your own graduation, you're still just as excited and subconsciously ready for it as you would have been if it happened two or three years later.

Lee Heeseung is the love of your life, the man you you dreamed about ever since you actually understood the concept of love and there's absolutely nobody in this world you could ever imagine as the father of your children other than him.

And after a night of celebrating him and his best friends like this, you're pretty sure it's the perfect time to let him know about your upcoming addition to your little family.

"Hoonie said everyone's going to go up to the rooftop because the boys are setting up some blankets and stuff and I thought maybe I could make Seungie stay here with me for a bit and tell him when you're all upstairs."

Jungwon attentively listens to your plan, his smile as big as ever and you can't help but tear up at the sight of pride in his bright eyes. You've never seen him this happy and to think that he's actually going to move to Seoul and therefore be here throughout your whole pregnancy instead of having to wait three years until he finishes his degree makes it a lot more difficult to hold yourself back from crying.

Never in a million years would you have ever expected your first year away from your old life to be so perfect, yet despite all these years of abuse and agony, you've finally reached a point where life feels good and every day you wake up grateful and happy. The patience and hard work has definitely paid off.

"That sounds great", Jungwon says and pulls you into a tight hug, knowing you both will actually burst into tears if you look at him any longer, "but you should join us first and then take him downstairs. Wait for everyone to settle down or it'll be too obvious."

With a sharp nod you agree with your best friend, placing a quick kiss on his cheek before you let everyone know that you'll be with them in a bit, taking absolute advantage of your empty apartment as you finally pull out the little onesie in Heeseung's favorite color and the little #01 on its back as well as one of the positive pregnancy tests from your closet and allowing yourself to take a few deep breaths.

However, it doesn't take long for you to feel slightly overwhelmed because despite having realised it all already, you know telling your boyfriend about it is going to make it even realer than it currently feels, which is why you decide to try and distract yourself just a little longer by joining everyone upstairs.

You don't exactly know what to expect as you breathlessly and slowly climb the stairs to stop yourself from passing out, yet the last thing you expect is for the floor to be covered in rose petals as a road of little candles lights the way for you.

"What the–", but you don't get to finish as your favorite love song suddenly starts playing and all of your friends start cheering loudly.

It takes you a good minute to spot your boyfriend at the end of said candle way, holding onto a bouquet of your favorite flowers for dear life, his perfect lips stretched into a wide smile, eyes glossy and cheeks slightly flushed.

You don't even realise what the hell is going on and that you haven't moved an inch yet, until your best friend tells you to and with a thick veil of tears blurring your vision you finally start approaching the man of your dreams.

And as you slowly walk towards him, Heeseung can feel his heart thrumming in his throat, the blood rushing through his ears to the point where every single noise seems to ne way further sway than it is until you come to dtand right in front of him.

With a shaky hand he reaches for you and guides you to stand in front of your friends, your brother watching you with excited and proud eyes and if it wasn't for all the emotions you're currently feeling, you definitely would have noticed a single tear finding its way down his cheek.

"Park Y/N", Heeseung says calmly once the volume of the music slowly goes down, his voice shaky and everything about his demeanor gives away just how nervous he is, "my first and only love."

And as soon as those words hit you straight in the face, you physically can't stop a tiny sob bubbling up from your throat, genuine happiness and adrenaline making its way through your system at the realisation of what this actually is.

"Over a decade ago I fell in love with you, your warm heart and kind soul, those perfect eyes and your sweet smile. There has never been a day I didn't think of you and holding your hand right now still feels like a dream", your boyfriend's words are genuine and honest, something you've gotten used to yet still can't really process no matter how much time passes.

You try to calm yourself down once you notice the nervousness in your boyfriend's facial expressions, holding onto his hand just a little tighter before he hands you the bouqet and slowly moves his hand to reach for something in his back pocket.

"I've thought about this exact moment ever since I really understood what love meant and not a single time in my life have I associated it with anyone but you." With his smile still as big and bright, you attentively watch the love of your life pull out a little jewelry and just when your hands find their eay to your mouth, Heeseung slowly steps back to finally get on one knee.

A sight so beautiful you're genuinely afraid you might be dreaming.

"You're my childhood, my youth and my whole life. You're my home. Everything I have, everything I am belongs to you, including my heart and I want to spend the entirety of the rest of my life to become a man you can love and be proud of, who's worthy of your presence in his life."

At this point nobody among you and your friends can actually hold back their tears and for a short moment your gaze shifts to your older brother, who has been trying his best to keep it together but decided to finally give in at the sight of his two favorite people loving each other so dearly.

"Will you please make one of my biggest dreams come true and become my wife?"

Heeseung has lost count on how many times he's changed his lines and how many times he's practiced different versions of this exact speech in his head, in front of the mirror and under the shower. At one point he even started practicing it in front of the two elderly ladies at the company's cafeteria, yet at the end he still decided to just go with what his heart has to say.

Something he's never had problems with when it comes to you.

And as you slowly start nodding your head with tears streaming down your cheeks, he swears the whole world starts spinning in slow motion.

One of his biggest dream has finally become reality, a realisation hitting him so hard he actually forgets to move.

But there's no need for him to because by the time his mind catches up on what just happened, you've already thrown your arms around his shoulders with a soft sob multiple "Yes"s, quite literally pulling him back into reality.

The following minute is filled with nothing but silence from the both of you as you hold each other and take in the warmth of the happiness oozing from your shared moment.

Heeseung, who's basically overwhelmed with joy, drops on both of his knees as he's holding you in his arms and tries his best to keep his cries at bay.

And once you pull away to let him put the ring on your finger, the sudden sound of fireworks going off startles you in the best way possible, yet also elicits another soft cry from your lips.

"I told you I'm going to wife you up", Heeseung chuckles and places a soft kiss on your lips, his big hands holding your face like you're a piece of glass, so fragile he's afraid you'll break if he's too rough.

"And I told you I'm always ready for it."

Those words earn you a literal standing ovation from all of your friends, cheering and hollering from all of them exceot your brother, who's still as quiet as ever, yet never once stops to smile.

Heeseung doesn't hesitate to back away from you as soon as he spots Sunghoon approaching the two of you from the corner of his eyes and before either one of you can say something, you're pulled into another tight hug.

A hug which holds so many emotions, so many memories and so much love, you actually feel yourself drowning in it all in the best way possible.

"Congratulations", Hoonie whispers softly, too afraid of the possibility his voice might break if he spoke too loudly, "I'm so happy for you, little one. You deserve this and so much more."

At this point your pregnancy hormones and all those pent up emotions from the past few years have decided to team up, so you basically stand no chance in forming a coherent sentence which actually makes sense. All you can do is cry in your brother's arms as the realisation of you both finally living a life of peace and harmony has become true.

After a round of hugs, even more tears, from both the boys and the girls, as well as a fit of loud laughter because of Jongseong's random comment, you spend the following ten minutes in the arms of your new fiancé, your eyes either fixated on his face or the ring on your finger.

By the time you hug your brother one last time, it's way past two am and you can feel the exhaustion and tiredness taking over every bit of your body, yet know there's still a very important thing left to do for you.

After a nice long shower, the two of you quietly get ready for bed, Heeseung's hand always somehow touching you, a habit he's picked up along the way and you still giggle whenever you remember the reason being his mind not comprehending that you're actually here and his, so he had to make up for it with skinship.

"I actually wanted to fuck you to sleep just like you deserve but I'm afraid we're both too tired, hm?", Heeseung whispers into your ear as he wraps his arms around your waist and presses his strong chest into your back.

"Mhm", is all you can say as your heart slams brutally against your rib cage at the thought of the upcoming few minutes.

You don't even notice the way Heeseung's hand has found its way up your chest to your neck and as soon as he feels your rapid heartbeat, you find yourself being turned around to face your slightly worried fiancé.

"What's wrong?"

The question is the first one to come to his mind, something he's yet to get rid of since it's more of a trauma response than an actual question.

"I have to tell you something, Seungie."

"We've been engaged for less than two hours, please don't tell me you wanna call it off", he breathes and throws his head back, leaving you absolutely flabbergasted.

"Oh, my God", he suddenly says a little louder than you expected and with big eyes you watch him fall to his knees, wrapping his arms around your waist and pressing his head against your belly with a faux cry.

"Please, don't leave me, I'd be nothing but the shell of a man." And those words basically give you the rest. With a loud, ugly chuckle you push your hands into his hair and start shaking your head, knowing he's not serious but still reassuring him.

"Give me a second, will you?"

With curious eyes Heeseung slowly pulls away and watches the way you walk to your side of the bed and slowly oulling out a little box, bigger than the one for your ring he carried in his pants the whole night, before you make your way back to him with your grip way too tight.

"Open it", you say softly and try to drown out the loud beating of your heart in your throat, the feeling of having to throw suddenly overwhelming you and with a soft sigh you try to calm yourself down.

Seungie doesn't say anything as he takes the box from your hand and does as he's told, lifting the lid and revealing your little present to his big, glossy bambi eyes.

"What..."

A beat of silence follows the single word before he reaches for the pregnancy test and stares at it for way longer than necessary.

You have no idea what's going on inside of his head and for the first time ever since you've found out about your pregnancy you're actually anxious about his reaction.

What you're not awarenof is the way Heeseung's brain has yet to process what the fuck he's looking at, meanwhile his chest has filled with a warmth so comforting and calming, it actually feels dizzying.

You're pregnant.

You, the one woman he's loved all of his life, his now fiancé, are pregnant with his child.

The realisation feels like an actual dream and without giving it another thought, Heeseung lands a harsh slap against his own cheek to see if he's awake.

As the sting of his sweet attempt spreads in his face, the tears have already blurred his vision and with a single one finding it's way down his cheek he looks up at you.

"Oh, my God", a breathy chuckle of disbelief leaves his lips just before he gets up to be on eye level with you, his big hands reaching for your face to press your forehead against his and you still feel unsure until a row of soft sobs start filling the tension in your shared bedroom.

"We're actually going to be parents?"

All you can do is nod, choking on your own tears making it eay too difficult to respond verbally.

You've never seen this particular expression on Heeseung's face and as it reaches his pretty eyes you realise it's nothing but oure joy and excitement, maybe even a hint of relief.

"We're actually going to be fucking parents."

And as he gently wraps his around your body, Heeseung feels a wound in his heart slowly healing, a wound so deep he had managed to suppress it's pain all these years.

"This is the best day of my life", he whispers and inhales your sweet scent, his hand subconsciously moving to rub over your belly, "thank you so much. Thank you for healing me. Thank you for seeing me worthy of your love. Just – Thank you."

Heeseung doesn't give you the opportunity to respond as he pulls you into a passionate kiss, knowing everything he failed to voice out is going to reach your heart through this one kiss.

Not many words are exchanged between the two of you until you're burying your face in his neck, your eyes heavy from the exhaustion of the day, yet Heeseung makes sure to be the last one to speak just before you fall asleep.

"I love you so much. My first and only love."

(A/N: i'm not going to say much bc ive cried so much already and gotta save it for the epilogue injust hope you guys enjoyed this one and know how much i love and appreciate all of you. thank you for making this journey unforgettable and so, so special.)

TAGLIST CLOSED: @soonigiri @thvhannie @enhaz1 @kpoprhia @abrazosolorcereza @deobitifull @mixtape-racha @certifiedmoa @jungwon-xo @hoonieluv @enhamysunshines @jaehoonii @pussyslayerhd @ineedsomezzz @neocockthotology @heerinnie @onionzzzs @hee-pster @3amstarlight @xxxxrvexxxx @primroselover @mimikittysblog @iea-tsand @lhspeachie @xiaoderrrr @viagumi @smg-valeria @kells5595 @heeseunghee7 @xrvrqs @ddazed-lhs @heebrry @fakeuwus @dammit-jjk @ivyannemarie @thekinkpopstandsforkrackheads @s00buwu

just me reading this fluffy vomiting cute ass piece of sht at a school night (it's 1am) while sobbing— I'm totally not affection deprived bahaha ha..

AMBER AND ALCOHOL

g fluff w kissing, mentions of drinking, hee's tipsy n ri talked about tipsy hee from prada after party and i had to do this

“hey beautiful,” your soft gasp spins in the air as heeseung’s arms wrap around your waist from behind, his face nuzzled up in your neck; something that makes you freeze in your stance as you’re cleaning the kitchen counter after dinner. 

“hee?” you say a little above the silence in the kitchen. the pendant lights being the only source of lighting around, it only reminds you how pretty he looks under the dim yellow glow— exactly what he’s thinking right now, about you. “back already?”

and you had expected him to stay out at least till an hour after midnight. after all, evening plans with the guys always keep him out of the doors of his apartment, usually inside a karaoke bar or someone's house, watching a movie. “hm, just missed you, my love,”

his arms wrap a little tighter around you as those words fall off his lips and you chuckle, assuming he’s feeling a bit clingier than usual. you feel his lips softly grazing against your shoulders, a touch that takes you to heaven and back. and it’s nice— to stand in the plain silence of the night, just the two of you and the sound of your soft conversations whispered into the air, just his kisses that trace along your neck, just the way you could stand there and soak in his presence forever. 

you turn around, his arms not leaving your waist even for a second, pushing you against the counter instead as he steps closer, just close enough for you to feel his warm breath on your lips— your furrow your brows in dubiety. “did you drink?”

“a little,” he nods in response, whispering against your neck. “you smell so good, angel,” he leans in again, stroking his lips over your collarbones. “did you get a new perfume?”

“yeah, yesterday,” you reply with a soft hum.

and heeseung looks up at you, pulling you a little closer by your waist as he goes in for a kiss, his nose brushing against yours, lips just a few centimetres apart before you put your finger in between. “you reek of alcohol,”

“ah,” he pauses, looking at you before chuckling ever so quietly, burying his face in your neck once again, enamoured, drowsy, tipsy, against your clavicle. “guess i don’t smell as good at you,”

you feel his breath against your skin as you both laugh, a sound that resonates with melody and melancholy. you fingers fiddle with the tips of his hair, lips planting the softest kiss on his cheeks as if you’re muttering the sweetest confession. he feels the love he has for you overflow, it’s so much, so deep, it scares him. he knows it will drown him, he knows he will let it.

“wash up,” another kiss pressed against his cheeks, he nods slightly against your neck. “let’s go to bed,”

“if you keep using this perfume,” his hands fiddle with the hem of your dress, fingers slowly sliding under as he paints invisible patterns over your skin, now looking at you with the same half drunk expression in his eyes, not sure if it’s from love or alcohol. “i might not be able to stop myself from kissing you,”

and his gaze puts you in a light trance, unable to move or respond, far too spell bound by his voice that nothing else seems sensible enough. your eyes settle on his lips and he gets the hint, leaning in once again, an action, this time, mirrored by you as you whisper against his lips. “then i’ll make sure to wear it every day,”

his lips taste of love. a bit bitter, half chapped yet still so soft as they move against yours. you feel the slightest of beer on your tongue, the air smells of the bergamot in your perfume, accompanied by amber. it smells of alcohol as he pressed himself against yours, the feeling just as intoxicating as the drink he had. it smells of him and you,

and it smells of love. 

me when

this is home

description: jungwon x reader (very soft physical affection, jungwon's relationship with reader is up for interpretation)

i wrote this for the people who have had a troubled past and the idea of jungwon being your safe haven makes you want to *sob*

his presence was like a fresh load of laundry on a warm spring day. his smile, his laugh, jungwon coming into your life saved you from yourself. 

with his hoodie over his head and his favorite plaid pajama pants on, there really wasn’t a sight comparable to this one.

it was strange to be so engulfed by a spirit so light and bright but it was more comfortable than it is foreign.

he places his hand softly on yours and tugs you gently towards himself, “come here” he touches you in the way you need it and pours his love into each in every movement. you feel his affection through the pads of his finger tips and the soft grip of his hand. jungwon is your safe place, being someone so frightened by physicality, he makes it feel natural.

his hands roam all over your arms and shoulders, looking you up and down to make sure you’re okay like he always does. he pulls you into a hug and you feel yourself melt into him all over again. he’s warm and his body is firm but his aura is so soft and gentle it feels healing in a way. he lowers himself against the couch so that you can lay on his chest just like that, with his arms still wrapped around your lower back. 

you can hear his heart beating, and feel his chest moving up and down with every breath, and you are reminded all over again that you are in the right place. he traces circles through your clothes and it sends shivers up your spine. it feels so good to be here, it feels so good to be on jungwon. 

you take a peek up at him, with the tv screen flashing colors on his face in the dark room, he’s beautiful as ever. he’s handsome with his hair undone and a lazy outfit on, he’s jungwon and jungwon to the core. 

closing your eyes, you lower your head on his chest again, rubbing against it a bit with the side of your face. 

he notices you getting comfortable and takes it as a sign that you’re ready to fall asleep. he smiles softly, gazing at your presence and holding you just a bit tighter than he was before. 

after a few minutes of soaking in all your facial features with his eyes, he brings his head down to kiss your forehead gently, before going back to watch the tv. 

you’ve never slept better. 

ok */crrjes

come to bed?

fluffy! hyunjin x reader,

2am, you quietly enter your home. it’s dark, it’s quiet, no sign of hyunjin.

the smell of freshly baked bread still lingers after hyunjin spent the evening trying to recreate his mother’s apple bread.

tiptoeing into the bedroom, you’re careful not to wake your sleeping boyfriend.

dropping your bags, you hear shuffling coming from the bed.

“baby?” hyunjin peeks from under the covers.

“oh- i’m sorry! did i wake you?” you worry.

“no, no, i’ve been up for a while. come to bed?” he ushers you.

“i will, need to shower first though.” you reassure your impatient lover.

he whines in protest as you bend to give him a quick kiss on the forehead before you maliciously abandon him yet again.

you hurriedly shower, eager to finally get some time with hyunjin after your long night.

finally climbing into your comfortable bed, hyunjin turns around to wrap his arms around you and hold you impossibly close, placing a few very soft kisses along your crown.

“how was it? did you have fun?” he asks, brushing your hair through his fingers.

“i guess it was fun, missed you though. it’s just hard to have fun being away from-”

her.

there’s that familiar sound again.

“i got it, you’re tired, go to sleep.” he spoke before kissing your forehead and unbinding you from each other.

rolling over and grabbing the baby monitor from his bedside, hyunjin mutes it before hopping out of bed.

he’s already heading out the door of your bedroom before you could say a word.

he told you to stay but you can’t help it. you follow behind him quickly, a man on a mission, his long legs carrying faster than yours ever could this late into the night.

nearly out of breath, placing your hands on his hips, you peek from behind hyunjin.

normally he would jump at the sudden touch from behind, but he was far too focused on the issue at hand.

“aigoo~ why is my baby crying?” he coos as he gently picks her up from her crib. he holds her gently in his arms and begins to ever-so-lightly rock her.

almost immediately she stops crying.

all you can do is sit back and watch in awe.

hyunjin has always been the favorite between the two of you, but you don’t really mind. she’s still your baby and of course she still loves you with all the emotion she can process at six months old.

she’s such a daddy’s girl and it absolutely melts your heart.

you sit on the chair in the corner of the room, overwhelmed with drowsiness. through tired eyes, you watch your boyfriend sing a makeshift song to try and get your daughter back to sleep.

“i think she’s hungry” he says as he turns to you sitting behind him.

except you’re sound asleep.

so once he’s finished feeding your daughter and putting her back to sleep, he gently scoops you from the chair, careful not to wake you— though not successful— and takes you back to bed.

you let out a whine in protest of him disturbing your sleep, but that doesn’t stop him from ensuring you’re comfortable. he tucks you in before then tucking himself in, settling into your previous position with your limbs intertwined, and placing kisses on your temple with some incoherent whispers in between.

forget his career, he’d rather spend his life taking care of the two of you if it meant moments like this.

a/n: i literally wrote this months ago and never posted it but baby fever got the best of me 💔

so cutee */becomes a christmas lantern

hyunjin with glasses and a tiny ponytail brainrot

fluff and kissing and Hyune is too pretty and suggestive in the end (so mdni)

also can you tell I'm obsessed with the imagery of hyunjin and lipstick stains????? this is a recurrent theme atp

you're sitting on the bathroom countertop, knees tightly hugged to your chest as hyunjin brushes his teeth next to you. it's a bit silly, you admit, to watch in silence while he completes the most mundane tasks. but every second spent not looking at him feels like a wasted one to you.

"put this on for me?" he suddenly asks, his golden necklace dangling between his fingers, a sweet smile brightening his face. you nod, as hyunjin hands you the dainty chain and turns his back to you.

you swiftly clasp the necklace in place, before letting your fingers trail across the nape of his neck. "your hair's gotten longer," you remark, as you gently brush your hand through it.

"mm. do you like it?" he asks. and by the grin that can be heard in his voice, he already knows the answer to this.

"i do. very pretty," you whisper, as you gather a small section of his hair and twist it into a tiny ponytail. hyunjin turns around once you're done, and you pull him closer by the hem of his black cashmere shirt.

he's standing between your legs, strong, toned arms are on either side of your body as you tuck away some strands of his bangs, framing his face with them.

his eyes soften once they finally meet yours and you grin sheepishly at the impromptu hair updo, "you should put your hair up more often."

hyunjin tilts his head to the side, bringing his face closer to yours in the process. and you're suddenly blushing, profusely. you can't help it, not when he looks this pretty, his leg nudging your thigh every now and then. "it seems like you love my hair too much," he pouts, gently taking off your glasses and placing them on the bridge of his nose.

"does these fit me too?" he questions, his thumb rubbing featherlight circles on your bare knee. you can't speak, words elusive as your eyes run wild over his face.

you don't know exactly how you ended up this way- caged between his arms and dazed by how perfect he looks. you didn't even know that a tiny ponytail and a pair of glasses would affect you this much. but he's dizzying, in the most delicious way, and you suddenly don't want him to go out anymore.

"what? cat got your tongue," he smirks, as he grazes your cheek gently. the contrast between his mocking words and gentle touch puts your body on overdrive. it feels like a flame is blazing across your skin and yet you're floating in cold water.

"excuse me for being attracted to my boyfriend," you finally respond, tucking strands of his bangs behind his ear. "you can't really blame me, can you?" you chastise, your lips grazing the corner of his mouth. "not when you look like this."

"like what?" he giggles, before pressing his rosy lips onto yours.

"too pretty," you whisper against his mouth and he smiles onto the kiss, his hands finding your waist and holding it gently.

"i know how to make you prettier though," you grin secretly and he cocks an eyebrow at you in response. "close your eyes, for me. please, hyune?"

hyunjin knows he might run late if he doesn't leave in a few minutes, but he can never say no to you. so he closes his eyes, letting darkness surround him as he hears you rummage through a nearby drawer.

after a few, quiet seconds, you make hyunjin stand between your legs once again. your warm hands cradle his face, and then you press the softest kiss onto his lips. then his cheeks. his forehead. and the corner of his mouth. you kiss the tip of his nose and he goes to remove his glasses, but you stop him. "leave them on."

hyunjin's eyes are still closed, as your hands trail down his chest, before curling around his neck. that's where you place your next kiss, right where his pulse is wildly beating. you then move to the sensitive skin under his ear, and you can feel the goosebumps running across his body. "seems like I'm not the only one affected here."

"I never claimed not to be affected by you," he shrugs, and the sincerity of his statement makes the butterflies in your stomach surge ten times fold.

"open your eyes," you finally say, moving hyunjin to the mirror next to you, quiet giggles escaping your lips. there, he finds your red lipstick imprints all over his face, down the curve of his neck. soft kisses scorched into his skin, sealed in there forever.

"see, this is the prettiest you've ever been, baby."

hyunjin shakes his head, before standing in front of you again. there is a fond smile on his face as he runs his thumb across your red lips, where your lipstick is surely smudged by now. "you know i need to go out, right?"

"this should send off anyone who'll try to talk to you."

"as if I'll ever look at anyone else but you."

"you can't keep saying things like this and expect me not to pass out."

"then what should i do?" hyunjin smirks down at you, as you wrap your legs around his waist.

"you should stay home and ruin my lipstick even more."

"will the glasses stay on?" hyunjin muses, as he finally picks you up, his hands holding your thighs securely. you won.

"they will."

"and the ponytail too?"

"mm.." you run your fingers through his hair, tugging at it gently. "it will."

"i should've never asked you to help with my necklace," hyunjin chuckles as he leads you to your bedroom.

"why, do you regret this?" you question playfully and he shakes his head, lowering you onto the bed gently.

"no. not even a little bit."

oh to be loved by this man

Say yes to me

after your seven minutes in heaven, hyunjin wants to plan out how he'll finally confess to you. except you come knocking on the door of his rented cabin unannounced. at 10:53 pm. the perfect time for love, he comes to learn.

pt. 2 of say yes to heaven. highly recommend reading it first (it's short i promise and it sets the mood ajsjd)

a.n: and if i told y'all i wrote this in one go... when i say hyune possesses me i MEAN it... these two pics sit at the same table for me, and three people asked for a second part and i can't say no to you guys!! ENJOY, feedback is highly appreciated as always <33

There are a lot of things that Hyunjin wishes he could say to you.

How he loves you is first.

He never planned on keeping secrets from you. Ones he carefully tucked away at the corner of his mouth, ready to spill each time your gaze met his.

He still remembers when it all started vividly- how the friendship blossomed into something more for him, the way petals shyly unfurl on the first days of spring.

You were sitting next to him on the bench of your favorite park, ice cream in your hands. Hyunjin intently watched as you rambled about your latest essay, and the world seemed to fall into a tranquil silence, save for the sound of your voice.

Hyunjin suddenly found himself enthralled by the way the sunlight gently grazed your cheeks, painting them with the softest golden hue. One he tried to replicate many times in his paintings, but to no avail, as they could never live up to you.

How the light breeze danced upon your hair, swaying it gently from left to right. How your lips moved with each word, pulling him into an unyielding trance. Those very lips that graced his skin with kisses, months later, scorching themselves into his memory.

Sometimes it still felt surreal, almost too good to be true, that you left traces of yourself on him. That he had you graze his jaw and collarbones, tentatively, as if you were afraid to dive in fully. "I'd catch you", he wanted to say, "even if it meant I'd drown in the process."

