Me Because I Was Actually Not Able To Breathe By The End 🩷

everything reminds me of him (jude st francis)

auuuuuGHHHH the old man in Rome. Harold being so happy that Jude is recognized as his son by others even when they don't look anything alike, but the love is so clear and so vivid that people can just tell. Like when Harold was telling Liesl about adopting Jude and she can just tell how much he loves him that she says "You love him a lot" bc Harold loves so freely and so intensely and so unconditionally and his love shines out of him like warm rays of sun

And also the old man teasing Harold for being so plain but having such a beautiful wife and handsome son,,,,,,,,,,justice for Harold Stein

literally and the way harold and jude just fit, so well so that people think they’re biologically related. :(

“You wouldn’t last an hour in the asylum where they raised me.”

summer

moments from a little life

A Little Life: Fragrances

I saw someone (@bookwormthrowaway - hope you don't mind the mention) commenting on the scene related to that parfume scene, so I thought I'd make a post about it.

Disclaimer: I'm by no means an expert,they are just scents that somehow remind me of certain scenes and characters from the book. Also this is just my opinion. If you think differently, let me know.

I'll start with Jude, describing scents that I associate with him, giving recommendations for men, then for women. I'll repeat the process with Willem.

Mention of Fragrance in the Book

[ Willem would always bring him something from wherever he’d been working, and when he came back from The Odyssey, it was with two bottles of cologne that he’d had made at a famous perfumer’s atelier in Florence. Willem explained how he’d had to describe [Jude] to the nose—what colors he liked, what tastes, what parts of the world—and that the perfumer had created this fragrance for him.

He had smelled it: it was green and slightly peppery, with a raw, aching finish. “Vetiver,” Willem had said. “Try it on,” and he had, dabbing it onto his hand because he didn’t let Willem see his wrists back then.

Willem had sniffed at him. “I like it,” he said, “it smells nice on you,” and they were both suddenly shy with each other.

“Thanks, Willem,” he’d said. “I love it.”

Willem had a scent made for himself as well. His had been sandalwood-based, and [Jude] soon grew to associate the wood with him: whenever he smelled it—especially when he was far away: in India on business; in Japan; in Thailand—he would always think of Willem and would feel less alone. As the years passed, they both continued to order these scents from the Florence perfumer. ]

For Jude, these words would describe his fragrance:

Green and peppery perfume

Raw and aching finish scent

Unisex vetiver cologne

Woody and spicy fragrance

Earthy and green perfume

Vetiver-based scent

Men's Fragrances :

Grey Vetiver / Tom Ford

Top notes: Citrus (grapefruit, bergamot)

Heart notes: Vetiver, Spices (nutmeg kind of, pepper)

Base notes: Woods, Amber

Grey Vetiver by Tom Ford has a fresh, citrusy opening, followed by the distinctive earthy and woody scent of vetiver. As it lingers, the fragrance develops into a warm base with notes of woods and amber, creating a well-balanced and timeless aroma.

This perfume makes me think of Jude spending hours on end in his office, never missing a day of work, solving cases, defending in the courtroom, saving those big ass pharmaceutical companies.

Vetiver/Guerlain

Top notes: Citrus (lemon, bergamot), Spice

Heart notes: Vetiver, Woody

Base notes: Tobacco, Leather

Vetiver by Guerlain has a fresh, citrusy opening with notes of lemon and bergamot, followed by a prominent earthy and woody vetiver scent.

It makes me think of cleanliness, and somehow of the apartment on Green Street, also of that scene after Jude is beaten by Caleb, and Harold comes and cleans up the apartment. He mentioned that the apartment is very clean, full of cleaning products, and the whole place gives the impression that it is inhabited by someone with an organized and enviable life, with carefree parties and without regrets or insecurities. This fragrance makes me think of someone who lives there.

3. Terre d'Hermès

Top notes: Orange, Grapefruit

Heart notes: Flint, Pepper, Pelargonium

Base notes: Cedar, Vetiver, Benzoin

Terre d'Hermès features initial citrusy notes of orange and grapefruit, followed by a heart of flint, pepper, and pelargonium, and settles into a base of cedar, vetiver, and benzoin.

