Choose Your Weapon Just In Case This Doesn't Go As Planned. Hold My Hand But Hold Your Knife Too. I Promise

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Before Drew Brees arrived in New Orleans and gentrified the Saints' quarterback position, Aaron Brooks held almost every franchise passing record, including being the only quarterback to bring the Saints a playoff victory. Also, after Katrina he was the only person on the team to speak out against the NFL and Tom Benson for the way they handled the players, and was blackballed by every other team for it (except the Raiders). I'm surprised most fans have let Aaron Brooks fade into Saints obscurity. #2 was the first Saints jersey I owned. I'm not saying he was the best to ever stand under center, but at least he deserves his own mediocre restaurant along with the other New Orleans quarterbacks his jersey hangs next to in the team hall of fame. ⚜️

Are You Happy?

I never fully understood this question. Happy with what? Happiness sounds like an ending to me, "and they lived happily ever after." How can somebody who has more life to look forward to than to look back on honestly comprehend that question? Ask me in 50 years and maybe I'll have an answer for you. 

“There is nothing more powerful, than an idea whose time has come” - Saul Williams

Finally got to paint both of my grandparents for their birthdays.

Every time I see my Grandmaw she asks me why I never come around.  I tell her I’ve been busy doing things, like missing you, and leaving town.

Yet, you make me feel guilty whenever I ask for your company; I’m too needy,  get too attached, you can’t be all up under me. And I told my Grandmaw what you said, that I should spend more time alone, get to know me,  find myself,  do a few things on my own. 

Now, her memory ain’t the best, but she remembers that she never liked you much. Said that you were the needy one, so out of line and out of touch.

She told me that she missed me, but I’ve been going about it wrong. Grandmaw said we should treat love as a visitor and never as a home.

I Used To Have These Dreams About You...

I used to have these dreams about you. They were so vivid I’d wake up to see the blood rushing back to my skin where you had just let my arm go. I would open my eyes in mid sentence while mumbling something incoherently only to realize I was talking to a ghost. It felt like you were there, but every time I would try to grab your hand, or touch your hair, my arms would go right through you. Funny, you always had your rules. Why don’t  you ever take your shoes off while you walk around my head at night? You know my mind is made of hardwood floors. They creek with every step you take. At least close the door behind you so my thoughts don’t escape.

Waking up was always like walking away from a car crash. I would see my life flash before my eyes every morning, happy we’re still alive, but still holding regrets for those mistakes I made in the past. I would always have so much to tell you, but the nights never lasted long enough, and the dreams always ended too soon. I’m glad you’re here in this room so I no longer have to pretend I’m talkin… damn, I’m waking up again.

What Do You Believe In?

I never really knew if the earth went around the moon or the sun around the earth, but I still went to church when you asked me to. I still held hands and prayed with you even though I had questions about your prayers and your God and your Heaven and the stares I used to see your momma give to the Reverend when he sang hallelujah. But I never questioned your truth. I admired you for the fact that you could believe in something so blindly without ever needing proof, and that was enough to make me believe in us. I believed in love.

They say God is love so I thought my love was your truth, and I made sure I loved you exactly how you asked me to. On Sunday mornings at 8:00 am so we could get an early start on repentance for the sins we committed the night before. I was never sure what you prayed for, but I went through the motions with you even though all my prayers were ignored. I prayed for us.

I even turned my back on my own Catholic Jesus to pray to yours, despite the fact he and I still had some unresolved issues between us.

You shunned my philosophy. I held your hand as we believed in all your contradictions and hypocrisy.

You prayed for everything but us. You believed in everything but me.

I never had a religion, but I believed in you and you let me down. So what do I believe in now?

Superhero

You set your bedroom on fire just to get my attention. You complained I never noticed you. I saw the smoke coming from your window as I walked down your street and heard you screaming for me to break through. Usually one to stand idly by and watch things burn I decided this time to run in and save you.

You wanted to be saved and I didn’t care if any of this was staged I still ran up your fire escape, mask and cape, wanting to be a hero. My only superpowers are superficial. You called for me by name. I made it all the way up to the 3rd floor, kicked in your door, and blew out every flame.

There was nothing left for us but ash and dust. Then things changed.

There are people out there who know what it’s like to walk around with a book inside you. For years you feel heavy and weighed down because you have this story to tell, but you’re not quite ready yet because it’s a story that you’re still living, whatever that story is. So you write, and write, and delete, and start over, and little by little you come apart, but in a beautiful way, until it all comes together. And you have a story that no longer lives in you, but one that you will live in from that day forward. And you feel free, you feel lighter, you feel complete, you feel finished - A Dream For Sale is that story. It’s not the first story, and it won’t be the last story, but it is the story I have to tell right now. If you read Love and Water and wondered what happens next, I’m ready to let you know. // A Dream For Sale - August 27th 🎈✂️🎈