He wasn't ashamed to admit that he took a picture of the lipstick stains you left on him. He didn't even realize they were there at first, that is until he went to Changbin's bathroom. There, under the dim lighting, he found that the blush creeping up his neck matched the shade of your lipstick. His body seamlessly entwined itself with everything that made you.

He felt like a shaky tree branch at your hands- dainty leaves falling at your feet, each one scribbled with love notes for you. And he could no longer contain this feeling within him. He was tired of this five month old secret. He wanted to be an open book, one you could read or toss around, as long as you'd touch it.

But he needed to gather his thoughts and plan how he'd say it. How he'd free this scary confession from the confines of his heart. He told you that you'd talk about it later, and it's already been twelve days since he's last seen you. He had to do it soon.

So he went to his cabin, the one he rents on the weekends when he needs to get away from the world. It's small, nestled away in a remote part of the town, with a golden chandelier dangling in its living room- it's where Hyunjin feels most like himself.

Hyunjin doesn't hear your car pulling up into the driveway. Or your hurried steps to the door. But he hears your urgent knocks, and he's confused as he pushes the doorknob down. Then he's worried when he notices that it's you, with puffy eyes and a slightly runny nose.

For a moment, he stood there, too stunned to articulate a proper question. You don't give him the time to properly organize his thoughts, anyways, as you take timid steps towards him, before wrapping your arms around his waist. Your cheek rests against his chest, right above his heart, and you're crying. Hyunjin can tell from the slight tremors coursing through your body; the very one he's hugging right now, tightly, securely, until you're pressed to him, like two pages of the same book.

His large hands are rubbing soothing circles on your back, and a myriad of questions swirls in his mind. But they can wait, until you stop crying- the one sight that can bleed his heart dry.

"You- you said we'd talk later," you say through hiccups, as Hyunjin's hand moves to the back of your head, gently smoothing down your hair.

"I did," he hums, slightly rocking you from left to right.

"Then why didn't you? You just... stayed silent. For two weeks."

"Twelve days."

"Hyune," you whine and he giggles slightly, pressing a soft kiss onto your temple.

"I'm sorry. I didn't know you were waiting for me."

"Of course, I was," you lean back, the sides of his black shirt scrunched up in your hands. "I was tipsy but I... I remember."

"What do you remember?" he asks, as his thumb gently brushes away your trailing tears. He knows what happened that night, he replayed those seven minutes in his head so much that he could recite them by heart. Every breath you took, every shaky exhale you let out. He remembers it all too well.

"What you said to me."

His eyes soften at the quiver in your tone. "Why are you crying then, hm?"

"Because you didn't talk to me and I thought you didn't mean it. And I- I can't handle anyone else lying to me. Especially you."

Hyunjin shakes his head, as the strings of his heart dance to the erratic rhythm of his pulse.

"I could never lie to you. Not when it comes to this," he says with the utmost sincerity he can muster. He pauses, a gentle smile etched on his lips. "I have tea."

"Tea sounds good," you respond quietly.

"Come in, then."

He let goes of you, but you remain close, your shadows merging together on the wooden floor. Hyunjin smiles softly at the sight- he too wishes he could become one with you.

His hands are shaking slightly as he brings the water to a boil. You're wandering around, admiring the cozy interior, and the questions in Hyunjin's head can't seem to stop. What does this mean? he wants to ask. Do you want me like I want you? But he bites his tongue. Not until you've fully calmed down.

One minute.

"Here," he says, handing you a steaming cup of Jasmine tea. He leans his head against the wooden wall, as the steam fogs up his glasses.

"Thank you," you smile, settling into the seat opposite of him. "I like your ponytail."

"Oh," his hands reach up instinctively to his hair, tugging slightly at the ends of it. "It kept getting in my eyes so I tied it up."

"It suits you," you smile softly, and Hyunjin finds that the galaxy's stars are all shimmering in your eyes. He imagines the milky way weeping for the loss of its twinkling lights; but they look prettier in you, he thinks.

"How did you know I was here?" he asks, bringing the sweet drink to his mouth.

"Changbin told me," you reply.

Hyunjin nods, his eyes holding yours over the rim of his cup. He's nervous, a shaky mess from within, and he's unfolding right in front of you.

Two minutes.

"Can I ask you something?"

"Sure."

"Do you believe in love at first sight?"

His question seems to take you off guard. Your eyes slightly widen, before softening around the edges.

"It seems too unrealistic. But I'd like to think it exists. And you?"

"Despite being a hopeless romantic..." Your chuckle interrupts his words, and he finds that the sound of your laugh is much warmer than the drink in his hand. "I never believed in it. Because love is much deeper than a superficial level. It could be infatuation or a crush. But not love," he pauses, idly circling the rim of his cup with his finger. "But then I realized I was wrong."

His eyes captivate yours as he leans back, his sole attention on you. "They don't call it love at the first look, but rather love at first sight... You know, the first time you truly see someone. And I saw you."

Your breath hitches in your throat.

Three minutes.

"I saw you. I see you. how kind, gentle, and full of life you are. How you turn the most mundane sceneries into extraordinary ones, because your eyes are filled with colors we cannot see. But I saw them through you."

He smiles softly, his hand reaching out to the middle of the table, right where yours rested. His thumb gently grazes your palm, as he starts to speak again.

"It hurt me to see you with someone else. But he made you smile, at least at first. And I love your smile, so I was happy for you despite it. Because you deserve joy in your life, even if I'm not the one behind it. But then he hurt you," he pauses, his eyes tightly shut as if it physically pained him to utter these words. "And it hurts me to see you in pain. Because you deserve a love as gentle as you."

Four minutes.

"Hyune..." you trail off, and he shakes his head, a reassuring smile on his face.

"You don't have to say anything. You're confused and still hurt but I just needed you to know that."

"Know what?" you ask breathlessly, your hand now on top of his. You're hanging desperately onto his every word, you needed to hear it.

"That I love you."

Your fingers intertwine with his, and Hyunjin believes he has never truly breathed before this moment.

"I want to love you too, I do," you're quick to say. "You make me feel safe like I could hand you my heart and you wouldn't hurt it. But you also make me feel alive and I regret not seeing you first. Not when my love was still whole and not bruised."

"So you could love me?" he asks, a beaming smile brightening his face.

"I came crying to you because I thought you left me, and I couldn't bear it. You have your answer," you giggle sheepishly.

Five minutes.

"And you want to love me?"

"I do. I want to see you and notice a new detail about you every day. But I'm so scared, Hyunjin."

"It's okay to be scared. I don't want to rush you. I can wait."

"What if you get bored? Or if someone else catches your eye. I can't ask that of you."

Hyunjin squeezes your hand and the thoughts in your head go silent.

"I've waited for months for you. If it's you I get at the end then I can wait for an eternity."

"So you'll do it?" you smile incredulously. "You'll wait by my side?"

"Mm. I will."

Six minutes.

You're both quiet for a while, and he's too lost in you to count down the seconds. But then you clear your throat.

"Can we start waiting tomorrow?" you suddenly ask, walking up to him.

"What do you mean?" Hyunjin questions, the butterflies in him fluttering so intensely he's close to flying away.

"We're both here now," you whisper, as you sit beside him, his thigh brushing against yours. He licks his lips nervously.

"Can I try something?" you ask again, but this time you aren't drunk. You are less heartbroken and more sure of your feelings for him. You want this.

"I'm yours."

Your fingers reach up to cup his face, thumb grazing his cheeks gently. His hands hold your waist, beckoning you closer.

"I see you," you whisper, placing a kiss on the corner of his mouth. "I'm sorry it took me so long to see you."

"Love at first sight," he responds breathlessly as your lips graze his, and his heart threatens to burst out of his chest- they'll find your name carved in his veins.

"I believe in it now, Hyune," you grin, before crashing your lips onto his.

Seven minutes.

There are a lot of things Hyunjin wished he could say to you. Sappy things, like how he believes you invented colors, that it drips down from your fingertips grazing his skin- explaining the red and yellow dots dancing before his closed eyes.

How everything seems to be heightened with you- the taste of the Jasmine tea imprinted on your lips, or the breaths escaping his body, eager to be released and to finally mingle with yours.

Or that he wishes that you were wearing your red lipstick so that your mark on him would last longer. A physical token of what you do to his heart.

But there was also much simpler words he wanted to say, ones that he managed to whisper in between tender kisses- "thank you for seeing me."

One year.

Your arms encircle Hyunjin's broad back, as you rest your cheek on his shoulder blade. "You know it's criminal for you to look this good in a simple white tee," you sigh wistfully, Hyunjin's perfume enveloping you both in an intimate cocoon.

"Good thing I'm yours then," he chuckles and you beam in reply, although he can't see you. Hyunjin is yours- he waited just like he promised he would. And now you're back in his cabin, where it all began, and he's making you Jasmine tea.

"And I am yours," you plant a kiss on his back and he turns around, a wide smile on his face.

There is still a sense of relief you find sometimes in Hyunjin's features when you tell him that you love him. As if he can't still quite believe it, even after a year of dating. It is the look traced on his face right now- a slight awe as he looks down at you.

"You said yes to me," he says so faintly, as if speaking to no one but himself, and you nod, placing a gentle kiss on his wrist.

"I'll always say yes to you."

just me lonely asf at 1am, reading some wonnie fluffs again */cries

head in the clouds 💭 | y.jw

synopsis you were enjoying a romantic picnic with your boyfriend in hangang park when all of a sudden a familiar face unexpectedly crashed (into) the date.

genre fluff, oneshot

pairing bf!jungwon x fem reader (feat. jake, niki)

warnings sfw intimacy, physical contact, kissing

wc 752

a/n had such a lovely time writing this one !! jw rly radiates romantic picnic date energy it just felt right ..) hope u enjoy !<3

with a contented sigh, you rolled over onto your back, gazing up at the afternoon sky.

‘aren’t clouds crazy?’ you murmured to the brown-haired boy sat next to you on the gingham picnic blanket. ‘like seriously, there are huge clusters of frozen crystals floating around up there and we’re just going about our lives paying no attention whatsoever,’ when no response followed, you propped yourself up on your elbows to look directly at him.

‘paying no… attention… at all…’ you watched him carefully. he sat not three feet away from where you lay, legs crossed and eyes glued to his phone screen. your words had clearly fallen short of reaching him in any capacity.

‘hey, earth to jungwon? hello???’ you punctuated the words with a prod to his knee.

finally, jungwon looked up. he blinked. ‘huh? oh, sorry, yeah, clouds,’ he scratched his head as he fumbled for the right words. ‘they’re… they’re pretty fluffy-looking. i think i’d quite like to pet a cloud,’ he offered.

another soft blink from those expectant doe eyes, and you had to fight back a smile tugging at your lips. despite giving this resistance your very best effort, you failed.

‘thank you for your insightful contribution to this intellectual discussion,’ you teased, causing his cheeks to flush slightly. ‘what, exactly, is occuring on your phone that’s that more interesting than clouds, then?’

‘erm… well, you.’

his cheeks reddened even more. you shot him a puzzled look. ‘ “me”? how d’you mean?’

in place of a response jungwon simply turned his phone towards you, showing you your own recent instagram post from earlier that day. he smiled shyly down at you.

‘you know, you’re much prettier than a cloud.’

you groaned at the sappy comment, covering your face with your hands, before eventually letting out a little laugh, deciding to embrace the ridiculousness of the whole conversation. ‘i wish i was a cloud,’ you joked.

‘i don’t,’ he pouted, leaning down towards you ever so slightly. ‘i don’t reckon i get to make out with a cloud, you know.’

now it was your turn to blush. ‘oh uh, no, i guess not. i hadn’t really thought about that…’ your voice trailed off as jungwon leaned in further still until his nose almost brushed yours.

‘i’m thinking about it,’ he murmured. before you could come up with a reply he pressed his lips to yours. your lips parted instinctively, moving to kissing him back.

all of a sudden you heard a faint shout from a voice you thought you recognised, and not a second later something came crashing into the side of your leg with force.

the two of you broke out of your kiss abruptly as you let out a surprised cry.

‘hey, watch it!’ jungwon shouted out to the figure jogging over to the two of you.

‘jesus, sorry!’ panted jake as he reached you, stooping to retrieve the rogue football from the picnic blanket. ‘sorry, sorry!! niki booted that one way too hard, totally lost control! i did call out to warn you but you must’ve not heard me,’ he looked down at you, face full of concern. ‘y/n, are you alright?’

sitting up, you nodded. ‘yeah i’m all good,’ you replied. relieved, the boy’s face relaxed.

‘you gotta be more careful jake, you could’ve actually hurt her,’ warned jungwon.

‘i know, i know, it was my bad.’ jake tugged the hair at the nape of his neck, clearly feeling awkward about his blunder.

‘don’t sweat it jake, really. i’m fine, won’s fine,’ you smiled reassuringly at your friend. ‘so no hard done.’ he shot you a grateful smile back, his anxiety seeming to dissipate.

‘y’know, i was gonna come over earlier to see if you guys wanted to join me and niki for a game but you guys looked kinda, uh… busy,’ he grinned sheepishly.

you rolled your eyes, and jungwon groaned, ‘ugh, get out of here already jake!!’

with a wink, and still grinning boyishly, jake turned tail and began to jog away again. after only a few paces however, a thought struck him, and he turned back, about to call your name out again, only to see that the pair of you had wasted absolutely no time at all picking up right where you left off. chuckling to himself, he let the thought go, and headed back.

‘are they gonna come join?’ niki asked as jake approached.

‘nah,’ jake shook his head, smiling. ‘head in the clouds, the pair of them, honestly.’

©jaywonjuice | do not copy or re-upload my work on any platform

[230908] Hyunjin🫧

Talk, Snuggles, And Kisses - P.J

pairing: jay x reader

genre: fluff

warnings: cursing?

☆…━━━━━·:*☆…━━━━━·:*☆…━━━━━·:*☆

“fuck… what do i do…” the stressed boy walks back and forth in his hotel room, thoughts running through his head. he finally sat down his bed and placed his hands on his face, feeling embarrassed of what he is about to do.

as a man in his 20s, it was probably embarrassing how he can’t sleep fully alone, hence why he has roommates. although he sleeps alone in his room at home, it was different. it was loud back home, heeseung often playing online with his best friend beomgyu, screaming at each other, so he feels alright knowing someone was there. but here, it was too quiet and it creeped him out.

your head raised up from your pillow as you heard a knock on your hotel room door, halting you from the random cooking show you were watching on the television. grabbing your phone, your eyes squint as the brightness of your phone blinds you, quickly adjusting it down. 2:03 am.

who the hell? you thought, hesitantly getting up from your bed. maybe it’s a drunk person mistaken your room with theirs? or what if it’s a creepy person? gosh you watch too many crime shows.

you let out an airy breath, peaking through the peephole of the white door, feeling relief once you see jay, who seemed to looked bothered.

opening the door, you felt yourself smile at the boy, whose ears were turning red. “i’m sorry, did i wake you?” shaking your head, you glanced back behind you, the television playing in the background. "no, i couldn't really sleep... same for you?"

he nodded, scratching the back of his neck. "um, do you think, uh..."

you tilted your head as the boy struggles with his words, making your heart flutter. it's cute how your boyfriend still feels shy around you. "what is it, jay?"

"can i sleep with you? i mean, next to you? if that's alright,"

you let out a giggle, nodding softly.

you gently took his hand in yours, rubbing your thumb on the back of his hand. “come in.” you pulled the boy in your room, before you let go of his hand to crawl back under your covers, patting the empty space next to you.

jay took no time and crawled beside you, already feeling comfortable compared to earlier when he was by himself. you looked at your boyfriend, seeing how much space he left for you, making your heart flutter. he was such a gentleman, and you love how he always ask you when it comes to intimacy things.

it’s a first time for you two as a couple to be traveling together, and this is also the first time you both get to be on the same… well, bed.

glancing at the boy who already was looking at you, giving you a slight smile. he wanted to be sure you were comfortable of him being there.

“you know you can come closer. we can cuddle.” you whispered the last part, feeling your heart beating out of your chest. “alright, only because you say so.” he responds.

he scooted closer, his arm lifted up, unsure where to place it, making you smile. taking his arm, you draped it over your waist, snuggling closer to his body. your arm have also wrapped itself around his waist, feeling comfy.

you were so close to him that he could feel your breath fanning on his neck, making him giddy. you felt his hand began stroking your lower back lightly, moving his head a bit so he could face you, wanting to see your face.

you look so beautiful, even without your usual makeup on. the way he looks at you makes you melt. he was admiring you like you were a piece of art, which he thinks you are. “how are you so beautiful?” he whispered, his hand finding its way to your cheek, stroking it softly with his thumb, making your eyes flutter.

although you had been dating for quite a while, you were still at that stage where you two were taking things slow, even kissing each other took a while. so this is still a very nerve-racking thing.

you slowly leaned towards the boy, pressing your lips on his, feeling him kiss back, his arm around your waist tightens. "i'm literally the luckiest man in the world, you know that?" that made your stomach flip, smiling into the kiss.

he held you as if it was the end of the world, not wanting to let you go. "i love you." he loves you, a lot. he knew that the moment he saw you, and he wasn't afraid to say it. you, on the other hand, know that you feel something special for him, but you aren't ready to say those three words yet, and you feel guilty.

"you're thinking about it again." jay pulls from the kiss, staring into your eyes. "i told you that it's okay if you don't say it. i can wait. i don't care how long it takes."

"sorry, it's just i feel horrible. i-" you looked down for a second before his hand lifted your chin, seeing him smile at you softly. "i will wait. i will always wait when it comes to you." you nodded and felt him stroke your hair.

jay kept stroking your hair, humming a song to you as your eyes slowly closed, sleep taking over you.

"i'll keep waiting for you." he mumbled into your hair as he held you. and he means it because, to him, you're always worth waiting for.

he soon quickly drifted into sleep after you, holding each other, comfy in each other's presence.

damn, made me feel all kinds of emotions 😭😭😭

⌗ 𝖬𝖸 𝖮𝖭𝖫𝖸 𝖫𝖮𝖵𝖤𝖲 …

SUMMARY. Confessions are made, bonds are mended, the past is left where it belongs — and at the end of it all, is the promise of a new beginning.

WARNINGS. drama ( it gets worse before it gets better ), a lot of talking, pretty long chapter, some angst ofc, and also keep in mind that things may not be resolved exactly the way you want them to

NOTES. so it’s finally here 🥺 you guys, it’s the end of the rmu series 😭 when i first started it, i never would have expected to grow so attached to it 🤧 thank you for staying up to this point and for all your love and support! without further ado, let’s go! 🩷 — includes: mila cover of “only” by lee hi request — “bold italics” speech is in chinese, but bold italics without speech marks are lyrics

PT. 1 | PT. 2 | PT. 3 | PT. 4 | PT. 5 | PT. 6 | PT. 7 | PT. 8

SO THIS WAS IT?

Mila found it somewhat hard to believe. On one hand, it was a long time coming — but on another hand, no one could have guessed that after weeks of pining and forlorn love sickness, Mila would finally see the end to the dark and seemingly endless tunnel of feelings.

She had spoken to the boys already — or rather, the four that she had made her relationship official with — and they all came to the same conclusion.

“We should tell the others…”

Mila hummed as she ran a hand through Niki’s hair, who laid his head on her lap. She was gathered in her room with Niki, Jake, Sunoo, and Sunghoon (since Kiara had mysteriously disappeared again), after the eventful past few days. That was when Jake suggested coming clean to the other members.

And surprisingly, the others agreed.

“The more of us there are,” Sunoo said, “the more difficult it is to sneak around. And I think it’s good if we tell them rather than let them walk in on one of us.”

Mila’s hand stopped running through Niki’s hair. Feeling that she halted her soothing movements, Niki looked up at her.

“I agree,” Mila said.

At that moment, Niki and Sunghoon both assumed that it was out of consideration. Because of the way they both stumbled upon Mila with one of the others. But little did they know that there was another layer to it.

And it was the fact that Mila understood what it was like — more than they could ever imagine.

Sunghoon nodded.

“Then, let’s do it.”

Mila looked around at the living room, where everyone was starting to get settled down. That meant everyone — as in, all nine members of Enhypen gathered for this one moment that would change everything between them. And of those nine people, four of them had no idea of what had been happening under their roof the past few days.

On one side, there was Mila, Sunoo, Sunghoon, Jake and Niki.

And on the other side, there was Jay, Jungwon, Kiara… and Heeseung.

“Noona?” Jungwon asked as he took a seat next to Jay on the couch. “What did you want to talk about?”

Mila bit her lip. “Well…”

She fiddled nervously with her fingers, before a hand reached out from her right and enveloped hers, before squeezing it gently. She looked up to meet Sunoo’s reassuring smile as he mouthed, ‘It’s okay.’

He turned to face the others.

“We have something to tell you,” Sunoo said.

Jay raised an eyebrow as his gaze flickered to Sunoo and Mila’s hands. Jungwon furrowed his eyebrows before leaning forward, his elbows resting on his knees and his fingers laced together.

“‘We?’” Jay asked passively, not giving anything away as to what he was feeling inside.

Mila turned her head to look at Sunghoon, Jake and Niki, who sat in a consecutive line down the couch on her left side. Sunghoon reached out and placed a hand on her knee, before rubbing circles soothingly onto her bare skin, which was left exposed by the shorts she was wearing.

Mila didn’t miss the way that Jay, Jungwon and Heeseung all gave it a cursory glance. The youngest of tro began to bite the inside of his cheek, with Jay remaining stone-faced, and Heeseung staring intently at where his hand lay on her.

The tension in the air was becoming too thick, Mila was scared she would choke up on her words and run out of the room in fright.

But she couldn’t. Not from this.

Kiara cleared her throat. “So… what did you want to talk about?”

Mila bit her lip.

It was probably better to get it over with, right? No more stalling.

She took a deep breath.

“We’re dating,” she blurted out. And before the others could recover, she clarified by saying, “And by that, I mean that I’m dating Sunoo, Sunghoonie-oppa, Jake-oppa and Riki.”

It was dead silent.

For a second, Mila wondered if she had simply said the words in her imagination rather than out loud — but one look at Jay and Jungwon’s faces and she knew that wasn’t the case.

Jay’s eyebrows furrowed as he tried to wrap his head around Mila’s words. Mila could never be afraid of Jay. Never. But at that moment, she found herself fearing what he thought and what he would say. Because if there’s anything she wouldn’t be able to stand, it was to see his — or any of the boys’, for that matter — ire directed towards her.

“So you’re saying… that you’re dating all four of them?” Jay asked. He then looked at the boys in question. “And you’re all okay with it?”

Sunghoon shared a look with Jake and Niki before turning to Mila.

“Well, it wasn’t easy to accept at first — for me, at least,” Sunghoon admitted. “But we all agreed to try our best to make it work… the last thing we wanted was to regret anything.”

‘Regret.’ What a strong word that was.

Mila couldn’t help the way that her eyes drifted towards Heeseung. This would be the first time she was able to look straight at him since they’re disagreement in the kitchen, and because of that she only just got a clear look at him. 

He had dark circles and a distant look in his eyes, and the whole time they had been there he hadn’t said a word. He looked like someone who had lost a lost sleep. And the thought made Mila’s heart clench.

Was he really that affected by what she said that day? Would she really not regret cutting him off like that? 

She supposed she would have to find that out by herself.

Before Heeseung could catch her staring, Mila quickly looked at Jungwon. He bit the inside of his cheek as he looked across the row of them, from Sunoo down to Niki. And though Mila wasn’t a mind-reader, she could tell he wasn’t thinking anything good.

In his eyes, she could sense… Anger? Sadness? Betrayal?

“So you decided it together?” Jungwon asked. “All five of you?”

Mila felt herself shrink at his tone of voice. He was definitely not happy — and why would he be? Something this big was happening behind his back, when he was supposed to be the leader.

Mila felt a pit form in her stomach as she thought about the moment they shared together, when Jungwon had opened up to her and even went so far as to ask for a kiss. Would he go back to being distant with her? What if he never talked to her again? She already lost Heeseung… she didn’t think she could handle losing him, too.

In her desperation, Mila turned to Jay, her eyes hopeful. However, he didn’t seem that much better.

It would be one thing if he looked angry, the same way Jungwon did — but he didn’t seem to have a single emotion on his face, as if keeping them all locked behind an undeterred mask. Perhaps she was too spoiled… but it was not a look that she was used to seeing on him. Nor was it one she wanted to be used to.

“How long?” Jay asked, his disturbingly calm voice intimidating Mila more than any yelling ever could.

“I-it’s been a few days now,” Mila explained, her voice wobbling. “Um, around two to three days for Sunoo, Sunghoonie-oppa, and Jake…” Mila inhaled, “but Niki was just yesterday—”

“Okay, Noona, that’s enough,” Niki said, reaching over to place a comforting hand on her thigh. “It’s okay.”

“Let’s not make this an interrogation,” Jake said, equally concerned about Mila’s overwhelmed state. “We wanted to tell you first so we could avoid something like this.”

“Well, what did you think would happen?” Jay ask Jake, his jaw clenched. He inhaled deeply, finally giving away the frustration he felt. “It’s one thing if it was just one or two of you. And it’s another if you guys want to start something. But for all four of you to go ahead with something like this without saying anything, when you all knew—”

Jay stopped in the middle of his speech. He turned to look at Mila — as if just remembering she was there — before sighing. 

Mila’s eyebrows furrowed. “Knew what?”

There was another silence. And when Mila turned to the boys at her side to see them all avoiding eye contact with her, instead opting staring at each other down (Heeseung, Jay and Jungwon against Sunoo, Sunghoon, Jake and Niki), Mila realised there was a lot more to this than she thought.

Kiara sighed. She stood up before putting her hands together.

“It’s obvious that you guys have something to sort out among yourselves, so I don’t think me or Mila really need to be here right now.”

Before Mila could protest, Sunghoon interrupted her.

“You’re right,” he replied, though his eyes were still on Jay. (And for a moment, Mila could have sworn that his eyes flickered over to Heeseung.) “There is.”

Sunoo shook his head with a defeated sigh, before turning his attention to Mila.

“Do you mind giving us a second?” Sunoo asked quietly. “I promise it won’t be long.”

“Right,” Sunghoon said. He turned to her, before brushing a lock of hair behind her ear. “Just give us a little time to talk about it between us, hm? We’ll be done before you know it.”

There was a small scoff from Jungwon, as if to say he disagreed with that statement.