This fragrance reminds me of being in the woods, of the house Malcolm was building for Jude and Willem, and their visits there—walks in the countryside, a peaceful enough life. Perhaps even a bit of the early years on Lispenard Street, although it smells a bit too rich for that.

Women's Fragrances;

We are still with fragrances inspired by Jude here.

Jo Malone London's Earl Grey & Cucumber:

Top notes: Bergamot, Black Tea

Heart notes: Cucumber

Base notes: Musk

Jo Malone London's Earl Grey & Cucumber is a refreshing and aromatic fragrance with bright and citrusy notes of bergamot and black tea. The crisp heart of cucumber is complemented by the base notes of musk, creating a clean and elegant scent.

This fragrance reminds me of Harold and Julia's house in Truro and the vacations spent there, the walks on the beach, and swimming in the pool, the scent of the grass after a fresh rain.

Diptyque Vetyverio:

Top notes: Mandarin, Grapefruit, Lemon

Heart notes: Geranium Bourbon, Nutmeg, Clove

Base notes: Vetiver, Woody Notes.

Vetyverio by Diptyque is a vibrant and sophisticated fragrance with citrusy top notes of mandarin, grapefruit, and lemon. The heart features geranium bourbon, nutmeg, and clove, adding warmth and spice. The base, characterized by vetiver and woody notes, completes the composition with an earthy and refined essence.

The description makes it a bit dirty, but I consider that the feminine version of Jude would best fit with this. It brings to mind an intelligent, reserved person who takes long morning walks, that specific morning air – chilly and fresh, while still maintaining that vetiver base described by Willem.

Miller Harris Vetiver Insolent:

Top notes: Bergamot, Black Pepper, Elemi

Heart notes: Iris, Lavender, Amber

Base notes: Vetiver, Tonka Bean, Moss

Vetiver Insolent by Miller Harris is a distinctive fragrance with lively top notes of bergamot, black pepper, and elemi. The heart reveals a blend of iris, lavender, and amber, while the base notes of vetiver, tonka bean, and moss create a sophisticated and slightly rebellious character. The overall composition is fresh, offering a modern take on vetiver.

I associate this with a busy life, visits to the office (strangely, yes, it reminds me of the specific smell of the hospital, but it's more due to a personal connection than anything else), hurried afternoons, the onset of spring, and the freshness of the air.

For Willem, these words would describe his fragrance:

Warm wood fragrance

Amber wood scent

Oriental wood perfume

Sandalwood fragrance.

Men's Fragrance :

Tom Ford Santal Blush:

Top notes: Indian spices, Cumin, Cinnamon

Heart notes: Australian sandalwood, Benzoin, Virginia cedar

Base notes: Amber, Vanilla, Woody notes

Santal Blush by Tom Ford is a warm and spicy fragrance with a blend of Indian spices, cumin, and cinnamon. The heart features the richness of Australian sandalwood, benzoin, and Virginia cedar. The base notes of amber, vanilla, and woody elements create a sensual and luxurious trail, making Santal Blush sophisticated and alluring.

It makes me think of autumn, Willem's favorite season – leaves falling, the scent from cafés lingering in the air, the coffee Willem stopped to drink, and the fresh aroma from it. The pastries made by Jude late at night while Willem stands beside him, the feeling you have when you finally get home, staying in bed for another 5 minutes in the morning.

Santal 33 by Le Labo :

Top notes: Cardamom, Iris

Heart notes: Ambrox, Violet, Sandalwood

Base notes: Cedarwood, Leather, Musk

Santal 33 by Le Labo is a distinctive and unisex fragrance with intriguing top notes of cardamom and iris. The heart introduces ambrox, violet, and sandalwood, creating a woody and floral accord. The base notes of cedarwood, leather, and musk contribute to the overall warmth and sophistication, making Santal 33 a modern and memorable olfactory experience.

