I Can Pay Strollonso Minimum Wage - Blog Posts

Breaking Down My Fantasy F1 Teams

#1: The Charlos Reunion

This is the one where I actually tried. Which is probably sad. So I’ll swiftly move on to:

#2: Archive Of Our Own

The governing principle of this team is that even if your cars go at the speed of an overheating camel, if your drivers have been carefully chosen to maximize sexual tension, they’ll get their freak on so hard that they will take over the sport.

#3: On The Origin Of Drivers

The idea of this team is to use natural selection to weed out the bad drivers early. By putting the rookies (with the notable exception of l*am l*wson b/c he doesn’t deserve employment) in the fastest cars on the grid, the inferior drivers will crash before they can reproduce, meaning that only the fittest of rookies can survive and pass their genes on to the rest of the grid.

Some may doubt the ethics of this strategy, but consider this: If we simply put Lance Stroll in a car capable of going Mach Jesus at the beginning of his career, he would likely no longer be here to terrorize the rest of the grid. Thank you for coming to my TED talk.