Mila frowned. But when she looked around the room again, she had a feeling nothing would progress if she stayed in the room. Kiara was right; it seemed that the boys did have something to sort out between them.

And whatever it was, it looked like they needed to sort it out quickly.

With a small nod, she relented. “Okay… I’ll go.”

And she did. She wordlessly followed Kiara to their shared room, but not without one last worried glance over her shoulder.

The last thing she saw was Jay standing from his seat, before Kiara closed the door behind them.

“OKAY, LET’S TALK.”

Jay crossed his arms over his chest as he looked at the four in front of him. Jungwon remained sitting, but gave them a similar disapproving look from behind Jay. Heeseung shifted, leaning forward in his seat and propping his elbows on his knees.

“What’s there to talk about?” Niki asked, his eyebrows furrowed in genuine confusion. “We already told you what happened.”

“That’s what. What you said right now is the problem,” Jay said heatedly. “It’s not even about the fact that the four of you are dating Mila now — it’s the fact that you knew we all had feelings for her. But none of you ever mentioned that you were going to pursue her, or that you were fine with an open relationship to begin with.”

“If you had known that we were,” Sunghoon interjected, “would you have done something? Even if she didn’t feel the same way?”

Jay nodded resolutely, leaving not a single doubt to be had.

“I would have. I would have tried anything at all to make her love me back. Because that’s who I am, I do whatever it takes to get what I want. But I didn’t. Because I knew that if I did, one of us was going to get hurt.” Jay laughed humorlessly and shook his head. “I thought you guys would have had the same consideration.”

There was a silence where no one dared to say anything. Jake hung his head and Niki bit his lip in thought. It was true: they all had a silent understanding of everyone’s feelings for Mila, but none of them voiced what they were going to do about it.

And in the great mess of emotions and impulses they acted upon in their desperateness to make some sort of progress in their relationship with her, they jumped at the chance to make her theirs. But they didn’t consider what it would be like for each other. 

How could they? Love was both selfless and selfish; something that made you want to give everything up… but also to keep all of it to yourself.

“It was my fault.”

Every head turned in Sunoo’s direction as he clenched his hands in his lap.

“What do you mean, hyung?” Jungwon asked, speaking for the first time since Mila left.

“I was the first one to make a move,” Sunoo admitted. “Mila was never going to do anything to begin with, but I convinced her to date me by saying I wouldn’t mind if she wanted you guys as well. That’s why she agreed to all of it. And then when Sunghoon-hyung walked in on us kissing—“

“You kissed?!” 

Jay, Jungwon and — surprisingly enough — Heeseung all yelled in unison.

“Yes,” Sunoo replied. “And I’m not going to apologise for it, because I’m not sorry that I kissed her.”

Sunoo had a fierce look in his eyes, full of burning determination. If there was any doubt of his strength, that one look disproved all of them.

“But think of it this way: if I never did anything when I found out that she liked us all equally — as in all seven of us — then none of us would have stood a chance,” Sunoo reasoned.

It was logical reasoning, too. What he said was true: if he hadn't gotten Mila to accept her feelings and open up to the prospect of dating more than one of the boys, none of them would be with her now. And they likely never would be. Because the chances were, Mila would never choose between them, and instead decide to wallow in self-resentment while keeping them all at arms-length to save the trouble.

If that happened, no one would be happy.

Everyone in the living room was starting to realise this as well.

“She likes all of us?” Jungwon asked quietly.

If one looked closely, they could see a spark of hope in his dark eyes. And if they looked at Jay, they would be able to see the same thing — a burning desire to act upon the feeling he had been withholding for so long.

“All of us,” Sunoo affirmed.

Jake sighed. “I get that you’re upset that we did all this behind your back… and I’m sorry we didn’t think of your feelings like you did with ours. But we can’t really take back what’s been done.”

Niki nodded. “Right. What’s done is done. There’s no use crying over spilled milk.”

In another situation, the boys might have smiled and teased their youngest for his improving Korean. But not this time. None of them particularly felt like joking around this time — even Niki himself.

“Niki’s right.” Jungwon sighed. “There’s nothing we can do about what’s happened.”

“So?” Sunghoon asked, crossing his arms and leaning back in his chair. “Since we can’t go back in time, let’s just focus on the future now. The four of us—” (Sunghoon raised his chin and notions towards himself, Sunoo, Niki and Jake.) “—have already made our decision.”

“Now it’s time for you guys to make yours,” Sunoo finished.

With that, all attention was focused towards them. Surprisingly enough, the first one to say anything was Jungwon.

“I want to be with her too,” he confessed. “More than anything.”

Sunoo, Niki and Jake all smiled at his confession. Sunghoon immediately looked at Jay, urging him to give his response. As if this was the final verdict on a trial, and there would be no turning back from whatever decision he made at this moment.

Now or never, his eyes seemed to say.

Jay sighed before lifting a hand to his forehead, massaging the skin there as if he were getting a headache.

“I don’t like how rushed this all was… but I’m not going to give up the chance to be with Mila.”

Sunghoon raised an eyebrow, sending there was a ‘but’ hidden somewhere. And he was right.

“But…”

For some reason, Jay looked over at where Heeseung was sitting. The eldest had his head bowed and was fidgeting tirelessly with his hands. At that moment, they realised that he had barely said a word throughout the whole conversation — something very out of character of him, considering he was usually the one who urged them to reach an understanding whenever there was a disagreement.

“Hyung?” Jungwon asked worriedly. “Why don’t you say something? This concerns you, too.”

Heeseung let out a dry chuckle. If only they knew just how much this issue really concerned him. Heeseung could sense the worried look that Jay was sending him, but Heeseung didn’t pay it any attention.

This was something he needed to do himself.

“I also have something I need to tell you,” Heeseung started, piquing the others’ curiosity. “It’s something I should have mentioned a long time ago…”

Jungwon and Niki shared equally confused looks. Jake, too, seemed like he had no idea of what was going on. But Sunoo and Sunghoon had looks of deep concentration, as if turning the cogs in their head. Jay, on the other hand… he knew exactly what was coming.

 “So?” Sunoo asked on behalf of the others. “What is it?”

Jungwon then asked, “Is it something to do with Mila? You know… about why you guys were being so distant around each other.”

All eyes turned to Heeseung, ranging from suspicion to curiosity. It seemed everyone there was aware of the rift that came between Heeseung and Mila, and Heeseung wasn’t sure how to feel about it. He knew things were far from good — but for everyone to be aware of it…

Heeseung sighed. He nodded.

“I never told you guys. Only Jay knows about this, because I told him the other day. But me and Kiara dated.”

“WHAT?!” Almost everyone exclaimed in unison.

“When?!”

“Why?!”

“How did we not notice anything?!”

As questions filled the air, voices overlapping each other in surprise, Heeseung sighed. He knew this wasn’t going to be easy — but he had to do it if he wanted the others to understand why things were the way they were.

“Before you say anything, can you hear me out first?” Heeseung asked. “I want you guys to get the full picture — but at this rate, we might be sitting here all day.”

There were some looks being exchanged, as if in silent communication. Another day. Heeseung might have felt pride swell in his chest at how clear the bond between his members was. But now, he was too tired — and too determined to power onwards while he could.

They all nodded, agreeing to let him speak.

So Heeseung did.

He told them everything from beginning to end: the arrangement between him and Kiara, the way Mila had stumbled upon them kissing, the confrontation that led to Mila essentially cutting ties to him… Everything.

Heeseung expected to feel shame, to feel embarrassed by what he was saying. And some part of him was. After all, how could he not? His actions had led to Mila’s heart being broken — the one they could all swear they loved. 

But more than anything, he just felt relief. Like he was breathing in air for the first time after having his head submerged in water. 

And by the end of it, all was silent. The end of a storm. No crashing waves, no chirping birds, just complete and utter silence.

The first to speak was Jake.

“What a mess,” he said.

And no one disagreed with him.

‘A mess’ was exactly what this — what all of this — was. A mess of Heeseung’s own making, whether he intended it or not. Heeseung looked at the others, waiting for them to unleash their anger, their frustration, their insults at him…

What he got was very different from his expectations.

“You know…” Sunghoon ran a hand through his hair, a dry chuckle leaving his lips. “When I first noticed that you and Mila were distant, I was happy.”

“Hyung!” Sunoo shouted.

“What?” Sunghoon asked. “I was. And don’t act like I wasn’t the only one. Who here can honestly say that weren’t jealous of Heeseung-hyung?”

The room was silent.

“See?” Sunghoon asked, having proved his point. “It’s sick, I know— but a twisted part of me was hoping that you guys would stay like that.”

“Sunghoon,” Jay warned. “That’s enough.”

Before Sunghoon could respond, someone else beat him to the punch.

“No.” To everyone’s surprise, Heeseung was the one who said this. “I want to hear what he has to say.”

After all — first it Mila’s feelings for him, then Mila’s relationship with four other men, now this? What other struggles of his members was he blind to this entire time? Heeseung needed to know.

“Well, you heard me,” Sunghoon said. “I was selfish and I wanted to keep you guys apart, because I thought that meant I could have Mila to myself.” After a moment, Sunghoon scoffed and lowered his head in shame. “…But that wasn’t how I should have thought of things.”

Sunoo smiled as he realised where Sunghoon was going, a feeling of pride bubbling in his chest as he watched the older male come to term with his faults. Sunghoon, as if sensing his gaze, looked up and shared a small smile with him.

“Thanks to Sunoo, I realised how wrong it was to think like that…” Sunghoon turned his head and looked at Heeseung. “Nothing matters more than making Mila happy — and as much as I hate to admit it… she’s happier when you’re together.”

The other members couldn’t help but watch in awe of the maturity that Sunghoon displayed when he spoke. But none more than Heeseung himself.

“Sunghoon…”

Sunghoon smiled. “I guess what I’m saying is… despite everything, I want you guys to fix things between you.”

Jay nodded at his friend’s words. “We all do,” he said.

“I mean— Who are we?” Niki asked coolly. “We’re Enhypen.”

To say Heeseung was shocked was an understatement.

“You’re not mad at me?”

“How could we be?” Jungwon asked. “It’s not your fault. Yes, Mila was hurt, but… who’s to say you’re the only one capable of it? It could have been any of us that made the same mistake. It’s just that this time, it was you.”

“That’s right,” Jay said in agreement. “We all make mistakes. What matters now is what you’re going to do to fix it.”

Heeseung’s eyes scanned the expressions of the others in the room, his heart slowly freeing itself from its cage. He never would I have expected something like this — but he was all the more grateful. And for the first time after a long few days…

He felt hope.

“SO THIS IS IT, HUH?”

Mila turned to look at Kiara. As much as it was awkward between the two of them before, Mila couldn’t really stand to sit in silence. Not when the boys were making her anxious with their prologiend conversation (which still hadn’t ended by this point) and not when she wanted to be close to the older female again. The way they always have.

Kiara nodded. “I guess so… a lot has happened.”

Mila bit her lip. “Yeah.”

“I know it’s been kinda weird between us and all that. But just so you know…” Kiara turned to face Mila. “I missed talking to you like this.”

Mila smiled. “Me too.”

It was strange how easy that managed to get back on track. How easy it was to fall into conversation, as if everything that happened the last few days was nothing. But Mila supposed that’s how they always were: the two girls of the group, the two who always had each other’s backs.

They talked and talked, and suddenly, the anxiousness Mila felt about what the boys must be talking about was starting to fade away. And along the way, Mila even finally got to learn the reason why Kiara had been so consistently absent from the dorms recently.

“Youre dating Choi Yeonjun?” Mila let out a laugh. “You’re dating the legend, I’m dating four of our members… we came a long way from single teenage girls on I-Land.”

Kiara smiled. “You’re still a teenager, though.”

Both the girls giggled, before a comfortable silence overtook them. However, there was still an underlying question there, lingering between them —  one Kiara had been meaning to answer for a while.

“Are you still mad at Hee?” Kiara asked.

Mila was quiet.

Was she mad at Heeseung? She couldn’t really tell. Her emotions were a mess — one moment she was happy, the next moment she was sad, and then after that she felt too tired to feel anything. But nothing confused her more than Heeseung did.

Actually, no — nothing confused her more than the boys did.

She hadn’t met any people who challenged her heart and her thinking the way they did. The fact that seven distinct individuals, all so different in nature all had an equal hold over her heart was unimaginable. The Mila of a year ago never would have imagined it. It was hard to say what was what when nothing she had gone through was like anything she ever experienced before.

Mila hummed as she thought of Kiara’s question.

But before Mila could say anything, there was a knock at the door.

“Angel?”

Mila’s eyes widened. She immediately sat up on her bed, the action making her heart feel like it would fly out of her mouth. Mila shared a look with Kiara, before the latter quickly helped Mila fix her hair.

The boys were finished talking now? And that voice — it was Jay! Why was he here? What was happening?

“Just a second!” Mila yelled out panickedly, her heart beating rapidly against her chest. Once Kiara was done fixing her hair, she kept off the bed and flew towards the door.

She swung the door open.

And when she did, she almost choked on her spit.

“Heeseungie-oppa?!” she exclaimed in surprise.

“Sorry. I asked Jay for a hand.” Heeseung smiled awkwardly. “Can I come in?”

Mila swallowed nervously, unable to form words in her shocked state. She had just been mulling over how conflicted her feelings about him were — but now he had to show up at her door? What was she supposed to say?

That she hated him? That she didn’t want to see his face?

Or did she say that she loved him? That she didn’t want to go a single day longer pretending like he was a stranger?

“I— well— I mean—?”

But then there was a different matter: Jay was standing there, and she had no idea what to say to him either. Was he still mad? Was he mad at her? Did he—?

“I’ll leave you two to it.”

Mila’s eyes almost bulged out of their sockets when Jay brought Mila into his arms, his hand finding the back of her head and bringing it to the crook of his neck. She got a noseful of his scent, the strength of it making her weak in the knees, so she had to grasp onto the back of his shirt for support. They stayed there a little bit longer, with his hand stroking her hair. And then, as if that weren’t enough to send Mila’s senses into overdrive, he placed a soft kiss on her forehead.

“We’ll talk more soon,” he whispered.

“S-sure…?” Mila replied in a daze.

(At least she now knew he wasn’t mad at her —  but she wasn’t sure if her heart could handle whatever that was either.)

With that, Jay left. As if that weren’t enough to boggle Mila’s mind, Kiara suddenly stood up from the bed.

“Wel, I guess that’s my cue to go,” she declared. Before Mila could protest, she was already making her way out the door. “I’m going to visit Yeonjun-oppa. If you need anything — don’t call. You have seven other people in this house you can ask for help.”

“Wha— Eonnie?!” Mila protested. 

But it was too late. Kiara had left without so much as a glance over her shoulder.

And Mila was left alone with the man that both broke her heart and made it race.

Heeseung sighed, seeing Mila’s conflicted expression. 

“Milana,” he said softly. “I know we’re not on the best terms right now… but can we please just talk?” Heeseung pleaded. “I don’t care if you don’t want to say anything to me — just please listen to what I have to say? And if you still don’t want to hear what I have to say… I’ll leave you alone.”

Mila frowned. 

One on hand, she wanted to turn up her nose at him and kick him out the door. But on the other hand… she didn’t want to leave things as they were. Even if things were awkward, and even if things could never go back to how they were — at the very least, she wanted to end things with no regrets. She wanted them to say everything they had to say.

Mila nodded and sat down on the end of her bed. “Okay. You can talk.”

Heeseung sighed. For a few moments, he stood there, unsure of what to do. But then, he took her by surprise.

He got down on one knee, so that he was in front of Mila, looking up at her, his arms on either side of her legs.

Mila’s eyes widened. “What—?”

“I’m sorry.”

Mila’s heart became still. Did she just hear that right?

“I didn’t mean for you to get hurt,” Heeseung said. His eyes were wide and earnest as they gazed up at Mila, pleasing her to hear him out. “I made a mistake— I admit it. And because of it, you… your heart was broken.” 

Mila frowned. On one hand, he was apologising… but on another hand, what was it for? Mila could curse him out all she wanted as the bad guy, but the truth was he was anything but that. Frankly, Heeseung was free to make his own decisions. That meant kissing who he wanted, when he wanted, regardless of what Mila felt about it. She knew that. Deep inside, she knew it all too well.

But the heart wanted what it wanted. And Mila wanted him — so when she couldn’t have him… her heart convinced itself that she despised him for it. That it was his fault.

But it wasn’t. Not one bit. Deep inside, Mila knew this. And now it was time she accepted it too.

“Why are you sorry?” Mila asked quietly, her voice unnervingly calm. “Why would you be? You don’t really mean that, do you?” She furrowed her eyebrows. “I mean, you got to be with Kiara-eonnie. You should be happy—“

“No.” Heeseung's voice was firm in its denial. “No… she’s a good friend, yeah. But she doesn’t make me happy like you think she does. Not the same way you do.”

Mila’s heart skipped a bit. “What are you saying?”

“I’m saying that I was an idiot,” Heeseung said. “You asked why I’m apologising? Because I was too stupid to realise that you’re the one I wanted all this time—“

“No!” Mila shot up from her bed. She couldn’t control the way her voice shook, despite her efforts to keep it stable. She shook her head as if trying to erase the words from her kind. “Don’t say that. Don’t ever say that again.”

She witnessed him kissing another woman with her own two eyes — and that broke her heart into bits. It took her forever to get to this point. To be able to talk to him without breaking down into tears. But he was going to tell her that she was the one he yearned for all this time? What sort of cruel, twisted joke was this?

“Say what?” Heeseung whispered gently. “The truth?”

“Lee Heeseung, you’re the worst!” she said, tears stinging her eyes.

“I know,” he replied, his voice soft as ever, despite Mila’s rising tone. “I’m the worst because I never realised how much you meant to me until it was too late.”

“You liar!” Mila exclaimed. “I don’t believe you!”

Heeseung stood, tilting his head down to look at Mila so that he was a breath’s width away from each other. His eyes were sad, his heartstrings tugging painfully at the sight of Mila denying his feelings for her. And why wouldn’t she? He has done nothing to give her reason to believe him, and he wanted to change that more than anything.

“What do I do to make you believe me?”

He lifted a hand, as if to sweep back Mila’s hair, but she took a step back to avoid his touch.

“Nothing!” she said. “Just— I—ugh— I don’t know! Okay? And I don’t care! I don’t want to see you!”

Heeseung’s heart twisted as Mila edged away from him, until her back was against the wall, and her head was hung low. But there was no turning back now. No matter what Mila hurled at him, he was here to stay.

“Mila…”

“You’re a bastard, you know that?” Mila said, her voice shaking as tears fell down her face. “You kissed another woman in front of me and now you’re saying you love me and not her?” Mila let out a humourless laugh. “You’re crazy. I’ll never believe you.”

Mila was losing her mind. That much was clear. When Heeseung attempted to step closer to her, she grabbed one of the plushies on her bed and threw it at him. Heeseung caught it without batting an eye, before setting it down gently on the bed where it belonged.

“I can’t believe you—“

Another plushie thrown.

“You heartless—“

And another one.

“Inconsiderate—“

… And another one.

“Jerk!”

One by one, plushies were thrown. But each and every time, Heeseung would catch them and place them back on the bed until Mila had run out of both plushies and distance between herself and Heeseung. Before she could make a grab across the bed for more ammo, Heeseung pulled her into his chest and wrapped his arms around her.

“Where did you learn all those curse words from?” Heeseung whispered into the top of her head. “They don’t suit you.”

Mila ignored him. She weakly hit his chest, her sobs even more apparent.

“Let me go!” she said. 

Heeseung simply hugged her tighter. “I can’t. I don’t want to.”

He didn’t want to lose her. Never again.

“I—“ Mila hiccuped. “I hate you!”

A tear fell down Heeseung’s cheek. “I know.”

He buried his nose into the top of her head, as more and more tears started to build up. He had forgotten what it was like to hold her like this — to feel her heart so close to his and the warmth radiating from her figure, to feel the way she so perfectly fit in his arms. It was like coming home after a long trip away. It felt right.

“I said I hate you!” Mila sobbed.

Heeseung closed his eyes. “And I love you.”

Silence.

Heeseung sniffled as his eyes became flooded by tears, streaking down his face like rain down a window. His body shook slightly with each breath, causing him to hold Mila closer — if that was even possible.

“I don’t care how long it takes,” he said. “I don’t care if you end up hating me forever… I’m too selfish, and no matter what I do I can’t let you go.”

Heeseung tilted his head back so that he was looking down at Mila. Her eyes were all ready from crying and her cheek flushed from how much yelling she had done, but he couldn’t care less. There was nothing he found more beautiful than her, no matter what she looked like — whether she had just woken up, whether she had just finished crying, or whether she was looking at him like he was the worst of the worst. He loved every side of her that she could possibly show him. And he wasn’t going to give up because of a few insults.

“You can hate me and insult me all you want,” Heeseung said. “You can fight me too if it makes you feel better. Just whatever you do… please don’t push me away.”

Heeseung brought a hand up to wipe Mila’s cheeks, despite the fact that his own were wet too from crying.

“Please,” he whispered, as if in prayer. “Just let me stay like this with you.” He leaned forward so that his forehead was leaning against hers. “Please… my love, I’m begging you.”

For a few moments, Mila couldn’t say anything. Then, she sniffled, glaring weakly up at Heeseung. “I still hate you.”

“And I still love you.”

Silence.

And then…

“S-say it again,” Mila said weakly.

Heeseung inhaled. “I love you,” he croaked out.

“Again.”

Despite himself, Heeseung let out a laugh.

“I love you.”

And no matter how long it took for Mila to see it, he would never stop reminding her. And even after that… he would never stop saying it. It might take forever, but that was okay. He had time. Besides…

Any wait was worth it, if it was for her.

“WELCOME BACK.”

Mila and Heeseung had both just left her bedroom when she found all of the boys in the kitchen, waiting for them. She couldn’t help the way she rushed over, throwing herself at Jake, who had his arms wide open for her.

Jake chuckled and rubbed her back.

“We have something to ask you,” Jake said. 

Mila sniffled and pulled back from the hug to look at Jake questioningly. She then realised what was happening: the boys standing in a semicircle around her — with Heeseung joining them to stand at the end — while looking at her with smiles on their faces.

“Why are you all up to?” she asked sceptically.

At her question, Jake slowly let go of her before moving to stand in line. Mila, confused at why he was suddenly walking away, whined and followed after him, causing the others to chuckle fondly at her.

“No, no,” Jake said, smiling so wide his cheeks must hurt. He placed his hands on her shoulder and walked her back to the centre of the semi-circle. “Stay here.”

“Why?” Mila asked. “What’s happening?”

There was some more laughs, before Jungwon slowly walked up to Mila, his cheeks burning bright red.

“Wonnie?” she asked.

“We all decided he should be the one to ask you,” Jay said with a smile. “After all, he is the leader.”

Mila’s eyes widened. Her heart started to palpitate in anticipation, butterflies threatening to flow from her mouth as they flower around hysterically in the out of her stomach. She couldn’t believe this was happening — but at the same time, she very much wished she wasn’t dreaming.

“A-ask me what?” 

Jungwon went to stand in front of Mila, before clearing his throat. “Mila-noona.”

Mila blinked. “Yes?”

“I…” Jungwon started, his face serious, albeit very red from the blush on his cheeks. But after a few seconds, he started to giggle. “I had a whole script I was supposed to say… but now that you’re here, I forgot.”

The other boys laughed around the duo. “Ayeeeee.”

But Mila couldn’t help herself. Her eyes started to water — and nothing had even started yet. Perhaps she was jumping the gun a bit… but she couldn’t help the overwhelming wave of joy that swept over her.

“What is it?” Mila asked softly.

Jungwon but his lip, before reaching out to touch Mila’s arm. Then slowly, he dragged his fingers down, sending goosebumps across her skin, as his hands latched onto hers. He peered up at her through his eyelashes, eyes sparkling with unsaid emotion.

“I like you,” he whispered. “A lot.”

Mila’s knees felt weak at the sudden confession. But Jungwon wasn’t finished.

“We all do, actually,” Jungwon said. “We fell for you — harder than you realise.”

Mila’s eyes went across the room, observing the warm gazes in their eyes. There was no denying it; Jungwon was telling the truth. But then again, he was never one to lie about things like this — it was just that Mila had taken so long to realise what was in front of her.

But it was better late than never. And she was here now.

“I fell, too,” Mila confessed back. “For all of you.”

And it wasn’t easy, either. There were as many tears as there were smiles; as much pain as there was happiness. But it was worth it, Mila decided. They were worth it.

Jungwon smiled, his eyes holding a galaxy of stars within them.

“Then in that case… will you be willing to accept us — all of us — as yours?” Jungwon bit his lip before looking down shyly.

“I know we don’t have much at the moment,” Jay said. “If we could, we would have waited a bit so we can take you somewhere nice and then give you a gift—“

“No.” All eyes fell on Mila as she spoke. She swallowed, her eyes watering as a wide smile broke out on her face. “I don’t need any of that… all I need is you all with me.”

Sunoo stepped forward. “Well you do. You have us all — if you want us.”

Mila didn’t need to think twice.

“Of course I do!” Jungwon stumbled back in surprise when Mila suddenly threw her arms around him, but quickly caught himself in time and wrapped his arms around her in reciprocation. “Yes, yes, yes — a million times, yes!”

There was laughter. And then, one by one, all the boys gathered to hug her in the centre.

At that moment they knew, they were complete.

— 1 YEAR LATER —

“What’s this surprise you were talking about?”

Jay smiled as Mila tugged his sleeve, the other boys behind him as they followed her to the living room. It was April 21, 2022, marking a year since they all became official, and the moment the clock struck midnight, Mila was dragging them to the living room, claiming she had a special gift for them.

“Just wait and see!”

Mila softly pushed Jay onto the couch before rushing over to grab the TV remote. As she fiddled with a HDMI adapter cord to connect to her phone, the boys whispered among each other.

“What’s going on?” Jake asked. “Do any of you know what she planned?”

All eyes turned to Sunoo.

“Don’t look at me. I don’t know anything, either — I’m just as clueless as you.”

“Even Sunoo-hyung doesn’t know,” Niki said. “I guess she was serious when she wanted it to be a surprise.”

“Now I’m even more curious,” Jungwon said.

