lispenardlover

Latest Posts by lispenardlover

But as much as he fears sex, he also wants to be touched, he wants to feel someone else’s hands on him, although the thought of that too terrifies him.

Both Luke, Harold, and Dr Traylor would make Jude drink milk with his dinner

Milk as a symbolism of childhood, protection, nurturing care. Milk used to regain physical strength when it was lost, because the three of them each needed jude for something (a tool, a son, a toy) and he needed that strength to take on what they wanted from him.

woah careful now. you might end up getting an order from a law professor for bacteria cookies for his wife

okay but getting to see the real bacteria cookies was awesome

i work in a bakery now… hate it and love it when there’s another parallel to jude in my life😍

floating jude st. francis head but he's no longer floating and also my ipad is pissing me off bc it makes the colors all wonky when i save it 🤬

yeah and who wants to see him find love? who wants to see him get adopted? who wants to see what the other boys in his life do? who cares? he got raped that’s the only valid or worthwhile thing to mention!!!!

Hanya Yanagihara, A Little Life

[ 𝐈 ] 𝐋𝐢𝐬𝐩𝐞𝐧𝐚𝐫𝐝 𝐒𝐭𝐫𝐞𝐞𝐭

𝐓𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐰𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐭𝐢𝐦𝐞𝐬 𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐮𝐫𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐚𝐜𝐡𝐢𝐞𝐯𝐞 𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐩𝐢𝐧𝐞𝐬𝐬 𝐟𝐞𝐥𝐭 𝐚𝐥𝐦𝐨𝐬𝐭 𝐨𝐩𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐢𝐯𝐞.

[ 𝐈𝐈 ] 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐏𝐨𝐬𝐭𝐦𝐚𝐧

𝐇𝐞 𝐰𝐚𝐬 𝐟𝐫𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐞𝐝 𝐨𝐟 𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐲𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠, 𝐢𝐭 𝐬𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐭𝐢𝐦𝐞𝐬 𝐬𝐞𝐞𝐦𝐞𝐝, 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐡𝐞 𝐡𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐚𝐛𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐡𝐢𝐦𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐟.

𝐅𝐞𝐚𝐫 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐡𝐚𝐭𝐫𝐞𝐝, 𝐟𝐞𝐚𝐫 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐡𝐚𝐭𝐫𝐞𝐝: 𝐨𝐟𝐭𝐞𝐧, 𝐢𝐭 𝐬𝐞𝐞𝐦𝐞𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐬𝐞 𝐰𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐨𝐧𝐥𝐲 𝐭𝐰𝐨 𝐪𝐮𝐚𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐢𝐞𝐬 𝐡𝐞 𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐬𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐞𝐝.

𝐅𝐞𝐚𝐫 𝐨𝐟 𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐲𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐞𝐥𝐬𝐞; 𝐡𝐚𝐭𝐫𝐞𝐝 𝐨𝐟 𝐡𝐢𝐦𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐟.

[ 𝐈𝐈𝐈 ] 𝐕𝐚𝐧𝐢𝐭𝐢𝐞𝐬

𝐀𝐫𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐩𝐲? 𝐡𝐞 𝐨𝐧𝐜𝐞 𝐚𝐬𝐤𝐞𝐝 𝐉𝐮𝐝𝐞 (𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐲 𝐦𝐮𝐬𝐭'𝐯𝐞 𝐛𝐞𝐞𝐧 𝐝𝐫𝐮𝐧𝐤).

𝐈 𝐝𝐨𝐧'𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐤 𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐩𝐢𝐧𝐞𝐬𝐬 𝐢𝐬 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐦𝐞, 𝐉𝐮𝐝𝐞 𝐡𝐚𝐝 𝐬𝐚𝐢𝐝 𝐚𝐭 𝐥𝐚𝐬𝐭, 𝐚𝐬 𝐢𝐟 𝐖𝐢𝐥𝐥𝐞𝐦 𝐡𝐚𝐝 𝐛𝐞𝐞𝐧 𝐨𝐟𝐟𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐡𝐢𝐦 𝐚 𝐝𝐢𝐬𝐡 𝐡𝐞 𝐝𝐢𝐝𝐧'𝐭 𝐰𝐚𝐧𝐭 𝐭𝐨 𝐞𝐚𝐭. 𝐁𝐮𝐭 𝐢𝐭'𝐬 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐲𝐨𝐮, 𝐖𝐢𝐥𝐥𝐞𝐦.

[ 𝐈𝐕 ] 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐀𝐱𝐢𝐨𝐦 𝐨𝐟 𝐄𝐪𝐮𝐚𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐲

𝐱=𝐱, 𝐡𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐤𝐬. 𝐱=𝐱, 𝐱=𝐱.

[ 𝐕 ] 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐇𝐚𝐩𝐩𝐲 𝐘𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐬

'𝐖𝐞 𝐬𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐜𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐬𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐩𝐲 𝐲𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐬.'