If 'Santal Blush' by Tom Ford mentioned above smelled like home and comfort, this one certainly does not. It takes me with thoughts of leaving home for extended periods, to the first scent Jude would smell after Willem finally came back. To film promotions, airports, interviews - in general, to that hectic, famous, and rushed life that Willem had.

Diptyque Tam Dao:

Top notes: Rosewood, Cypress, Myrtle

Heart notes: Spices, Woods, Patchouli

Base notes: Sandalwood, Cedar, Vanilla

Tam Dao by Diptyque opens with a blend of rosewood, cypress, and myrtle, offering a fresh and aromatic introduction. The heart notes introduce a combination of spices, various woods, and patchouli, adding warmth and complexity. The base notes of sandalwood, cedar, and vanilla create a creamy and comforting finish, contributing to the overall sophisticated and serene aura of Tam Dao. The scent is often celebrated for its smooth, balanced, and unisex appeal.

This one takes me in between the two fragrances mentioned above, not quite at home but not entirely in the professional life either. It makes me think of the visits that Jude and Willem had in France, India, Rome - especially Rome. And I believe this perfume would also fit well with Jude, always reminding me of those bits towards the end, where Harold and Julia are with Jude in Rome, how Harold seeks Jude in every person, in every corner.

Women's Fragrances;

Creed Original Santal

Top notes: Orange Tree Absolute, Jamaican Ginger, Sicilian Lemon

Heart notes: Lavender, Peppermint, Rosemary, Pinkberries

Base notes: Mysore Sandalwood, Virginia Cedar, Vanilla, Siam Benzoin, Ambergris

Creed Original Santal is a luxurious fragrance with a citrusy and spicy opening featuring orange tree absolute, Jamaican ginger, and Sicilian lemon. The heart unfolds with a blend of lavender, peppermint, rosemary, and pinkberries. The base, characterized by Mysore sandalwood, Virginia cedar, vanilla, Siam benzoin, and ambergris, creates a warm and inviting essence, offering a rich and opulent olfactory experience.

Honest, although the scent takes me all around the character of Willem and what it represents (but in the feminine version, of course), this is not my favorite fragrance. I don't even know how to explain why; I've only smelled it a few times because my sister wears it, but it felt suffocating to me. Let me know if any of you have ever tried it.

2. Herba Fresca Aqua Allegoria Guerlain

Top notes: Green Tea, Lemon, Mint, Petitgrain

Heart notes: Green Notes, Lily of the Valley

Base notes: Green Musk

Aqua Allegoria Herba Fresca by Guerlain opens with a refreshing blend of green tea, lemon, mint, and petitgrain, creating a crisp and invigorating start. The heart notes introduce green elements and the delicate floral note of lily of the valley, contributing to the fragrance's natural and airy quality. The base notes of green musk provide a subtle and clean finish, enhancing the overall freshness of Herba Fresca. This fragrance is often celebrated for its light and uplifting character, making it a suitable choice for warm weather or those who appreciate green and citrusy scents.

I associate this type of perfume with those good girls, the "girls girl" type, which you surely know. Those kind and beautiful girls who are ready to go the extra mile for others – it also reminds me of Willem, of course. I don't know if this is more of a subconscious association, but I had a high school classmate who wore only this scent throughout all 4 years, and I loved her for it.

3. Burberry Her Blossom

Top notes: Mandarin, Pink Peppercorn, Plum

Heart notes: Cherry Blossom, Peony, Violet

Base notes: Musk, Sandalwood

Burberry Her Blossom opens with a vibrant combination of mandarin, pink peppercorn, and plum, creating a fruity and energetic introduction. The heart notes feature the delicate and floral accord of cherry blossom, peony, and violet, contributing to the fragrance's feminine and romantic character. Musk and sandalwood in the base provide a soft and comforting finish, rounding out the overall composition. Her Blossom is often described as a youthful and charming scent, suitable for those who enjoy sweet and floral fragrances.