Before anyone else could say anything, Mila started to shush them, as she tapped away rapidly on the screen of her phone. “Okay!” she exclaimed. “Here it comes!”

At that moment, all eyes turned to the screen.

And what they saw shocked them.

It was a YouTube video — and not just any, either. It was a newly uploaded video on their channel that they were only now just seeing. And on the thumbnail was Mila, holding a microphone.

And judging by the title, was a video of Mila doing a cover of ‘Only’ by Lee Hi.

“What’s this?” Heeseung asked, his voice soft with awe.

Mila smiled as the boys all turned to her with questioning looks.

“I secretly asked the company to let me record this… because I wanted to give you something special for our anniversary.”

Without letting the boys ask anything else, she played the video.

Immediately, soft piano began to play… followed by Mila’s voice, sweet and soothing as she sang the words to the song, her eyes conveying every emotion that she felt.

No one would know. They wouldn’t know the song was for the boys, that the ones she was singing about were those in front of her right now. But the boys did. They knew. And they couldn’t tear their eyes away from the screen as they watched their girl give her heart and soul through her performance.

The reactions were varied. But none conveyed anything less than unconditional love.

On rainy nights…

Heeseung swallowed, realising just how far he — how far they all — had come with Mila. But especially after what happened between them… he didn’t know if he’d ever have the chance to witness such a beautiful moment like this. But here he was.

Or on lonely daytimes…

Jay smiled, as he reminisced all the feelings he felt the day that they came together as one. He remembered his desperation, the heartache he felt when he first thought he no longer stood a chance with her — all replaced by the gratitude he felt for having her now.

Please colour me with your shiny light…

Jake couldn’t help the giddiness in his stomach, as he thought of the words that Mila was saying in the song — and what he would give to hear them all the time. To always be with her, whenever he could. To be able to wake up to her smile and fall asleep with her in his arms.

I’ll do better…. 

Sunghoon lowered his head with a soft smile, as he realised the things that brought them all together, were one of the things he was lost grateful for. And despite his initial reservations, he couldn’t be more happy that they were all in this together.

When you promise we will stay together…

Sunoo teared up as his mind conjured all the memories that they had made together — and the prospect of all the memories they had yet to make, in their bright future together, wherever it was that future would take them.

Now I believe…

Niki bit his lip, as he thought of just how much had changed since he came to Korea. From that young, brash kid, trying to make his way in the world — to the young man he was now, who finally knew where he belonged.

With the one I was desperately looking for…

Jungwon inhaled deeply, his eyes watering, as he was unable to contain the feeling of pride for his members — and for himself. For how far they all came not only as individuals, but a group. How they all grew, because of the simple, but complicated, thing that was love.

My oh, my oh, my oh, my love…

Mila looked at all the boys, whose eyes were fixed on the screen, a tear falling down her cheek as she realised just how lucky she was to be with them in this life. How grateful she was that she got to meet them — got to love them.

Be my only love…

At that moment, they all — one by one — turned to face her. A smile crossed Mila’s face, before running over to them. Without a word shared, they came together in a hug not unlike the one they shared one year ago.

Every step we take, it’s like a dance we perform together…

But if one looked closely enough, they would notice that they held each other tighter, and closer than they did before. A testament to how strong their bond had gotten.

My oh, my oh, my oh, my love…

It wasn’t easy — but nothing worth doing ever was. They would have their highs and their lows; there would be the good times and the bad. They would cry, they would laugh; they would fall and they would fly. But no matter what it was that came at them, they would get through it — the same way they always had.

Together.

Be my only love.

— THE END… FOR NOW —

taglist: @lanamoonroh @3amstarlight @nikitopia @nee-issaire @one16core @onlyuyu @xinikons @clar-iii @shinrjj @curly-fr13s @euniceruiz11 @dearyjw ( couldn’t be tagged )

1am and crying for the felix one </3

request. you falling asleep on skz’s chest and telling them you love them for the first time in your sleep

sorry it took me so long, anon! but here is the request u sent me

BANG CHAN

— it would be a little late in the night when you finally fall asleep, maybe around 11pm. it’s one of the rare days chan doesn’t allow himself to fall prisoner to another all-nighter (not that it ever bothered you, but chan’s been making effort in spending more time with you in the present instead of in his head)

— he definitely sleeps better with you, how could he not? with your head on his chest and your cheek a little mushed and your lips in a small pout and your ear to his heart. it’s perfect circumstances to sleep and your breathing is such a lullaby to him, and a reminder to ground himself in the present more to enjoy moments like these. you guys don’t get to cuddle often so it’s nice to take everything in when he can

— chan’s just on the verge of falling asleep when you say it and i think he wouldn’t be able to believe it first (talk about an instant alarm ?). he’d just blink down at you for a moment before the sweetest smile plasters on his face, the crinkled eyes until they almost disappear and lip biting type to stop himself from smiling too much

— his heart would just expand tenfold because you really are the person he sees himself with in the future and to hear those three words he’s almost told you a million times before leave your lips is just so reassuring and so beautiful to him; that you love him back, and he can’t wait to tell you in the morning

— when he’s finally processed it, he’d lean down to kiss you .. just every part of your face. but like, he’s so careful about it so you don’t wake up

— he falls asleep maybe half an hour later because all his life his mind has been running and running and running but with you in his arms, and those three words, he feels so safe that he allows his mind to rest. sometimes, it’s enough to just let his heart beat and love

❝ i love you. god, i love you too. i’ve been wanting to say it for so long now. ❞

LEE MINHO

— i think lee know’s def the type to know he’s in love first because it’s such a drastic difference to suddenly consider you in everything when he used to never do it before and he’s not oblivious to his feelings. like he’s the same but also so different ? little gestures of love would build up to his light bulb moment that he is so in love with you and he wants nothing more than to tell you but he doesn’t want to scare you off

— you stay over at his house when it happens. doing schoolwork? cramming for a paper? somewhere along those lines. you never notice the time when you’re with him and suddenly seconds turn into hours and it’s too late for you to commute home and lee know’s mom used their car so he can’t drive you home either. just proposes you stay over bc it’s not like you haven’t done it before

— you two always spend silence in comfort so he doesn’t know you’re asleep at first when you say those three words to him and the way you say it is so faint that he almost misses it. but he doesn’t. he hears it loud and clear

— his heart swells even more when he looks down to see your eyes closed and your mouth slightly parted and his response is just the fondest expression on his face. the most endearing smile and a finger brushing over your features because wow, this is the girl that snuck her way into his heart and unknowingly stole every part of him

— would brush your hair out of your face to see you properly before finally whispering that he loves you too. he’d say the three words the next morning.

— years later, he’d always brag he was the first to tell you that he loved you but you’d never know it was you. it’s a little secret he keeps to himself, and the moment is so intimate that it’s his only

❝ ah, (name). you’re all i’ve ever wanted, did you know? ❞

SEO CHANGBIN

— for changbin, i truly believe there is no moment of sudden realization. he’s well acquainted with love like i think he’s most in touch with that emotion. he feels so deeply and i think he learned most of that from his mother. he wouldn’t be afraid to embarrass himself in the name of love. in fact, he thinks it’s the greatest feeling on earth and it’s something you shouldn’t ever take for granted (i’m sorry, i’m a softie changbin enthusiast)

— everything is steady with him. loves you more day by day by day but he’s always known he’s been in love with you and nothing is ever overwhelming with him like it’s always so safe

— when you say it, he feels his heart beat 98383 times faster because what do you mean the person he’s so in love with loves him back ? like i feel like it just doesn’t cross his mind honestly. like he loves you and that’s that and he’s satisfied with loving you but suddenly his whole world just stops when he hears those words

— changbin would try to keep his position still though, even though he feels like jumping around and spinning you around in his arms but he just doesn’t want to shake you awake from your sleep

— spends the rest of the night thinking about you saying that you love him. there’s nothing more beautiful than the reciprocation of a feeling of love so great

❝ i love you, and that’s always been enough for me, but god does it feel so great to hear it from you. ❞

HWANG HYUNJIN

— he loves like in movies, in books, in art. despite being such a hopeless romantic though, everything is actually so new to him. it’s only with you that he experiences that shortness of breath, that jumble of words, that all-nighter because you can’t stop thinking about the person you love the most, and those damn butterflies

— even the first time you fall asleep on his chest, he freaks out. and he freaks out even after the 9183th time but who can blame him? he may look like such an expert, such a poet, such a man of love, but he’s nothing more than a boy who’s falling in love for the first time

— so, it is the 9184th time you’re asleep on his chest and he has a hand running through your hair when you mumble it in your sleep

— FREEZES. for maybe a good 5 mins? honestly it feels like forever because he really is frozen. and then, that music plays. the music when the love interest shows up on the screen in movies. it plays in his head and his heart is pouncing like crazy and it’s just such a moment to be in love

— pulls you closer when he finally recomposes himself and has the most lovesick smile on his face for maybe an hour before he allows himself to fall asleep because this is all he’s ever dreamed of

❝ you’re someone straight out of my dreams. ❞

HAN JISUNG

— to me, jisung feels a little reckless when he loves. but like, not in a bad way. it’s more like, he’s been careful his whole life and keeping on a guard because he values his silence and his comfort over everything else but god, when he loves? he jumps straight in. he jumps even without the guarantee of anyone catching him. when he loves, there is no doubt, no second guessing. he simply dives head first

— he’s falling again, falling and falling, it’s never ending. even as you fall asleep on his chest one afternoon after watching a movie together

— he JERKS the moment he hears you say it like actually just jerks from his place and accidentally wakes you up from your slumber

— you freak when you wake up thinking that something must’ve happened because he’s staring at you with wide eyes but at the same time, he’s also apologizing for accidentally waking you up. you’re just in the process of asking him about it when he cuts you off by kissing you

— when you kiss him back, there is nothing in his head but “wow, so this must be the feeling of being caught” because he’s finally landed safely in your arms after all that falling

— don’t be mistaken though, he’d fall over and over again because the feeling of having you catch him is so addicting

❝ (name), is this real? ❞

LEE FELIX

— oh felix, the sweetest boy who falls in love in the sweetest way. definitely is the type to see colors brighter and hear music louder and just have all his feelings amplify because of you. stars come together when you look at him and he feels himself revolving around you like he’s just !!! there is no explaining how deep this boy loves. it’ll be like fireworks, like earthquakes, like thunderstorms but it’ll also feel like breathing and the quiet patter of rain. you get every variant of love with him because he’s so adamant on showing you every part of him

— you two cuddle up to each other all the time. he loves skinship, he loves physical touch, he loves holding you and being held and kissing you and hugging you and everything that makes it feel like you’re close to him so he doesn’t question when you fall asleep on his chest

— he’s on his phone, probably taking a picture or video of you when you suddenly say it. there’s just instant tears in his eyes the moment the words leave your mouth. he cries because he’s overwhelmed that you feel the same way about him and he’s scolding himself for being so dramatic over it but also he seriously cannot stop crying like what have you done to him?

— smiles and cries and laughs and leans down to kiss your head over and over and over and you can only ask why his eyes are so red and puffed when you wake up and he wastes no time to tell you that he loves you. drops it immediately. he’s been waiting forever to say it anyway (actually, he’s said it quite a few times but only when he thinks you can’t hear)

— won’t stop saying it anymore like every hour is a good opportunity to tell you that he loves you

❝ i can’t get over how beautiful it is to love and it’s all thanks to you. ❞

KIM SEUNGMIN

— the peak best friends to lovers story. seungmin isn’t the type to throw the feeling of love around. he isn’t the type to fall in love quickly either. he falls in love in moments you spend as friends, but it also kind of takes him such a long time to admit it because he’s always rejected the idea of romance and the gentle emotions that come with it. he’s so used to teasing and tough love that he suddenly can’t function properly when he realizes he’s growing softer because of you

— seungmin holds out from saying ‘i love you’, mostly because it’s hard to rid the stubbornness he’s carried all his life, but don’t get me wrong. there are so many times when he’s almost said it but stopped himself before he could. maybe it’s because he doesn’t want to startle you either. it’s a scary feeling after all, and being his best friend, you know about all his flaws. how could you choose to love him despite it all?

— even so, he is still powerless to love. no one can ever go above the feeling no matter how hard he tries. when you say it in your sleep, he finally lets go of whatever he’s been holding on for so long. he’s ready to willingly admit he’s in love with you and has been for such a long time

— he runs a hand through your hair, just thinking of how comforting it is to be with you, of how you make him smile without even having to be there with him. just the thought of you makes him so happy and it’s infuriating because why does losing to love feel so much like winning instead? is it because it’s you he’s falling in love with?

— would ask you if you’re sure because he’s someone that values sureness, honesty, and just Purpose. he loves on purpose and he wants to make sure you love him by your own choice too. he’s always chosen to take every step closer to you all his life

❝ do you really mean that? please mean it. ❞

YANG JEONGIN

— time always slows when you’re with him. he also gives me romance between friends because like seungmin, he’s not the type to take love lightly. he only ever says the three words in important moments. he never wants to just throw those words around because romance is so important to him, and he’s always been the one to seek for it because it’s so beautiful

— when he meets you, he just thinks, so this is what love is. he understands now why people tell stories about it, why it’s subject to so many songs. he understands when he looks in your eyes

— it’s an afternoon of teasing where your eyes meet and you just double in laughter because whatever the hell you’re talking about is so funny to only the two of you. the boys will never understand the language you’ve crafted for yourselves

— you fall asleep after having played games and ran around and teased each other all afternoon and it’s in his arms while the two of you are watching a movie

— when you say it, he falls silent. he closes his eyes and crosses his fingers and prays he isn’t just dreaming this up, might pinch himself even because it’s just so unreal to him that you love him like he might be the Foolish silly type but when he loves, he really does give it his all

— you wake up at one of the louder scenes of the movies and you’re like ??? why is jeongin staring at you like that so you’re like stop staring .. but he kind of just grins really LOVESICK and you’re like oh my god what is happening. he’s looking at you different and his eyes are softer

— with a yank of your shirt, he kisses you and mumbles how much he loves you against your lips

❝ i love you. and i will choose to love you everytime. ❞

OFF MY FACE ( in love with you ) ⋆ lee heeseung

pairing : basketballer! heeseung x fem! reader

genre : strangers to lovers, romance, comedy if you squint, she fell first he fell harder, love at first kiss, literally no angst no problems they are in love with each other

synopsis : he’s talented, he’s smooth, he’s funny, he’s the popular basketball captain lee heeseung! when you find yourself saving him from a predicament, you muster up the courage to ask this long time crush of yours for a kiss in return. his mind tells him it’s just another kiss given, but why does his heart keep accelerating at the thought of you?

warnings : cursing, kys joke, mutual pining, sickening love that leaves singles ( me ) crying for one chance, heeseung comes so dangerously close you might faint imagining it, slight jealousy, suggestive? descriptions of making out, heeseung kisses another girl like twice ( booooo ), cucumbers

word count : 7.7k ( i have absolutely no vocab left in my head )

nella’s notes : long fics are so hard to write i am not fit for this?! kudos to those amazing amazing writers because how… again, not my best ( I’m past my peak ) so please please please give me feedback. i will read it when i stop being such a coward and face the fact that this is extremely mid.

for astrid : thank you so sososososo much for constantly hyping me up and cheering me on during the writing process. you were the first person i ever gave a spoiler to and you really make me feel like i’m floating whenever you say that you can’t wait for this very fic to come out ( i hope it lives up to at least half your standards )❤️‍🔥😻‼️

for rim : thank you cat woman, george, the cavity to my toothpaste for beta reading and helping me improve the flow of the whole fic ++ dealing with my dramatic ass cause told you not to text one too many times😈🕺🤨 this is the middest thing i’ve ever churned out but you actually read it so you’re literally on top☝️

important

part one of hylfab series :: series masterlist

LOVE is crazy and unpredictable, like the storm that comes after a sunny day. It washes you, drenching your whole body and soul in it. And some people decide to run, seeking for shelter desperately while others decide to dance in the shower of nature, accepting the love the earth blesses them with. But you, you were the type who waited for it with anticipation, crazily in love with the thought of love.

You feel a drop and then another. A kiss. A kiss. And then another kiss.

i. when your grassy lips touch mine

“With seconds left on the clock, Decelis’ Captain Lee Heeseung looks determined to score a tiebreaker, he’s driving towards the basket, and with a layup he-” You watch the boy whizz through the court, light on his feet as he dodges everyone in his way.

The way he moves is magnetic, you think, and he jumps easily tossing the ball into the basket.

“Scores!” And you’re on your feet, eyes wide and mouth agape as your scream blends into the cheers of your fellow schoolmates. “Lee Heeseung has done it once again, he’s led his team into the semifinals of the HYBE Basketball Tournament!”

The final whistle blows and you watch as the basketball team huddle together, specifically at a number 11, who was patting your good friend Jungwon on the back. The sweat from his temple rolls down to his chin as he pulls his jersey to wipe it, exposing the tiniest bit of skin that leaves you blushing.

“Would it hurt for you to look away once in a while?” Minjeong says, rolling her eyes, “I know you like him but god, get a change of scenery or you’ll get bored.”

The tips of your ears turn pink as you turn your head towards her, rebutting, “One, looking at him is a change of scenery from looking at you. Two, I was literally looking at Jungwon so that I could go congratulate him.” She scoffs, rolling her eyes at your pitiful attempt to explain yourself.

“Y/n! Minjeong!” Jungwon yells, capturing the attention of the both of you as you stop your bickering to congratulate him. As you walk down the steps, your eyes move to Heeseung, eyeing the way his tongue darts out to lick his lips as he listens to his coach.

You think he’s gorgeous, how his hands move to brush his hair back and how his skin glowed under the harsh lighting of the hall. His gaze shifts to meet yours for a split second before returning back, nodding at something his coach said.

“Congratulations Won, you were amazing!” Minjeong exclaims, giving him a big slap on the back. “Yeah Won, you’re the MVP of this game in my heart,” you add, passing him a water bottle like you always do after his matches. He holds back a laugh and you shoot him a sharp glare, cautioning him not to embarrass you in any way, especially when Heeseung was right beside him.

Before he can reply, Heeseung returns, patting Jungwon on the shoulder. “I have to get something for Coach Yoon, see you at the afterparty later?” Jungwon nods and he smiles, gaze darting from Jungwon to Minjeong to you before taking his leave.

“You’d think from the way you look right now, it’s the first time you’ve seen his face. But from the amount of times you’ve watched him from behind, I guess it actually is.” Minjeong jokes.

“Kill youself,” you reply, cursing her under your breath. It wasn’t the first time she’s teased you about your crush on Lee Heeseung. Just as you were about to call Minjeong out on the way she acted with her crush, your phone rings.

“Shit, sorry guys, I can’t hang out today. My brother just returned home yesterday, and he’s here to pick me up.” You apologise as you hurriedly grab your bag.

“Sunoo’s back? Tell him we said hi, and that we can’t wait to see him around school again!” Jungwon says, as the two of them wave goodbye to you.

The sky was turning a dark shade of blue as you finally breathed in some fresh air, starkly contrasting the musky smell of sweat that occupied the arena. Humming a song under your breath as you made your way across the empty hallway to the academy’s carpark.

“Hey, is anyone there?” The sound of rattling and thumping breaking the serene silence you were walking in. You turn, eyes at work, trying to find where the seemingly familiar voice was coming from. “Hello?” Your eyes dart to the equipment store.You walk towards the storage room, easily turning the knob on the door, opening it only to find Lee Heeseung, in all his glory, holding a door knob?

“Thank god, someone heard me,” he heaved a sigh of relief, hand moving up yet again to brush his hair back – which came to be useless as the strands of hair returned back to their places on his forehead. “Thank you so much, Jungwon’s friend,” he says, tossing the door knob into an empty basket.

“Jungwon’s friend?” You ask, head tilting in curiosity.

“Yeah, aren’t you Jungwon’s friend? I saw you with him just now. Thank you again for helping me.” He replies, meeting your gaze for the third time today and you feel a little faint.

“I helped you,” you repeated, processing his words, “well then, you owe me,” a lazy grin spreading on your face.

“What?” he says, slight shock evident in his voice, “what do you mean I owe you?”

You sigh exaggeratedly, “I was busy but I still helped you, and now I’m late for a meeting with a very important person. So, you owe me.”

“Okay,” he trails off, “so you want me to buy you lunch?”

“Lunch? Huh, is that how you ask out all of your side chicks,” you joke, having fun teasing the oblivious boy in front of you, “chuck them in a smelly room with you then tell them you’ll treat them for lunch?”

He scoffs, eyeing you for the first time. He thinks you’re pretty, how you were drowning in Jungwon’s oversized jersey with cheeks painted in streak of Decelis’ renowned navy blue and white. “No lunch then, so what exactly do you want, hm pretty girl?”

You look him up and down, and he’s intrigued. He’s used to girls falling to their knees for him. The kind with shy personas yet starkly contrasting gazes, as if they were going to eat him up. But he’s never really seen the look in your eyes, like you had him where he was supposed to be, and he was obliged to listen to your every beck and call.

“How about, “ you pause, thinking, “a kiss.”

“A kiss?” Heeseung’s taken aback. Never in his life has he been asked for a kiss this directly, especially not from such a pretty girl like you. He watches as you look up at him, doe eyes and glossy lips, and he thinks he’s gotten soft. “Sure,” he agrees cooly, keeping his composure.

You wonder where the surge of confidence had come from as you tilt your head up, gesturing to him to bend down before you move in.

He catches a whiff of your perfume before tasting the honeyed vanilla of your lips. It’s sweet yet subtle and he can’t help but yearn for more. His fingertips dance on your waist as he pulls you closer, hair softly brushing against his face as he drowns in the cream-like warmth of you.

He thinks paradise is between your lips and he’s in a dream. Like his heart is a stone that skims across the ocean of your skin, leaving dents of throbbing desire with every touch of your tongue with his.

But before he can go any further, you break the kiss, a frown etched on your face as you wipe your lips.

“Ugh, what is on your lips? Do you use some kind of olive oil lip balm? That’s disgusting,” you say, looking up to him appalled. “Don’t know if it’s you or the girl you kissed before the game, but whatever it is, it’s nauseating.”

Heeseung’s taken aback and wants to refute, but you were already walking out of the equipment room, the back of your hand trying to rub off the lingering taste of grass on your lips. He scoffs at your disappearing silhouette, ignoring the slight disappointment at the back of his mind.

It’s fine, he thinks, it’s just another kiss.

ii. stomach, meet butterflies

It’s been four days and Heeseung still can’t get you out of his mind. Suddenly you were everywhere, at basketball training, five people in front of him in line at the cafeteria ( he counted ), and his eyes constantly wandered, sifting through the different faces just to find a doe eyed girl with a sharp tongue and witty attitude.

The arm wrapped around his bicep tugs him down, bringing him for a kiss. It’s bitter and sour all at once, and he can taste it, the hint of the grass-tasting product on Sooji’s lips.

“Hey, what product do you use on your lips?” Heeseung asks her, curious of the disgusting flavour of the girl’s lip gloss.

“You like it that much, huh?” She purrs, shifting closer to Heeseung. “It’s actually cucumber, all natural as well, makes my lips softer. My mother actually bought it for me when she went to –” Heeseung nods, tuning out the girl’s annoyingly high pitched voice as he finds himself looking for you in the midst of the crowd of the cafeteria yet again.

To his surprise, he finds you already staring at him and he awkwardly shifts in his seat, moving away from Sooji. He doesn’t know why, but it suddenly feels wrong to be sitting so close to a girl, kissing and touching Sooji who he’s barely had five full conversations with when you were around. ( even if you were sitting across the cafeteria )

Heeseung can’t hear your soft voice that keeps replaying in his head, so he results to just watching as you break eye contact to wave your hand at Jungwon, who was walking towards your table. The way your eyes sparkle as Jungwon approaches you and your friends, and the grin plastered on your face as you call him out by his nickname irks Heeseung.

‘Won’, one simple syllabus and a silly nickname. So why is he feeling envious?

You’re just another girl he’s kissed, nothing more. He thinks, trying to console himself. It didn’t matter that you were confident, hilarious, or the prettiest person he’s ever met. Nor is it about how your lips felt so so soft against his, the taste of delicate vanilla that stayed on the tip of his tongue.

“Seungie, are you even listening to me?” a shrill voice interrupting his thoughts, and he turns back, annoyed at the fact that his line of sight was no longer you, but a cakey face of makeup paired along with a sickening amount of perfume. “What was I talking about?”

“Uh…cucumber lip balm?” He’s dazed, all his attention on you, not sparing a single glance at the girl leeched onto his arm. He can’t help but be mesmerised at how alive you were as you laughed along with your friends, the strong glare of the sun somehow cradled your figure, like a natural spotlight.

It’s like you have him wrapped around your finger, unknowingly tying up his heartlines like telephone cords. And he doesn’t know what to do.

So he results in asking Cupid. “I’ve retired Hee,” she says, “I’m not cupid anymore.” Her boyfriend Jay’s arm slung around her shoulder, as he twirls the ends of her hair.

“I’m not asking for matchmaking, I just don't know what to do next,” He mutters, slightly embarrassed. He’s Lee Heeseung, the basketball captain who led his team to the championships, the guy who could get any girl he liked, yet he finds himself stumbling over one small kiss with you.

Jay examines his friend’s expression, “if she really asked you for a kiss, then why are you the one chasing her around, following her like a lost puppy?” The girl beside him stifles a giggle, unable to fathom how the tables had finally turned. That after constantly teasing the both of them for following each other everywhere, it was finally his turn.

“Am not,” he argues, arms crossed and eyebrows furrowed.

The couple looks at him in disbelief, “you’ve literally been asking around about her, looking for her every second you’re free, or do you not remember?”

Heeseung remembers. How could he ever forget when all he does these days is stare at you.

“You’re down, bad.” Jay’s voice bringing him back to reality, “so? She liked the kiss, right?”

Heeseung sighs, not knowing how to answer. He enjoyed it, but did you? Most probably not. Not when his lips were smothered with Sooji’s all-natural cucumber balm ( they make your lips soft, but at what cost? ) “You promise not to laugh?” he casts knowing looks at the duo who loved making fun of him, “she said my lips taste like grass.”

He watches as Jay and his girlfriend hold back their laughter, looking at each other in amusement. “Oh god, she’s way out of your league,” he says, “we have to meet her.”