[ 𝐕𝐈 ] 𝐃𝐞𝐚𝐫 𝐂𝐨𝐦𝐫𝐚𝐝𝐞

𝐖𝐚𝐬𝐧'𝐭 𝐢𝐭 𝐚 𝐦𝐢𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐥𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐬𝐮𝐫𝐯𝐢𝐯𝐞𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐮𝐧𝐬𝐮𝐫𝐯𝐢𝐯𝐚𝐛𝐥𝐞?

𝐖𝐚𝐬𝐧'𝐭 𝐟𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐩 𝐢𝐭'𝐬 𝐨𝐰𝐧 𝐦𝐢𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐥𝐞, 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐟𝐢𝐧𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐨𝐟 𝐚𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐨𝐧 𝐰𝐡𝐨 𝐦𝐚𝐝𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐫𝐞 𝐥𝐨𝐧𝐞𝐥𝐲 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐥𝐝 𝐬𝐞𝐞𝐦 𝐬𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐡𝐨𝐰 𝐥𝐞𝐬𝐬 𝐥𝐨𝐧𝐞𝐥𝐲?

[ 𝐕𝐈𝐈 ] 𝐋𝐢𝐬𝐩𝐞𝐧𝐚𝐫𝐝 𝐒𝐭𝐫𝐞𝐞𝐭

'𝐈𝐭'𝐬 𝐚 𝐠𝐨𝐨𝐝 𝐬𝐭𝐨𝐫𝐲', 𝐡𝐞 𝐬𝐚𝐢𝐝. '𝐈'𝐥𝐥 𝐭𝐞𝐥𝐥 𝐲𝐨𝐮.'

'𝐏𝐥𝐞𝐚𝐬𝐞', 𝐈 𝐬𝐚𝐢𝐝. 𝐀𝐧𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐡𝐞 𝐝𝐢𝐝.

jude following brother luke into the greenhouse (and into the truck, and into motel after motel)

tiktok ALL readers when the main character with deeply complex trauma gets triggered by things 😮😮😮

thank u @orpheuslament for showing this shit to us so i could feel smarter .

it’s like have you ever heard of real life before. so many people kill themselves, and the fact that the book isn’t wrapped up in a neat little bow of beginning, conflict and resolution like most books does not mean jude is bad representation. it demonstrates an anti brain function ideology that actually makes me go crazy… say you didn’t like it because you want everyone to be happy ever after! guess what! suicide doesn’t make sense, and thousands of people never get a happy ever after.

people in the a little life tag being like "jude st francis is bad representation because there is no moral resolution for his trauma" i am BEGGING you to shut the fuck up

this quote haunts me

he missed his brother 💔💔💔 NO NO NO NO

so i DID just have to stifle a scream whilst crying about willems last thoughts. i feel sick 😆

guys should i re read ALL or am i asking for a winter suicide attempt

the kinda shit the brothers would tell jude:

Hanya saying that sometimes people endure things from which they cannot recover continues to offend a lot of takes-posting individuals online who are committed to a bad faith analysis of anything they do not personally enjoy.

Her statement is descriptive, rather than prescriptive. It is not an assertion that at X point, it's no longer possible to recover from traumatic experiences. It describes the fact that some people, for whatever reason(s), cannot or do not "get over" traumatic experiences and are affected by them for their whole lives. She didn't make that up. It's not a pleasant reality, but it is true!

And the intensity of people's reactions to A Little Life leads me to wonder: would any depiction of that reality in fiction would be palatable to those readers?

cooper koch would be SO GOOD as willem that being said i actually hope the book is never adapted for the screen

“Cooper Koch omg he would be perfect!!!!!”

Surely they mean for Willem, right?

“ ‘Sometimes it’s because I feel so awful, or ashamed, and I need to make physical what I feel,’ he began, and glanced at me before looking down again. ‘And sometimes it’s because I feel so many things and I need to feel nothing at all- it helps clear them away. And sometimes it’s because I feel happy, and I have to remind myself that I shouldn’t.’ “

A Little Life, Hanya Yanagihara

Their (the boys in the hood) last canonical hangout all together was in April

I DIDNT NEED TO SEE THIS !

the fact that jude willem jb + macolm were never able to all be together again… they hung out for the last time and didn’t know it! they’ll never be able to argue about silly things in their dorms anymore what if i killed myself

willem a truck behind YOU💜

jude when he used to swim so he wouldn’t relapse:

me because i was actually not able to breathe by the end 🩷

Me back to when I finished Dear comrade AND Lispenard street in ONE sitting

jude wondering if he did something wrong because willem didn't hold him one time. all i can say is i relate

Jude with cigarette

Just saw someone on Instagram say closing a little life by hanya yanaghihara feels like losing a close friend because of how real all the characters feel and it’s exactly how it felt to finish it for the first time

It just downed on me that Jude died in the summer.

“Jude’s season”

summer

moments from a little life

*sees a man in a grey suit" omg jude st francis cosplay