Something more feminine, but still capturing the woody undertone that Jude associated with Willem. The only issue I noticed is that it doesn't last long. I sprayed three pumps on my wrist as a sample, and in 3 hours, the scent was very faint, almost nonexistent. I don't know if it's just my skin or if it's a general issue. I left it on because it smells fantastic and gives me the vibe of the character.

Affordable Fragrances

Not everyone can afford Tom Ford and Jo Malone every day, so here are some budget-friendly alternatives. While I believe in investing in a good perfume that lasts longer, I understand the appeal of more affordable options for frequent use.

I haven't tried all of these myself, but I've read the descriptions and reviews from others, so I hope you find in them what came to my mind when I smelled and thought of them.

Men's Affordable Options

Davidoff Cool Water:

Notes: Sea Water, Mint, Green Notes, Lavender, Coriander, Rosemary

Description: A refreshing blend opening with sea water, mint, and green notes, followed by a floral heart of geranium and jasmine. The warm base of cedarwood, musk, and tobacco creates a timeless and versatile fragrance, often associated with a clean, oceanic scent.

Lomani Pour Homme:

Notes: Bergamot, Lavender, Lemon, Rosemary

Description: Citrusy and herbal, Lomani Pour Homme opens with bergamot and rosemary, featuring a heart of geranium and clary sage. The base of oakmoss, cedarwood, musk, and amber gives it a classic and masculine character, suitable for various occasions.

Women's Affordable Options

Bodycology Pure White Gardenia Fragrance Mist:

Notes: Citrus Accord, Gardenia, Jasmine, Lily of the Valley, Musk

Description: A bright and citrusy mist with a floral heart of gardenia, jasmine, and lily of the valley. Musk in the base adds a soft finish, creating an overall feminine and refreshing essence.

Bodycology Pure White Gardenia Fragrance Mist:

Notes: Citrus Accord, Gardenia, Jasmine, Lily of the Valley, Musk

Description: Opens with a bright citrus accord, revealing a floral bouquet of gardenia, jasmine, and lily of the valley. Musk in the base enhances the overall femininity, designed for light and refreshing everyday use.

Green Tea by Elizabeth Arden

Notes: Caraway, Fruity Rhubarb, Lemon, Orange Zest, Bergamot, Cool Minty Peppermint, Green Tea, Sweet Jasmine, Spicy Carnation, Fresh Fennel, Musk, Oakmoss, Amber

Description: A vibrant blend of citrus and fruity notes, featuring green tea, minty peppermint, floral jasmine, and spicy carnation. The base of musk, oakmoss, and amber provides a comforting finish, making it a popular choice for clean and energizing scents.

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The method Willem used to create a specific perfume for Jude is a real one (even though it's as expensive as hell), describing the person to the perfumer, detailing their personality, favorite colors, the parts of the world they're connected to, and their tastes. I want you to know that this is also how I've been searching for fragrance recommendations.

Also, that was my favorite moment in the book because my dad, who practically has a job creating custom perfumes, made one for my mom before proposing to her. I don't know, but this idea has always sounded to me like the ultimate gesture of love for your partner. Ugh Can you belive Im still not over this book ? Me neither..

Let me know if I made any mistakes in the names of the perfumes, images, or descriptions, and tell me if you have any other questions. I hope you found this helpful!

JB going into the studio for the first time after jude’s death

malcom’s last architectural model remaining unfinished

willem’s last script staying unsaid

the last time jude sang

the last time a piano felt jude’s touch

the last time willem made a shopping list

so many things unsaid, unread, unfinished, unplayed, undone, so many limes never bought.

yeah there’s no way

so i DID just have to stifle a scream whilst crying about willems last thoughts. i feel sick 😆

he missed his brother 💔💔💔 NO NO NO NO

Both Luke, Harold, and Dr Traylor would make Jude drink milk with his dinner

Milk as a symbolism of childhood, protection, nurturing care. Milk used to regain physical strength when it was lost, because the three of them each needed jude for something (a tool, a son, a toy) and he needed that strength to take on what they wanted from him.