Heeseung groans, palms rubbing his face as he deliberates why he ever came in the first place, “just fucking tell me what I should do.”

iii. if i had two hearts, i would fall for you twice

You think it’s pathetic; you’re pathetic — as you watch the boy you’ve liked for a year bend down to kiss a different girl with his lips, as if nothing had ever happened just a few days ago. Maybe you were being dramatic, making a big deal out of such a normal act from Lee Heeseung, but you couldn’t help but frown at the thought of your unrequited feelings.

Though you were the one who broke the kiss up, you had to admit it was one of the best kisses you’ve ever received in your life. An intricate memory of your first kiss with your crush that should be stored in the treasure chest of your heart. You wished it could last forever. But tasting another girl’s gloss on his lips made you feel so worthless, like you were a side piece – even if he wasn’t really yours to begin with.

“He’s a wuss, he’s a coward,” Minjeong exclaims as the both of you sit on the bleachers of Decelis’ indoor sports hall, “he gets the kiss of his life, follows you around school like a bitchless loser, and when you finally look at him he kisses someone else?”

You slap your palms onto Minjeong’s mouth, nodding your head towards the hall full of basketballers practising. “Way to be secretive,” you groan, “but I guess it’s normal for him to kiss people. Plus, he does not follow me around, he’s always with Sooji.”

“We literally saw him outside our class just now, looking directly at you through the window,” she comments, “you’ve definitely caught his attention.”

You sigh, watching Heeseung as he bends down to catch a breather, body flushed like roses as he mouths something to his teammate. And you think it would take you more than a lifetime to get over the boy. He never needs to know how you replay your conversation with him in your head all the time. The way he smiled when you opened the door, the lovesick feeling that only he could give you.

“No, I-” you start, turning to face Minjeong, before you are interrupted by her furious tapping, “yeah, you did, because he’s on the way here right now.”

“Hey Y/N, hey Minjeong,” he greets, standing in front of you looking like a god. Your eyes widen in shock as your name rolls off his tongue and you’re buzzing, burning, flying.

“Hey guys,” Jungwon follows, hands reaching out to ruffle your hair and you scream.

“Won, it took me such a long time to do my hair today,” you complained, whining as you glare at him in anger, completely forgetting the fact that your crush was right in front of you at the thought of your messed up look, “and your palms are sweaty.”

“This is the one I told you about, the brat,” Jungwon explains to Heeseung, a playful glint in his eyes as he points towards you. Heeseung looks at you, an amused smirk forming on his lips.

“I know what she’s like,” he says, “we’ve talked before.” Your heart squirms around your chest under his gaze. We’ve kissed. You think, as you calm the throbbing heart of yours.

“So,” you start, attempting to change the topic at the price of your embarrassment, “what brings the almighty captain of our basketball team here? Doesn’t really seem like you’re in need of any saving.” You trail off, smiling at the thought of getting back at him.

“Of course not, pretty girl,” he challenges back, neither of you backing down, “but if you want, you can save me anytime.” You don’t know when he moved in, so close you shuffle back.

And you think that God was so unfair, that the universe hated everyone but Lee Heeseung. Because it was criminal, how he looked so good drenched in sweat with flushed cheeks and pretty eyes so powerful one gaze could easily knock a faint hearted out.

“Do I look that easy?” You tilt your head, the tips of your lips curving up forming a sly smile, “you might be smooth, Lee, but I don’t save just anybody.”

“Well, thank god I’m not just anybody,” he mutters before moving back, a cocky smirk plastered on his face, “so, would you come save me?”

Heeseung’s words bury itself in every layer of skin belonging to you, and he owns every feeling that blossoms in the pit of your stomach when you think of him. You hear him, and almost plead for him to save you as you stargaze at the opaque galaxies in his irises.

“Since you so earnestly begged,” you answer, catching a small falter in your voice. And he crushes you with his reply.

“You promised,” the creaminess of his voice wrapping around you as the shrill sound of his coach’s whistle cuts the tension between the both of you. “See you soon, pretty girl.”

He runs off, leaving you tongue tied, numb, as your heart falls again and again.

iv. language is so miserably insufficient when i talk about you

Heeseung makes lists in his head about what he wants in a lover, like brown hair and a sweet voice. Athletic, and maybe someone soft, gentle, and caring to him. And it’s all bullshit. Because people aren’t lists and the girl he’s staring at across the hallway is showing him that.

You’re different from the list in his head, equipped with a sharp mind and a sense of humour that actually makes people laugh like they mean it. And he finds you spilling into him, but for once he doesn’t care. His veins brimming, bones soft, and lungs inflated as his lips smiles at the remembrance of the imprint of your mouth on his.

He doesn’t know when it happened, barely catching himself slipping away from his past antics of having random cheerleaders on his arms or giving kisses because he felt like it. Now, he felt the need to save. To save his unlimited kisses for someone, you, who stood across the hallway with perfume that smelt like a fleeting dream.

“Bro’s too love struck to even look at us when we talk,” Jake says, eyeing the boy with hearts in his eyes.

“Just go for it,” Sunghoon pipes up, “how hard can it be to get a girl?”

Heeseung’s head whips back, eyes slitted as he glared hardly at him. “You wouldn’t even know, you’re too busy arguing with that neighbour of yours.”

“Just give her flowers and shit, girls like that.” Sunghoon rolls his eyes, unable to even imagine why his friends were all so infested with their love lives now.

Jay slaps Sunghoon on his back, face contorting into slight annoyance. “Not all girls like that, you have to get to know her, what she likes, and what she doesn’t. Don’t take advice from a idiot who shows his liking by being a nuisance to his crush.”

“I do not like her, she is the most annoying person in the universe.” Sunghoon refutes. And Heeseung stares at the scene — of two of his friends bickering.

He turns to Jake, gesturing as if asking him to tell Heeseung his thoughts and Jake sighs, “not me bro, I’m literally fake dating my crush and she thinks every gift or kiss i give her is fake. You should listen to Jay.”

So Heeseung turns to Jay, face with an expression ever so vulnerable; with the innocence of a love struck puppy and the wish to become a lover.

“I mean,” Jay starts, and Heeseung’s eyebrows furrow in concentration, wanting to capture every last detail of Jay’s love advice. “Do you like her?”

It’s a simple question but it wrings the life out of Heeseung. Liking someone is simple, but admitting it is not.

And he thinks back, to the time when he felt as if he kissed the garden of eden on the lips, tinted mosaic love, heart soft in soft hands, warm fingertips grazing warm skin. He smiles, and fuck, he likes you. A lot.

He opens his mouth, but is too overwhelmed by the enriching feeling washing him down. So he results in just nodding, and for once his eyes sparkle; so bright it puts the sun to shame.

“Then go talk to her, ask her out, find out what she likes to do, what she despises, and go for it.” Jay answers, reminiscent of the time he first felt the intense feeling of love, of crush.

Heeseung doesn’t need to be told twice as he makes a beeline to you. It’s not the first time he’s approaching you, yet his palms are sweaty and his breath is staggered when he reaches you at your locker.

You look up from your phone to the boy who stands in front of you, shadow casted onto the screen of your phone. “Lee Heeseung, fancy seeing you here. What’s up?”

Your voice is tranquil as it kisses his eyelids, that he can now no longer see anyone but you. His mind turns a blank sheet — the flower petal used to write you the sweetest letter erased.

“Uh, Friday?” He stutters, and he mentally kills himself for losing composure in front of you. “I mean,” he pauses, catching his breath, “hey, are you free Friday?”

You stifle a laugh at the poor boy’s lack of speech, his obnoxious confidence replaced with fragile dandelions at the tip of his tongue.

“Sure,” he’s cute, “see you Friday Heeseung.”

And he feels like he’s scored a winning basket.

v. my heart is so full of you, i can hardly call it my own

The devil works hard, but Lee Heeseung works harder. With his muscular arms crossed against his chest, body leaning against the metal frame of your locker as he waits, like he has for the past hour, scanning the crowd for you.

“Sorry for the long wait, Heeseung.” you say as you approach. Hearing his name come out from your lips made the hairs on the back of his neck stand. He’s never known a better sound than his name on your lips.

“No problem,” he replies, staring into the same eyes that got him hooked and he thinks, “she’s so pretty, I could cry,” a pretty girl, his pretty girl with pretty hair and pretty eyes. “I’ll always wait for you.”

You look away nonchalantly, but he’s observant enough to notice the blush forming on your cheeks. “Okay, loverboy, if that’s what you want to do.” And he laughs, fingertips sliding around your wrist as he pulls you out of school.

“Hey! Where are you taking me,” you exclaim at the sudden movement from the boy who opens suns in your heart, “this is so ungentlemanly of you! Is this how you take all your side chicks out? Manhandle them?”

Heeseung stops in his tracks, turning his body around before pulling you in by the wrist. His eyes etched onto yours, “stop being such a princess and just follow me.”

And with that he continues to lead you into the mall, a winner’s smile etched on his face at the thought of your shocked expression.

He pulls you into the mall, guiding you to the arcade situated on the ground floor, professionally swerving through the crowd of children to the basketball machines tucked in the corner of the bustling place.

“This? You want me to save you, the almighty basketball captain, from an arcade shooting game?” You say, a baffled expression on your face.

“I hold the highest score, sweetheart,” he replies cockily, as he watches you scoff at his arrogance.

“Oh, so this is a challenge?” You say as you jokingly stare him down, and he smiles. He smiles because he sees the warmth in your eyes, so intense he was sure you could read all of his thoughts, everything he felt and thought about you, written on his pupils.

“Yeah, whatever you wish,” he mumbled to himself, his heart swelling at the sight of you so adorably eager to win.

You turn to him, snapping him out of his thoughts, “play with me, Hee, I want to see your face when you lose.”

And he goes mad at the way your eyes morph into crescents when you laugh, stars glittering your smile and your face so colourful. He slowly finds that with you around, everything's a blur and time moves too quickly.

You laugh and he feels…relief. Relieved that you simply exist, and he’s privileged enough to exist with you in the same lifetime, in the same world, right beside you.

It’s an easy win for you, but only because he’s distracted by the pureness of your giggles, his eyes constantly moving away from the metal netting of the basketball hoop to you.

“Loser,” you exclaim, sticking your tongue out in sheer happiness. It wasn’t often that you would beat a captain of a basketball team in his sport after all, “now you have to treat me to ice cream.”

He’s about to refuse before he holds himself back, wanting to blurt out how it was you who caused him the loss. “Don't’ be a sore loser, Hee, not everyone can be blessed with such immaculate talents,” you teased.

You are not wrong. You are immaculately talented with the way you spin his heart dizzy, lightheaded, drunk on the tiniest of memories he has with you. You may not be the world, but you are everything that makes the world good. And now that Heeseung’s met you, he thinks all he’s done in his life was just existing, not living.

A soft tug snaps him out of his daydream of you, tiny fingers bunching the fabric of his shirt. “Excuse me, can you help me?”

Before he can register the unfamiliar voice, you’re already bending down, squealing over the cute boy, “Aww, you’re so adorable!”

You interact excitedly with the little boy, eyes practically shaped into hearts as you stare at him in adoration. “I’ll help you, let’s go! Don’t ask this sore loser, he’s still crying over how I absolutely trashed him in basketball!”

Heeseung bends down as he gasps, feigning hurt. “You wound me, princess,” a hand on his chest as he entertains the small boy in front of him.

“Hyung, why is your girlfriend so mean to you?” His eyes wide as he asks ever so innocently, scratching the side of his head in confusion.

“Ah, he’s not-”

“Yeah, why are you so mean to me, my girlfriend?” He sided with the little boy, turning to face you. He’s amused as you shoot him a warning look, mind racking for a response in your flustered state.

He wishes that he could hear about all the thoughts flying through your head at the moment. He wishes that inside, there’s a garden blooming just for him.

Do you think about him the way he thinks about you?

The question gnaws at him, because even though he knows that you have had a crush on him, he doesn’t know what it feels like.

But maybe now he does.

It’s like he’s hell bound and you’re heaven sent, and he’s never really believed in love at first sight ( or kiss ) till he met you. But there was no other explanation, of why his eyes looked for you in the midst of the crowd even when he barely knew your name and just the taste of your lips, or why his pulse would jump whenever he hears your name even though he’s at the other end of the hallway.

You haunt him, and he loses sleep as he stares at the countless stars in the sky, looking for one that’s shaped like the stars in your eyes.

Pouting, you try to explain yourself, “he’s mean to me first,” you say, putting the blame on Heeseung. But to your dismay, the little boy doesn’t believe you one bit.

“He literally looks at you like how a dog looks at a bone,” Heeseung’s laughter rings through your ear and into your heart as the tips of your ear blush red.

“You make it seem like he wants to eat me,” you say, hands moving up to soothe the heat of your ears.

“But he looks like he wants to kiss you so badly,” and Heeseung wonders how the little boy is so accurate in his observations. You’re stunned, and he takes the chance to dip down, finally tasting the sweet vanilla dripping from your lips again.

“Come on, I’ll help you,” Heeseung says as he stands up, grasping the tiny hand of the boy, “my girlfriend is a little preoccupied right now.”

vi. one boy, thousand feelings

You presume that you’ll never finish falling in love with Lee Heeseung now that he’s planted himself firmly in the garden of your life, conducting the butterflies in your stomach with how he waits for you after school at your locker, in the same leaning stance that has slowly become familiar after the past two weeks.

You remember when you asked him why he waited in that stance, with his arms crossed leaning against the locker coolly. And you remember calling him a hypocrite when he said it was the position he looked best in, because all he was in your eyes was a loser.

Or because he always looked his best in your eyes.

Even so, with his charming tactics and smooth ways, here you are; with a sour aftertaste in your mouth and a sunken heart as Minjeong asks you about the basketball game this evening.

“So he didn’t ask you to watch him at the basketball game?” She scoffs, “what a boyfriend he is.”

“He’s not my boyfriend,” you reply, bashful at the intimate label. “And maybe it’s because he knows I always go either way.”

“But still,” she reasons, “with the way he goes around proclaiming and calling you his girlfriend, he should’ve at least asked.”

You sigh. Maybe it’s a sign, you think, a sign that he doesn’t actually like you as much as he seems to, a wake up call that this will never be real, that it’ll forever stay a coin that you’ve thrown into the wishing well.

“Don’t worry Y/N,” Minjeong consoles, “we’ll be going together, matching in Jungwon’s jerseys! Who wants to match with Lee Heeseung when you can match with the Kim Minjeong instead?”

A small smile forms at the words of your best friend, “okay then, let’s go get ready, I can’t wait to match with the Kim Minjeong.”

She squeals, pulling you into her room, where two of Jungwon’s white jerseys hung. And you spend the afternoon with Minjeong, giggling and gossiping, as you dress up to watch the basketball game.

The both of you finally reach the indoor hall, seated at the usually second row of your school’s bleachers. Eyes scanning the crowd of boys on the basketball court, only to find Heeseung in the midst of the chaos.

The gradual beat of your heart suddenly accelerates. No, you were supposed to be upset that he didn’t invite you, get your act together, you think to yourself.

Curse him, curse Lee Heeseung, because with that face and skill, it was near impossible to look away. He dazzles on the court, easily manoeuvring past everyone, and you’re way too distracted by trying to keep your gaze off him you barely focus on the scores.

‘Jungwon, I’m here for Jungwon’ is the mantra you tell yourself as you fix your gaze on your other best friend, who was proclaimed to be the upcoming ace of Decelis’ basketball team.

And he proves it himself, with the way he catches the ball thrown to him by Heeseung, eyes focused as he shoots a clean three pointer.

You and Minjeong immediately stand up cheering, hollering like crazy fans. “Oh my gosh, with the way he’s playing, he’s definitely getting mvp tonight instead of Heeseung.” A wide smile on her face starkly contrasting yours, “looks like lover boy isn’t doing so well today.”

Turning to look at him, your heart squeezes, not only because of your deep feelings for the boy, but also due to how drained he looks. Face pale as sweat drips down his hair onto the court in droplets.

You hate yourself. For not paying attention, for being petty, for missing out on how his legs tremble ever so slightly as he struggles to stand straight.

He looked fine at a glance but the more you observed his actions you realise how much of a bad shape he was in. A huge sigh of relief exits you when the halftime whistle blows and you fly down the stands to the barrier, sourness replaced with worry.

“Heeseung,” you call, and amidst the bustle of the hall he hears you clearly, jogging to you with shining eyes.

“Hey my pretty girlfriend,” he says with a small frown as he examines your outfit, “why are you wearing Jungwon’s jersey?”

You ignore the boy’s envy laced comment, “Hee, are you feeling okay? You didn’t look too good on court today.”

He musters up a tired smile, “only because a pretty girl is watching me, makes me nervous.”

You sigh as your words enter his left ear and exit through his right, “I think you should sit out for the last half of the game,” your eyebrows furrow in worry, “don’t overwork yourself.”

You wonder if the boy in front of you is even registering your words when you see the dazed look in his eyes, as if he was ticked off by something on you.

“Lee Heeseung, are you listening to me?”

“Why are you wearing Jungwon’s jersey?” He repeats, this time in a stern tone that sends shivers down your spine. His voice raspy as he asks.

“I always do, you know that,” unaware of the situation you were in, “not like it matters.”

“It does,” he grunts, “how can my girlfriend wear another boy’s jersey to my game, cheering his name, and waving a sign for him.”

“You never gave me yours,” you mutter under your breath, not wanting to seem too dramatic in front of him, “and I’m not even your girlfriend.”

A string of curses leave his mouth under his breath, and he pauses for a moment, “yet,” he says, “you’re not my girlfriend yet.”

And you feel like you could look into his eyes forever, memorise the mesmerising patterns of his irises. More than that, maybe you could recognize him by his touch alone, by smell even; you would know him blind, by the rhythm of his breaths, the loudness of his footsteps.

The call of Heeseung’s name breaks your gaze from his, and you gesture to him to go back. But his eyes are etched to your face, as if you were an angel bestowed upon him.

“Hee,” you echo his teammate’s calls, “your teammates are calling.” And he snaps out of it at the sound of your voice, nodding before placing a soft kiss at the corner of your lips.

“Wait for me,” he says, expression serious. And you liked it, how it softened slightly when he looked at you. Like the way he looked at you differed from how he looked at anyone else.

Heeseung turns away but you pull him back, fingers encasing his wrists, cheeks sullied the colour of love, “don’t strain yourself out there, you’re always the best player to me.”

You don’t know how your reassurance melts him, thaws him down to his raw emotions and bones. You squeeze his wrists, offering him a comforting smile, and he thinks he’s fucked.

vii. i think i’ll call you love !

Heeseung thinks the universe must hate him, as he blows his nose into the nth tissue of the day. He had so much planned; to finally treat you to ice cream from your previous date, and to ask you to finally be his girlfriend. But he thinks it’s all ruined.

He doesn’t know the exact moment he fell for you, nor did he know that he would fall. But he thinks that’s the beauty in it, that he wasn’t even looking when he found you.

“We could get ice cream,” he suggests, voice low and stuffed as he sniffs. Watching the adorable way your face scrunches up in disbelief entertains Heeseung as you scold him for not taking care of himself properly.

“Ice cream? When you’re sick?” casting a stern glance at the tall boy, “do you want to die?”

He smiles at your cute expressions, and god he wants to kiss you so badly. There wasn’t a single word in the universe to describe how he felt about you.

There’s nothing in the world he’ll ever find more beautiful than you. Not the sun. Not the moon. Not even the galaxy compares to the light you radiate.

Yes, as long as the last thing he’d see was you. He wants to reply, but instead a few coarse coughs exit his throat as his hands fly up to cover his mouth.

“I think you should head home, Hee,” you say, anxious for him, “you’re burning up.” Your hands push his hair back gently as you gauge his temperature from your touch on his forehead. “I told you that you should’ve sat out from yesterday’s basketball game.”

“Guess I’m in need of saving again,” he mumbles, resting his forehead on your shoulder, nausea drifting away at the smell of your vanilla perfume.

Your hand caresses him back, softly asking him to stand up before pulling him to the direction of the nurse’s office.

“No,” he groans, “let’s go out.”

You tsked at Heeseung’s childish complaining, “stop being such a big baby and follow me.”

“I hate the smell of the nurse’s office,” he whines, “let’s go.”

And he pulls you, hands encasing your fingers as he walks out of school. “Where?” You ask, not even trying to persuade the boy to go back, as if he would listen to you.

“Home,” he says, pulling you across the road, passing a few houses before he stops.

“This is your house? I never knew you lived so close to school.”

“You don’t know where your boyfriend lives?” he teases, masking the dizzy feeling in his head, “and yet I know so much about you. Like how you like to dance, how you’re called the pretty girl of your year, how you devour strawberry covered chocolates like you’re starved.”

You’re blushing and Heeseung is proud. “Asking around about me now, Hee? Don’t make it so obvious, or else people might think you’re obsessed.”

Maybe he was. Obsessed with you. He sees you before he sees anything else in the room, vanilla was never his favourite scent till he smelt it on you, and he’s tangled, blurred into you.

He unlocks the door and welcomes you in, watching as you look around in awe, “Oh my god, you look so cute here!” You point towards a framed picture of a baby Heeseung placed on the top of a drawer.

He flushes, quickly moving to turn the photo down before awkwardly changing the topic. “How about we watch a movie?”

“Didn’t we come here so you could rest?” You say, “You should go to sleep Hee, I’ll let myself out.”

He shakes his head furiously, distasting the idea of missing precious time with you. “No, let’s watch a movie,” he insists.

“Fine,” you sigh at the stubborn boy, “just for a while then you go to sleep.”

Heeseung randomly chooses a movie, unable to focus as he flops back onto his sofa. He moves his head, laying it on your shoulder, shifting to find a comfortable position.

And it’s silent as the both of you watch the movie, with Heeseung’s head propped on your shoulder, curled up against you.

Heeseung, for once, feels at peace. His head is void of basketball strategies or maths equations, filled with just you. With the lovely silken murmur of your breath, like an angel clad in wings and the soothing feeling of strawberries, cherries, and kisses during spring.

He can’t take it anymore, it’s killing him. He hates how nothing goes according to plan, how he couldn’t take you out today, tease you in front of the world and ask you to be his. But he guesses this is what love really is, not really showing you off, no. But more so the urgency to trace over the spots you last touched, a gentle graze, a pat on the shoulder, or even a simple hug. He feels you even when you’re not near, and your scent has perfectly settled into his senses.

“Be my girlfriend Y/n,” he blurts out, “my real girlfriend.”

You freeze up, in shock and he feels the need to explain, to confess, to cough up all the words that are stuck in his throat.

“I like you, so much I can’t put it into words. You’re stuck in my head, everywhere I go you’re the first person I’ve come to look for. Anytime someone looks at you, or speaks to you, I’m jealous. I want all your minutes and all your words. I want all of you, to myself, all the time. I-”

You cut him off, lips pressing against his. This is what it’s like to kiss Venus, he thinks. And he never thought a kiss could be such a dream. His heart intoxicated, his mind derailing into madness, anaesthetised bodies against each other as the both of you run wild like the fire in your veins.

Giving in and pulling away, taking it all in with smoke in the air, in the comfort of each other's arms and sedated beings. Just you and him.

“So, is that a yes?” He’s dazed and worried, worried that you would say no and he’d never be able to forget about you.

You crack a big grin, giggling at his stupid question. Your cheeks dusted in fairy red as you glow, “I guess you’re my real boyfriend now, Lee Heeseung.”

viii. i don’t know how you do it, but i’m forever ruined by you

Instead of the usual #04 on the back of your shirt, you’re donning a #01. Definitely because your boyfriend was a jealous brat, and not because you wanted to. ( Actually you instantly agreed when he asked you to )

It’s been two weeks and you’re absolutely sick. Sick of the butterfly galore fested in your stomach, and even more so of the handsome boy who owns it, constantly clinging onto you like he was right now.

“Babe, I can’t believe you’re not going to give me a good luck kiss, I’m literally going to faint right now.” He says, dramatically flopping into your arms.

“I know you’re weak Hee,” you say to the boy who looks extremely happy in your arms, “but I can’t be saving you all the time.”

“But you’re a hero. My hero.” He replies, his words working past the interlacing fingers of your ribs, there, into your heart. And you can and never will get enough of Heeseung, with his tall figure and messy hair, deep voice and words that come out of his mouth like waves you ride on into the ocean of love.

He says what he means and some people may mistake this for simplicity, but it doesn’t take a genius to cut into a heart. Especially with your boyfriend being a #01 idiot. ( your #01 idiot )

“Go to your teammates Hee, you’ve got a game to play.” You shoo him away, and his eyes widen, turning glossy as he crosses his arms at your words.

“Trying to get rid of me already? You hate me that much, huh babe?”

You huff, stepping into his embrace, hands snaking around his neck and his, your waist. You press a kiss onto his pillow lips, and you beg each other for warmth, till you’re rubicund flushed, till your lips and cheeks and sun-splotched.

He breaks the kiss, and both of you stay; forehead against forehead, your heavy breaths mixed with his. And he smiles, it’s sweet and easy, like milk, dribbling through your fingers in a laugh warm as the melting of a love scented candle. And it’s all the better for no one else to hear it. Because this is your loveline, this, you think, is living.

“Go kick their asses, boyfriend.”

bonus. somewhere far far away, in the land of eumpapas, nella presents ‘not so love letters’

Dear Y/n ( My Prettiest Hero ),

It’s been three years since we’ve started dating yet I’m still mad about you. This is the cheesiest shit I’m ever going to write so this is a warning to never use this as blackmail against me or show this to my family members when they ask you how I’ve been performing as a boyfriend. ( as if I’m not the best boyfriend in the world )

For the past three years, you’ve made my life so much easier to bear. My repetitive routines felt more lively, and you make my life better, all by just being you. In my long long life to come, it’s you, who will forever be the most special moment.

Though we may have argued over many petty things, especially during your senior year and my first year in uni, I wouldn’t change a thing. And I’ll choose you, over and over and over. Without a doubt, in a heartbeat, I’ll keep choosing you just like how you’ve chosen me.

Everything has a reason for falling, and I have you. I love you so much, I’m so glad heaven sent you to me.

Ps: stop laughing at my hair colours or I’ll replace your vanilla lip glosses with those cucumber ones you love.

