Before Drew Brees Arrived In New Orleans And Gentrified The Saints' Quarterback Position, Aaron Brooks

Lately I've Been Falling In Love

I try to fall in love at least once a week. Lately I’ve been falling in love with music and cities because people don’t always love you back the way you want them to. Instead of setting myself on fire, I’d rather buy a ticket to New York and fall in love with the view. Or listen to Coltrane and fall in love with the blues. Or run my finger across a map and fall in love with the idea of falling in love with someone new, somewhere new, in a place I’ve never been and in a language I’m not that fluent. But sometimes I can’t help myself and I still fall in love with you. All of you. Over and over again. I fall in love with the memories. I fall in love with the possibilities. I fall in love with cities I’ve never been to, like Montreal, or Paris, or Little Rock, Arkansas. I fall in love with new Prince songs I’ve never heard before. I fall in love with bad advice. I fall in love with that missing hour of sleep I lost last night. I fall in love with the people who love me every now and then just to see what that feels like. 

The Forest x The City I ran into the forest because I thought I heard my name, but it may have just been the voices in my head, both them and you all sound the same. They said you never realize you’re lost until you try to go back the way you came, but there is no turning back now, I’ll build my fire here when it gets dark, come find me if you see the flames. I’ll stay here through the night until there is a little light to find my way, but when you see the smoke, the fire’s died, I’ve broken camp and it’s too late. I can navigate by the moon, wandering around until I’m found, but if your trees obstruct it’s view I’ll burn this forest to the ground. And build a city where you stood with buildings that reach higher than your trees ever could, and neon lights, we won’t need fire. And I’ll light you up at night, to where you’ll never see the stars, but you’ll look beautiful from a distance tourist will come by plane, train or barge just to get a picture of you. Or I could build you like they used to, with castles and with walls and erect statues of myself in the center of it all. Until the hurricane comes and earthquake shakes and the city crumbles to the ground and a forest grows in its place.

What is freedom and do I really want it? Freedom makes me uneasy. The idea of having infinite possibilities makes me anxious and lazy, because I feel like “free” can always be put off until tomorrow, or after I take my nap. Endlessness is daunting and can trick you into thinking that you have way more time than you actually do. I’m not sure if I completely trust myself with the autonomy over my decisions, because I change my mind often. I’m indecisive. I’m a Gemini. By nature we are lovers and fighters. What is freedom’s desire? Who is freedom’s enemy? I think the only freedom we seek is the freedom to choose what we want to be a slave to; love, time, money, art, wanderlust. I have been a slave to all of those things and for some reason have a desire to crawl back to them every time they let me go.

“Don’t you write no poems about me”

“Boy, don’t you write no poems about me!  I’m not trying to wake up tomorrow and read me on your timeline, or see some words written on your wall about how you trying to fall in and out of love with me, I don’t wanna hear all that. Matterfact, you probably write a poem for everybody, huh? I bet they all feel like the one once you get to talking like you do, I know you. Well, you can save all that with me. You need to be asleep anyway, don’t be over there trying to come up with something poetic to put up on your tumblr about us in the morning.”

In an alternate universe Nefertiti has a tattoo of 2pac on her chest. 👑

There are no pieces of you missing. The same way a tree doesn't miss its fruit when the farmers come for the harvest, neither should you worry about what parts of you are not there.

I finally bought that two story house in the neighborhood you liked just so I could use the return address on the letter I sent you. I drive by and check the mailbox every day waiting on your reply. I've never been inside.

This is what it sounds like...

“You know it will all be gone soon…” “I know” “So what do we do?” “Enjoy it”