Child Handling For The Childless Nurse

child handling for the childless nurse

My current job has me working with children, which is kind of a weird shock after years in environments where a “young” patient is 40 years old.  Here’s my impressions so far:

Birth - 1 year: Essentially a small cute animal.  Handle accordingly; gently and affectionately, but relying heavily on the caregivers and with no real expectation of cooperation.

Age 1 - 2: Hates you.  Hates you so much.  You can smile, you can coo, you can attempt to soothe; they hate you anyway, because you’re a stranger and you’re scary and you’re touching them.  There’s no winning this so just get it over with as quickly and non-traumatically as possible.

Age 3 - 5: Nervous around medical things, but possible to soothe.  Easily upset, but also easily distracted from the thing that upset them.  Smartphone cartoons and “who wants a sticker?!!?!?” are key management techniques.

Age 6 - 10: Really cool, actually.  I did not realize kids were this cool.  Around this age they tend to be fairly outgoing, and super curious and eager to learn.  Absolutely do not babytalk; instead, flatter them with how grown-up they are, teach them some Fun Gross Medical Facts, and introduce potentially frightening experiences with “hey, you want to see something really cool?”

Age 11 - 14: Extremely variable.  Can be very childish or very mature, or rapidly switch from one mode to the other.  At this point you can almost treat them as an adult, just… a really sensitive and unpredictable adult.  Do not, under any circumstances, offer stickers.  (But they might grab one out of the bin anyway.)

Age 15 - 18: Basically an adult with severely limited life experience.  Treat as an adult who needs a little extra education with their care.  Keep parents out of the room as much as possible, unless the kid wants them there.  At this point you can go ahead and offer stickers again, because they’ll probably think it’s funny.  And they’ll want one.  Deep down, everyone wants a sticker.

More Posts from M0th-b0nes and Others

11 months ago

Petition to add more disabled magical creatures in fantasy

Like picture a mermaid. When they have to be on land their tail turns to legs, but because their body is used to lower gravity their joints tire easily and are chronically in pain.

Also depending on how deep in the ocean they live, it’s likely they have circulation problems because their body is used to the water pressure holding everything where it needs to be and now their blood is always fucking pooling in their legs and they have to wear compression socks everywhere.

Wheelchair user mermaids. Partially/fully blind mermaids because who needs to see when there’s no light at the bottom of the ocean?

Mermaids with sensory issues who have to wear headphones all the time because sound is so much louder up here on land and they are constantly overstimulated. And also the sun is simply Too Bright™.

Mermaids who have POTS because in the water postural changes make no difference and their bodies don’t know how to stabilize with so much gravity.

I’m really fixated on the mermaids rn but PLEASE feel more than welcome to add more!!!! I wanna hear about disabled dragons

1 year ago

I cannot understand how some people "don't know how to portray Gaz" in fics, if we literally have this clip

Like, it's enough to understand so much! His sense of humour, his relationships with Kate and Price, his sarcastic chill energy. It's all right in front of you, just open your eyes!!

4 months ago

let's recap what we've learned about the United States in the last few days.

things that are terrorism:

allegedly shooting a healthcare CEO whose company generated more pure profit (not revenue, profit) in a year than the GDP of 94 countries, exclusively by denying coverage to people who pay for it

a 42-year-old mother of 2 using the wrong combination of 7 words during a heated conversation with a call center employee at a health insurance company who was in the process of denying her health coverage.

things that are not terrorism:

mass shooting in a Black church to incite a race war

going to a BLM protest specifically to kill protestors

a neo-nazi running over a crowd of people, killing a woman

targeting and killing 23 latinos in an el paso, texas walmart

killing 12 people in a theatre, shooting 58 others, rigging your apartment with explosives

a QAnon groyper killing 7 and shooting ~50 at a 4th of July parade

killing 3 people and shooting several others at a Planned Parenthood in defense of the unborn

stalking someone relentlessly and then killing them and their child despite months of the victim making police reports

any one of the 1,200 murders committed by US police yearly, the vast majority being minorities

tightening your border while ~100 immigrants (including children) drown every year in the Rio Grande

United Healthcare killing an unnknowable number of elderly people by using faulty AI to deny medically necessary coverage

Aetna killing a woman by refusing to cover her cancer care

Blue Cross killing a 6-year-old by denying her appendicitis surgery

Cigna killing a 17-year-old child by denying her liver transplant

the pharmaceutical industry killing half a million people with opioids in the name of producing revenues in 2023 that rivaled the GDPs of countries like Spain, Mexico, and Australia.

the United States killing 45,000 people a year because they can't access health coverage

make sure you keep this guide handy the next time you find yourself interacting with your insurance company or any other millionaire, billionaire, or an individual who is part of a protected class such as a CEO or president of a corporation.