A boy who's off his face, in love with you.

Lee Heeseung ( Your Hee )

exeunt. he kisses you even when the sun sleeps.

© eumpapas, 2023

just me sobbing again at 2am, cool.

voicemails yang jungwon leaves you while he’s on tour — fluff, established relationship, sprinkle of angst

heeseung | jay | jake | sunghoon | sunoo | JUNGWON | ni-ki

one. hi jagi, we just landed. are you okay? i filled up your refrigerator right before we left so make sure to eat well, okay? and yes, i know you don’t have time to cook so i made sure to order those pre-packed meals. they’re really good. i’ve tried them before. i trust you’ll take care of yourself while i’m far from you. promise me, okay?

two. it rained today and it made me think of you. you always loved when it rained. ah, i hope you’re staying warm. i left that hoodie you love so much. send me a photo if you wear it.

three. good luck on your test today. i know you studied really hard for that. you fell asleep on me so many times on call. i’m already so proud of you! the rest of the boys are cheering you on too. you got this!

four. good morning, my love. how are you today? did you sleep we— hm? ah, okay. jay says good morning too, by the way. i have to get to a schedule now. i love you!

five. i miss you so much. no one can calm me down like you do.

six. next time i’m bringing you with me. this is driving me insane.

seven. hi noona, it’s riki. i was gonna call and tell you jungwon misses you, but i can’t believe you bumped me to voicemail! anyways, jungwon misses you so much. and i think he was crying a while ago so i was hoping you could call him. no one gets him like you do.

eight. happy anniversary, my love. did you get the flowers i sent you? and the chocolates? and the food delivery for breakfast and lunch? i’m sorry i can’t be there, but maybe we can call after the show. i wanna spend today with you. thank you for loving me. one year? ah, that’s so crazy to me. thank you. i’d always prayed to find the love my parents shared, and i’m so happy i found it in you. i’ll make it up to you when i get home. we’ll celebrate again even if it’ll be months later.

nine. the boys wanted me to tell you that they miss you. obviously not as much as i do. i miss you the most out of everyone. always.

ten. i love you. goodnight. you’re eating well right? eat well. i love you.

crying at 2am. I want this man pls 😭😭😭😭

ten things hwang hyunjin says when he thinks you’re asleep — fluff, established relationship, a twitch of angst

chan | lee know | changbin | HYUNJIN | han | felix | seungmin | jeongin

just released a lee know long fic if you guys are interested to read! :)

one. it's been exactly a year since i picked up my paint brush again. god, i still remember when i thought i'd forever let go of art. i've learned to trade my dreams for security anyway, there was no point in indulging in something i had no future in. but then i met you, and i will never forget the moment i realized i was in love with you. that night, i painted until the sun was up. thank you for inspiring me again, my muse.

two. you hold light wherever you go, did you know? that same light you see in others lives inside of you too. i will make sure you know that, even if i have to tell you every day.

three. i think you look prettiest when you laugh and you think no one's looking at you. it always fills me with a warmth i've never known.

four. you make life so achingly beautiful for me.

five. ah, i feel so sentimental tonight. i guess, it's just the thought that years ago, i had my heart broken and i thought it could never get better from there. but you helped me make it whole again. maybe all that heartbreak was always meant to point me to where you are. thank you. thank you. thank you.

six. the loud voices in my head are a little quieter now. i think it's because of you.

seven. remember when chan had convinced us to go hiking with him and his significant other? oh my god, that was a disaster. and i know we said we'd never do it again, but some part of me wants to. maybe it's for the view, or the way you looked when we finally reached the top. you looked so beautiful. i really did feel a great deal of comfort being with you where the whole world didn't know. i didn't even think about the exhausting hike back. just that you were there, the only thing that makes sense to me, beside me. you said you hated it because you paled out, but beautiful things pale out—the sunrise, flowers, you. you’re the most beautiful of them all.

eight. i hope you love me as much as i love you.

nine. you will always have me. please don't ever doubt how i feel for you. i will always choose you, over and over and over again, in every lifetime. without doubt, without hesitation, without second thought. i will always choose you. again and again and again.

ten. i can't believe i've finally found the love i've been yearning for all my life. thank you. i love you. i'm a better person because of you. meeting you was the best thing to ever happen to me.

HIOOOOOOO it's a need to have a jungwon atp man I hate y'all why am I reading this at 3am

⌗ attractive things jungwon does ⨾

includes: fluff, kisses

wc: 0.6k

a/n: just me ranting abt him bc I love him

whispers in your ear

He does this alllllll the time.

If it’s a crowded place, or your attention isn’t on him

He leans in

OR

He grabs your face.

once his voice fills your ears your attention is just tuned in on him

he knows how you get flustered so he might just do it for funzies

“y/n~” “yes won?” “hi baby.”

You’re over here just blushing and he’s

‘:3’

flexes his arms (FORRR NOOO REASON. he’s a menace)

Usually your bf dresses cute and cuddly

Always wearing the comfortable baggy clothes

this man’s duality I swear.

But once in a while, when it’s maybe either starting to get warm or he just feels like it

He wears tanks top or just shirts that show off his arms

Just to laze around the dorm yk?

WRONG

Now he mostly puts them on because HE LOVES LOVES your reaction

Like you can be sitting on the couch waiting for him, or in his room

And he’ll just walk in

arms all out, no clothing covering them

And your eyes just go 0_0

“what’s wrong?”

“you’re wrong.”

You just can’t comprehend how your cute cat like boyfriend is flaunting his toned arms

When he sits next to you trying to watch a movie your just watching him

You gets SO HANDSY and he’s living for it

‘Cue his cheeky little smile’

When your hands are feeling his arms he likes to flex them

“No tank tops outside the dorms.” You mumble and he grins

“Yoiiii~”

NECK. KISSES. (I will not stress this enough.)

HE LOVE LOVE LOVESS greeting you like this

If he’s coming from behind you then he’ll just wrap his arms around you

and place cute tiny pecks on your neck

Mumbling a small hi against it to

Or even if you’re just greeting him with a hug

He always makes sure to lean down and place a peck on the nape of your neck

when he gets serious (aka leader mode)

HE’LL NEVER UNDERSTAND WHEN YOU TELL HIM HE LOOKS HOT WHEN HE’S SERIOUS

“So you want me to be mad at you?”

confused won (・・?)

At first he doesn’t believe you when you tell him

But then he catches you staring at him and you’re just

❤️👄❤️

Literally is just like “she wasn’t lying…”

SOMETIMES HE TRIES TO ACT SERIOUS OR ACT MAD

but he looks so adorable, just pouting

So you explain to him again that it just has to be when he has to be serious not forcing it

WHICH MAKES HIM MORE CONFUSED

when he gets jealous 🌚

HES YET TO KNOW THIS-

but golly- the way he gets so touchy and petty makes your stomach do backflips

Like if someone is staring at you in a way your beautiful bf doesn’t approve

He’s blocking their vision and is just glaring at them

Which leads you to before, he looks so hot when he’s mad

But it doesn’t stop there

He’s wrapping his arms around your waist and bringing you close to him

You’re just trying to pick a cereal and then you’re just met with his chest against your back

“You ok woni?”

He doesn’t answer, just resting his chin on your shoulder

When you guys get home though he rants about it

“I like when you get protective over me, shows me that you really like me.” You confess and he’s BLUSHINGGG

“Well duh.”

going to you when he’s stressed

He could be having a terrible a stressful day

He’s doing all of these showcases and fan events

Even though he loves engene

It just gets overwhelming for him

So when he comes home he always drops his stuff, taking off his shoes

Immediately calls for you

When he finds you in his room on his bed

He quickly lays on you

Wrapping his arms around you

Shoving his face in your neck

Will practically fall asleep when your hands meet his hair

“Long day?” And he just nods

He loves when you praise him

Even though he gets it a lot

Hearing he’s a good leader and he’s so strong from you matters the most to him

“Wanna eat?” But he shakes his head

“I just want you.”

Literally melting omf-

© 2023 aakomii — ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. REFRAIN FROM PLAGIARIZING, SHARING MY WORK ON OTHER PLATFORMS

3am and touch deprived. this imagine is just my touch deprivation in a fancy font because, damn, this is so well-written.

HOLD ME LIKE YOU ALWAYS DO — s.jaeyun

PAIRING: jake x fem!reader GENRES: angst, fluff WC: 8.3k+

WARNINGS: mention of cheating and toxic relationship (not between jake and yn). fights, bruises, swearing, mention of alcohol consumption, kissing.

NOTES: i love reading angst and i thought about this one for a while. of course it's all just fiction, jake would never subject himself to that kind of thing. and another, if you live/lived/know someone who goes through a relationship like that… be supportive, or seek support. you deserve much more and no one has the right to be toxic with another person. for absolutely nothing!

masterlist

"Hey, Jake?" your voice came out as a whisper, afraid to wake the rest of the house as you tiptoed to the kitchen. Your route had been interrupted as soon as you passed the living room, noticing the boy sprawled on the couch.

With a quick movement, Jake stood up and sniffled softly as he wiped the tears that were pouring down his face.

"Hi y/n, I didn't know you were here" the shaky voice indicated that, once again, that scenario was repeating itself. He didn't even have to look at you to know that Jake was crying again.

With the sound of your tongue clicking inside your mouth, displeased to see him like that, you approached in quick steps until you were standing next to him in the center of the room.

"Lori again? What did she—"

"Let's not talk about it, okay? Just…" Jake felt his lower lip tremble as he began to cry copiously again "Hold me like you always do, please?"

Never that you would refuse that request, so your arms quickly wrapped around the body bigger than yours for sure. Jake wrapped his arms around your waist and buried his face in your neck to keep crying until he had no more strength.

As he said himself, you've always done this. Ever since you started going to the house he shared with his best friends a few months ago. You met Jake through Heeseung, your university classmate and your best friend's boyfriend. Thanks to you Heeseung and Kimi were dating. And thanks to Kimi you started to meet at Heeseung's house and his friends more often in addition to the campus parties that were always going on.

These encounters resulted many funny stories, many moments when you would have movie sessions and hear Jay's scream echoing throughout the room – and him denying at the end that that sound had come out of his mouth – even though everyone knew who had done it. And besides the fun stories, you also got to know the little painful moments.

It didn't happen because you wanted it to, but Kimi and Heeseung liked to vent to you and that led you to be a good listener. Always trying to understand what was going on and even listening about how Sunghoon felt like a bad student or how Jay was frustrated because he didn't know how to propose to the girl he loved. Everyone was there to talk to you. Except Jake.

Jake was the one you had the least contact with since you arrived there, and the stories about it reached your ears before you even introduced Kimi to Heeseung. Because the boy was venting about how sad his friend was. The reason? Dating. Or as you heard his friends call it, hell on earth itself.

You spotted Jake at a few parties you attended on campus, he was always a nice guy, and from the cool stories Heeseung told, he was great. But his shine dimmed when he was betrayed by one of his teammates on the soccer team. Jake Sim was the epitome of beauty and kindness, taking away any and all stereotypes of the varsity player being a real son of a bitch. Jake was not like that, on the contrary. And with that said, many girls would fall at his feet and he would have an equally beautiful girlfriend. Who has been turning ugly in his eyes since Heeseung told the whole story.

Lori and Jake studied together for a few classes in the semester, which brought them closer and they started dating. Jake gave all of himself, thinking his growing love was reciprocated until he saw his sweet girlfriend clinging to the team's quarterback inside the locker room.

That's dumb and very disgusting, you almost threw up your lunch when Heeseung was telling you all that, almost punching your salad with so much anger that the tomato flew off your plate.

It wasn't a long courtship, by the way. Jake wouldn't consider five months something he could suffer through like he did at the moment, but what hurt him was all the deception he went through. To feel that while he was trying to give of himself, he was being stabbed in the back by the person he thought he loved next to one of the guys he thought was his friend.

"Bro code and lack of character, he has to leave the team" Sunghoon wanted to punch the face of the man who made Jake be in that state, but he asked Jay, the team captain, not to do that. He didn't want to be in a situation that wasn't his fault.

Or at least he wanted to feel like it wasn't. Even with the constant encounters with Lori and her newest boyfriend, she seemed to make it a point to humiliate Jake until the boy simply wouldn't answer her and walked out of there. For her, that was a victory. For Jake, it was getting out of there in time to not cuss out every last generation of her and not offend her. Because he was too good for this world. Jake, unfortunately, cared about treating well those who didn't even think about how he would look in that whole situation.

Because he still frequented a few common places, the boy kept running into who he least wanted to be on that whole huge campus. He wanted to avoid, sidestep or just not look at Lori in his entire life, but she sniffed. She sensed Jake was around and always had a way of wiping out what shred of sanity he had and making him feel bad for nothing.

"You never get tired of seeing me, do you Jakey" her voice had become unbearable to him, causing his stomach to churn at the mere fact that his nickname had left her lips "Miss me?"

"Never" he managed to speak a little more firmly, making her raise her eyebrows in disbelief. Lori couldn't believe this was happening, in her mind, Jake was suffering for something she had caused.

"Oh, how rude" she laughed, and he rolled his eyes. With a little more closeness inside that library, Lori raised her hands to touch Jake's face, sliding along his jawline "That's why I did what I did to you, I was so bored I needed some fun in our boring courtship."

And those were just a few things he listened to relentlessly until he went home late at night and cried all he could. That's how Jake finally met you.

Having movie nights at the boys' house that Jake didn't attend, you'd hang around to sleep in Heeseung's room because he was taking Kimi home and everyone knew he wasn't leaving. So between hearing any noise coming from your friend's room with your friend, it was better to sleep in his room and dawn with unkempt boys who still made a great breakfast together.

But your nocturnal thirst prevented you from lying in your friend's bed all the time, so as if your biological clock sensed it, as soon as Jake was in the room quietly crying, you went downstairs.

Your first date with him wasn't that long, Jake just apologized for scaring you and went upstairs to his room. The next few nights followed equally until you decided to dare. Before he could pass you and go to the staircase leading to the bedrooms, you gently grabbed Jake's arm.

He shuddered at the touch but stopped walking instantly while keeping his back to you. Your next movement stiffened the boy's muscles, but he felt strangely welcomed as your hands passed around his waist, landing on his abdomen as you buried your face in Jake's back.

"You can cry, it's okay to do that…" your words felt like magic to him, because after that day, Jake would unconsciously wait for you to come down to get water so he could feel your embrace again.

You never said much and he said even less, being aware that Heeseung had already told him the whole story he had been going through lately. So words could be spared and Jake wouldn't feel his tears getting stronger and stronger if he had to relive the worst moment of his life so far. He wanted to focus on just being held by you and maybe feel your breath against the back of his neck as you held each other tighter. It calmed him down in a way, and the boy had no problem admitting it.

And you would also admit if they asked you that lately, you asked Heeseung to sleep at your house more with Kimi so you could silently help Jake. Because you were the only one who could get something from him, at least. None of your friends had gotten a single word from Jake Sim. They would have called you a good luck charm if they saw you hugging him in that living room.

It had been two months since you and Jake's nightly encounters. By this time, Heeseung only knew how to sneak glances at you during class and sometimes write in the corner of his notebook some teasing with it.

Have you kissed yet? He wrote this time. You rolled your eyes, huffing at the stupid question your friend had asked.

No, idiot. Your answer below is from a different colored pen to indicate your sentence.

He seemed to take a moment, looking straight ahead when the teacher gestured near where you were sitting. The focus was on two students sitting right in front of you, so Heeseung sighed and went back to writing.

I think you two match. You widened your eyes and quickly turned to Heeseung, letting your jaw drop at that.

"What's your problem?" you whispered as low as you could, pulling him by the sleeve of his sweatshirt as you spoke.

"What? You're the only one he listens to" Heeseung whispered back, afraid the teacher would scold you both.

"Does that mean we have to kiss?"

"Look, from the number of hugs you've given each other these past few months, I wouldn't be surprised if you two have already kissed" he smiled showing all those perfectly aligned teeth you always told your best friend, one day you'd break them.

But it wasn't the moment, because Heeseung's line was now echoed in your mind. He could be right, even if only in the slightest. Because you and Jake were meeting more often at the boys' house, you made Heeseung's room almost like your own. Now, apart from crying a little less, he kept a gentle caress on your waist until he dozed off on the sofa hugging your body.

It wasn't something to complain about, but to think about because his friend sitting next to him could be an idiot with good reason. It would be a lie to say that you didn't think about kissing Jake. But not while he was crying, only after the whole weight off his back moment that he released you from his embrace. Smiling in your direction and kissing your forehead before walking you to Heeseung's room.

"You're thinking too much" your friend nudged you "Is it Jake's kiss?"

"God, I hate you" you huffed "I regret introducing you to my best friend."

"Hey, you introduced me to the best thing in life, don't say that" Heeseung pouted, you rolled your eyes, but laughed it off.

Taking the conversation that way could take the focus off your friend's fixation on you kissing Jake. It wasn't something to deny, but you saw yourself as his source of escape, someone Jake trusted enough to see him vulnerable. You also didn't know how much he'd healed from everything he'd been through before you could try something, so just hugging him might be enough for you. That would content you, at least.

And with that thought you let the class go on without any more problems, Heeseung also didn't write in your notebook anymore until the end of the period, when you both put your things in your backpacks and he held his shoulders to divert you from the crowd of your classroom.

"I'm starving" he grumbled as soon as you left, abandoning your shoulders so he could walk beside you across campus.

"Do you want something to eat? I'm meeting Kimi and Sarang in five minutes."

"Tempting, but I can't" he groaned sadly, throwing his head back dramatically when you both stopped walking "I have practice now and Sunghoon already got us something to eat before we play. Will you tell Kimi I miss her?"

"You two saw each other yesterday" you grimaced "You slept together, Heeseung."

"I can't miss my girlfriend? You're annoying, y/n" he came closer and hugged you, messing up your hair "Wait until this happens with you and Jake, I'll laugh at your face."

Before he could get a slap from you, Heeseung rushed away only hearing your grumbles behind him. The cursed and mumbling of other words that he couldn't understand because he was too rushed to meet his friends at practice. He wanted to run enough so he could get home in time to shower and finish something from the university before meeting Kimi.

"He's here, finally" Sunghoon celebrated when Heeseung appeared on the lawn. Panting but smiling, the boy greeted all his friends until he let his backpack fall off his shoulders onto the bleacher bench.

"Were you expecting me? How sweet" he feigned commotion as he took a piece of sandwich Jay had offered him. Gratefully, he bit into a large piece listening to the captain and one of his best friends say a few things.

"Where were you?" Jake stopped beside him, nudging him with his shoulder. Heeseung swallowed the food before smiling without showing his teeth, but Jake knew that smile well. His friend's response would be less than malicious or pleasant to him.

"With your secret passion" he said once he made sure there was nothing on his teeth. Jake kept looking at him trying not to bite his lips in anticipation, then Heeseung sighed and said low "I was in the last class with y/n."

Jake choked on his own saliva rather loudly, his teammates looking directly at Heeseung since he was the one eating. The boy denied it, turning his gaze back to Jay who was instructing how today's game would go.

"Where the hell did you get that from? For God's sake, Heeseung," Jake said in a low tone, not wanting to hit his friend because he was eating and might drop his snack.

"Come on, you two walk too close. It's not time to—"

"You know it's not like that" Jake interrupted him.

"So you've thought about the possibility?" Heeseung's eyes flashed in anticipation and Jake couldn't help himself, slapping his friend's arm and yelping in fake pain. It hadn't even been that hard, after all.

"Am I getting in the way of you two lovebirds?" Jay raised one eyebrow at the two, who just looked at him with an apologetic nod afterward "Okay, let's start practice."

Running across the huge field after getting ready with their uniforms and helmets, they split into subgroups to start their training. Nothing too different from what they were used to. Excited shouts when someone caught the ball and scored a point, or when they managed to knock their opponent to the ground. Sunghoon was the one who celebrated the most, even more, if he had knocked Jay or Jungwon down.

Jake preferred to stay in his seat, waiting for someone to pass him the ball or call him over to assist on a point. Quickly his eyes ran over his teammates and soon stopped on Heeseung. The boy had a twinkle in his eye that Jake couldn't see, but he smiled broadly every time he looked at Sim. In a mixing motion, Heeseung formed two beaks with his hands, linking them together as if to make his fingers kiss. Jake froze.

He'd be a big hypocrite if he said he'd never thought about kissing you because it had already crossed his mind. But see this, Jake was still trying to heal from something that had been haunting him for a long time. He knew it would be completely difficult to try something with someone else if his ex-girlfriend was still a burden in his life. Not because he wanted to, but because he just didn't know how to get rid of it.

Jake felt that need, and he knew Heeseung was right in some ways. Because it was impossible not to feel like kissing you every time your lips touched his forehead gently after he sighed when he was done crying. Your lips curved into a small smile as you spoke words of endearment close to his face. Jake held back so much internally not to pull her face close to his.

Even more so when you nestled into his body pulling him into a hug. Your body was much smaller than his, it was obvious, but the way you held him was incredible. Every time your face was buried in Jake's neck and the shivers he felt could be put down to the intensity of the moment. He wanted to think it was because he was crying and venting all his frustration at that moment, not because his breath was beating against his skin involuntarily.

Jake wanted so badly to curse himself for thinking about your reddened, ajar lips, while you watched him ramble through what had happened and looked at him carefully on every subject. He would get lost sometimes and try to pick up again because he was glazed over by your lips. Maybe kissing them was something he wanted as much as you did, even if he had no idea about it.

"Jake, look out!" Jay's shout snapped him out of his thoughts as Jake looked forward, realizing he'd spent too long thinking about what it would be like if he'd kissed you. The ball hit his helmet so hard that he fell to the ground in seconds.

"Fuck" he groaned in pain, eyes closed and squeezed together as shadows loomed around him. His friends were already close enough to cover all the sun that shone on the soccer field that late afternoon.

"What the fuck, man. Didn't you hear me call you?" Jungwon scolded him with a concerned tone of voice. Jake felt his body being lifted and he knew Jay had taken off his helmet, opening his eyes slowly to see all his teammates standing there.

"Sorry, I… I guess I got distracted."

"We get it" Sunghoon joked "What were you thinking?"

Jake opened his mouth to answer, then closed it when he heard a short laugh from Heeseung.

"Son of a bitch" he didn't have the strength to get out of Jungwon's arms, otherwise he would have run to the other to hit him on the head too.

"Okay, we'll take a break from practice" the coach announced afterward, hearing from Jay that everything was fine and it was just a scare.

As the boys dispersed across the field, Jake decided to sit on the bench for a while and breathe deeply as his head ached. Maybe from the hit or, at worst, from thinking too much about you.

Jake doubted himself when he accepted that invitation after soccer practice. It had been months since he had known what it was like to attend a party properly without having his ex-girlfriend pestering him. He knew he was missing his friends since he always partied – as much as possible – with the almost weekly parties of the fraternities of that college. The boy sighed, letting those thoughts be pushed from his mind as he filled his glass for the second time, having Sunghoon's gaze and Jay's smile accompany him as the beer keg hose finished pouring its contents.

"Are you sure you're feeling okay being here?" Jay asked when it was his turn to fill the glass. Jake drank some of the contents, smiling with the plastic between his teeth as he did so.

He truly appreciated all his friends' concerns. And he also felt a little guilty because this situation involved everyone he cared about, and not in a good way. Because everyone ended up, in a way, feeling bad about the state Jake found himself in… Since he met you. That last part was new to him ever since Heeseung started pushing his buttons, even more so after he brought up the subject of kissing. It was just making him nervous.

"I'm sure" Jake snapped out of his thoughts when he felt Jay's arm go around his shoulder. He looked at Sunghoon, his glass full and a wide smile on his lips "Where are we going now?"

"To look for Heeseung, he's arrived" Sunghoon announced and was led the whole way into the busy house.

"And she came, you know, right?" Jay's whisper couldn't have stirred Jake as much as he would have liked. Shit, the boy thought, was he really looking forward to her arrival that much? Why did Jake feel his legs getting shaky as he walked with his friend by his side? Even though he knew it wasn't, in fact, to meet just you. But knowing that you were there waiting for the boys was one thing that made Jake a little more nervous.

With that, the boy decided to drink the entire contents of his glass to try, in a useless way, to clear his throat which was already starting to dry out due to his state.

"You've all finally arrived" with Jay's announcement, Jake froze as he looked straight ahead.

There you were, completely perfect. He always saw you in casual clothes because the settings were his house or college. The times Jake had bumped into you at a few parties, they were quick things and he was always accompanied by Lori, so it wasn't like the guy really remembered what you were wearing. When needless to say, he barely had any fun at parties being with the other girl.

"How nice to see you here, Jake" Kimi approached him, quickly hugging the boy who returned the act of affection with the same intensity.

"I missed that, actually" he said sincerely, smiling when she pulled away to give him space. The space he knew he couldn't fill because he was shaking too much to move.

When your eyes locked onto Jake's, he swore everything stopped for a few minutes. No music was heard but the sound of your heartbeat speeding up just because you had smiled at him. That smile that he used to see during the last few months as you consoled him for crying like an idiot. But even more so, it was the smile he looked for almost every night, even through the tears, just to feel good and be able to sleep peacefully.

"Hi" Jake blinked rapidly at your proximity, noticing you were standing right in front of him.

Now all your friends had scattered and he hardly knew where they were, leaving you two alone – not to mention the world of people surrounding you – but that didn't matter. It was just you and Jake, through both of your eyes.

"Hi" the boy smiled finally "Would you like a drink?"

"I'd love one" you smiled a little more because Jake was smiling broadly in your direction now.

Without much thought, as if it were a natural thing, he took your hand and entwined his fingers in yours. In response, you squeezed his hand and let him guide you to where the drinks might be. And all the way Jake followed like that, holding hands with you as if it was meant to be. As if the two of you had to stay like that until you reached the kitchen.

"What do you want?" he asked.

"Hm… Beer?" you didn't know what you had, and you weren't going to start with something unknown either. Maybe beer could help you get used to the alcohol in your system until you interspersed it with other concoctions Heeseung would probably bring in the middle of the night.

Jake agreed with your request and went to the fridge to get a beer, and even that didn't make him let go of your hand, so you had to follow him walking beside him. With his free hand, Jake grabbed two bottles of beer and handed one to you, smiling in thanks as he closed the fridge to walk over to the counter.

