Technically We Are Actually Stars.

I just mash the buttons and somehow won against my cousin who knew the game better than I did

". . . Well that's kinda a dumb rule" "I KNOW RIGHT?!" "So.... can I still come cause like..... I've watched a lot of cartoons as a kid so I wanna whack someone with a mallet. It's actually on my bucket list of questionable things I wanna do." "Your what now?"

You were summoned to a fantasy world. As you are eager to begin your new life as the hero, the summoner explains: "Actually, our party already has one. In fact, you're only here because we need a human member in order for us to be officially recognized as a hero's party."

Me behind you: Do your tasks or else I'm having fish for dinner.

guys I've been assigned two tasks at once ,please pray for me

"BUT DON'T GIVE MY CHILD A FUCKING DAGGER YOU DUMB FUCK!"

“Why are you giving my newborn baby a dagger?!” “Well they’re a choosen one, which means that I’m destined to be killed by them; but honestly I’ve been waiting centuries for them to be born and I just want to get it over with.”

Me: *looks at Genie laws* Huh.... Okay looks like it's allowed. Master: I'm a lawyer Me: That explains it.

You are a genie. Predictably, your latest master uses their first wish to wish for infinite wishes, but you tell them you’re unable to give infinite wishes. What you didn’t expect was that they would instead use their first wish to wish that you were able to give infinite wishes.

Me: *is crying* Demon hunter 1: WHY THE FUCK IS SHE CRYING?! WHAT THE FUCK DO WE DO?! Demon hunter 3:*is panik* Demon hunter 2: I'm too sober for this.... *goes to drink alcohol*

Your father is a demon, and your mother is a human. You were raised by her, and only saw your father a handful of times as a kid. Your mom raised you right. You're by all accounts a pretty good person, which is why it was a shock when demon hunters showed up at your door.

Villain: I have your child Father: Which one? Villain: Ummm... long brown hair and brown eyes. Chubby but not fat, mostly skinny but with chub. She's smiling at the floor for some reason. Father: Oh! That's my daughter Mikachu! Yeah you don't have her... she has you. HAVE FUN SWEEITE!

You were the only child that didn’t have powers in a family of metahumans. Today you got kidnapped by a supervillain… and none of your family came to the rescue.

"I was living.... ON THE GOD DAMN STREETS AND I AM CLEARLY SKIN AND BONES!!!!" "That doesn't prove anything" ". . . ARE YOU DUMB?!"

[Writing Prompt) You were screwed over by a genie when you wished for wealth and money. Now, you stand against a magical court trying to prove your case that your wish was not caused by greed, but by necessity

.... tits and dicks.... a bisexual's dream..... SIGN ME UP FOR THIS SHAPESHIFTER PARTNER!!!

Your friends are convinced that you have a new date every single day with all of the guys/girls you bring home. In reality, your partner is a shapeshifter and the two of you have been pulling a prank on your friends for years.

Bro I need someone like this for my talkative ass.