2 years ago

types of fantasy subgenres - writing help

high / epic fantasy - a genre of fantasy that holds its own world and creatures. examples of this could be J.R.R. Tolkien's LOTR, or C.S. Lewis' Chronicles of Narnia

low fantasy - a genre where there are regular magical happenings in "our" world—such as a magical school, or people with magical abilities. this could be found in J.K. Rowling's Harry Potter, or Studio Ghibli's Spirited Away

urban fantasy - essentially low fantasy, only it takes place in an urban setting such as a big city. an example of this is Cassandra Clare's City of Bones

sword and sorcery - fantasy that is centred around swords, magic, and witchcraft. it is a subgenre of high fantasy. a book is Robert E. Howard's Conan series

dark fantasy - fantasy elements mixed with horror. The Atlas Six, by Olivia Blake

fable - a story with a moral lesson

arthurian fantasy - anything derived from the tales of King Arthur (the Sword in the Stone, etc.)

crosswords fantasy - essentially where the main character crosses between their world and a fantasy world. an example of this could be Lewis Carroll's Alice in Wonderland

dragon fantasy - what it sounds like.

historical fantasy - a cross between the historical fiction and low fantasy subgeneres. it could be set in a royal court filled with goblins, for example, in a time that was once present on earth.

1 year ago
2 years ago

reasons to watch rise: "hm? yeahyeah, whatever leo said is probably right."

9 months ago

"Anyone can remember the important stuff, can you remember the trivial stuff?"

6 years ago

Writing About: Pirates

The Characters and the Fiction

Tips for writing about pirates

10 Tips for writing pirate fiction

Types of pirates 1

Types of Pirates 2

Not Even Pirates Spoke Pirate

6 Absurd Pirate Myths Everyone Believes

Ten Facts About Pirates

Life

What did pirates drink? 

Pirate Life

Oh to be a Pirate

Real life pirates

Real-life pirates of the caribbean

Ten Facts About Anne Bonny and Mary Read

Historical Female Pirates

Women Pirates, Female Pirates in Story

History of Black Pirates

Raids, Not Race, Were What Mattered to Black Pirates

Wikipedia’s List of Pirates

Historic Periods

The Golden Age of Piracy

1680-1730: Pirates and Anglo-American Piracy in the Atlantic

1700-1725 The Golden Age of Piracy

Big Cities during the Golden Age

The Ships

Category: Pirate Ships

6 Famous Pirate Ships

Ship Parts (possibly flawed but very long list)

Ship Parts

Definitions of Caribbean-used Ships

Positions and Duties on Board of a Pirate Ship

Weapons and Fighting

History of Pirate Weapons

Pirate Weapons

Sword Fight and Pirates

Writing Sword Fight Scenes 101

For Writers: How to Write Sword-Fight Scenes

Books

Villains of All Nations

The Pirate Primer: Mastering the Language of Swashbucklers and Rogues

Popular Pirate Fiction Books

Websites

x The Way of The Pirates

x Historic Naval Fiction

x The Pirate King

x Swashbuckler

x Pirates & Privateers

-Alex

6 years ago

writing resources masterpost

i am just CRANKING out the masterposts. linked to original posts whenever possible. enjoy!! 

100 beautiful words

name generators

plotting made simple

places to put character descriptions

guide to fantasy

how to passive voice

research resources

regular masterpost i’m including bc of all the writing/grammar links

for writers creating their own worlds/characters

who and whom how to

ways to avoid saying the word ‘very’

several ways to find the word you’re looking for

look up illegal stuff in a legal way

deflate inflated phrases

rhymes made easy

start the story

good character traits ref sheet

character traits generator

write real people

limits of the human body

best yet most infuriating writing advice

seven steps to the perfect story

100 ugly and beautiful words

quick guide to myers briggs personalities

eye shapes for writers

four temperaments

tip top writing tip

visualize your character’s house

random writing tips

castle terminology

kurt vonnegut’s rules for writing fiction

words that describe a voice

surnames/last names masterpost

random city/name generators

character building stuff

size comparison

build a realistic character

here’s why every word is important

hemingway writing checker

ideas for character flaws

if you think writing a book is easy, read this

cis person writing trans character? read this

stages of deterioration in the human body

resources for writing character bios

stuff u should know about all ur characters

2 years ago

the dub really does hold up surprisingly well. also what the fuck

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m0th-b0nes - hi :)
hi :)

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