"Want me to open it?"

"Please" you asked, and just at that moment, Jake released your hand to take the bottle and twist the cap with the edge of his t-shirt. It was a simple act, you had seen Heeseung and Jay do it when you went to the boys' house at night.

A normal thing between them. But why with Jake had it made you sigh? A silly sigh that had certainly not gone unnoticed by him. Because the boy had smiled so shyly that your cheeks were red now.

"Thanks, Jake" you said before picking up your drink and taking a long sip. It was hot, your throat was dry and you were nervous. Putting it all together and adding the fact that Jake's eyes never left your face, you needed to finish that bottle as soon as possible. And that's what happened.

By the time Jake opened his bottle and took a small sip, you had already finished yours and felt the bitterness of the drink in your mouth, grimacing.

"What? Is it that bad?" he laughed, pouring his bottle and taking a long sip since the two drinks were the same. Then another sip until he finished all the beer "You didn't like it?"

"I found it a bit bitter, I don't know" you shrugged, feeling the taste still against your lips.

"I think I can make it better" Jake didn't know with what courage he had pulled it out of his chest to make it come out of his mouth. And he also didn't know what courage he was having to be slowly pushed against your face.

His face inches away from yours, his nose brushing so slowly against hers that it was tickling lightly against your skin.

"With your mouth? But you drank the same thing I did" you were supposed to shut your mouth when you were nervous, or you'd spoil the fact that Jake Sim was leaning towards you, his breath hitching against your lips.

"I had a few other things to drink before you arrived too, I think that might help" he shrugged, laughing nonchalantly at your nervousness. Perhaps he was a little braver than you now.

"It's okay, you can try."

It was all he needed to hear to touch the icy fingers to your skin and pull your body to him. Touching his forehead against yours, Jake slid his head to the side to get his lips to fit slowly, torturously long before his lips brushed against yours. He started slow, just feeling the pressure of his mouth against yours before he asked for permission to intensify. You gave in you wouldn't be silly to deny something you wanted and that was instigating you as much as he was.

Jake's kiss, although tasting different from the beer you two had been drinking, tasted good. It was slow and intense, his hands squeezing you so carefully as if you were going to break at any moment. Your hands, on the other hand, rested against his cheek to feel the movements of his jaw as he kissed you even more. No speeding up so he could feel every inch of your mouth and no rush to tangle his tongue in yours.

"Jake, we— Holy shit" Heeseung cried out. Jake parted your lips from him in a quick pop but came back to seal them properly as he turned his head towards his friend who had just entered the kitchen.

"What is it, Heeseung?" he laughed at the older man's astonished expression, he swallowed an outraged cry as he bit his lips.

"You… You two…"

"What did you come to say?" Jake still had his hands on your waist, keeping you in place as your hands slid from his face to his arms, holding yourself against him.

"I said… I wanted to talk… About, you know… You know…"

"I think we broke him" you whispered, hearing Jake's laughter once more.

"Come on, Heeseung! Talk soon" the boy hurried.

Heeseung seemed to come to his senses and sighed loudly, unable to contain the huge smile that adorned his lips.

"Game outside in two minutes, the boys want you to go" he finally said.

Jake agreed with a small nod, looking at you this time.

"Want to meet Kimi while I go with the boys?" the concern in his voice and the intensity of his gaze made your knees wobble. You could only smile as you quickly agreed with a nod.

Jake kissed your lips once more, still slowly and holding your face between his hands.

"Holy shit, I love you both so much" Heeseung shouted again, jumping up and down from the kitchen door. Jake laughed against your lips and pulled away, pushing Heeseung out of the kitchen and letting you breathe a little.

It was your turn to look for your best friend and tell her what had happened. Your eyes scanned the huge room when you came out of the other room, not to mention the pair of eyes that stared at you all night.

"I don't believe it!" Kimi shouted as excitedly as her boyfriend did a while ago.

You laughed at her excitement together with Sarang, who hugged you non-stop almost knocking you down on the lawn.

"I'm so happy for you two, I swear" she squeezed you a little tighter, waiting for Kimi to join the pair to hug them too.

"Jake deserves this so much" Kimi whispered after she hugged you both "And so do you, after all, you've been with him all this time."

"We just kissed, come on" you laughed a little nervously at the statement of one of your best friends.

"But I'm being honest" she walked away with Sarang "It's impossible for you two not to have developed a crush on each other in this time of closeness…"

"Sure, it's months of helping him with all this shit" Sarang sat back down on the lawn, enjoying the night from the front of the house. She had these moments when she thought everything was too crowded inside, so she would call you and Kimi to join her for some fresh air "And you two are beautiful together."

"Visually and emotionally too."

"Idiots" you rolled your eyes, laughing and unfazed by it. There was no way they could have left you speechless any longer, why were your friends describing you so well? Was it too apparent how you and Jake were with each other?

"Okay, let's go inside. Y/n is turning red and we don't have any drinks for her to blame her embarrassment on" Sarang held her arms out for someone to help her up. You and Kimi joined in, pulling her off the ground and waiting for her to clear herself off the grass before you went inside.

Before your steps became solid back to the party, your eyes traveled to the person at the entrance. Your stomach almost churned at the sight of Lori staring at you.

You tried to look away and even felt Kimi's hand hold yours for a moment, maybe they could divert the path and go in the back, but something in you didn't want to go another way but to pass her. But the girl was quick to get down from the driveway and walk towards you.

"Y/n, right?" she asked as soon as she approached your trio of friends along with a friend of hers. The girl looked at the three of you with a disgusted expression, surely mirrored by Kimi.

"Do you know my name?"

"I had to go find out who the bitch who kissed my Jake was" at her audacity, the only thing you could do was laugh. Laugh with all your heart as you took a step forward, almost knocking the girl over by the way you leaned towards her.

"Yours?" your voice came out between your teeth "Claiming something you lost months ago? Please, honey, get better."

"Oh, y/n, where does all this courage come from to talk to me like that?" she pressed her forefinger against your shoulder, pushing your body slightly.

"Don't touch me" you slapped against her hand on impulse, seeing Lori's countenance stiffen. She ignored the fact of that and went back to pressing her index finger against your shoulder.

"I suggest you stay away from Jake, you know" her nail dug into your skin, and this made a sigh come out of your lips "It's only a matter of time before he comes back to me…"

"He'll never do that, I'll make sure it doesn't happen" you tried to smile and ignore the sting of her nail against your skin "And I told you not to touch me, bitch."

You felt your body being pulled back entirely, widening your eyes and wondering how Kimi had gotten so strong to pull you like that. But it wasn't her there. Immediately you found Jake's eyes riveted on you while looking forward, you could notice your other friends assisting the girl who was trying to get out of her own friend's arms.

Your tongue itched at the roof of your mouth to ask how he had gotten that far without you noticing, or your attention and anger were so well directed that you weren't even able to hear him yell from the front door when the game was over. Jake knew he had to run as fast as he could, thanking God for his position on the soccer team. He was fast enough to sneak up on you all and take Kimi's place to hold you back.

"I'll finish her off" Lori's voice brought you back to reality, finally facing the girl who was trying to get out of Hyunjin's grip and her friend's as well.

"I hope you make sure you do this well, because if I catch you—"

"That's enough!" Jake said sternly, but low enough that only you could hear him. Without waiting long – and knowing that you wouldn't leave without first trying a fight – he spun you around between his arms and used all the strength he had to pick you up and put your body over his shoulders.

"Jake, put me down" you struggled, knowing it was useless because the boy was much stronger than you and his grip on your body wouldn't be gentle enough for you to get out.

Your eyes were still agile enough to see Lori's even angrier face as Jake carried you over his shoulder into the house again, setting you down on the floor after he closed the door.

Without saying a word, he took your hand just like earlier in the evening, but it wasn't as subtle. The grip between your fingers would have hurt if it wasn't for the adrenaline still coursing through your bloodstream. He ran up the stairs with you, so quickly that your feet almost wobbled and tripped on some steps. Entering the room Jake had designated, unaware that it was a dimly lit room that served as a study area in the fraternity house.

"You have to let me down, Jake" you finally said, sighing heavily as he stood in front of the door after locking it.

"Only in your dreams" he smiled without showing his teeth, turning serious again when you took slow steps towards him.

"I need to" your teeth quickly clamped down on your bottom lip, taking a deep breath when he denied your request again "Jake, I'm not done talking to Lori."

"And you won't, y/n" he leaned in close enough that his face was level with you. Swallowing dryly with Jake's breath so close to yours, you closed your eyes "You need to do like me and ignore any shit she says."

His calm voice contrasted with his serious countenance. You let out a snort with your eyes still closed, feeling your whole body shiver.

"Of course, to see you look bad like that… Jake!" your eyes opened to meet his, so expectant that the boy would let you out of that room "She needs to hear me. I've kept this for a long time and—"

"And you don't have to do that, y/n. It's not up to you…" he didn't mean to sound rude and you knew he hadn't been, after all, Jake was right. It wasn't about you and his willingness to say anything to Lori was only to protect you.

"Just let me…"

"Stay away from her, please?"

Stop asking me like that, you idiot, you mentally screamed, knowing you'd already broken down the instant Jake's hands roamed your waist, pulling you closer to his body.

"But—"

"For me, can you do that?" a whisper so sweet against your lips as Jake slid his bottom lip between yours. You sighed loudly, letting your hands sprawl against his chest as you felt him hug your body even closer.

When you nodded slowly in agreement, Jake smiled weakly before taking your lips and kissing them gingerly. He wanted to take his time kissing you once more, feeling every little part of your mouth as he tried to calm you down from the little incident minutes ago. You could feel his heart beating against the palm of your hand and Jake could feel your rapid breathing gradually calming down against his lips.

The same way you had calmed him all those nights, he wanted to do it right then. Jake wanted you to feel all the care he could offer you.

The kisses, even as they intensified, never stopped being careful until you both needed to catch your breath and pull away from each other this time. No interruptions, no one watching. Just you and him.

"Now we can go home if you want" Jake said after a while, forehead still against hers and a smile adorning the plump lips reddened from the fresh kiss.

"Why? It's early…"

"I'm not going to risk leaving you down there right now" you didn't know Jake's level of concern, but seeing his gaze take over your entire face as he waited for an answer, it was clear he wasn't going to let you stay there unattended.

"Alright, we can go home" you sighed, receiving a grateful smile from him.

But deep down, something in your mind screamed that it wouldn't be easy to stay away from Lori. Because if she stalked Jake even after the breakup, what wouldn't she do to you after tonight?

You didn't know what was hurting more: the pressure of the ice pack on your face or Jake's glare in your direction.

Yes, you practically promised in a roundabout way that you would stay away from Lori. For him. But what about when she comes in with all the rage in your being throwing you to the floor of the university hallway? Should you stay quiet and just take it, or stand up for yourself and manage to twist her nose in the process? Of course, you did the second option without even thinking about the consequences.

It didn't matter that your best friends took you to the university infirmary, just to take care of the little bruises on your face while Kimi called Heeseung. That was the cause of the information and that was why Jake was in the infirmary room with you now.

He paced back and forth, his hands running through his hair frantically and occasionally squeezing his lips as he ran his hands over his face.

Now and then Jake would glance in your direction, catching your eyes on him or – often – seeing you with your eyes closed enjoying the fact that that ice was working on your sharp pain in your cheek.

"Jake" you decided to call him, annoyed by the sudden silence since he had walked in, only exchanging words with your friends before they decided to leave and leave you two alone.

He turned around, staring at you and waiting for you to continue. But nothing came out of his mouth. Just a sigh that he tried to ignore and went back to pacing around.

The silent treatment was making you nervous, even more, painful because it made your whole face contort from the expressions, while Jake barely said anything or mumbled anything. So you thought about getting up and abandoning the ice pack you were holding. Without making any noise, your steps slowly approached the boy who was now standing in the middle of the room with a loud sigh escaping his lips.

"Jake, hey" you called him once again, he turned around so fast by the fright of your voice so close to him. Seeing that your figure was only a step away, he sighed again. Their eyes dropped to the reddening on his cheek.

"What?" Jake finally said, the voice hoarse from lack of use making you – this time – sigh.

"Why are you acting like that?"

"I asked you, y/n. I told you…" his voice raising a little in pitch, he cringed and eased when he saw you shrug "I told you to stay away from her, but you didn't listen."

"Hey, it wasn't my fault!" a groan of pain left your lips as you felt your cheek hurt. Jake approached you so quickly that you barely realized his hand was touching your face now. "It was your fault" you whispered, making him widen his eyes and stop touching your face.

Jake stared at you for a while, hearing your breathing so close to him that the boy swore you could hear anything too. Even more so his heart racing even faster.

"My fault? But I… Why?" he cupped his hands and put them in the pocket of the pants he was wearing. It was your turn to move closer, your hands brushing against his shoulders to slide up to his neck, where you found support to intertwine your fingers in the back of Jake's neck.

"Well, I'll be honest, okay?" you asked, Jake nodding in agreement as his hands went to your waist. The contact made you sigh, smiling with a bit of pain at seeing him so reluctant in his words, but his actions showed otherwise.

You also felt your heart racing from remembering Lori's words, from every little syllable hammering in your mind while – ironically – a smile filled your lips. Jake frowned before he felt yours lean there. Faces close together as you continued to smile.

"She came in furious, screaming down the halls that I was a slut… Again" you shrugged, feeling a slow caress of Jake's fingertips on your waist. That wasn't going to make you lose focus, so to pull yourself together, you took a deep breath "I knew it would happen after that night, but what she said to me made me think about a lot of things."

"What did she tell you?" your eyes quickly traveled over Jake's face, the Adam's apple slowly swaying as he swallowed dryly. The boy's eyes in front of him were closed, dreading his words because, in a way, he could assume what was coming.

"After swearing at me so much, she said you two fought in the library…" Jake opened his eyes, already wide at you.

"Y/n, I—" you kissed his lips quickly to make him stop talking, without deepening the act because you needed to finish. When he understood your actions, the words died in your mouth and Jake remained still, already feeling his whole face burn.

"You finally stood up to her after months of this hell, Jake" your voice sounded cheerful, and with a hint of pride at seeing him finally get over it. Jake smiled just from being completely flustered and embarrassed, but your next words almost left him breathless "She kept wondering how you were able to fall in love with someone else" your face turned away just enough for your gaze to meet that of a static Jake "So you fell in love with me?"

Another dry gulp from your throat and you were able to turn Jake's lips ajar and quivering. He stared into your eyes, but his words wouldn't come out. Nothing was able to roll off his tongue and form something coherent to say to you.

Jake's fingers pulled away from your waist, his hands falling to the side of your body. He wasn't able to hold you while you were shaking.

It was true, he had fallen in love. And even more true, standing up to Loir was – a large part of it – because he'd gotten tired. Tired of all that humiliation she thought he should have to go through. The other part was because Jake, slowly, fell in love with you. Without effort, it flowed so naturally that when he realized it had been enough.

As he listened to his ex-girlfriend swear at him, offend him, and try to offend you as well, Jake stood up. He had never raised his voice with anyone off the soccer field. But this time the boy never felt so free.

"Enough of this shit, Lori. I don't care about you anymore" the look on the librarian's face would have been priceless if it weren't for the anger Jake felt at the moment. He saw the girl in front of him cringe, but pull herself together immediately to try and get out of the situation. He didn't, of course, raise an eyebrow when he remembered all the things she had said "You're going to leave me alone from now on. Because nothing you say to me will have any effect."

"Why?" she tried to laugh, failing when he lifted his lips in a smile "I know it messes with you, Jakey…"

"It did. Past" Jake's smile widened as he sighed to finish his sentence "I'm in love with someone else and she's taking very good care of me. Not letting me be affected by all that shit that comes out of your mouth."

He wouldn't stay in that place listening to whatever it was. Jake felt victorious after you left, even though he knew now that Lori had gone after you because she wasn't satisfied. It was true that you had taught her a lesson after what Jake heard from his friends, how you managed to defend yourself enough to put that crazy woman in her place.

But he also didn't know that Lori would count every word he said.

"Jake" your voice called him back to the present, blinking frantically when he saw you smile. As if catching his breath, Jake nodded his head. Enough for you to reach out again and pull him by the t-shirt he was wearing. Jake tilted his neck to level his face to yours, welcoming your soft lips that pressed against his.

The shared kiss was so full of feeling that he could only sigh against your lips as he fought for dominance inside your mouth. Jake's hands pulled you closer around your waist, pressing your body against his and being careful with the force exerted because he knew it could hurt if he tried any harder.

"I'm in love with you too, Jake Sim" your voice still being muffled by Jake's lips, who smiled between the kiss before finishing and sealing your lips with his.

That was music to Jake's ears. To feel good about someone again, even though he thought it would be impossible because of everything he had experienced. But when you arrived, without even asking permission, you had already completely changed the course of his feelings. He knew he was meant to have you in his life as soon as your arms went around Jake's waist that night, holding him without knowing him. Just to hear him cry and vent. There he knew.

"Come on, let's go home" he whispered before kissing you again, slowly and leaning his forehead against yours in the process.

"But I need to find the girls—"

"I'll call Heeseung and let them know we're going home, they'll find you there" Jake pulled away, taking your hand and entwining your fingers together with his.

"What's the rush, Jake Sim?" your hand slowly squeezed his, causing Jake to laugh as the boy grabbed his belongings from the infirmary room to leave.

Stepping through the front door, leading the way while still holding your hand, Jake felt your face lean against his shoulder. Gently as he still felt a little pain. Jake leaned down to kiss the top of your head quickly.

"Because I want you to hug me like you did the first time" you stopped walking as soon as you heard his words, your heart racing even more after seeing him smile at you. That smile so beautiful and bright right next to your face, you could only kiss him again, hearing him whisper against your lips "Only now I can earn some kisses too, right?"

Laughing, you nibbled lightly on Jake's lip before pulling away. Hugging him like the first time, on the couch at his place while kissing him now… It was everything you imagined before, but it felt a thousand times better now that it was happening.

© ikeuverse, 2023. do not copy, translate or steal my stories.

damn, this was even posted on my birthday and I'm sobbing for it WHAT DO YOU EVEN KNOWWWWW 😭😭😭😭

Somebody else

Hyunjin x reader. Exes to lovers. Miscommunication. Hints of past toxic relationships. Flawed characters and happy ending :)

Inspired from Somebody Else by The 1975, highly recommend listening to it while reading!

You and Hyunjin have broken up, guilt and blame simmering between you both. He doesn't care anymore, or so he thought. Then why does it hurt him to see you with someone else?

skz song series masterlist.

Strobing lights, vibrant streaks of blue and red ricocheting off your skin. Bodies pressed to yours, trying to fray themselves a passage to dance in. Someone bumps onto your shoulder but you don't care enough to even glance at them. Your eyes are fixated on Hyunjin.

You broke up two weeks ago, you don't even remember why. Petty arguments and even pettier reactions from both of you, your egos holding you back from saying what you truly feel. 

You hated arguments, especially with him. Because they reminded you of how much you cared for him, immensely so, how you regarded him as a part of your soul, one you couldn't part with. The mere thought of his departure left you feeling like a seashell washed ashore- hollow and condemned to echo the sounds of the ocean it was forcibly separated from. 

So, in the heat of the moment, you let anger pull you in her fiery hold- she's all encompassing, wrapping around you like a steel shield, making you less vulnerable in Hyunjin’s hands. But she also clouds your senses, and you find yourself uttering stupid nonsense, such as ‘Maybe we should break up’.

You’ve never thought about it, let alone wanted to end things with him. You wanted to take those words back as soon as you said them, to rewind the seconds and erase them from both of your memories. But then Hyunjin agreed, so easily, as if he was eagerly awaiting the bait you just threw at him. 'You know what? Maybe we should' and he left, slamming the door of your apartment. 

You stayed up all night, waiting for him to come back. He knew you didn't mean it, right? Surely, he understood that it was your feeble attempt to guard your wounded heart. It's been stomped on carelessly, thrown around enough that he must know you were just afraid.

But you haven’t seen him since.

And now you're both here, at the party that Changbin organized. He's your mutual friend and he insisted that you'd come as well. "Binnie, I don't want to."

"You both are just idiots who'll get back together. You’re coming," he silenced you, and you sulked in your place. But his words ignited something in you- a childish hope, that maybe he was right and Hyunjin still cared about you.

But all of it was shattered as you set foot inside Changbin’s house. It was easy to find Hyunjin, sitting in the middle of a couch, legs slightly spread apart. He was wearing a white shirt, its top buttons undone. You watched as he easily captured the attention of everyone around him, as they hung into his every word, admiring him. That's the thing with Hyunjin, it's easy to admire him, to crave being near him, because he's enchanting, and his laugh makes you want to make him happy ten times fold.  

You scoff bitterly, as someone places their hand on his arm and he doesn't move them away. He leans onto their touch and a surge of bile rises in your throat. Perhaps this is what you fought about- anger that cowardly hid behind it your insecurity at dating someone so sought after. It was foolish after all, to believe that the sun would get attached to a mere speck of light.

"You're here alone?" a voice interrupts your train of thought, and you turn around to find Chan. You smile at the familiar face, a welcome respite from the dull ache settling in your heart, making itself a home within your veins. 

"Our friends are all over the place," you explain, and he nods in understanding. "Changbin made me come but I don't know where he is," he whines, leaning closer to your ear so you could hear him over the pulsating music. 

"So, we're all here because of Bin?" you giggle and Chan's laugh fills the air, his dimples proudly on display. There was this comforting aura surrounding him, which made it much easier to breathe in his presence. And you needed to feel safe somewhere at this party, where all you saw were glimpses of Hyunjin and the hurt he inflicted on you. 

"Do you want to dance?" you ask, and Chan's grin widens in response, so you grab his forearm leading him to the makeshift dance floor.

Hyunjin silently watches as you and Chan dance with one another. He can’t see you properly, hidden by the swarms of bodies pressed together. But he gets glimpses of you each time someone moves a bit away. You appear to him like a mirage- something he once had and yet so unattainable right now.

I don’t want your body, but I hate to think about you with somebody else

Hyunjin is fine with the fact that you left him, that’s what he tells himself as he downs his drink. He’s used to people leaving after some time when he’s no longer enough. He did think that maybe things with you would be different, that for once, someone would stay. That you would shatter this idea ingrained in his mind- that he’s easily disposable, as someone told him a long time ago.

But you wished to leave him too, and for the first time in his life, Hyunjin wanted to beg someone to stay. He thought of pulling you in for a dizzying kiss, so you’d second-guess your decision, so he’d show you that he’s still good at something. But he swallowed this pathetic want and he left.

He walked slowly, thinking that maybe you’d follow him. You’d shout his name and then he’d turn back and run towards you. He’d throw his pride over his shoulder and he’d apologize.

But you didn’t.

So, he’s okay with it, or at least that’s what he thought. He doesn’t want you anymore. So why does it hurt to watch you with Chan?

Our love has gone cold you’re intertwining your soul with somebody else

An ugly thought rears itself into his brain. You’ve liked Chan long before you broke up with Hyunjin. Maybe the time you've spent with Chan, working on your musical project made your heart gravitate towards him, and you were simply awaiting the right moment to end things with Hyunjin. That’s why you’re smiling so effortlessly at Chan. That’s why he’s spinning you around, and holding your arm to move you away from a drunk couple.

Hyunjin lost you before he realized he lost you. Maybe when he laid next to you in bed you were thinking of Chan. Maybe it was his touch you longed for whenever Hyunjin hugged you. You wouldn’t be the first to do this to him. 

I’m looking through you while you’re looking through your phone and then leaving with somebody else

You’re laughing hard, and your hand is on Chan’s shoulder as he steadies you. But then you look up and your eyes lock with Hyunjin’s. He can only watch as the happiness slowly drains from your face, as you whisper something into Chan’s ear who then leads you outside. 

Hyunjin's heart sinks in his chest- he couldn't recognize you anymore, the affection once present in your eyes diluted to a mere semblance of indifference. And you still looked so beautiful to him, despite it all. He felt as if you were stabbing him with a rusty knife, and yet all he focused on was how soft your hands looked holding the bloody blade. 

Hyunjin gets up to pour himself another drink, shrugging away the hand of the person who was sitting next to him. He doesn’t want you anymore, he doesn't care that you're probably kissing Chan right now. But he secretly hopes that if he drinks enough, the faces all around him will blur until all he sees again is you.

No don’t want your body but I’m picturing your body with somebody else

"Are you okay?" Chan asks, his voice soft and concerned as you draw in a deep, shuddering breath. It feels as if there was no room in your heart anymore for oxygen, the ache for Hyunjin taking it all up.

"Is it bad that I miss him so much?" you ask, your voice sounding frail to your ears. 

"He misses you too. You know that, right?"

"He left, so easily. I don't think he does after all," you smile sadly. It hurt to utter those words out loud, because it made them feel much more real, intensifying the raw pain within you. 

"I’ve never seen him look so sad before," Chan points out and you know he's just trying to help, but it just further tears you apart. You don't want false hope, you don't want to build yourself a world where Hyunjin still wants you, only for it to be shattered afterward. 

"Can we talk about something else?" you plead and he nods, before sharing with you the ropes of his latest project. He's working on a ballad for once, and you listen attentively, allowing yourself to be absorbed in the intricacies he describes. It provides you a temporary solace, which then makes a frightening thought dawn on you. 

Is this how it will be from now on? Seeking distractions from the people surrounding you, in the hopes it will quest the thirst of the ache threatening to drown you? 

Oh, come on baby, this ain't the last time that I’ll see your face

"Yn!" Hyunjin calls out, breathless, watching you abruptly stop in your tracks. It's foolish and pathetic, but he couldn't resist following you when you bid goodbye to Chan. He was sick of the tumultuous thoughts swirling in his head. He wanted to hear them from you. It'd make accepting them easier.

"Leave me alone," you shout back, walking even faster and away from him.

"Fine, leave again. That's all you fucking do anyways," he yells angrily, frustration seeping into his words. It makes you pause once again, and you suck in a deep breath before marching back to him. 

"What's that supposed to mean?" 

"Chan? Out of all people?" he scoffs, ignoring your question. That's the only thing he kept thinking of. You and Chan, laughing, talking, dancing, the way you used to with him.

