If You Sprinkle When You Tinkle Please Be Neat And Wipe The Seat Bro 💀🙏

Breaking Down My Fantasy F1 Teams

#1: The Charlos Reunion

This is the one where I actually tried. Which is probably sad. So I’ll swiftly move on to:

#2: Archive Of Our Own

The governing principle of this team is that even if your cars go at the speed of an overheating camel, if your drivers have been carefully chosen to maximize sexual tension, they’ll get their freak on so hard that they will take over the sport.

#3: On The Origin Of Drivers

The idea of this team is to use natural selection to weed out the bad drivers early. By putting the rookies (with the notable exception of l*am l*wson b/c he doesn’t deserve employment) in the fastest cars on the grid, the inferior drivers will crash before they can reproduce, meaning that only the fittest of rookies can survive and pass their genes on to the rest of the grid.

Some may doubt the ethics of this strategy, but consider this: If we simply put Lance Stroll in a car capable of going Mach Jesus at the beginning of his career, he would likely no longer be here to terrorize the rest of the grid. Thank you for coming to my TED talk.

I wonder if mlb duos would have official ship names if they were less awful. barsh? bicherro? albuña? balvarez? terrible

we as a society don't appreciate how much of a cutie patootie kodai senga is

me rn (if you even care)

oh my god i fucking miss baseball

Honk shmimimi fighting crime shoooo mimimi

they call me an undercover agent. the way i’m. under the covers :) cozy in bed :)

COMRADES LOCK THE HELL IN

Tumblr's Favourite Canadian: Round 1, Poll 3

Information below the cut.

Lance Stroll (b. October 29, 1998) is a Formula 1 driver originally from Montreal, Québec. He drives for Aston Martin alongside Fernando Alonso, and has gotten one pole position and three podiums.

Avril Lavigne (b. September 17, 1984) is a musician originally from Belleville, Ontario. She is a major figure in pop-punk music, and her 2002 album Let Go is the best-selling album by a Canadian artist of this century. She is best known for her songs "Girlfriend," "Sk8er Boi," and "Complicated."

I WAS WATCHING THIS GAME AND MY FIRST THOUGHT WAS “THE CAKE ON THIS PITCHER” LMAOOOO

what in the hell

this is my goal now for the gym

X

I love the Mets for multiple reasons, some even baseball related!!

But also. Harrison Bader in a pink crop top loving on dogs.