And come on baby, you said you found someone to take my place

"Fuck you Hyunjin," you spit out, turning around but he stops you, a hand wrapped around your forearm. Despite the anger cursing through him, his hold on you is still gentle. You can free yourself from him, easily.

"So, it's true, then? You replaced me with him?" Fresh pain swims in his eyes, and he makes no attempt to conceal it anymore. He was tired of pretending he was okay with you leaving.

"What is it to you, huh? You left me," you shout back, jabbing your finger forcefully into his chest. 

"I left? You're the one who said that it'd be better if we broke up!"

"It's not like you disagreed, huh? You probably felt so relieved that I handed you this outing, didn't you Hyunjin?" 

"Don't twist this on me," he says firmly, gripping your finger to halt your repetitive jabs. "Am I that easy to forget? Did I matter this little to you?" He questions, voice cracking with his every word. 

"Let me go," you plead, tears brimming in your waterline. 

"Answer me. That's the least you could do for me. I need to hear it from you." Hyunjin has never been this unguarded with you, searching your eyes with an intensity that shakes you to the core. He's asking and yet it feels as if he's just expecting you to say yes, to reiterate the idea drilled into his mind, to prove everybody right once again. 

"I didn't forget about you, is this what you want to hear?" you whisper, voice laced with excruciating exhaustion. "You're all I thought about for the last two weeks. I heard your voice in my mind more than my own. I even kept your opened drink in my fridge just in case you might come back for it." 

"You're killing me, yn," he shuts his eyes closed forcefully, as if your words physically pained him. "Didn't you tell me that we should break up?" 

"You don't understand," you shake your head, a bitter chuckle leaving you. "Everyone loves you Hyunjin. Everyone would fight to be with you. You must know it, and it's dangerous when someone knows they can easily replace you. I have no one to protect me so I tried to protect myself. I didn't think I’ll survive if you left me too."

"Everyone loves me?" he repeats, as a newfound emotion shines in his eyes. "Are you in this everyone too? Do you love me, yn?" his voice wavers, as the weight of his question hangs in the air. 

You feel as if the world around you stills, holding its breath for your response. You know that any possible future with Hyunjin rests upon the words you'll choose to speak. You already know the answer, even though you decided to not tell him. Out of all the emotions you've ever experienced, love still scares you the most. And you're afraid of what your confession will entail, of tipping the balance towards a crueler reality- one where Hyunjin doesn't return your feelings. 

"Please let me go," you beg, as a singular tear trails out of your eyes. 

"Look at me," he urges, desperation lacing his words. But you shake your head, unable to meet his gaze, afraid that he will peel all your defenses with it. "Baby, look at me," he calls softly, as he gently wipes away your tears. The nickname sounds so familiar coming from his lips, and it further crumbles your shaky resolve.

"Don't call me that if you're leaving, please," you beg and he smiles softly at you, hooking a finger under your shin.

"Can't you see I'm too in love with you to go again?" he whispers, the tenderness in his voice washing over you, casting a flicker of hope into your heart. 

"I'm scared too," he speaks again, placing your hand on top of his widely beating heart. "I'm scared and so tired, yn. Of feeling disposable to everyone around me. When you... When you told me it'd be best if we broke up, it felt worse than anyone leaving me before. Because it was you. And I really wanted you to stay." 

"I didn't mean it, I never thought of it even, I promise you. I'm so sorry." The words tumble from your lips in a rush, an earnest attempt to keep the hope alive, to prevent it from withering down. "Please stay. I love you, I truly do," you plead, no longer caring how vulnerable you sound in that instant. You curl your hand around his, and he intertwines his fingers with yours, squeezing them gently. And you feel as if the universe exhales in relief, resuming its usual course. 

"I never wanted to leave either. And when I saw you with Chan I thought I lost you for good," his voice is softer now, as if embarrassed of his own admission. "It hurt, more than I imagined it would." 

You press your forehead against his, closing your eyes to relish in the feeling of being so close to him once again. 

"Really?" you tease gently, a glimmer of a smile playing at the corners of your mouth. "You looked perfectly fine to me."

"What do you even know,” he mutters quietly, before pressing his soft lips onto yours.

damn, I'm so touch deprived

"i've missed you" (jungwon x reader)

genre: fluff word count: 0.6k requested by @i-am-confused-about-life <3

a/n: it's drabble time!! thought i'm not gonna post tonight but oh well 💀 dropping a little shorter one but i hope you guys like it just as much <3

What Jungwon has learnt throughout the entire two years you've been together is that you turn into a light sleeper whenever he's not around. So the turned off lights are enough for him to know that he needs to keep quiet and walk around on his toes. He quietly closes the door behind him, then sets his suitcase right next to the staircase.

Unpacking can wait couple hours more. All that he needs right now is to finally fall asleep with your body curled up next to his – the beloved feeling that he's been deprived of for two months as he's been away on a tour.

He walks up the stairs and pushes the tilted door of your shared bedroom open only to be met with a sight of you asleep. The dim moonlight peaking through the curtains lets him distinguish the way that your face gets smothered by a pillow in the dark, and he feels a smile creeping up on his face almost in an instant.

One look at you is enough to make him feel at home.

Stirring in your sleep, you feel a pair of all too familiar arms wrapping around your middle. The scent, your favorite scent in the entire world, of your boyfriend's cologne engulfs you warmly and you feel a sting of giddiness waking you out of your sleep.

"Won?" You ask groggily, turning around in his tight hold. The second that your eyes meet his sparkly ones, you let a tired grin spread your lips widely and you throw yourself on his neck, pulling him closely to your body. "You're home!"

Your breath tickles his neck but he would rather die than to find it in himself to complain about any of that that – not after he's been missing you like crazy for such a long time. So he nuzzles his head in your shoulder instead.

"Hi, love. Sorry, didn't mean to wake you up."

You smack his arm lightly before going back to squeezing the life out of him. "I'm glad you did. Wanna greet you properly," you mumble in his neck, fingers playing with the hair on the back of his head. He hums before pressing his warm lips to your temple. "You're early, though. Thought you were supposed to come in the evening?"

"We took an earlier flight. Couldn't wait to get home to you. See your pretty face again."

His hands caress your skin ever so gently, the touch nearly lulling you back to sleep. So before your eyes close back again, you tighten your arms around him and whisper a small "I've missed you" with a voice full of emotion.

Jungwon runs his fingers through your hair, carefully untangling whatever knots have created at the ends of your locks. He's well aware you're seconds away from drifting away again but he doesn't mind that at all. Because now he has you in his arms again – his love, his sunshine, and he relishes in the relief as his heart full of longing finally feels almost hundred pounds lighter.

"I've missed you too. So fucking much," he whispers back, letting his lips linger over your cheek after he places a kiss upon it. His nose gently nudges yours before he pulls you impossibly close to his chest and eventually allows his heavy eyelids to flutter shut.

With your body flush to his and the faint sound of your breathing soothing him as well as a lullaby, Jungwon knows he'll finally get a good night's sleep after two months of tossing restlessly in the hotel beds.

"I'm taking you with me the next time," he mumbles into your hair, not even sure if you're listening or if you're already fast asleep but he keeps talking, "I don't care, from now on I'm taking you anywhere I go. Couldn't deal without you for so long again."

permanent taglist: @bambisgirl @arizejkt19 @luvmura @milisabunny @cathy-1997 @venividibitchin @ramenoil @jenjnk

this is so cutee 😭

when minho falls in love - l.m.h x reader

summary: when minho falls in love with you, he realizes he will continue falling for eternity

pairing: minho x gn!reader

genre: fluff

wc: >1000

was this loosely based on when emma falls in love? who knows (yes it was). ily enjoy this little drabble <3

Minho realizes he's in love with you after you call him in the middle of the night. It's way past his bedtime — the one he has set for himself. Minho sleeps at 11 pm every day, with no days off. He's a morning person and, to him, nights were made for doubting himself.

But he's wide awake when he picks up the phone and hears your voice.

You begin to ramble about something he can't quite understand, but assume that it must be about this online order you placed a few days ago and never heard back from the seller. He can hear you pacing around the room, your footsteps hitting the wooden floor and the rain pouring and tickling your window. You change the topic and ask about his day, "It was good, let's go back to that issue."

"No, the seller has just shipped it," and he can't help but snicker. He tells you about his day and pays attention to the ruffle on your bed, your incessant tossing and turning to find the perfect spot and the faint click to turn off your night lamp, and Minho can't help but wonder what it feels like to fall asleep in the same bed as you right now. "Let's grab a coffee tomorrow? Since you kept me awake past my bedtime."

He hears your muffled confirmation, a sleepy "are you twelve?" and can almost picture you falling asleep on top of your phone when he whispers his goodbye.

Minho can't sleep now. He's wide awake and has to stare at the raindrops on his window until it dries out and he stops thinking about what it would be like to look at them if he was sleeping next to you. When he finally dozes off, one of his cats jumps on top of him and he can't help but dream about what you would look like being awakened by the same cat at that moment.

You meet him at the café. Minho solidifies the idea of being in love with you right then, right now. "I can't believe you kept me up just to blabber about an order that had already been shipped."

"I have to train you to keep up with my sleeping habits."

"You have no sleeping habits," he looks at you in the same way a beekeeper looks at their bees, "sleeping for three days and then not sleeping at all is not a sleeping habit."

"Then you should keep up with me,” and he swears you look at him with the same fascination as you look at seashells before stuffing your pockets with them, "it's lonely without you."

"Absence makes the heart grow fonder," Minho laughs and takes a sip of your latte, immediately fake gagging, "actually, I should keep up with you. Teach you how to have some taste."

You take your drink from his hands, lightly kicking his shin. Minho always laughs at your antics, and he always looks deep into your eyes to try and find the moment in your life when you started developing said antics. He tries to figure out when you started touching your cheeks when you laugh, why you started ducking when pigeons come near you and how you keep up with the amount of sugar you eat since he first met you.

When Minho sees you, he wants to figure out what makes you, you. He wishes to be one with you to uncover every part of your heart and mind before you call him out again for staring and not even blinking.

"Why are you glancing at me like this?"

"Go out with me." he says before he has the chance to think about his words, "or don't."

"I will," he sees your smile and foresees your next words, "or will I?"

This night, when you call him again, Minho realizes again he's in love with you. He had been realizing the same thing every day for the past few months, ever since you two started dating. When Minho fell in love with you, he knew that there was no escaping from this, there were no locks on his doors when it came to you and not one thing he could look at without thinking of you.

When Minho fell in love with you, he knew he was in it for eternity. So, when Minho calls you in the middle of the night a year or two later, he's not surprised to hear the word "husband" coming from your lips referring to him, and he's not surprised either when he feels like he has just realized that he's falling in love with you for the nth time in that day.

. . . . . . . . . 남자친구의 후디 ★ b o y f r i e n d ‘ s h o o d i e

p a i r i n g s :: lee heeseung x reader

g e n r e :: fluff, angst

w a r n i n g :: not proofread

w / c :: 1.2k

Ok so maybe you have a problem? One that you will not gladly admit because you don't think you have a problem. Because is it truly a problem if you just want to enjoy the comfort of your boyfriend's hoodie without being constantly teased about it. Or is it because maybe you wear it too often, or the fact that you like to wear because it smells like him, or just because your friends are jealous.

You aren't sure what the problem is but everyone around you says you have a problem. But is it really problem if he doesn't have a problem with it? He never seemed to have a problem with it until you had a problem with it.

With a huff you entered the room which would usually get his attention but no, he continued to focus on the video he was watching. You frowned a bit and pouted making your way over to the desk and yet he hadn't taken his eyes off the screen. With a frown you nudged his head with yours, hoping he would look at you. With a sigh he looked over at you and raised a brow.

"I need you to take this back." You pouted holding your hand out which held his hoodie. He furrowed his brows before glancing down at the article of clothing then back to you. Now Heeseung was confused.

He blinked for a few moments before tilting his head. "Is she really...?" He thought to himself. When he noticed your face, you were dead serious. An amused smirk played on his lips and he hummed in thought. He glanced back to the hoodie then back to you. You sighed again and held out the article of clothing once more, now getting annoyed. "Why won't you take it?!" You whined with an even more exaggerated pout.

Heeseung snorted as he leaned back in his seat. With a shrug of his shoulders he spoke."So, you don't want it anymore. Why the sudden change?" He questioned raising an eyebrow at you. With a pout, you dropped your arm back down. "I don't know! I just don't like it anymore, okay." You huffed as you walked around to stand next to him.

"If you didn't like it then why did you keep wearing it." Heeseung smirked again. He looked over at you waiting for a response, which you didn't give. You only continued to pout as you crossed your arms across your chest.

Heeseung watched you for a bit longer before leaning back in his chair and crossing his arms. "Just take it please?" You were practically begging at this point.

Heeseung chuckled softly, thoroughly enjoying the situation. He could sense your frustration, but he couldn't resist teasing you a bit longer. He pretended to ponder for a moment, tapping his fingers on the desk. Finally, he relented and reached out to take the hoodie from your hand.

"Alright, fine. I'll take it back," Heeseung said, his smirk still evident on his face. You didn't say much more but sulk out of the room leaving Heeseung wondering what was truly going on with you. But he knew you'd come around and tell him yourself. Hours seemed to go by, and you remained in a somewhat sullen mood, avoiding Heeseung and what's bothering you altogether.

Heeseung couldn't help but press his lips into a thin line. Not only was you not being around him and talking his ear off frustrating him, but the fact you still hadn't told him what was bothering you was slowly pissing him off. Peering at the clock on the wall, he decided to take matters into his own hands. He walked out of the room and found you with your legs thrown over the couch and you looking at the world upside down, lost in your thoughts.

Shaking his head he pulled you from the couch which earned him a groan in protest. As he began to pull off the jacket you were wearing you groaned pushing his hands away. "Just let me sulk in peace." You whined trying your best to pull away from him, however Heeseung remained determined. He held onto you firmly, not allowing you to escape his grasp as he successfully had gotten you out of the jacket and was now trying to place the hoodie over you.

You struggled against Heeseung's attempts to put the hoodie back on you, but he was persistent. He managed to slide the hoodie over your head and pulled it down, enveloping you in its warmth. You let out a defeated sigh as he pulled you into his arms and pulled you along with him back into the room.

As Heeseung guided you back into the room, you let yourself be led, feeling a mix of annoyance and curiosity about his actions. When he settled back into his chair, pulling you into his lap, you couldn't help but feel a mix of emotions. Your annoyance from earlier was still lingering, but the concern in his eyes softened your mood slightly. You rested your head against his chest, listening to the steady rhythm of his heartbeat.

"There's nothing wrong with me wearing your hoodie, right?" You asked breaking the silence. No words were uttered from him which made you look up at him in confusion to find his eyes fixed on you, a confused look on his face.

Heeseung blinked a few times, seemingly taken aback by your question. He paused for a moment, gathering his thoughts before he finally spoke. "Why would there be anything wrong with you wearing my hoodie?" he replied, his voice filled with genuine curiosity.

You took a deep breath, gathering your thoughts before responding. "Maybe I'm obsessed with wearing it. Everyone one else seems to think so." You spoke whispering the last part to yourself. Heeseung gently pressed a finger to your forehead, before speaking, "When has listening to what others have said brought you happiness? If wearing my hoodie brings you comfort and makes you happy, then there's nothing wrong with it. Don't let what others say bother you, you hear me?"

You couldn't help but agree with him. Sometimes you hated confiding in him especially since he always seemed to be right most of the time. You nodded sighing as you laid your head back on his chest. "I think I care too much," Heeseung tightened his arms around you as he spoke. "Which is one of things I admire you for. And what I am about to say I mean this from the bottom of my heart and out of love, you should stop caring so much." You looked up at him, noticing the serious look on his face.

He was right. You cared way too much about what others thought, and it was almost unhealthy. You had a habit of caring far too much about what others thought of you. With a soft sigh, you nodded your head in understanding. It would take time and effort to change that mindset, but you knew that Heeseung would be there to support you along the way.

Silence settled across the room. No words just silence and the comforting presence of Heeseung's embrace. "I think I would make a good thera-" You interrupted Heeseung with a gentle shush. "No more talking just hold me." Heeseung chuckled softly, understanding your need for silence and comfort. He tightened his embrace around you and let the silence envelop the room once again. The two of you sat together, basking in the warmth of each other's presence.

He looks so bf omg

💬 — ENHYPEN BOYFRIEND TEXTS

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤenhypen masterlist | library

a/n: ermm... honestly i've never tried these before 😭😭 but i was really bored and decided to make them I HOPE THEYRE NOT SUPER TRASH IM SORRY IF THEYRE CRINGY

pairings: enha x fem!reader (y/n is referred to as girlfriend)

warnings: a lot of cursing, kys joke, riki calls reader lady, situationship with Jake, pet names like... in every one of them, awful attempt at humor, spelling errors and grammar mistakes! if you want me to add a warning please lmk! genre: fluff, crack, angst-ish if you squint.

-

☆ — LEE HEESEUNG

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☆ — PARK JONGSEONG

(rest of the members under the cut!)

-

☆ — SIM JAEYUN

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☆ — PARK SUNGHOON

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☆ — KIM SUNOO

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☆ — YANG JUNGWON

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☆ — NISHIMURA RIKI

©tyunni please don't copy, translate or repost any of my work!

taglist: @geombyu @junityy @uygmoeb @sunghun @krewified @eternallyhyucks @pshjae @marknaeroni @feyregels @yyx2 @koishua @kac-chowsballs @echo-of-a-writer @w3bqrl @liz-riz @duolingofanaccount @goldenhypen @sungniverse @enhasimpeu @sieuneo @acciomylove @soobin-chois @anik-4 @yjwfav @ja4hyvn @ddeonubaby @deafeningballoonnacho @squiishymeow @iyeonjuni @odxrilove @nyaforniki @pinkyyyujin @addictedtothesummernights @love-4-keum (bold means i can’t mention you, if you want to be a part of my taglist fill this out!!)

one more month — bang chan. established relationship. fluff. chan missing you while he’s on tour. (0.6k words)

“Chan?”

It’s 11pm for you when he calls from his hotel room, somewhere oceans away. There’s still sleep dripping from your tone, and he can almost hear the rustling of sheets from your end.

“Sorry baby, did I wake you?” Chan speaks so quietly it’s almost a whisper. He was careful not to shake you out of your silence.

“Mmm, no.” You croak out.

He knows you’re lying, could almost picture you jolting from your sleep at the familiar buzz of your ringtone. The thought makes him swallow, teeth chewing on his bottom lip.

“Is there a reason why you’re calling?”

He pauses before answering. Chan has no idea how the fuck he’s feeling right now, but he knows he misses you.

It’s been 4 months since he last saw you. All he has are pictures of you in his phone, and occasional phone calls that will never suffice to the way you sound in person. To the way you feel in person.

Chan stares out the big fucking window from where they’re staying, finding comfort in the thought that you might be looking at the same moon.

He swallows again. “Does there have to be a reason?”

“Of course not.”

“Just miss you.” He breathes out slowly, head tilted on the glass windows. “And I wish— we didn’t have to be so far away all the time.”

He’s thinking of you, imagining how you look right now with tired eyes. He’s thinking of what it would be like if he was there right now. You’d probably be asleep, tangled up in each other’s limbs. It would look uncomfortable from an outsider’s eye, but he knows. Knows how it feels to have your heartbeat pressed against his and how nice it feels.

You sigh. “One more month.”

The tone in your voice is gentle, yet knowing. He knows you miss him too.

“For now, you need to sleep, no?”

It’s 3 in the morning for him, and he’ll have to be awake again in three hours.

“Can’t.” He bites his lip, swallowing hard as he tries to fight the sob brewing in his throat. Your heart clenches at the way he sounds, knows that when he feels, he lets it take over him.

“Will you be able to sleep if I stay on the phone?”

“Maybe.” Shaky.

“Okay. Have the kids been treating you well?”

A smile pulls at his lips at the mention of his best friends, and the topic change does a good job at masking the nauseating pain of missing you. A bandaid. A temporary fix.

“Still loud and stubborn, but I wouldn’t want them any other way.”

“Hmmm, I won’t be surprised if you come home with a head of white hair.”

He laughs at the thought, running a hand through his hair. “I think I’m already starting.”

“Then Seungmin calling you an old man is justifiable, then?”

“I don’t think I like you teaming up with the boys against me. You’ve signed up on my team the moment you said yes to being mine.”

You laugh from your end, and Chan’s heart flutters at the sound. He can almost see you with your crescent eyes and the cute scrunch on your nose, the one you do when you cackle.

He tries not to think about it too much. Tries not to picture himself right there with you. He knows it’d only rip the bandaid he’d desperately plastered on himself.

“Not sleepy yet?”

“Just a little.” He admits quietly, a yawn escaping his mouth.

There’s stifling from his end, and you can only assume he’s slipped himself back into the covers of his bed.

You keep telling him stories, no matter how menial, anything to keep him company. You know he just needs to hear your voice, has told you before how simply hearing you comforts him—it’s a calm only you can offer.

Chan breathes in and out slowly.

It’s four in the morning now, and there’s quiet snoring in the background.

“Goodnight Channie. One more month.”

ama namin nasan ang amin (1B)

can i request hyunjin x touch starved reader?

sure you can!! fluff and a pinch of angst. newly established relationship.

You never really had a problem with not being held; with living your life without a hand squeezing your shoulder, or gentle fingers trailing down your spine. You got used to it- to patting your own back and holding your hand in the dark. 

That is until Hyunjin came into your life.

Suddenly your touch was no longer enough. You craved much more- you wanted Hyunjin to wrap himself around you, not letting go until all your years of feeling alone were erased from your memory, one by one. 

But you couldn't tell him this, you were scared he'd find you too intense, too clingy. You've only been dating for two months, yet your yearning for him was overwhelming you already. 

You were afraid that the line between loving him and suffocating him would blur, and that he'd want to leave. So, when he held your hand, you always let go first. And when he went to cradle your face, you quickly moved away. You didn't want to discover what would happen if you didn't. 

But today, all your efforts to keep him at arms length went down the drain.

Hyunjin came over after a week of not seeing you. And as soon as you opened the door, he pulled you in for a bone-crushing hug. His head nestles in the crook of your neck, and you can feel him exhaling in relief, as if a huge weight is lifted off of him. His hand is on the back of your hair, smoothing it down gently. "Missed you," you hear him mumble, his breath tickling your skin, "missed you so much." 

"I missed you too," you smile, pulling away slightly from him, as you usually do, but this time he tightens his hold on you. 

You didn't know how much you needed someone not to let go of you until Hyunjin did it. 

You freeze in your place as he rocks you slowly from left to right, his arms still encircling your waist. His warmth seeps from his body to yours, filling your insides entirely. You feel your eyes well with tears, as you realize that Hyunjin likes touching you. That he finds comfort in it as well- by the way he's relaxing under your hold, his breaths coming out softly now. 

He's never hugged you for this long before, and you choke out a sob as he kisses your neck tenderly. "I missed hugging you," he whispers, pecking your bare skin once again. "I missed you," he repeats, trailing his hands up and down your arm, his shin now resting on your shoulder.

Your arms go limp by your sides as he pulls away from you, a wide smile on his face, only for it to disappear when he notices the tears in your eyes.

 "Baby?" he asks, confusion clearly painted across his pretty features. But then you see fear growing in his eyes, as he takes a step back away from you.

"Did you not want me to hug you? I'm so sorry I should've let go when you tried to pull away. I won't- I won't do it again. Please don't cry, I'm so-" You cut him off with your mouth crashing on his. You couldn't bare seeing the distraught look on his face anymore.

"Thank you for not letting go. I needed that so much," you whisper against his lips, your hands cradling his face gently. 

"Really? Then why were you crying?" he asks doubtfully, his eyes racking through your face for any sign of discomfort. 

"Because no one has ever held me as tightly before." You confess quietly, and Hyunjin's eyes soften at your words, his hand reaching up to rest on your own.

"You promise? I didn't make you uncomfortable?"

"You didn't, I promise you," you smile, wrapping your arms around him to further reassure him. He holds you to him instinctively, his hand rubbing soothing circles across your back.

You both hug each other for a while, standing in the middle of your apartment, the sun rays streaming through your curtains basking you both in a golden glow. 

Hyunjin places his chin on the top of your head, and you further sink into his chest. He smells nice, immensely so, and you try to find a word to describe how you're feeling in this moment. But all the descriptions pale in comparison to the warmth cursing through your veins. 

You imagine that this is what butterflies feel when they finally emerge from their chrysalises. When the first breeze caresses their fluttering wings- a need satiated after a long time of waiting.

"I won't let go if you don't," you giggle, your feet growing tired from standing for so long.

"That's the plan, my love."

"We'll hug here all day then?" you grin, leaning a bit away so you'd be able to look at his face.

"Yes," he beams at you, placing a soft kiss on your forehead. "Doesn't that sound nice?"

"It does," you smile, resting your cheek on his chest once again.

a little something for anyone who's having a hard day, prompted by Chan's msg on bubble. I'm proud of you as well <3

As soon as Chan set foot inside your apartment, you were quick to pull him in for a hug, clutching his shirt tightly in your fist. He didn't need you to say anything- he could immediately sense that you had a bad day.

Wordlessly, Chan bent down, picking you up as your legs wrapped around his waist. He moved to the closest couch where he sat you both down. There, he pulled you to his chest once again, rubbing soothing circles on your back.

"You're okay?" he asks softly, and you shake your head no.

"It's okay, you don't always need to feel good. It's normal to have a bad day. You've been working so hard, my love. It's okay to let it all out," he reassures, and you tighten your hold on him, tears falling freely from your eyes at his words.

"You did well today, baby. You did so well," he soothes, his gentle voice making a familiar warmth spread in your chest. "Thank you for waking up. Thank you for getting through the day. Thank you for breathing."

"It was so hard, Chan," you choke out a sob, and he shushes you quietly, rocking you in place back and forth.

"But you did it. You are home, and I'm with you. It's over now, yeah?" he reassures, planting a sweet kiss on your temple. You wrap your arms around his waist, further sinking into his comforting hold.

"I'm proud of you, I'm so proud of you. Always will be," he leans away a bit from you so he'd be able to look at your face. You know he's telling the truth- you can feel the love he has for you through his shining eyes.

"You hear me? As long as we're existing, then I'm proud of you. No matter what."